For a moment it seemed as if he would join me on the couch and take me in his arms. And I would have let him, that’s the truth, I would have let him do anything he wanted.
“I should be going.” He said finally, turning towards the door.
I got up.
“See you when I get back” he said.
“See you” I whispered.
He kissed me, softly, on my cheek. I sighed and leaned closer to him. And then I couldn’t think anymore because his arms were around me and he was kissing me like he would never stop.
Nothing could have stopped me either. I felt as if my heart would burst. His hands were everywhere, setting me on fire as they drew me closer to him and making me burn with pleasure from the tips of my fingers to my toes.
I could hear blood rushing in my head, and out of my head. I could feel his heart beating under my fingers on his chest. In those moments the whole world began and ended with his lips on mine and his hands on my body.
And then he stopped.
It took me a while to realise that he was drawing away. I frowned, trying to understand what was happening.
“I should go” he said. His voice was rough.
“Yes.” I said dumbly “you should.”
He opened the door.
“I don’t think we should keep seeing each other” I said, with all the strength I could muster in my voice.
He turned to look at me, his fingers still on the door knob. He didn’t say anything, and after a few moments I had to I look away from the questioning look in his eyes.
Do I have to explain myself? I thought. Wasn’t it obvious that there was no way our ‘platonic friendship’ was going to survive this onslaught of our attraction for each other?
“I don’t think we should keep on seeing each other.” I repeated, more to myself than to him. “Obviously it’s not working.” I looked for acknowledgement in his face.
“I think you’re wrong.” He said finally. “I don’t think there is any reason why we should stop seeing each other”
How about just now? I screamed internally. Was he going to pretend that he didn’t know what was happening? What did he want? Did I have to tell him exactly what it was I was feeling? What was his problem? All the years of distrust of men that had been drummed into me by popular culture stated to resurface. I took a deep breath.
“You just kissed me, Michael!” I said heatedly. “And not as a friend” I sighed. “Maybe when you get home to your fiancée you can ask her how she feels about that!”
I closed the door on his hurt expression. I felt drained. I heard his footsteps as he walked away. I felt like running after him to tell him I was sorry, to drag him back to my flat and never let him leave again. I was so confused. Remember he’s engaged, I whispered to myself. He is engaged.
It took all of my strength not to cry myself to sleep.
6. The Fiancée
By 6am on Monday morning I was already at the office. I hadn’t slept much the night before, not with all the raging emotions Michael had left running through me. At about five in the morning I finally got tired of tossing and turning and started preparing for work.
Driving to work from Victoria Island to Lagos Island was as smooth as no man’s business. For a moment I thought of all those people on the mainland who would already be facing heavy traffic in those early hours and sighed. As Ada would say, it was all Babangida’s fault.
Fortunately, there was power at the office, I was so relieved. The power generators didn’t come on till 6.30 am, power or no power, and I hated waiting in the darkness and heat for the facility managers to put them on. Once inside, I switched on the lights and the AC’s and started arranging my desk and planning my day.
Courtesy of Ada’s hard work, the layout for the coming edition was lying on my desk, printed sometime during the weekend. Because we published every week we had to work very far ahead of time, only making room for last minute changes occasioned by important events, high profile stories and occasional gems rescued from the slush pile.
I spread the layout in front of me and started to read, making corrections with a red pen. Oliver, our youth corper cum features writer would make the corrections when he came in. He was serving with one of the state government offices, but he only ever went there once in a month for his clearance and allowance.
I used a red marker to draw arrows indicating how the pages should be rearranged and struck out some of the pictures. I read through all the articles, smiling at a humorous review I’d done on a new Chinese restaurant in V.I and the book recommendations written by Fadeke, our youngest staff who was still waiting for her call-up letter. I was still going through the pages when Ada poked her head through the door into my office at about 7.30am.
“You’ve seen the layout?” She asked without preamble.
“Hmmn mmn” I looked up at her. “I’m going through it right now,”
“Ok.” She moved into the office, today she had combed out her long natural hair and held it back with a multi-coloured hair band. It looked kind of like a backward pointing, gently swaying afro. Combined with black jeans and a black t-shirt with a big green ‘irepnaija’ logo, she looked like a theatre-arts student, or some other pseudo artistic type.
“I didn’t know we were supposed to dress up like Wole Soyinka today?” I said smiling. “I’d have worn my tie and die dashiki”
“Very funny.” She laughed planting herself on one of the other chair in my office. “So anybody with natchi hair is trying to be Wole Soyinka”. She rolled her eyes.
“Don’t mind me.” I said reassuringly. “You look great.”
“So are you okay with the layout?” She asked seriously, Ada was nothing if not extremely conscientious about her work.
“I’ve been making a few changes” I replied. She leaned in as I showed her my markups. I talked and she nodded as I explained my changes and the reasons for them.
“Can I take it now and make the changes?” She asked, hyper as usual.
I sighed. “Let me give you the first ten pages, while I finish looking at the other ones.”
She nodded. “Okay.” She said. “ PS I think Oliver might have something to add to this edition, he called me on Sunday and was saying something about adding a review of a new play at Terraculture, and something about a show he had been to on Saturday at the beach.”
