“I’ve wanted to kill him, at the least, a dozen different ways and I don’t think I’m a horrible person.”
She gave him a quick kiss. “You’re definitely not horrible. Death is too easy for a man like Christian.” She kissed him again. “I have to say though, I had no idea you were so vindictive.”
“I’m normally not.” Still cupping the back of her head, he drew her closer. His warm breath fanned across her lips, his scent embraced her and brought a rush of familiar memories. “But he went after the wrong woman.”
The heat in his eyes, along with what his words implied, warmed her cheeks. He’d made it clear he wanted them to be together again, yet she still worried about the repercussions once her involvement went public. “I’m worried about you. I think I should hold off on coming to Chicago.”
His eyes darkened and became possessive as he ran a hand along her side. “Still trying to protect me?” he asked and gripped her hip.
Always. She loved Jake so much, she’d never forgive herself if her association to the bombings and Christian’s trial affected him negatively. They lived in a world where information technology and social media left little in the way of privacy. The bombings, the billionaire behind them and the woman he did it for would be too huge of a story to ignore. Once leaked, her picture would go viral and Jake’s likely would, too. There would probably be people who sympathized with her, while others would make her the target for their blame. People liked having answers, especially if the question was so unfathomable.
“I’m not going to apologize for wanting you to remain detached from anything having to do with me and Christian.”
“Do you really think I could remain detached from you? If you told me you didn’t want me in your life, I wouldn’t like it. But I’d respect your wishes and leave you alone.” He moved his hand from her hip to her rear. “Did I mention I wouldn’t like it?” he asked, pressing her against his pelvis.
“Twice now,” she said, breathless. With his hard, muscular body, firm kissable lips and skilled hands, Jake always had a way of making her come alive no matter the circumstances.
“Actually, I’d hate it if you asked me to walk away. I’d hate myself even more if I didn’t fight for what we have. With the way you’re talking, it sounds like I’m going to have to do just that.”
Now cupping her bottom with both hands, he moved her backward until they reached her bed. He eased her onto the mattress. After sliding one leg between her thighs and resting his knee on the edge of the bed, he braced his arms on either side of her shoulders.
“It’s time we talk this out and settle everything between us,” he said, inching closer.
With his lean body hovering over hers and anticipation coiling through her belly, she had a hard time remembering what they needed to talk about.
“When I first saw you sitting near the beach wearing that pretty white dress, your long hair moving with the breeze coming off the Gulf, I needed to know you. I’m not going to lie. I was very interested in what was under that dress. But when you smiled at me…” He shook his head and grinned. “I knew you were it for me.”
She touched his cheek. “I felt the same way.”
He inched up until his thigh nestled against her sex. “When you left, it was the worse day of my life. I’d rather be in full battle rattle in the thick of fighting Iraqi insurgents than go through that again.” He brushed a tear sliding down the side of her face and kissed her forehead. “I couldn’t eat or sleep. I drank too much and was a bastard to anyone who made the mistake of trying to talk to me.”
Keeping his thigh pressed against her heat, he sat back and slipped his warm, rough hand beneath her shirt. Goose bumps rose along her skin. Not only from his touch, but from his words. She knew she’d hurt him, but not to this extent. For him to compare wearing fifty pounds worth of gear and risking his life in battle to her leaving? She looked away. When will there be a day she would no longer carry an ounce of guilt?
He touched her chin. When she met his gaze, he moved his hand over her breast and to her stomach, where he continued to caress her. “I was bitter and pissed. Not with you, but me. I’d accepted that our relationship was over without fight.”
“That’s not true. You asked me, but I—”
“Lied?” He shrugged. “Your lie was weak. I knew it then, but I let my pride get in the way. I’ll be honest, if Ian hadn’t forced me out of my job as sheriff, I would’ve probably run for another term and would still be stuck in Michigan, kicking myself in the ass for not demanding more from you and myself.” Starting from the bottom and slowly working his way up, he began unbuttoning her shirt. “You told me you couldn’t handle living in a small town, but didn’t want a long distance relationship. You know what I heard?” He let either side of her blouse fall to the side and exposed her bra and stomach. “I don’t love you anymore. That’s what I took away from your excuse and I kept telling myself that had to be the reason. And I kept telling myself that over and over, hoping to drill it into my thick skull. Hoping like hell I’d get over it and you.”
Her eyes stung with more tears, with regret and a sudden rise of anger. Why was he telling her this now? Every stroke of his hands belied every word that he spoke and she couldn’t take anymore. “You came to me. Uninvited. Apparently your skull is still thick,” she said, and shoved his hand away.
He gripped her wrists and held them above her head with one hand. “Because I couldn’t let go of the past, I did come to you.” With the pad of his thumb he wiped away more of her tears. “No more of these. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“Then why are you telling me this?”
“Because I’m an idiot.”
“There’s something we can agree on.”
A strange mixture of amusement and sadness filled his eyes. “I should have fought for you. Instead of accepting your excuses, which I knew in my gut were just that, I should have demanded answers and fought for what we had. Right now, you’re giving me more excuses. I get them, but I don’t like them. Knowing the real reason why you left—it bugged the hell out of me that you felt like I needed protection.”
