by ML Gardner
“It’s not a doll?” he asked, amazed.
“She’s not a doll. She’s real. Just very tiny.”
“Will you bring her home this tiny? Or will she have to grow up first?”
“She’ll stay here a while longer and I’ll stay with her. When the doctor says we can come home, we will.”
He moved his hand to touch her and stopped, his eyes darting up for permission.
“Go ahead,” Ava said with a smile. He touched the little curled fist with the tip of his finger and stroked it a few times.
“She’s so soft. What’s her name?”
“Well,” Ava said, “That’s why I wanted Jon to bring you today. So we could all decide on a name together.”
∞∞∞
Jean sat in the front seat of the old truck, stretching upward to see the road ahead over the dashboard.
“You are really going to teach me to shoot?”
“I am.”
“Is it hard?”
“Not if you know what you’re doing.”
“When can we go?”
“Well, I’m not sure. We have a lot to do before the baby comes home.”
“I want to learn before the bebe comes home.”
“Why?” Jonathan looked over at him curiously.
“She’s so little. She is the sweetest thing I have ever seen and I want to be able to protect her.” He gazed out the window. Houses passed slowly and he seemed to be inspecting each one. “In case the bad man comes back.”
“Jean, I told you, the bad man isn’t going to come back. I promise.” It was a harsh reality but he wanted to set Jean’s mind at ease. “He’s dead. He’s not coming back. Ever.”
“I missed school today.”
“I know. It’s a special occasion. I’ll write you a note.”
“I don’t want to go back.”
Jonathan glanced at him sidelong. “You have to go back, Jean.”
“I won’t.”
“Jean, you—”
“I won’t go back.” He looked up at Jonathan with a stubbornness he’d never seen before.
Jonathan let out a deep breath, thinking before speaking. The kid had been through a lot. He’d had more than his fair share of death in the past few months, and he was so protective of those he loved. There was something different about him, just in the short time since he’d laid eyes on his new sister.
“We’ll talk about it later, okay?”
Jean nodded. “Will you take me to Arianna’s?”
“Sure. I was headed there anyway to give them the good news. Do you want to sleep there tonight instead of at Maura’s?”
“Yes, please.”
∞∞∞
The pulled up to the farmhouse and Arianna flew out onto the porch.
“Is everything okay? Did she have it yet?”
Jean jumped out of the car and ran to her, jumping up into her arms.
“Go ahead and tell her, Jean!” Jonathan called ahead.
He put his small hands on her cheeks and looked into her eyes. He started speaking rapidly in French and stopped, corrected himself and dropped back into English.
“It’s a girl!” He beamed. “And she’s the tiniest thing I’ve ever seen and the sweetest, too! She has a cry like a cricket!”
“A cricket?” Arianna laughed. “Oh, that’s wonderful news, Jean! You’re a big brother!” She hugged him tightly and looked at Jonathan over his shoulder. “Ava’s alright?” she asked.
“She’s fine.”
Her face grew serious. “How small?”
“Four and a half pounds. Doctor thinks she’s doing really well, all things considered.”
Jean pulled back and grabbed her face again, demanding her attention. “Can I stay with you tonight? I want to tell you all about the bebe, and I need to practice with yours.”
“Practice?”
“Yes,” he said, growing serious himself. “I need to know how to change their diapers and bathe them and rock them to sleep. I have to know because I have a new little sister and I need to help her.”
“Don’t you think Jon and Ava can handle that?”
He shook his head as if she were clueless. “They need my help, Auntie Arianna.”
“I’m sure they do, my little man.” She smiled and lowered him to the ground. “We’ll get to work right away teaching you those things. Why don’t you run in the house and see if Ethel has a bit of cake left.”
He started up the steps and turned around. “After cake can I run up and see Aislin?”
“You can. I’ll go with you.”
“Will you pick me up in the morning so I can go see my new little sister again?” he asked Jonathan.
“I will, I promise.”
Scrambling up the steps, he called for Ethel.
“Caleb’s in the barn if you want to tell him the good news yourself.”
“In the barn?” he asked, one eyebrow cocked.
“Working.” She smiled. “He’s been sober for a whole week.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
Just then, Caleb stepped out of the barn with a wave.
“You’re an uncle again,” Jonathan yelled across the yard.
Caleb smiled and walked a little faster. “Girl or boy?”
“Girl.”
“Congratulations,” he said with a handshake. “I’m glad it all turned out alright.”
Arianna started up the steps. “I’ll leave you boys to talk. I have work to do.”
“Is lunch ready? I’m starving,” Caleb said.
“It will be when you come in.”
She disappeared into the house and Jonathan turned to Caleb. “It’s been a hell of a week,” he said.
“Isn’t that the truth.”
“Listen, I wanted to talk to you about what you mentioned to me in the waiting room when I asked you to distract me. That thing about Marvin. I couldn’t think clearly then, but now that Ava and the baby are safe, I wanted to know if you’ve figured out what’s going on.”
“Yeah. I had a talk with him. I told him I wasn’t drinking anymore and having the stuff there was too much of a temptation. I asked him to move it somewhere else.”
