by Black, Lacey
“It is. But I don’t want him to be alone forever,” Jaime says, tears welling in her eyes. “Mom wouldn’t want that either.”
“No, she wouldn’t,” Lexi says, walking over to where I stand. We all seem to congregate at the first pew.
“It’s time,” AJ whispers, as tears blur my vision. Everyone nods their heads.
After several seconds, Grandma walks over and joins us. “If it makes you feel any better, she’s a lovely woman,” she offers with her own sad smile.
“You’ve met her?” Payton asks, wiping a stray tear from her cheek.
“Yes,” Grandma says with a warm smile. “He brought her over for dinner last week.”
“Wow, really?” Abby asks.
“Yes, really. He told Orvie and I about her a few weeks back, and I offered to cook dinner. We had an enjoyable evening. She really is a lovely woman, and I think my Trisha would have like her too. I really believe that.” I see a few tears slip from Grandma’s eyes, and I wrap an arm around her.
“He has been alone for too long,” she continues. “It’s time for him to enjoy someone who makes him feel alive again. We want him to be happy.” She glances my way when she says it, letting me know she’s also talking to me. I give her a smile, letting her know I’m working on it too.
“He has been,” Jaime says, clearing her throat. “I’m actually really excited to meet her.”
“Me too,” Abby says.
“Me three,” AJ adds.
“If she makes him happy, then I’m happy,” I reply.
“Agreed. It’s time,” Payton offers.
Lexi exhales. “It’s going to be weird, but I want him happy,” she says honestly.
“It will be, at first,” Grandma adds as she steps into the center of the circle. “This was a very big step, and don’t think he did it lightly. Deep down, he worries you’ll think he’s replacing your mother.”
“I don’t think that,” I tell her.
“None of us do,” Payton assures.
We all step forward, surrounding Grandma in the middle, and wrap our arms around one another. We form a circle of love, friendship, and support.
“He has six amazing, supportive daughters, who only want the best for him. He knows that. Your dad has put you all first since your mom got sick and passed, but now it’s his time,” Grandma says, wrapping her arms around us all.
“It is,” Payton adds. “And I can’t wait to meet her.”
“Me either.” And I didn’t realize how much I want to meet her until this moment. Until I’ve talked to my sisters, and know that my grandparents have met and like her. Now, I’m ready.
* * *
“Can I have everyone’s attention?” Sawyer says, standing in front of the room, his future wife by his side, wearing a short white dress and a big smile. I can’t help but grin at the picture of perfection they make as a couple, and in less than twenty-four hours, will make as man and wife.
“AJ and I wanted to take the opportunity to thank you all for coming this evening. Both of our families, many of which traveled quite a ways to be with us this weekend. My former teammates, who’ll be heading out early Sunday morning to catch up with the team for a Sunday night game. Her sisters who spent the day decorating the church and reception hall for tomorrow’s wedding.”
He glances down at my sister with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. “The night I met this beautiful woman was the night my life changed forever. And I’m not just talking about the fact she vomited on my shoes,” Sawyer says, making the room fill with laughter. “I was hooked on her smile, on her grace, on her sass, and her beautiful heart. I’m a better man just by knowing her and hope to be the best husband and provider for her and someday our eventual family.” He turns to face her, my sister’s eyes filling with tears. “Thank you for making me the happiest bastard on the planet tonight. Thank you for loving me and walking through this life by my side. I love you, Alison Jane,” he whispers moments before she throws herself into his arms and kisses him soundly on the lips.
The entire room erupts into applause. I clap from my seat, dropping my head onto Nick’s shoulder. He’s wearing a pair of black Dockers with a sage green button-down shirt and black tie. His sleeves are rolled up to his forearms, in that sexy way that men do. Every time I glance his way, I practically drool on my chin just taking in his gorgeous appearance tonight.
And don’t get me started on tomorrow. He’s wearing a suit, which is basically the equivalent to catnip for women.
