“I noticed.” Ben watched him in obvious curiosity, though not a great deal of worry.
“Father forced the courtship with threats I could not ignore.” James took a deep breath. “One of those threats involved you.”
Ben sat beside him, looking concerned for the first time. “What did he threaten to do?”
“With the match no longer a possibility, Father is going to cut off your income.” There. It was out. “I’ll do what I can to help you, but he’s cutting me off as well. It—”
“James.”
“—won’t be much, but I’ll come up with something.”
“James.”
“You won’t—”
“Blast it, James. Stop talking and listen to me.”
James nodded. Ben would be angry, and rightly so. But he deserved that. He would take whatever tongue-lashing his brother chose to inflict.
“You agreed to Father’s scheme because he threatened to cut off my income from the estate?” Ben asked.
James nodded. “And Mother’s pin money.”
“And when he made these threats, did you check to make certain he had the ability to follow through with them?” Ben’s tone was very nearly condescending.
“He controls all facets of the estate, Ben. He—”
“Cannot violate the terms of his and Mother’s marriage settlement.” Ben shifted enough to look James in the eye. “When I inherited my ‘little bit of land,’ as Father calls it, I had a solicitor look into my financial situation, including my quarterly allowance from the Techney estate. I wanted to know how much reliable income I had to work with.” His gaze intensified, and he leaned a touch closer. “Father and Mother’s marriage settlement set forth and guaranteed the amount any younger sons would receive from the estate.”
“Then”—James’s mind reeled as he pieced together what Ben was saying—“Father cannot cut you off?”
“No.”
“It was an empty threat.” The thought had never occurred to him.
“Incidentally,” Ben said, “the marriage settlement also guarantees—”
“Mother’s pin money.” James knew the truth of it even as he spoke the words.
“I am afraid you have been duped, James.”
James clenched his fists. Father had tricked him into compromising everything he stood for. It had all been a lie.
A string of unflattering assessments of both himself and his father issued forth with the fluency borne of years of silent cursings. He’d sold his integrity for a pack of lies. Like an utter imbecile, he hadn’t even checked to see if Father had the ability to follow through.
A surge of bleakness tempered his anger. He had failed horribly.
Ben stood once more, a decidedly empathetic expression on his face. “I suppose, though, as the heir, you’ve never before had reason to wonder if you could be permanently cut off.”
He had never worried about that. Father could not ultimately disinherit him. “It is rather ridiculous, then, that his threat to beggar me is the only one he has the power to see through. That is the one that did not work to begin with.”
“The income of the heir was not specified in the marriage settlements,” Ben said, empathy ringing deep in his tone.
“Lucky me,” James muttered.
“What do you plan to do?”
James stood, an odd sense of numbness overtaking him. “I need to find someone to look after Mother—guard her from Father’s coldness.”
“A companion?” Ben asked.
James nodded. “A fierce companion, but one who will treat her with kindness.”
“That likely should have been done years ago,” Ben said.
James took a fortifying breath, his mind already listing the necessary steps to finding his mother a lady to keep her company and champion her. “I also need to find a source of income,” he said as much to himself as his brother.
“Employment?”
He couldn’t blame Ben for being shocked. Few members of the ton would lower themselves to seeking work. Most would live off their expectations or the generosity of their friends. “I’ve made enough selfish decisions lately. It’s time I begin taking responsibility for myself.”
Ben laid a hand on his shoulder. “Do you remember all those times we talked about finding the strength to choose our own paths? It is time you made good on those long-ago promises to yourself.”
His own path. “That is a daunting prospect for a fellow who is at his lowest point and rather glaringly alone.”
“You may have lost the devotion of a very remarkable lady, one who could probably navigate this maze with her eyes shut and her hands tied behind her back—”
James smiled a bit at the picture his brother painted. Daphne was, by all accounts, awe-inspiring. So capable and determined. He would never find another lady like her.
“—but you still have me,” Ben finished. “I know poverty rather well. I’ll show you how to live it in style.”
“I look forward to your tutelage.” James tried for a rueful smile, the effort feeling as though it fell decidedly short of the mark.
“Now get out so I can pack.” Ben’s smile took all the sting out of his words. But as quickly as it had appeared, his smile faded. “I wish all of this hadn’t hurt Miss Lancaster.”
“I made her cry, Ben.” Regret solidified as a lump in his throat. “She deserves so much better than the way I’ve treated her.”
“You said before that you thought the two of you could have been happy together. Was that just wishful thinking or . . . ?” Ben let the rest of the question dangle unspoken.
“I haven’t stopped thinking about her since yesterday. Not just the regrets and the hating myself for what I did, but thinking about her. Where she is. How she’s feeling. What it would take to see her again, and how impossible that hope is.”
Ben set his hand on James’s shoulder. “I am sorry . . . about everything.”
“So am I,” James said. “More sorry than I can even say.”
“What comes next?” Ben asked.