“At the beach?” I asked.
“Yeah” she nodded. “Alpha beach, apparently there’s this place where up and coming artists perform to a smallish audience.”
“Okay” I said. “But it should be a very short write-up with just one picture, nobody is interested in seeing lots of pictures of performers they don’t know, it should be a small story, just enough to encourage people to stop by the next time they’re around there.”
“Aye Captain.”
I gave her a look, she smiled and picked up the sheets on my table, she turned to go, then seemed to change her mind. “So what happened on Friday?” she asked innocently.
“Hah!” I smirked. “You’ve been dying to ask that question since you came in”
“Actually I have been dying to ask all weekend.” She came back and sat on the chair she had just vacated. “And I’m sure you’re dying to tell me”
“I am.” I said nodding.
“Oya now” she prompted girlishly. “What are you waiting for?”
I sighed. “The gist get as e be o!” I said.
“How?” Ada asked.
“He is engaged” I told her.
“To somebody else?” she asked. Her voice rising.
“Er, no, to me.” I said sarcastically. “We clapped eyes on each other and he gave me the ring he has been carrying around in his pocket since he last saw me”
“Seriously, he’s engaged?” Ada said, ignoring my sarcasm. She shook her head. “Nobody ever plays the romantic part I write for them in my head”
“What did you write for him” I asked.
“That he would clap eyes
on you and give you the ring he has been carrying around in his pocket since he last saw you.” She said seriously.
I sighed. “That would have been something sha”
She nodded and we both gave a moment of silence to imagine something so romantic.
“So how did it happen?” She asked.
“I don’t know” I shook my head.
“Well he didn’t just tell you he was engaged just like that, did he?” She frowned. “Tell me everything and how you found out”
I didn’t need any more encouragement, I launched into a detailed description of everything that had happened over the weekend. It was nice that it was early and nobody else was coming to the office for another half hour, if Fadeke or Oliver had come in while we were talking to see or hear us analyzing Michael’s every word and expression and gushing like schoolgirls, I don’t know if they would ever have respected me again.
“He kissed you!” Ada exclaimed after I’d finished. “Wow!”
I nodded.
“Are you sure he’s engaged.” She asked. “Maybe he manufactured a fiancée to make you jealous.”
I shook my head at the suggestion. “Michael wouldn’t play those kinds of games” I said. “He’s not the type.”
“Do you think he just couldn’t help himself.” She continued, off on some fantastical tangent. “Like that scene in Pride and Prejudice when you know Mr. Darcy just wants to kiss Elizabeth but he has to really control himself”
I gave her a look of pure disbelief. “What have you done with the Ada I know!” I exclaimed. “Stop being so romantic” I continued. “You’re supposed to be one of the sensible ones.”
She smiled. “I know.” She sighed. “Maybe it’s my romantic time of the month.” She started to laugh, and then stopped suddenly as a new thought occurred to her. “What if he just wants to have a fling with you, you know guys are not really so trustworthy, even the best ones can sometimes have bad intentions.”
“Did you learn that from experience, or from a book.” I asked unkindly.
She ignored me. “I learnt it from other people’s experiences.” She said. “...and books.” She added with a shrug.
I sighed. “Do you think that’s possible, I mean, he’s hurt me before.”
“No he hasn’t” she said. “He never dumped you that first time, you told me he kept calling you, and trying to talk to you. It was you who refused to take his calls and talk to him. Trust me, dumping doesn’t feel like that.” She paused. “You probably overreacted to the fact that you jumped straight from friendship to sex.”
I frowned. “Do you think so?”
She gave me a look of exasperation. “Live not in the past my dear.” She sighed.” So what are you going to do? Are you going to stop seeing him totally?
“I think that’s best.” I said. If it’s ever possible, I added silently.
“But you don’t know what his relationship is like, his fiancée might be a bitch you know, maybe she makes him unhappy.”
“He doesn’t need me to tell him or rescue him if he’s in a bad relationship.” I said.
“That’s true.” She thought for a moment. “It’s kinda sad though, He obviously likes you, and you’re crazy about him. It will be a shame if it doesn’t work.”
I sighed. “He’s driving me crazy enough as it is, if I start thinking along the lines you’re proposing, I’ll just go mad or something.”
She looked sympathetic. “Don’t worry, it will work out”
“Or not.” I said dourly.
“Or not.” She agreed with a shrug. Then she laughed softly. “We’re too young to be agonizing over a man.” She said. “And I must be really pathetic to be sad over your romantic troubles….” She shook her head. “When I should be having mine.”
I was going to ask her why she would want romantic troubles when the door opened and Eddie strode in.
Eddie Bakare was my partner, we had started Living Lagos together, though I now ran it almost entirely on my own. He came into the office every once in a while, more to see me and talk than to see how the magazine was doing, he had started working for his father in oil servicing, in a company he would one day run, and from the look of him, he was doing really well.
“Hey!” I greeted, smiling as I got up to hug him, “Longest time no see”.
