by T. L. Haddix
“How come?”
“You know why. Same reason I’ve always worried. He’s struggling with whether or not to come out. I think he needs to from a personal perspective, but I’m scared to death it will destroy his career. I know a lot of churches in larger cities are okay with having gay pastors, but this is Hazard. Even if he has taken a vow of celibacy, it might not be enough to preserve his job.”
“I don’t envy him that decision,” Sawyer said.
“Neither do I. I’m sorry we had to cut the conference short.”
He scowled. “Stop right there.”
She tilted her head to the side, her hair sliding over her shoulder with the movement. “What? I am. I could have driven home by myself.”
They’d reached her house, and Sawyer pulled the car in beside his truck. When he shut the motor off, Fig piped up from the back. Sawyer glanced at her, then turned his attention back to Sydney.
“You Campbells are constantly telling me I’m part of the family. Do you honestly think I’d have let you come back here alone? Even if I wasn’t close to you all, it’d be a lousy thing to do.”
She shook her head, though her lips were turned up into a tiny smile. “Gibson, thank you, not Campbell. But point taken.” When Fig meowed again, Sydney reached into the backseat. “I guess I’d better get her inside. Do you want to come in?”
“I’ll help you get your stuff in.”
“The good news here is that the house is mostly still vacant, so there won’t be that much catproofing to do. The bad news? I’m sure she’ll find something at three a.m. I should have put up.”
Once her things were inside and Fig’s box and food were set up, Sawyer knew he needed to go. But he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to linger. He couldn’t come up with a good excuse to stay, however.
“Let me know if there’s any news?” he asked as they walked to the front door.
“I will.” Sydney fiddled with the doorknob. “Thank you.”
He had to shove his hands in his pockets to keep from grabbing her and kissing the life out of her. If Danny hadn’t pulled up to the curb just then, he would have.
“See you Monday, then.”
“Okay.”
Walking away and getting in his truck was difficult. He had to tamp down the strong desire to go back in to Sydney. But Danny was with her, and she didn’t need Sawyer anymore.
“You’d do well to remember that, old man. She’s got more than enough people in her life to serve just about any role she needs. The two of you might pass the time on a trip, she might even flirt with you or end up in your bed, but that’s all it will ever be. That’s all you can let it be.”
For the first time in years, he resented the restrictions he’d put on himself. Lee’s words, as well as that damned kiss and holding Sydney close last night, were tearing through his reserve like well-aimed cannonballs. He might find himself in more trouble than he could handle if he wasn’t careful, and no safe way out.
Chapter Thirty-Two
By Monday, Sawyer had managed to get enough emotional distance from Sydney to get a grip on his feelings. Thinking to get an early start, he headed to the office an hour ahead of time. As he drove, he couldn’t help but think about how empty the passenger seat was.
The last thing he was expecting was to find Sydney already there, hard at work, when he walked in the door. He stopped, staring at her in blank confusion.
“What are you doing here?” he asked as he convinced his body to move and closed the door. He set his coffee and the bag containing his bear claw on her desk.
“Working. I couldn’t sleep, and I needed to stay busy. There are only so many times I can clean my house. Daddy came and got Fig since he’s off this week—he couldn’t resist the allure of a temporary cat—so I was twiddling my thumbs.”
“What about Carter’s allergies?” Sawyer studied her closely. She looked tired, and he guessed she probably hadn’t slept well since before they’d left Tennessee.
“Daddy gave him some antihistamines and dared him to sneeze. He really misses having cats. Said this would be a good trial run with Carter to see how he did.” She yawned, her eyes watering as she covered her mouth. “Sorry.”
Sawyer crossed his arms and donned his best stern face. “When did you get here?”
Sydney tried her best to look innocent, but she couldn’t pull it off. “Um… early?”
“Sydney…”
“Six?”
“Six? This morning?” He was appalled.
Shamefaced, she nodded. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“When did you sleep last? Really sleep, I mean.”
Her cheeks flushed, and she shrugged, looking at her computer instead of at him. “Before Tennessee.”
Sawyer let out a half groan, half sigh. “Stubborn. Come on.”
It was her turn to scowl. “Where are we going?”
He stopped by the edge of her desk, holding his hand out. “I’m putting you to bed. That’s why the cot’s here, in case I have to stay late or need a nap. Come on.”
“Sawyer, you can’t just put me to bed. I’m not a child,” she protested, even as she yawned again, this time so widely her jaw popped.
He lifted his eyebrows and didn’t say a word.
After a full minute, she rolled her eyes and stood. “Fine. I’ll lie down, but I won’t go to sleep.”
“I’m sure you won’t, but I’ll feel better.”
He followed her down the hall between the offices and the conference room to a small storage room located behind his office. It was just big enough for a table with a lamp, a cot, and a large wire shelf.
Sydney sat on the edge of the cot with a huff. “Okay. I’m in here. Scoot,” she said, waving her hands toward him.