Past tense. “Are you saying it doesn’t bother you anymore?”
“No.” He wrapped her leg around his back and brought his face inches from hers. “I’m a guy. It’s been ingrained in my head that I’m the one who should be doing the protecting. But I like knowing you have my back. Now I need for you to realize I have yours. I love you. You. Rose…Naomi, I don’t care if you start calling yourself Brunhilde. None of that matters to me, but losing you a second time around because you’re worried about me, does. I don’t want to walk away again. I want to be by your side and get through this together.” He let go of her wrists and kissed her cheek where a warm tear began to trickle. “I thought I said no more of these.”
Cupping his face, she twined both legs around his back. She had no regrets walking away from him the first time around—his life was too important to her. Based on what Christian had done to draw her to him, not to mention what he’d done to her family, she honestly believed Jake wouldn’t be on top of her right now if Christian had known about him. He’d be dead. But Christian couldn’t physically hurt him now. After spending so many years on her own, she’d love to have Jake by her side while she dealt with the media and trial. She loved him and wanted to move past this phase in their lives and start again. “You’re sure about this? I’m so worried about the way people will treat you when they know you’re with me.”
“Have you ever known me to care what people think?”
God, she loved this man. “No. That’s one thing I’ve always admired about you.” She arched up and gave him a lingering kiss. “I love you, Jake. I’m sorry I hurt you. But I’m glad you didn’t fight for me then, because I might not be with you right now.”
His jaw hardened beneath her palms. “He would have had a hell of a time killing me. Now he won’t be able to do anything but count down the days until his life ends.” He
smoothed her hair away from her face, then lifted up, drew his t-shirt over his head and tossed it aside. “I don’t want to talk about him anymore. Too many years have already been wasted because of him.”
“You’re absolutely right,” she said, reaching for his belt buckle. As she unfastened his belt, then jeans, he slid her yoga pants over her hips.
“No underwear,” he said staring at her exposed sex.
“No panty lines.” She shoved his jeans down and reached for his arousal. “Brunhilde, huh?” she asked, grinning. “Not the sexiest name.”
“You can make anything sexy.” He twined his hand through her hair and sucked in a breath when she stroked him. “For the record, I honestly didn’t come into your room for this,” he said, holding her head steady and stopping her from taking his length into her mouth.
She continued to stroke him and massaged his testicles. “So climbing on top of me and unbuttoning my shirt was an accident?”
“Something like that.”
“And you want me to stop what I’m doing?”
“God, no.”
She ran her fingers along his hard abs. “Then why are we doing all of this talking?”
He touched her chin and tilted her head. “Because I don’t want to come off like I’m insensitive to what you need. You’ve been through a lot. Sex might always be on my mind but maybe you need—”
“You. That’s all I need and all I’ve ever wanted.” She went back to stroking and massaging him. “And right now, I need to taste you.”
His eyes grew impossibly dark and hungry. The moment he loosened his hold on her head, she bent and took him in her mouth. He dragged in a ragged breath and ran his hand along her back. With his other hand still wrapped in her hair, he coaxed her, gently easing her and gliding her over his length.
He was holding back. Sex between them had never been gentle, but rough and hot. Rather than treating her as if she were fragile, she wanted rough and hot. Today started a new beginning and she wanted celebrate by losing herself in his body. Now it was time for her to let him know.
She grazed her nails along his sac. His knees buckled slightly and he let out a low moan. Encouraged, she sucked and licked him as if she was starved. As she slid her mouth along him, he began to thrust. Slow at first, then he held her head with both hands and moved harder, faster. She looked up at him. Loving the passion in his eyes, she hummed her approval, then tore her mouth away. Still stroking him, and anxious to have him inside her, she scooted back a few inches and spread her legs.
Instead of letting her guide him between her outstretched thighs, he took her wrists and pinned them above her head again. “I told you I was trying not to be insensitive,” he said, and flicked his tongue against her nipple. “I’m also trying to make this about you.”
She arched her back hoping to encourage him to give her other breast attention. “Stop worrying and let’s make this about us.” She met his gaze. “I know what you like, and you know I like it, too.”
The heat in his eyes had her sex aching for him—his mouth, his fingers, his stiff length. Keeping her arms above her head with one hand, he moved the other to her breast. Her nipples grew painfully hard when he brushed his lips along one rigid peak. “Damn, I love you,” he said against her breast, while skimming his hand along her torso. When he reached her sex, he rubbed her clit with the tips of his fingers. “I want to make love to you, not fuck.”
“If we love each other, does it matter what we call it?” She struggled against the grip he had at her wrists. She wanted to free herself so she could take his hand and show him exactly what she wanted. “Besides, with all the talking, we’re not doing much of anything.”
A sexy smile curved his mouth. “Let’s rectify that.” He drove his fingers deep inside her and pumped them in and out. Never losing contact, he let go of her wrists and moved to the edge of the bed. “I do know what you like,” he said right before grazing his tongue along her clit.
