The older woman didn’t get angry. She didn’t scream or yell. She didn’t narrow her eyes. The Witch, the Crone, Livina, took a very deep breath and whispered hoarsely, “We’ve known since the beginning how to end our punishment. I’m staring at it.”
My mouth fell open, but in between the tremble that took me and the questions that rattled in my mind—no words came out. I stumbled back.
When she had first appeared, there was a mischievous glint in her eye, but after her tale that glint was long gone. Only a bitter resentment, weary resignation, and staunch resolution remained. And perhaps, more than a little guilt.
But tears didn’t glisten in her eyes when she said, “I’m sorry.”
And before I could respond, she lifted her staff and brought it down onto the cold, hard dirt.
A bright blue light flared from the orb, blinding me temporarily. I blinked once, and she was gone. Every person in the paranormal market was a witness to the power this old woman yielded, but as I looked around—befuddled, pissed off, and without the answers I needed—I realized I was the only one who knew it.
Chapter 33
Deeds that should have never been done weighed on my chest like an anchor did a ship.
Secrets that were now my burden to bear.
Lies that were now mine to tell.
I came back to this world swearing that things would be different. That I would be different. But stepping into the elevator after their fights that night, I didn’t know how I was going to tell them the truth.
But I had to. I had to find a way.
The elevator pinged before the doors slid open to reveal the still quiet and sleepy Shifter residence. Through the arched windowpanes of glass, a steady stream of low light illuminated the third floor of the residence. Dawn. It was already a new day.
I said my goodbyes to everyone and walked back to my room with the sound of footsteps and Aaron’s heartbeat following me. He sighed deeply, catching the living room door as it started to swing shut behind me.
“I know you’re angry I didn’t tell you.”
Were we going to do this tonight? Have this conversation? I wasn’t so sure I wanted that anymore. Not when I could barely think, let alone process everything the Crone told me. I shrugged, unzipping my leather jacket and tossing it over the back of the couch.
“I’m sure you had your reasons.”
I kneeled down to undo the strings on my boots, peeling off my socks in the process. The hardwood floors were cold as stone against my bare feet. I walked around the loveseat to stand before the fireplace.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I squatted down and reached into the fireplace with my bare hands to rearrange the logs. Hot embers flared, tickling my skin with their heat. I savored the warmth of the flame. Hoping it would keep the cold cruelty I was so accustomed to from creeping in and ruining everything.
“Nothing.” I shrugged again. “It means exactly what I said. I’m sure you had your reasons.”
“Really, Selena?” Aaron asked as his harsh voice cracked at my shields. “Are we really back to this bullshit?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said slowly, withdrawing my hands from the flame.
I didn’t hear him move. I didn’t sense the shift in matter soon enough.
But the scents of smoke and an untamed wind never lied.
Aaron carried an err of caution everywhere he went. A warning that very few could sense. He was not all that he seemed, but something more. Yes, he was the Shifter Heir. He was an Alpha and a Supernatural. But he was also my signasti.
And the signasti of a matter manipulator, as I was coming to learn, was not someone you should underestimate.
Not even if you were that matter manipulator.
“Don’t lie to me,” he snapped. “You were pissed off when you found out about me going down to the black market without you. Be angry. Yell at me. Curse. Whatever. But don’t go back to this.”
I should have known that out of everything I could have said or done, it was the nonchalance that would bother him most. He could probably hear the indifference in my voice as easily as I heard the barely contained fury behind his.
“What do you want me to say, Aaron?” I stood up and turned to face him, expecting him to be a few feet away and not inches from my face. The lines of his jaw were drawn. Hard.
“I don’t care,” he murmured. “I just want you to say something real because I’ve been worried out of my mind for the last four hours that I screwed up the progress we’ve made.” He paused, swallowing hard. “That I’ve lost you again.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that. To tell him that yes, I was pissed, but I get it. I get it more than anyone. How hard it is to tell the people you care about that sometimes you feel a little crazy. Sometimes you need to do bad things for good reasons.
And sometimes…there was no easy way to tell the truth. So, you don’t. You lie by omission and pray they never find out how truly twisted and dark your heart is.
I didn’t know how to say those words.
But maybe I didn’t need to.
Without overthinking it or what it meant, I leaned forward and closed the distance between us. Aaron froze when my lips first brushed his, but I didn’t pull away. Slowly, achingly slow, I reached out and placed my hands on either side of his face, deliberately twining my fingers in his hair. I tugged sharply, pulling him closer.
And after the months of tension and build up, something snapped.
Aaron let out a masculine growl, full of longing, possession, and something wild. I clung to that. Clung to him, kissing him harder. His lips parted in invitation as he grasped my hips and picked me up.
I wrapped my legs around his waist, locking my feet behind him. He groaned in approval, his tongue sweeping forward to taste mine. I welcomed it. Hell, I embraced it. I encouraged it. I wanted it—wanted this. He’d stood by me when I despised him, hated him, tried to kill him, and rejected him. He defended me when no one else in their mind would.
He…loved me when I didn’t know how to love myself.