Instead, Sawyer crossed the room and turned the lamp on, then switched the overhead light off. “Glasses off, shoes off, feet up.”
Once she’d complied, he unfolded the quilt at the foot of the cot and covered her with it.
“You call me stubborn,” she said. “You should look in the mirror.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, laughing. “Do you need anything?”
“Not to be mother henned would be nice.”
He ignored the complaint and pulled up a footstool, sitting. A lock of hair had fallen onto her cheek, and he pushed it back behind her ear. “I thought Eli was doing better, all things considered,” he said softly.
“He is. Even with the loss of the leg, John said he’s healing better than they’d hoped. Part of being a Campbell. But I worry about him psychologically. You know how Eli is—star athlete, mountain-climbing adrenaline junkie. What happens now?”
“I don’t know. It’s going to be up to him. If he’s nearly as stubborn as the rest of you, though, he’s got a damned good chance.”
She laughed, even though tears were slipping from the corners of her eyes. Sawyer wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her until she was okay. He settled for wiping the dampness away with his thumb.
“Try to get some sleep,” he whispered. “I’ll be right out here if you need me.”
“I’m going to remember this for when you get sick,” she warned him softly as he went out the door.
“Yeah, yeah. I don’t get sick.”
“You just tempted fate. Hope you know that, buddy.” Her eyelids were drooping, and he knew she’d be out as soon as he left her alone.
“Sleep, imp. Argue with me later.” He pulled the door halfway closed and headed to his office. He’d get what he needed and work at Sydney’s desk today, at least until she’d gotten some rest. And he’d do his damnedest to only check on her once an hour or so, instead of every ten minutes like he was tempted to do. Never mind his desire to watch over her while she slept or
crawl in the cot with her. Those were urges he’d pretend didn’t exist.
“You’re getting awfully damned good at pretending lately,” he muttered to himself. But he didn’t know what else he could do. Short of giving in to the urges, which he wasn’t prepared for, he didn’t have a lot of choice in the matter.
Emma came in around ten, her smile so sunny Sawyer knew she had good news.
“What is it?” he asked, laying his pen down on Sydney’s desk.
“He’s coming home late this week, they think. Well, back to the States, I should say. He’ll go to Walter Reed for the rest of his recuperation.” She was so happy, she clapped her hands. “Oh, thank God.”
“That’s great! Will he be able to have visitors?”
She nodded. “A whole convoy of Campbells. We’ll have to stagger things, but yes. We’ll be able to go see him.”
“I’m so glad. That’ll relieve a lot of minds,” Sawyer said. He came to his feet and stretched. “I thought they closed Walter Reed.”
“The old hospital, yes. There’s a new facility, though, same name. Where’s Syd?”
He directed her down the hall. “Sound asleep. I guess she came in at six this morning, and when I got here at eight, she was practically asleep at her desk. I made her come back here, and she’s been out ever since.” He stood back so Emma could ease the storage-room door open.
She watched Sydney for a minute, her lips compressed in a tight line, before pulling the door back around. Using her chin, she gestured back toward the office.
“She’s had a rough few weeks, you know,” she said once they were back in the reception area. “Even though not all of it’s been bad. She loves this job, and she’s happy to have met her brothers. But the rest of it? It’s worked on her some.”
“I know. I’ve tried to help as much as I could,” he said. He sat on the edge of Sydney’s desk and picked up the paperweight she kept there just for him to play with. “I don’t know what I’d do without her. John said I’d be saying that before long.”
Emma smiled. “She’s grown up quite nicely, I think. You always hope your kids will, and you do everything you can to walk that line between discipline and love. It’s still a crapshoot sometimes.”
“She’s definitely not what I expected. And I don’t mean that as an insult,” he hurried to say. “Just… you and Archer should be proud of her.”
“We are. I think if she can start dodging some of these punches life seems determined to throw at her, she’ll be happy. And that’s all we’ve ever wanted for her, to be happy. Like Daddy’s fond of saying, it doesn’t matter if our kids are world-famous photographers or if they’re garbage collectors, as long as they’re happy.”
Sawyer chuckled. “I’ve heard Owen say that a time or two.”
“I guess I’ll head back to the shop. I wouldn’t let her sleep much longer. She’ll be ticked off if you do.”
“I figured another hour, tops. Your daughter’s got a mind of her own, in case you hadn’t noticed. Thought I’d mention that,” he said, tongue-in-cheek. “I’m sure it’s never occurred to you before and you have no idea where she gets it from.”
Emma’s grin was both proud and sassy. “Comes from Archer. Have her call me when she’s conscious. Thanks for looking out for her, Sawyer.”
“Don’t mention it.”
After she left, he headed back down the hall to look in on Sydney again. She was still sleeping peacefully, not having moved from the spot he’d left her in hours earlier. He hated to disturb her, but he had to use the restroom, which was right next door to the storage room. Flushing the toilet would probably wake her up. That might not be a bad thing.