She groaned, ran both hands through his hair and held his head steady. With each flick of his tongue, and each press of his fingers, her core coiled tighter and tighter. She looked down the length of her body. When she met his heated gaze, caught the love and lust in his eyes, then glanced to where he pleasured her with his mouth, something inside her snapped. Her breath caught on a moan as her orgasm swiftly rushed from within her sex and tore through her body. Tensing, still holding his head in place, she embraced the ecstasy, the pure sensual and emotional bliss. She loved Jake so much. Loved every level of their relationship and didn’t want the moment to end.
When he stood, gripped the back of her thighs and glided his straining erection inside her, she couldn’t imagine ever letting him go again. She couldn’t picture not being with him. Not sharing their passionate desires. Not being held by him late into the night. The hot kisses. The playful teasing. More than that, the deep conversations, the comfort of knowing what they had together was unbreakable. A bond like no other and one she’d fight for until the day she died.
Breathing hard, his eyes intense and fierce with love and desire, he leaned forward. Caging her with his arms, he moved his hips harder, faster. When she wrapped her legs around his back, he grasped her hip, dipped his head and captured her mouth. His demanding, rough open-mouthed kiss sent a cascade of goose bumps along her skin. She met each stroke of his tongue, each thrust of his hips. Ran one hand over his muscled ass and the other along his chiseled bicep.
On a groan, he tore his mouth away and rested his forehead against hers. His warm breath puffed along her mouth. “I love you,” he murmured and kissed her temple. “Stay with me.”
“Always.”
He lifted his head and kept his eyes on hers as he continued to drive himself deep. “Come with me.”
Her inner walls gripped his length. Her body burned with unadulterated pleasure.
He moved faster, each rock of his hips stronger. Her orgasm suddenly ripped through her. As her legs went limp and fell to the side, she clung to his rear and bicep, closed her eyes and arched her back. His muscles tensed beneath her hands. Wanting to share in the pleasure of his release, she forced her eyes open and stared at his handsome face. Only his gaze was on her and held so much love and dark longing, tears stung her eyes.
She cupped his face and brought their lips together. Poured her own love and longing into a kiss that would forever remain in her memory. This moment marked a new beginning between them. Her past or his—no longer mattered. And she couldn’t wait for their future to begin.
After a long, lingering kiss, he moved their bodies until they lay on the center of the bed. He pulled the sheet and comforter over them, then cocooned her against his chest. His heart beat along her cheek, while his breathing began to return to normal. Loving the hard contours, she feathered her fingers through the dark dusting of hair, then rested her palm on his solid chest.
“So, Brunhilde,” he began, squeezing her closer and kissing the top of her head. “I know we were multitasking a few minutes ago, but if I recall correctly, you said always when I asked you to stay with me.”
She grinned against his pectoral muscle and gave his chest hair a slight tug. “I would’ve said anything at that moment.”
He let out a chuckle and she shifted her head to look at him. Grinning, he ran his fingertips along her cheek. “I want to be with you,” he said, his grin fading, his eyes filled with a mixture of determination and uncertainty.
She never wanted him to ever be uncertain about anything when it came to them. She loved him. Trusted him. Wanted to be with him.
Always.
“I want to be with you, too,” she said, caressing his chest. He knew everything about her past, had endured and accepted why she’d lied to him, and he still loved her. If they were going to begin anew, there was still one last thing she needed to tell him. While she doubted her secret would change how he felt about her, if they were going to make a fresh start, they’d do it the right way. No more secrets.
�
��Then you’ll come to Chicago?” he asked, hopeful.
She nodded. “For a while. I’ll have to tell my principal what’s happened. I’m not sure if the school will want me to stay on, but I’m not comfortable leaving them high and dry without a nurse.”
“And from there?” he asked, drawing circles along her upper arms with his fingers.
“I’ve always loved Chicago.”
“That’s good, because I happen to live there.”
She forced a smile, while her stomach knotted with nervousness. “There’s still something else.”
“If you’re worried about finding a job, take your time. Ian pays me well, so you don’t have to rush into anything.”
“It’s not that.”
His face hardened. “I told you I don’t want to talk about him.”
She had no choice, not if she were going to do this right the second time around. “I have to tell you this,” she said, shifting her body until they were chest to breast. “I…on the jet to Norfolk, I told you I couldn’t have children.”
“And I told you what matters to me is being with you, not the kids you could give me. That’s not why I fell in love with you.”
Damn, could he make this any harder? “I remember. And you have no idea how much that meant to me. When we were together and used to talk about having a family, I would picture a houseful of kids, little dark haired, dark eyed boys that were the spitting image of you.”
“And beautiful little bossy girls that were the spitting image of their mother,” he said with a sad smile.
“Yeah,” she said, blinking back tears. God, how she’d wanted that life. Only he had taken it away. “When I got the result from my doctor and found out that wasn’t a possibility, I was devastated. I worried how you’d react—”
“Hey.” He rubbed her shoulder. “I told you it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. If I couldn’t have children because my body wasn’t made right, that would have been one thing.” She kissed his chest, looking for the strength to admit the truth. When she lifted her head and met his eyes, she found it.
Ultimate Kill (Book 1 Ultimate CORE Trilogy) (CORE Series) Page 30