“What about the other stuff. Did you ask about that?
“No. Honestly, Jon, if it is property of the Sheriff’s office and going to be destroyed then everything’s on the up and up. If it’s not, and Marvin is crooked, I don’t know if I want to open that can of worms.”
Jonathan shifted his weight and crossed his arms. “Yeah, but don’t you want to know what’s really going on?”
Caleb glanced over at the house. “Would you get all confrontational with your wife and kids right here?”
Jonathan conceded with a shrug.
“Besides, trying to stay sober is a good enough reason to get him to move it. It doesn’t have to get ugly and it can just end right here.”
“When is he moving it?”
“He says he’s looking for another place now.”
“Alright. But if he starts to procrastinate—”
“Jon, I can handle it,” Caleb interrupted. “Your being preoccupied with Ava gave me a chance to think things through. I’ll deal with it.”
“Alright. If you’re sure.”
October 31st 1930
All Hallows Eve looked and felt very similar to something out of a scary book. The Indian summer had come to a sudden and abrupt end. It was a dark, overcast day and the blustery winds held an icy streak that promised winter was near.
Piles of gathered leaves in yards were blown about, scattering along the sidewalk and carried on the wind, swirling in the street.
Claire watched as the last of the leaves were torn from the trees and hoped they didn’t lose the lights. That might send Maura over the edge. She was already nervous and fitful on Halloween, being superstitious as she was. And it was the only time she voiced any displeasure at her going out to see Gordon.
“I don’t understand why he can’t come over here,” she
huffed. “I don’t like ye going out on a day like this!”
“Oh, Maura. No ghosts are going to pop up and get me.” She grinned before a hard shiver ran up her back. The smile dropped. “Besides, it’s not like I’m out there wandering alone.”
“Aye. But spirits are. Yes, they are!” she insisted, seeing the look on Claire’s face. “You don’t believe, but I’ve seen. When I was a wee girl me and my sister snuck out on All Hallows Eve, thinking our parents were full of shite. We had the life scared out of us and I knew then that it was true. Never again will I go out on this evil day!”
“You and which sister, Maura?” Katie asked slowly. Maura closed her eyes and cringed, having forgotten her mother was in the next room, and had the hearing of a hawk.
“Never you mind, Mam.”
“What happened?” Claire asked.
Maura shook her head. “Another time,” she whispered. “Just be careful, Miss Claire.”
“If you’d like, I’ll wake you when I get in and let you know I’m safe and sound.”
“She’ll be awake, you can be sure of it,” Katie called from the next room. “Likely she’ll be tellin’ me the story of her and her sister sneaking out!” She snickered under her breath and it gave Maura something other than Claire to worry about momentarily.
∞∞∞
As she stepped into his living room, she felt the heat first. The furnace was working hard and between that and the wood stove blazing, it had to be ninety degrees. There was lawn furniture in the middle of the living room, and a lot of plants.
“Why do you keep your house so hot? And why is there a picnic table in the middle of your living room?”
“It’s all part of the plan,” he said with a grin. “It’s Halloween. But you had your mind all set for Easter. Probably spent a good amount of time pushing away memories of the last few Easters, am I right?”
“Yes, actually.”
“Well, actually, it’s the fourth of July. It’s blazing hot, there is no relief and you are as far as possible from both Easter and Halloween. I have cold drinks, a barbeque in the back and potato salad in the icebox.”
She smiled. “I can’t believe you went to all this trouble.”
“Hardest part was hauling the sofa out of here by myself. But it was no trouble,” he said as he put on a record. Soon the room was filled with “O say can you see.”
She couldn’t help but laugh. His plan had worked. She was so thoroughly confused now that her mind was blank, her heart light.
She felt something brush against her leg. Kitten was circling her feet, staring up at her.
“Hi, sweetheart! Are you enjoying your new home?”
“All the land he could ever want to roam and all the cream he can drink. I’d say he likes it.”
“Gordon, he’s getting fat!” she said as she picked him up and cradled him. Kitten purred and rubbed each side of his face on hers.
“That would be the cream,” Gordon said. “He’s great company, actually. Keeps my feet warm at night.”
“Every cat’s dream. To be owned by a dairy man.” She smiled wide. Gordon simply stared, seeing her true smile for the first time. “I’m glad to see him happy.” She set him on the ground and Kitten trotted over to Gordon, pawing at his pant leg, mewing. “And spoiled,” she added.
“Are you hungry?”
“Famished,” she said. “Can I help?”
“No, just have a seat at the picnic table. I’ll be back in a minute.”
When she sat down, Kitten followed her, jumped up on the table and began bonking his head on her arm, demanding attention.
Dinner was simple; grilled hamburgers, potato salad, green salad and lemonade. They talked casually as they ate.
“You really made all this?”
“Yes. I can cook, you know. It was rough at first, but I’ve gotten the hang of it. The potato salad isn’t too spicy, is it? I don’t want you to get heart burn.”
Claire smiled. “I get heart burn from breathing air. But no, it’s not too spicy. I’m impressed, Gordon. I would have never guessed you were so good in the kitchen.”