My body is already on fire at the thought.
We just finished eating, which was a delicious surf and turf dinner. Sawyer’s family tried to take care of dinner tonight, but Sawyer wouldn’t have it. AJ told us that they paid for the rehearsal dinner at his first wedding, which is tradition, and he refused to let them foot the bill the second time around. AJ and Sawyer picked The Seaside Restaurant for tonight’s festivities, and had rented out the entire upper deck, which sports an amazing view of the Bay.
“It’s been a while since I’ve been here,” Nick says, glancing around at the lanterns hanging from the deck and the pergola-style overhang.
“Me either,” I reply, following his gaze and finding AJ and Sawyer dancing under the lights on the far end of the deck. He holds her possessively and protectively against his large frame, slipping his fingers into the long waves of her hair.
Not too far away, Dean holds Bri in his arm and wraps the other around Payton, where it comes to rest on her belly. She looks up at him and gives him a blinding smile that could probably be visible from space. Payton reaches down and links her fingers in Dean’s, covering her lower abdomen. Brielle laughs at something her dad says before dropping her hand down and placing it on top of theirs on Payton’s belly.
Lexi holds baby Stella, while Linkin has a twin in each arm. He bends down and kisses his five-week-old daughter on the top of her head before offering his lips to his wife. She smiles against his, mumbling something that’s probably dirty. He laughs, offers her a wink, and goes back to playing with Hudson and Hemi. Yet, he never leaves Lexi’s side.
Levi pulls Abby into his arms and twirls her around on the dance floor. Her laughter filters above the conversations around us as she wraps her arms around his neck, her feet lifting off the ground. Levi pulls her close and they gently sway to the beat of the song. When I see his lips moving near her ear, I know he’s singing to her. The smile on her face is her tell.
Ryan sits at the table across from us, holding baby Amelia. He has one hand on her tiny back and the other propping up her butt. She’s out – mouth hanging open and sawing logs. Jaime sits beside them, one hand on Ryan’s forearm and the other running soft circles over the top of their daughter’s head. She gazes into Ryan’s eyes, their entire world wrapped up in each other and their child.
I don’t even realize I’m crying until Nick swipes a tear from my cheek. The pad of his thumb is warm against my skin, and I find myself leaning into his touch just a little bit more.
“Come on, honey. Let’s go for a walk,” he says, standing up and offering me his hand. I take it without hesitation, and together, we head toward the beach.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Nick
The evening is about perfect. The weather, the dinner, the ambiance. It’s all setting the stage for an epic, memorable night. I can feel it in my bones.
I take her hand in mine and lead her down the stairs to the beach. Music wafts from the deck above as we walk toward the water. The wind blows her hair, making my fingers twitch to touch it. She’s wearing a dark blue dress that hits just below her knees and dips dangerously low at her chest. When she opened the door tonight, I almost swallowed my tongue. Not to mention almost begged her to follow me inside so I could make her scream three ways to Sunday.
“It’s a beautiful night,” she says, gazing out as the waves crash on the shore.
“Stunning,” I reply, though I’m not referring to the night, as much as I am the woman.
“It should be a beautiful day,” I add, keeping her hand tucked in mine.
“You’re sure you don’t mind sitting with the guys behind my dad and grandparents?” she asks.
“I’ll sit where ever you want me to sit,” I tell her, bringing her hand to my lips. “Just as long as I get to dance with you afterward.”
She stops and turns to gaze up at me. Her eyes are smiling, along with her seductive pink lips. Lips that I crave more than air itself. As the breeze gently blows her air, I take her in my arms, my lips finally meeting hers. There’s a fire within that kiss, an unbridled passion that erupts whenever she’s near. My tongue teases and tastes her, my arms feeling complete as they wrap around and draw her body near.