How could I possibly not want him?
Even if he drove me absolutely crazy—and he did—quite often.
A doorway lined in gold appeared before me, and this time, I did not shy away.
Not when my back hit the bed or when I pulled Aaron onto it with me.
Not when I flipped our positions so that I was straddling him.
Not when he kissed me so thoroughly that my head spun.
I clung to him as the doorway loomed in my mind, beckoning me closer with every brush of skin. Every taste of ecstasy. Every touch that made my heart pound and my core throb.
Gods above, I wanted him.
Arching my back to draw myself up, my fingers skated down my sides to grasp the hem of my shirt. Aaron’s smoldering gaze watched every movement with an unreadable expression. His hand reach out to hold mine and stop me.
“What are you doing?” I breathed, cocking my head.
“Making sure you know what you’re doing before any clothes come off,” he answered, husky and seductive. I leaned forward, resting my forearm just above his shoulder as I ground into him. The air hissed between his teeth as he inhaled sharply. “Selena…”
“The claiming,” I replied breathlessly. “What does it entail?”
For a second, he stopped breathing and only stared.
And when he lifted his free hand to my hip to grab hold of me, there was a resolution in him. He flipped our positions again, using his strength to hold me underneath him because his weight wasn’t enough. I smirked as he ground into me in return, tempting me in the most delicious of punishments for teasing him.
“Aaron,” I moaned. It was a sound that no one had ever been able to bring from my lips. No one but him. He lifted a finger to silence me and trace my bottom lip’s outline simultaneously.
“Ash,” he corrected. “Call me Ash, please.”
“Ash,” I whisp
ered. He nodded, staring at me like I was the sun and the moon and everything in between.
“If you’re seriously considering this, then I want to do it right. I’ve been waiting too long to want it any other way,” he whispered. Using his free arm, he ran his hand down my side and up the curvature of my leg wrapped around his waist—pulling me taut against him.
“Then tell me,” I pushed. “Tell me what will happen if I claim you.” The words were a plea and a growl, warped by my own frustration at wanting more than the bits he was giving me.
“If we take each other this way, it will complete the bond.” He lowered his head to the crook in my neck, brushing his lips against my pulse. “You will be my partner, my equal…” he paused to bite me softly and I gasped. “My mate.”
“Is that what you want?” I asked him. Aaron—Ash, lifted his head to look me in the eyes.
“Of course,” he whispered without hesitation. My heart stuttered, unable to hold the emotion overwhelming it. “I don’t just want to be your signasti. That’s not enough for me. I want to be your best friend, your boyfriend, your lover, and your mate. I want to be everything that you will let me be.”
That lingering ember inside my cold, lonely heart drifted in the scent of wind and smoke—catching fire. Could I hope? Did I dare?
“I want to love you every day for the rest of our lives, no matter how far apart this war may carry us. And I want you to know that even if every single person you have ever known fails you—I won’t. I want to give you everything I have to offer,” he said, and I knew what was coming next. “But the real question is, will you let me? Do you want that too?”
My chest was a blazing inferno, waiting to unleash hell and havoc on this world.
But in that moment, I believed that if it did, he would stay and burn with me.
He wouldn’t leave me like others had before him.
And he wouldn’t force me to stay.
Somehow, Ash knew just how much to give and how much to take. In some ways, it was like he was made for me.
An ebony doorway loomed in front of me with golden light spewing from the edge around it.
I grasped the handle, shivering against the flash of warmth that rolled through me.
Our combined future sat on the precipice of my answer.
“Yes,” I whispered. “I want everything. All of it.”
Ash’s lips crashed into mine as he rocked my body back and forth, one hand still gripping my thigh and the other kneading into my hair. I wrapped my arms around his neck, unable to stop myself from grabbing fistfuls of his shirt. My heart pounded as the door began shaking. At first, it was only a tremor.
But it grew to a quake.
And as the metaphorical door shook in my mind, my grip tightened. I tore his shirt off him, trying to hold in the power I could feel building inside of me.
“Ash,” I groaned, breaking our kiss. While his slow sensual teasing heated me to my core, I didn’t know how much I could take before an accident happened.
“Shhh…” he whispered, trailing his lips along my jaw. Patience wasn’t my forte. I raked my nails along his back, letting him feel my need for him. He cursed and groaned under his breath, pressing into me harder.
“You’re driving me crazy,” I murmured as he moved his hands to the hem of my shirt. His fingertips brushed my skin just beneath the fabric and my breath hitched. He chuckled.
“Now you know how I feel,” he quipped, tugging at the shirt. I arched my back off the bed for him to lift it over my head. He flung it aside, proceeding to kiss a path straight down my chest. “That’s better,” he whispered between my breasts. I angled my hips and he obliged by dipping his fingers into the waistband and his thumb flicked over the button of my jeans.
“You’re sure about this?” he asked again, pulling back to slowly unzip my pants.
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. He nodded, completely and utterly sure of himself as he started to peel my jeans away from my legs. I only wore plain cotton underwear and a bra, but he looked at me like it was the sexiest thing in the world.