Kitten had to be removed from the table at least a half dozen times and Claire couldn’t remember when she had been more relaxed.
When Gordon pulled out a small cake for dessert, decorated with red, white and blue icing, she pointed a finger at him.
“Now, I know you didn’t make that.”
“No, I didn’t. An older woman I deliver to made it for me.”
“Ah. Did you tell her what it was for?”
He grinned, looking down. “I might have.”
“So, the whole town knows about us now?”
“No, I wouldn’t say that. I didn’t give your name. And that old gal wouldn’t say a word anyway. I’ve talked to her a lot over the years. She was a friend of my wife’s, before she died.”
“Oh.” Claire looked down quietly.
“That’s part of it, too, Claire. At least it was for me. Seemed to help.”
“What’s part of it?”
“Bringing them up when your mind is confused. It’s Halloween, you still have bunnies on the mind and we’re eating patriotic cake.”
“You mean talking about them?”
“Or just saying their name out loud. Once.”
She appeared nervous and hesitant.
“I’ll go first. Marjorie. There. That wasn’t so hard.”
Claire took a deep breath and looking into Gordon’s eyes, said, “Aryl.” She bit her lip, waiting for tears or the familiar pain that would rip through her chest. It was a small dull stab, simply reminding her she still had a heart.
“See,” he said, reaching out and holding her hand across the table. “Everything’s fine. And it’ll get easier every time.”
She smiled, shaky at first, but it melted into sincerity. “Thank you, Gordon. For all of this. For just…being you.”
They finished their cake and Gordon offered seconds. She shook her head. “Oh, no. I couldn’t.”
“Because you’re full? Or because you’re self conscious to eat in front of me.”
“Obviously I’m not self conscious to eat in front of you, Gordon. I polished off that huge hamburger and had seconds of potato salad. I’m stuffed. I have less room for food as each day passes.” She looked down at her stomach.
“Well, maybe if he moves you can eat a bit more.” He started whistling.
“No, stop!” she yelled, laughing. “Please, don’t. He gets so active when you do that.”
Gordon sat back and smiled. “So it is a he.”
She sat quietly for a moment and looked up at him. “I think so.”
He jumped up so quickly it startled her. Switching to a new record, he turned it up loud and dashed to the closet, pulling out a bag.
“What on earth are you up to now?” she asked above the music.
He smiled with a wink and took her hand. Out in the backyard he pulled a firework out of the bag and set it on the ground. He motioned for her to move. “I’ll join you on the porch in a moment.”
She moved, he lit the fuse and ran to meet her. They watched it shoot up and explode in the night sky, reflecting against the ominous clouds that threatened rain.
“This is going to terrify your neighbors,” she said.
“Can’t have fourth of July without fireworks. And I don’t really have neighbors out here. No one will notice.”
He walked out to light another and returned to Claire just as it shot up. He slipped an arm around her waist as it exploded. She noticed, of course, but didn’t say anything. The music was fast and upbeat. As far from romantic as music could get. But as she stood watching the last of the embers burn out in the sky, shivering at the cold nip in the air, and his warm arm around her, she felt the faint veil of romance enveloping them. She missed this. She missed it so much. He ran to light another, resumed his spot next her, returned his arm, this time pulling her slightly closer. Before she could think too heavily about Aryl, the firew
ork went off. It was large and loud, shaking the windows and driving out any thought at all.
After the last sizzle and pop, he turned to her. Her heart began to beat loudly in her ears.
“I only have one more,” he said apologetically.
“Well, let’s see it,” she said, slightly relieved he didn’t move in for a kiss. She relaxed her shoulders and he did lean in, but stopped a fraction of an inch from her lips. She felt his breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them, he was walking out into the darkness to light the last firework. She pursed her lips, fighting a smile.
They watched it explode and stood together listening to the night sounds. The cows made several grunts of irritation. The cat was no where to be seen. A coyote, or a wolf, Claire wasn’t sure which, howled in the distance.
“We’d better get inside. I don’t want you to catch a chill,” Gordon said. He moved, she didn’t.
“The firsts are hard,” she said as he turned and faced her. “But, a minute ago, that didn’t feel hard. I don’t know why.” She threw her hands up in frustration. “It should have. I can’t handle carved pumpkins and Easter ham, but I could handle that. You kissing me,” she said, looking down. “In case you were wondering.”
He watched her patiently. “You probably think I’m horrible that so soon after Aryl I could even think about enjoying—”
He grabbed her and kissed her, taking her by complete surprise. She stood stiff at first but quickly relaxed. His lips were warm and soft and she let him expertly get her through this first, enjoying it more than she wanted to admit. He was a gentleman with his hands, keeping them on her face, moving them to her waist and back to her face, not quite ready to end it. Aryl drifted into her mind and she pushed the thoughts away purposefully, not wanting to let them ruin this.
He stopped gracefully, a little out of breath and smiled down on her. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he whispered.
“Not at all,” she said, keeping him close with her hands on his chest.
“Can I press my luck for another first?” Before she could answer or presume anything raucous, he stepped back and held out his hand. “A first dance?”