Even though he’d told Emma he planned to give her another hour, he figured earlier might be better. If she stayed asleep much longer, he’d be tempted to wake her with a kiss, and that simply would not do.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Friday found Sydney still trying to recover from her mortification at having slept for so long Monday morning. Coming into work when Sawyer would be taking the day off helped.
“We’re caught up, and I’m supposed to be retired. I’m going to sit at home and do absolutely nothing,” he’d told her Thursday afternoon. “You don’t have to work tomorrow.”
She’d glared at him without a word, and he’d shrugged. “Have fun, then.”
Now, as it approached noon, she was running out of things to work on. A package had come that he’d been expecting. Since he’d told her to call him if it came in, she did.
“It’s here, Boss,” she said in a sing-song voice when he answered her call. “What shall I do with it?”
“Bring it out here. It’s a part for this computer,” he said.
“Okay. Where exactly is here? You’re going to have to give me your address now,” she told him with an evil cackle.
Sawyer snorted and told her the address. “Do you mind bringing it after lunch? Just shut the office down for the day.”
“Fine. I’ll see you in a bit, then. I’ll grab something to eat and head that way. Do you want me to bring you anything?”
“Nope. I’m good.”
As she called an order for a salad in to the bakery next door, she couldn’t deny the thrill of anticipation that went down her spine. She was going to get to see Sawyer’s refuge, his home. Finally! Curiosity had been eating her alive.
He’d been very solicitous since Monday, not treating her with kid gloves exactly, but he’d made very sure she knew he was there for her if she needed him. It had taken more willpower than she’d known she possessed not to take him up on that offer.
“Begging the man to let me sleep in his bed so I can rest isn’t exactly a great way to keep my job,” she said to herself as she drove to the park to eat her lunch. “Although…”
She had to wonder. Sawyer hadn’t been flirting with her, necessarily, but there was no disguising the heat that was building between them. And there was the kiss and dance to consider.
“That was probably an aberration due to proximity and distance from home.” She’d told herself that a thousand times. She wasn’t sure if she believed it or not.
With her lunch finished and his address programmed into her GPS, she hit the road. In fifteen minutes, she was easing along a narrow blacktop road looking for the gate he’d told her about. “I’ve seen driveways wider than this road,” she muttered. “Good thing there isn’t much traffic.”
At last, she found it. The red metal gate was open, but there were prominent No Trespassing and Private Property signs posted all around the driveway.
“I hope I’m in the right place, or else I might end up getting myself shot. Here goes nothing.”
The gravel driveway itself climbed slightly in elevation, winding around a shallow curve with a small creek running beside it. When she came out of the curve, a clearing opened ahead of her to a meadow of sorts. A rustic but well-kept log cabin was at the end of the driveway, a two-car attached garage on one side. She could just see the edges of a pond behind the house.
Parking in front of one of the garage stalls, she rolled her windows down, then grabbed the package, her phone, her keys, and got out. Birds calling and squirrels chattering from the trees surrounding the clearing were the only sounds. The feel about the place was as peaceful as her grandparents’ farm, and she tipped her face up to the sun, breathing in the clean air.
“What do you think?” Sawyer asked.
Sydney jumped, shrieking with surprise. She fumbled the package, but luckily, he was standing close enough that he caught it before it hit the ground.
“You scared me to death!” she scolded as he laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “I’m gonna put a bell on you, I swear I am. Geez, Sawyer.”
He grinned, completely unrepentant. “Come on in. I’ll give you the to
ur.”
Her heart was pounding, both from the fright and from the fact that the man was only wearing worn denim cut-offs. He was barefoot and a bit scruffy, having apparently decided to forego shaving that morning. And it was all she could do to keep her hands off of him.
As they walked through the cabin, she tried to focus on what he was showing her. “I can see Noah’s touches here and there,” she said. “He does good work. This is a very nice place.”
“Yes, he does, and thanks. Here’s the kitchen.” Sawyer set the package down on the end of the counter. “And here’s my patio.” He held the french door open for her to pass through. “Pool’s over there.”
She looked to the right side of the stamped concrete pad. “A swim spa?”
“Yeah. It was an investment, but it was worth every penny. I’ll probably try to enclose it this winter, though. Swimming in the snow and freezing temperatures lost its novelty pretty fast last year.”
“I’d say. This is beautiful.” She tried to take it all in. The valley the house sat in was wide, opening up more than one might have expected from the drive in. And the back of the house itself faced the meadow, which widened as it climbed toward the head of the hollow. A couple of hundred feet back from the house was the pond, complete with a long dock and a shady weeping willow tree. “I’d never leave if I lived here.”
“I don’t know about never. It gets a little close after a week or two,” he teased.
“Do you fish out of the pond?”
“Nope. There’re no fish in my pond.”
She laughed. “That reminds me of a TV show Daddy loved to watch a few years back.”
“Stargate, by chance?” he asked with a wink.
“Yes, as a matter of fact. He got me and Graydon hooked on it, too.”