I sat up, leaning back on my hands as I arched an eyebrow at him. “Your turn.”
He grinned, sliding off the bed to remove his jeans and boxer briefs in the same fluid motion, and then produced a foil packet from the drawer in the nightstand.
“How long have those been in there?” I asked, more curious than anything. He stalked towards me, his eyes smoldering.
“Since we started sleeping in the same room.”
Well then…
Ash climbed on the bed and came to rest between my legs. With me sitting at an angle and him on his knees with a hand on the bed to either side of me, it was an oddly intimate position. Odd in that I didn’t feel the need to run.
I reached up with one hand and grabbed him by the back of the neck, pulling him forward so I could kiss him. My body was a live wire and only his touch would ground it and shatter me wholly.
Ash groaned, pulling me to him and rolling simultaneously so that he was on his back while I straddled his torso. With him completely naked beneath me, I felt like I was wearing too many clothes.
I reached around myself and unhooked my bra with a sweep of my thumb. The straps fell limp from my shoulders, hanging in the crooks of my elbows. I pulled one arm out and it slid free off the other, falling to the floor.
“You’re perfect,” he whispered as I leaned forward and captured his bottom lip between my teeth.
“Don’t go getting sappy on me now,” I growled.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He chuckled, slipping his thumbs into the waistband of my panties. I shuddered at the hardness of him beneath me. I rocked back and forth twice before his patience finally exhausted itself and he tore the thin piece of fabric right off me.
I was so worked up I didn’t complain and instead held out my hand for the foil packet. He passed it silently. I ripped the top open with my teeth and pulled out the condom, frowning when it didn’t slip right on the first time and it occurred to me that I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.
“Let me,” he said. I handed it to him, ignoring the sly grin on his face. He pinched the tip and rolled it on smoothly. Then his hands dropped to the side as he let me make the final move.
I inched forward on his lap, wrapping my hand around his rigid length to hold him at my entrance. My body was shaking hard with need and desire, the pent-up frustration making his entrance slick and painless. My lips parted in an ‘O’ at the fullness of having him inside me.
He groaned, lifting his own shaking hands to my hips as he guided me up and down at a steady but relentless pace. I moaned deeply, losing control of my limbs as the tension built. The doorway in my mind was only seconds from blowing open if I didn’t open it myself.
When my shaking became too violent, Ash rolled without missing a beat. He alternated between hard and fast, and slow, sensual teasing—somehow knowing when I was approaching the brink, and how to keep me from going over the edge. I ground my heels into the bed on either side of him, fighting against the pressure that was building inside of me. It was too much, too soon. It gathered so fast I didn’t know how to diffuse it, but I couldn’t stop.
I wouldn’t stop.
The last thing I saw before I turned the handle with Ash’s face.
And then my world shattered.
Golden light filled every corner of my vision as my very soul itself reached blindly into the void beyond the door—reaching for Ash. His soul was ready and waiting. It brushed against mine, just a single touch and everything clicked into place.
I didn’t know where he started and I stopped. His emotions were mine. Mine were his. We’d all but lost our form as the bond settled into place.
It was the flicker of pain laced with pleasure in my periphery that drew me back.
I cracked an eyelid open, vaguely aware that he was still inside of me and that pain, whatever it was, was already fading.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know
whether that bite would happen or not,” Ash murmured against my neck. I blinked my eyes, trying to think past how great I felt.
“What are you talking about?”
He lifted his head just enough I could see his lips. Was that blood?
“Did you bite me?” I deadpanned, no screaming or cursing. It would explain the brief pain. Ash grinned sheepishly, reaching a hand around to scratch the back of his head.
“Technically it’s called marking,” he said. “When a Shifter claims a mate, some of us have urges to ‘mark’ them. There’s not a lot of choice involved on my part…” Ash pulled away from me and strut towards the bathroom. I noticed then the way every dresser drawer and fixture hung at odd angles. Clothes littered the floor. Three different lamps shattered.
“Did I do all of this?” I asked, brushing a hand against the tender flesh at my neck. It was already healing. There were some perks to being part demon. Being a matter manipulator? Less so, I was coming to find out. I still hadn’t told him about the Crone.
Later, I told myself. I’ll tell him later.
“I can only assume so. Considering how powerful we both are, I think this is pretty minimal damage.” He appeared in the doorway of the bathroom donning a pair of loose fitting sweatpants.
“I suppose that’s true…” I trailed off upon seeing the thin golden thread tethering us. I swept my hand through it, but nothing happened. “I guess we’re bonded now,” I said, letting my hand fall back to my side.
“Yes.”
“It’s not what I expected…”
“What did you think it would be like?” he asked, getting back into bed.
“I don’t know. More intrusive, I guess.” I shrugged, not bothering to get dressed or cover up. Ash laid on his side, watching me closely.
“That’s because the only experience you seemed to have was when we were mentally communicating, or when you forced your presence into my mind. While those are things that we can do, and are easier now, I don’t think it will be like that most of the time. The bond is different between every couple though, so it’s hard to say for certain.”
Queen of Lies Page 22