“I need to talk to Mother.” He only hoped she would hold up. Difficulties undid her easily.
He stepped inside his mother’s bedchamber, coming face-to-face with the writing desk where Daphne had expertly concocted teas and tisanes to see Mother through that difficult night. He stood there a moment, mourning what might have been.
“James.” Mother’s characteristically quiet voice reached him from her place near the fire. She was out of bed. That was a good sign. “I am so pleased you’ve come. I had hoped we could visit before I returned to Lancashire.”
He pulled up the ottoman and sat at her feet, as he’d often done as a child. “I was hoping for the same thing, as a matter of fact.”
She gave him a look of something bordering on pity. “What happened with Miss Lancaster?”
He quickly explained how Daphne had overheard his conversation with Father and had learned of the real reason he had begun to court her. He could still remember so clearly the pain in her face, the devastation. She had cried. The sight haunted him.
“What did your father threaten to do if you refused?” Mother asked.
“Something I have come to find out he has not the authority to do,” James answered.
“James.” She lightly touched his hand, a hesitancy in the gesture that had never been there before. “I know you want to shield me from unpleasantness, the way you do everyone, but I would really like to know.”
He couldn’t immediately bring himself to burden her with the full extent of her husband’s villainy. “He threatened you and Ben.” He shifted uncomfortably at the idea of discussing this with her. She was too easily overwhelmed by difficulties. He offered what he hoped she interpreted as an apologetic look.
“If Miss Lancaster had asked you the details of a p
roblem you were dealing with, no matter how difficult that problem might have been, would you have told her?”
James did not even have to ponder the question. He would have told her and without hesitation. Daphne would not only have remained collected during the conversation; she would have talked with him, helped him sort out the trouble.
“I watched you with her,” Mother said. “She changed you. And though I was extremely reluctant to accept what was so obvious, feeling as though doing so was somehow betraying you, she changed you for the better. Do you know that it has been years since I have heard you laugh?”
Truly? He did not remember being so unhappy.
“Seeing you the day the two of you played lawn bowls was like watching a completely different person. The tension you always carry melted away, your”—her voice broke—“your eyes were smiling, James. I have not seen that since you were a tiny boy.”
He had felt it too. For once, his responsibilities hadn’t felt like burdens. He had truly enjoyed himself in a way he hadn’t in years.
“I wanted to hate her for taking away your control over your own future, but the more I knew her, the more I found disliking her impossible.”
He placed his hand over Mother’s where it still rested on his arm and lightly squeezed her fingers. “Miss Lancaster is a remarkable person. I don’t believe anyone could possibly dislike her.”
“You would walk into a room,” Mother said, “and your eyes would search the whole of it until you found her. A look of relief would cross your face, as though simply knowing she was nearby comforted you on the instant. That I could not explain away. Nor the fact that you turned to her so naturally when even the smallest difficulty arose or to make some witty observation or simply to talk to her. You are not one to open yourself up to people in that way.”
Daphne had been an easy and natural confidante, something he hadn’t expected.
“Do you love her, James?” Such a direct question was unlike Mother.
“Ben asked me the same thing.”
“And what did you tell your brother?”
“Father’s edict may have instigated this courtship, but the more I knew her, the more time I spent with her, the less I thought about the beginnings of all this. The courtship became real in my mind.” It truly had. “I like her a great deal.”
“You like the puppy a great deal, son,” Mother said dryly. “Be honest with yourself, even if you cannot be fully honest with me.”
“I suppose that is hard when I know there is no hope,” James said. “I imposed upon her in a way I can never fully forgive myself. I am quite certain she never will. That is a difficult poison to swallow.”
“How awful it is that my objections stemmed from wishing you to be happy with someone you loved.” Mother’s smile was infinitely sad. “In the end, you fell in love with her anyway, and now you are more unhappy than before.”
You fell in love with her. He had, though he’d not before fully admitted it. He loved her, and she most likely hated him for what he’d done.
“Please do not fret over me,” James said. “I am making the best of my situation. And I have not forgotten the difficulty with tonight’s venison. I mean to suggest Cook make fish, as I know you like fish very much, and it should not be difficult to obtain.”
She reached up and touched his face. “You always were such a wonderful, thoughtful boy. Growing up has not changed that.”
His attempt at a change of topic had not worked. “I have not felt very wonderful or thoughtful of late. What gentleman could, knowing he had so poorly treated a lady he cared so much for?”
She held her arms open to him. Like the little boy he’d once been, he accepted her embrace gladly and with such need. He felt lost and alone and, in that moment, needed his mother.
“I love you, my dear James. And I have never lost faith in you.”
Now, if only he could find reason to have faith in himself.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
James stood, hat in hand, in the entryway of Falstone House while the butler delivered his card to the Dangerous Duke. If ever a person had embarked on a fool’s errand, he had. But this was something he could not leave undone.
The butler reappeared. “His Grace says you may join him in his book room, but he advises you not to.”