The kiss is almost magical. Yeah, I said it. Standing there, on the beach, with the water washing over my shoes and tickling her bare feet, I let go of everything and just…feel. Feel the wind, feel the water, feel her body, and feel her lips. And most importantly, feel the happiness and love that only she delivers. I’ve been in love before – once with a college girlfriend, and years later with Collette. But this? This is…
Magical.
Suddenly, I need to tell her. This overwhelming desire to share everything with her fills my being. It’s not just the night or the kiss. It’s the fact that I love this woman more than I’ve ever loved anyone – that I see her so completely standing by my side, much the way Sawyer referred to AJ tonight. I see her so vividly that the idea of her not being there only makes my heart ache and my soul cry.
That prospect steals my breath almost as much as this very kiss does.
Pulling back, I stare down at Meghan. Her lips are wet and bee-stung and her eyes sparkling. “Wow,” she whispers, a soft smiling teasing her lips.
“It’s you,” I reply, running my hand along her hairline and pushing those little fly-aways from her forehead.
“What’s me?” she asks, her arms resting comfortably on my hips.
“Everything. Everything is you.” I know I should stop, but I can’t. I can’t. I have two months worth of feelings for this woman that are suddenly bubbling to the surface, dying to get out. So, I take a deep breath and start.
“I’ve always respected and enjoyed you. First, as my employee and friend, and now as the woman I’m in a relationship with. This thing between us,” I continue, waving my hand between her chest and mine, “has transpired into something I wasn’t expecting. I wasn’t expecting…you.”
Her eyes glisten, but I don’t stop talking. “I wasn’t expecting to need you as much as I do or love you as much as I do. I wasn’t expecting to…fall in love with you.” Those tears in her eyes fall, and that smile drops from her face. “I love you, Meghan.”
There.
Said it.
The weight on my chest lifts and my heart starts to calm.
I’ve told her how I feel, how much she means to me.
What I wasn’t expecting was her reply.
“You can’t love me,” she says, those tears ripping though my chest and stabbing at my heart. “Please don’t love me, Nick. People who love me die.”
What?
“Wait, what?”
“You can’t love me!” she says, louder and with more conviction. “Loving me is bad, very bad. And I don’t want that for you, Nick,” she adds, stepping back out of my arms.
“Meghan,” I start, at a loss for words suddenly.
“No!” she demands, adamantly shaking her head. “You don’t love me!” she insists, those fucking tears ripping me to shreds.
“I do,” I assure, taking a step toward her and reaching for her hand.
But she pulls away, shaking. “People who love me die. I’m tainted. I don’t want that for you, Nick. You deserve to love someone who’s capable of loving you back.”
“You’re not capable?” I ask gently, taking another small step in her direction.
“No. I’m not able to love. I loved once and he left. I killed him,” she whispers, her eyes turning dark and hard.
“Honey, you didn’t do that. You had nothing to do with what happened to Josh,” I reassure.
She growls, frustrated, and turns away. “Everything was fine, Nick. Everything was great. Why did you have to say it?”
Her back is to me, but I still feel the weight of her words. “Because it’s true. I said it because I’m in love with you. Have been for weeks now, if not much longer.”
She shakes her head. Turning and facing me, she looks me straight in the eye. “Then this is over.”
My heart pounds in my chest so loud I’m sure they can hear it at the party over the music and laughter. Over the happiness. “Meghan, just because my feelings for you are the way they are doesn’t mean we have to stop seeing each other. In fact, it doesn’t mean anything has to change at all,” I softly declare.
“Everything has changed,” she states, her eyes hard with tears. “If you love me, something will happen. Something bad, and I can’t, Nick. I can’t…go through that again. It hurts too much, and if I lost you, I don’t think I’d survive it.”
This time, her slow tears turn into agonizing sobs. I move toward her, wrapping my arms around her and drawing her close. She’s shaking and crying, her tears quickly soaking through my dress shirt. I keep one hand on her back and the other I run down the back of her head, trying to convey as much comfort and support as humanly possible through just a touch.