He hugged me back with a smile making his dimples dance around his cheeks. Eddie was the all-round lucky type of guy. Very intelligent, very good to look at, not smoulderingly hot, just more of the handsome, boy next door, with a tall athletic body and an ever ready smile. He was very friendly and good natured, and people invariably loved him, mostly girls, before and after he had broken their hearts.
“It’s you who doesn’t want to see me now.” He said in pidgin... “I’ve been right where you left me”
“Hmmn.” I scoffed, going back to sit at my desk. “What made you remember us today?”
He shrugged. “I have an early meeting somewhere at Marina today” He said. “Just decided to stop by and say ‘hey’ on my way” He stopped and looked at Ada, who was sitting frozen on her seat. “Hi Ada” he said.
I looked at her, she hadn’t said a word since he came in, and she was looking at him like she wasn’t sure what to say. “Hi” she replied finally, her voice, not quite firm. She turned back to me. “I’m going to do work on those changes now.” She said. “And I’ll ask Oliver to bring his submission to you as soon as he comes in.”
I nodded.
She picked up the sheets from my desk and started for the door without so much as a look at Eddie.
“Later.” I said.
“Later, Ada” Eddie added.
“Later.” She squeaked as she hurried out of the door,
“What’s with her?” Eddie asked as the door closed behind her.
“What with her what?” I said.
He raised an eyebrow, and then smiled. “That’s not what I was asking.” He said mischievously “but I wouldn’t mind knowing.”
I gave him a look of disapproval.
He laughed. “You’re so prim” He said. “But really why does she have to either disappear or act like a robot anytime I come into the room.”
“Maybe she doesn’t like you” I replied. Silently convinced it was the exact opposite.
“All women like me.” He said arrogantly, then ducked as I threw a paper clip at him. “And anyway” he continued. “What’s with all the black clothes and afros?”
“She likes them.” I said defensively. “Anyway, not every girl can dress to impress you, you know, and not every girl wants to”
“Unfortunately.” He agreed, smiling roguishly. “For them”
I wondered if I’d be betraying Ada if I mentioned to Eddie that I thought she liked him, but then wouldn’t I be betraying Eddie if I knew he had a chance with a girl and didn’t tell him about it. I shook my head to get rid of all the complicated rules of friendship. Plus, looking at Eddie in his designer suit and handsome skin, it was obvious that he didn’t need my help getting girls. Anyway who needed for him to break Ada’s heart and God forbid, cause her to resign, I shuddered at the thought.
“I wonder why you guys never hit it off in school though” I said thoughtfully. “She was my friend, you were my friend…” I shrugged.
“It’s the enemy of your enemy who is your friend Sophie, not the friend of your friend.” He glanced at his watch. “How are things here though?”
“Smooth sailing” I said.
“I trust” He grinned. “I have to leave now. Don’t want to be late. But, before I go…..” His grin widened “I heard you’ve been rekindling your friendship with Mike”
“How did you hear?” I exclaimed.
“You’d be surprised how information flies in this Lagos.” He laughed at the expression of alarm on my face. “Actually, Michael’s sister Cecilia was at my sister’s on Sunday and they gossiped a little.”
“Really” I tried and failed to act as if I was not interested. “What
did they say?”
“I can’t remember” Eddie said. “I wasn’t listening.”
“Eddie!” I pleaded.
“You know he’s engaged don’t you?” He asked, suddenly serious.
I nodded.
He heaved a big sigh of relief. “God knows I didn’t want to be the one to have to tell you that!” He exclaimed. “Are you okay with it?”
“Hey.” I said. “He’s just my friend.”
“Fool the others, Sophie” He said quietly. “But don’t try to fool me. I was there, I am a material witness.”
I kept silent. “What were they saying?” I asked finally.
“Just stuff.” He said, “About his fiancée, you, him, etc, etc.”
I sighed, men and their obsession with pretending not to gossip. “Tell me.” I prompted, eager to know why I would feature in a conversation about Michael and his fiancée, Too eager.
“I am almost late for my meeting” Eddie got up. He saw the look of disappointment on my face and relented. “They weren’t really saying anything, just that it was a shame Michael was engaged to Folake when he’d always liked you.”
“He’d always liked me?”
Eddie shook his head in exasperation “No! He used to follow you around school because he hated your guts.” He said sarcastically. “He kept on calling me asking to talk to you even though you refused every single time because he does that to all the girls.” He shook his head. “Anyway I resisted the impulse to tell them that you were the one who didn’t want anything to do with him.”
I stared stupidly after him as he walked to the door. When hadn’t I wanted anything to do with Michael? I thought frantically, never! I had refused to talk to him, to see him all those years ago, but it had been because I was afraid, afraid of the way I felt about him and afraid that he didn’t feel the same way about me! Not because I didn’t want anything to do with him! Being with him was still the best thing that had ever happened to me.
“You’re wrong” I said to Eddie. “I wanted everything to do with him”
“I know.” Eddie said, stopping at the door. “That’s why I don’t understand why you kept acting like you didn’t”
I shook my head, unable to find anything to say.
Always Yours (Lagos Romance Series) Page 4