Most any gentleman would take that warning and flee with all possible haste. James, however, had made his choice long before arriving here. The duke’s temper was infamous, and James had to be absolutely certain Daphne had borne no blame for what he had done.
“I will join His Grace in the book room, thank you.”
The butler’s seemingly unbreakable mask of dignified professionalism slipped. “Truly?” he sputtered before recovering himself. “Very well, my lord.” He turned and led the way up the stairs toward the first floor, no doubt still looking a touch shocked.
At the door to the book room, James paused long enough to firm his resolve. If His Grace’s reputation was at all based in fact, James might find himself in need of assistance to simply leave the house.
The door to the book room stood slightly ajar. Pushing it open and stepping inside, the butler announced, “Lord Tilburn, Your Grace,” in a voice entirely devoid of his earlier astonishment.
James stepped inside only to be met by the Duke of Kielder’s glare as he stood not ten feet from the doorway.
“Only a fool would have come up after being warned not to,” the duke said.
James nodded his understanding. “I believe that is one of the more accurate evaluations of myself I have heard lately.”
An unfamiliar voice chimed in. “Methinks the fool speaks in riddles.”
A single glance identified the third occupant of the room. He wore the uniform of the Royal Navy. His green eyes and golden curls immediately connected him to the youngest Lancaster sister.
“Linus,” the Duke said, “you see before you the very definition of an imbecile.”
“Ah.”
“Tilburn, this is Lieutenant Lancaster.”
James managed a creditable bow despite his growing apprehension. Confronting Daphne’s violent-tempered guardian had been an intimidating enough prospect. Having her older brother present, he who had spent half his life training for battle, only made the situation worse. “I am pleased to meet you,” he said.
“Odd,” Lieutenant Lancaster replied. “I am not at all pleased to meet you.”
“I deserve that.”
The lieutenant’s expression remained thoroughly displeased. “Oh, you deserve far more than that.”
James nodded. “Agreed.”
The duke seemed to abruptly lose patience with the exchange. He made his way to one side of the room and sat behind a large desk.
James turned to watch him, only then getting a good look at the desk where the duke now sat. The entire surface was covered with weaponry. Several dueling pistols rested beside a hunting rifle. Who brings a hunting rifle to London? A good portion of the desktop housed swords of varying lengths, and a particularly dangerous-looking dagger sat nearest the duke’s right hand.
His gaze met the duke’s. Never before had a single look chilled James to his very core. “In light of the fact that there are ladies present in the house, I opted to leave the more menacing weapons out of sight,” the duke said. “Though several are still within reach.”
James had a feeling he did not want to know what or where the hidden weapons were. “Yes, Your Grace.” James’s eyes swept the arsenal once more before shifting of their own accord to the lieutenant standing at the duke’s shoulder, his hand resting ominously on the hilt of his uniform sword.
The duke picked up the dagger, casually spinning it about in his hand. “I assume you have come to plead your case. I suggest you do so quickly—that is my least favorite part of these encounters.”
“His mos
t favorite part involves the weaponry,” the lieutenant said. “All of it.”
He detected not an ounce of bravado in the declaration. “I have not come intent on defending myself, Your Grace. If I had only my own interests at heart, I would have fled to Lancashire or the Americas or someplace farther still.”
“A much safer distance,” the duke said, still handling the dagger with an alarming degree of finesse. “I did, after all, promise that if you hurt my Daphne, I would remove your vital organs with a blunt instrument.”
James swallowed back a lump of apprehension. “I came because I have been concerned about Miss Lancaster.”
“No doubt an oddly unfamiliar sensation,” Lieutenant Lancaster observed dryly.
James had anticipated making his statement, enduring some kind of painful punishment, then limping away. The tongue lashing came as a surprise.
Perhaps a fast and detailed recounting of the truth of all that had occurred was best. The duke could not possibly think Miss Lancaster complicit if he knew the whole of it. That was James’s first priority. “When my father first told me of your suggestion that I court your sister-in-law, I will admit I was hesitant. However—”
“I would never make such a harebrained suggestion.” The duke’s interruption was more growled than spoken.
For a moment, those words did not sort themselves into any degree of sense. “Shortly before Miss Lancaster’s first at-home,” James reminded him. “My father told me you approached him suggesting that I court your sister-in-law, beginning with calling on her.”
“Calling on her was all I suggested.”
Could that be true? Had Father lied? James’s heart sank to his stomach. Of course Father had lied. He had done little but lie. “Calling on her was all I agreed to at first, along with offering a friendly greeting should I see her at balls or soirees.”
The duke and lieutenant appeared wholly unimpressed with his original adherence to gentlemanly behavior.
“Under the influence of my father’s threats and machinations, I allowed myself to be manipulated into pursuing a match with Miss Lancaster and did so by giving the impression of an eager and willing suitor and purporting a deeper affection than I felt.”
Romancing Daphne Page 21