She’s been hurt so badly already – and I’m the stupid idiot who didn’t think about that before declaring his undying love. The last man she loved is no longer here, and the thought of someone else loving her is terrifying.
I get it.
But it doesn’t stop my feelings.
Suddenly, she pushes back and swipes harshly at her cheeks. “No, it’s over. I don’t love you, Nick. I can’t.”
Before I can even open my mouth to reply, she turns and runs up the beach, leaving me standing at the shore. I watch her go until she disappears around the side of the restaurant. What the fuck just happened? One minute I’m confessing my love and spilling my feelings, and the next she’s breaking everything off and running away.
I’m the biggest fucking idiot on the planet.
Not for loving her. No, there’s nothing wrong with loving that woman. She owns my heart already, even after only a few months. But for just blurting it out the way I did, without even thinking about how it would make her feel.
My feet start to move through the sand as I run toward the party. I fly up the stairs and begin frantically searching for Meghan. Jaime and Payton each give me a look, one that lets me know they can tell something’s wrong, but I don’t go to them. I don’t have time. I need to find Meghan.
Before it’s too late.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Meghan
“I need your keys,” I say quickly, trying not to let on that something’s so very wrong, but of course, Dad doesn’t buy it.
“Why? What’s wrong?” he asks, pulling them from his pocket.
“Nothing. I just need to leave for a second.”
“A second?” he asks, clearly taking in my tear-stained face and my frantic breathing.
“Maybe longer. Can you get a ride home?” I ask.
“Of course, but are you okay? Did something happen?”
“Something…did. I can’t talk about it. I need to go.”
“Is it Nick? Did he do something?” he asks as he places the keys in my hand.
I take a deep breath. “He didn’t do anything. He’s just…wrong.”
Dad gives me a once-over. “Okay. The key to the house is there too, if you need it. I’ll catch a ride with Grandma and Grandpa,” he says, wrapping his hand around mine. “Everything’s going to be okay, Meggy. I promise.” He pulls me into his arms and gives me a hug. I want to stay, and I almost do. Wrapped in his arms gives off that same false sense of security I get when Nick does it. I feel safe and secu
re.
But it’s a lie.
“I’ll get your car back to you,” I tell him, pulling away.
“I’m not worried about the car. I’m worried about you.”
“I’ll be fine.” Deep breath. “I’ll be fine.” I’m not sure if I’m trying to convince him…or myself.
Probably both.
But Dad sees through it. If anyone can see past the hurt and fake front, it’s him.
I glance back at the water’s edge, but don’t see anything – or anyone. “Go. I’ll make sure he’s okay,” Dad offers. “And when you’re ready, he’ll be waiting.”
Blinking back the tears, I reply, “I don’t think he will.”
Dad places a kiss on my forehead. “Trust me, honey. He’ll be waiting.”
When I look at his eyes, I see his love – that unmistakable, unbreakable love that only a father has for his daughter.
Except, that’s not true.
I’ve seen that look before.
Twice.
And one’s dead because of me.
I quickly squeeze Dad’s hand and turn to the door. I move quickly, without making eye contact with anyone, and head toward the parking lot. Inside his car, I’m wrapped in comfort and memories. I stick the key in the ignition, and slowly pull out of the parking spot. As I move onto the road, I can’t help but glance to the water. Will he come after me? But I don’t see him.
It’s probably for the best.
I drive without a destination, yet know exactly where I’m headed. I pass the cemetery where my fiancé now rests and head out of town. When I reach the quiet country road, I turn off, and for the first time, wonder if I’m making a mistake.
It’s late.
They’re probably in bed sleeping.
But I keep driving, ignoring my conscience that tells me I should call first.
I pull off the road and into their driveway. There are several lights still on, so I know I haven’t woken them up. As I shut off the car and open the door, a petite figure steps out through the front door and onto the porch. “Meghan?” she asks, her voice exactly the same as I remember.
