by Dianna Love
His thick bulge was cupped against the heat flaring between her thighs. She moved closer, moaning at the feel of rubbing against him.
His hand reached underneath and between her legs, touching the frenzied nerves hidden behind a slip of lace and begging for attention.
The surge of heat rushed up, demanding to be satisfied.
She hooked her hands around his neck and rocked up against him. “Tanner, please, now. I want you inside me.”
His hand stilled. “Wait ... Jee-sus. What am I ...”
In fact, everything stopped, except for the frantic bundle of tension that had her close to pleading. “What? No. Do not stop.”
Tanner dropped his head to her and sounded miserable. “I can’t do this, darlin’. I sure as hell want to, but I can’t touch you like this when I have no idea what’s going to happen tomorrow.” He kissed her so tenderly she wanted to scream. He was breathing hard and muttering, “You’re not—”
The shaking had started in her middle and fanned out. “I’m not what?”
“You’re not someone I can do this with and just say goodbye.”
That had to be the most wonderful thing any man had ever said to her.
She hugged herself to him, inhaling the scent of hot male. “I know I may have no tomorrow, Tanner. I know you can not make promises about what will happen to me.” She kissed his lips then his cheek and neck until he shuddered. She had to make him understand. “But I also know I want this. With you.”
He closed his eyes, kissing her hair and said, “I won’t let you do this and regret it later.”
She was sick of men making her decisions.
Pushing up to look him in the face, she thought of all the things she’d done because someone else dictated her every action. Tanner’s eyes were dark with passion. For her. This man wanted her and she wanted him.
For once, she was going to fight for her own happiness. “I have lived my whole life according to someone else’s plans. I have never been allowed to make one decision on my own. This, right now, is my decision.”
A multitude of emotions rolled through his face, but would he admit to any of them? Would he accept that she would not regret this?
She placed her hand on his chest and felt the steady thump of his heart. Her voice broke. “Please, Tanner, do not take this from me.”
“Not a chance.” He kissed her again and there was no holding back this time. His fingers wandered all around her until they slipped beneath her shirt and found her breast.
She gasped at the contact.
His fingers grazed and played, gently pinching her nipple. Jin clenched her legs and nipped his ear then licked the spot.
She angled her head to give him more access to her neck. Her body was ready for him. “Hurry, Tanner.”
He chuckled against her throat. “Not a chance.”
Then his fingers brushed over her bottom and slid up between them again where he pushed the lace aside this time and touched those frenzied nerves.
With her back braced against the wall, his fingers teased the hard nipple of her breast and flicked across the aching bud. She felt every touch spiral down through her until all her senses were focused in one spot.
She gripped his shoulders and tightened her legs around him until her muscles felt ready to snap. She edged closer to a ledge where the world threatened to spin out of control if she slipped off the edge.
“Let go, darlin’. I’ve got you.”
Tanner would not let anything bad happen to her.
With another brush of his finger, she arched and her womb exploded with a thousand tingling shards. Light behind her eyes blinded her and she heard her voice calling out to him.
He held her the whole time, never letting her go.
When she finally slumped into him, he carried her to the bed and laid her down, covering her with his body. He kept kissing her while her mind realigned with the rest of her.
His hands smoothed hair back off her face. He kissed her lips, taking his time and she never wanted that kiss to end. It was a kiss that told her this was more to him than just pleasure. That this was special. She was special.
When he lifted up, he said, “That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed.”
Why hearing that about her orgasm made her smile, she had no idea, but it did. Running a finger down the shirt he still wore, she said, “Is that all I get?”
His eyes darkened and he pushed her shirt up until he slid it off her body. “You may kill me, but I’ll have a smile on my face when I go.”
She laughed and the next thing she knew he was undressed and had located a condom.
Eyeing the part he intended to cover with that, she asked, “Are you sure it will ... fit?” She wasn’t necessarily talking about the condom being large enough.
He finished rolling the condom on and dropped down to rest his weight on his forearms. He stroked a finger along her cheek. “Having second thoughts?”
She smiled at him. “Not a chance.”
He laughed, a deep, hearty sound that she wanted to hear again and again. Then he began kissing his way down to her panties and she stopped smiling.
When he ripped the lace away and put his mouth in the center of her wet heat, she gasped first at the bold move and next at the tension that started building again.
Her fingers curled into the bed covers, twisting them as he gently spread her legs for more access and took her on another frantic race for satisfaction. She was close, so close.
Her body bowed. She begged.
He reached up and tweaked her nipple, shooting her off that ledge again.
“You’re so damned adorable,” Tanner said when he moved back up to kiss her again.
Then he was sliding inside her and, oh yes, there was more.
He cupped her bottom and pushed deep then pulled out, taking his time. She’d waited a long time for a moment like this and couldn’t take putting it off any longer.
“Slow was nice, Tanner. Now faster would be nicer.”
“Yes, ma’am.” But this time his words had been guttural and sounding as if that was just what he’d been waiting to hear. He rocked into her again and again.
She lifted her legs and hooked them around him and drove his next stroke deep inside. She trembled at the feel of him.
He was moving faster, driving in and out.
When her muscles tightened around him, he slipped his finger between them and touched her. One perfect time.
She clung to him and let her climax take over.
Right behind her, he pushed hard and reached his release with a growl and dropped onto her, huffing out breaths and damp from exertion.
Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply to burn this moment into her brain. She might never have another, but she would always know what it was like to feel this with someone she loved.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Tanner lay awake, thinking about the future. His? Hers?
Did they have one?
They didn’t.
Jin lay cradled in his arms and he was pretty sure this might be as close to heaven as his sorry ass was ever going to be.
Jin had been awake for a few minutes, but he’d thought she’d gone back to sleep when she asked, “Tell me about your family.” She added, “Please.”
That seemed to be their code word to share something they normally wouldn’t.
He thought about his family that seemed so far away even though they were in Texas and he was only in California right now. “I have three sisters. Two are grown and have land near my mother’s ranch.”
Jin’s mouth dropped open. “Ranch. You really are a cowboy?”
Tanner grinned. “Yes, ma’am.” He watched her consider that for a moment, then she said, “What about the other sister?”
“The last one is sixteen and headstrong.”
Jin smiled. “This surprises you?”
“Not really. She gets it honestly, just like the rest of us.” He wanted to know more abo
ut her, too. “What does Soo Jin mean?”
“Treasure. My mother gave me that name because she wanted me to find someone who would treasure me. Silly.”
Not really. Tanner stroked his hand along her smooth skin. Her mother was right. Jin deserved to be appreciated.
“Where is home, Tanner?”
“Amarillo, Texas, but different branches of our family are spread from Amarillo to Midland in what’s called the panhandle.” And speaking of family, what would he tell his mother and sister if he couldn’t fix this mess with the State Department? Martina’s mother was going to die any day. The minute she did, his mom would be a mess if he didn’t get Martina cleared to be adopted and brought here.
“I studied geography,” Jin said, pulling him back to her. “I know that is the part at the top of your state. How long has your family lived there?”
“Since the 1700s.”
“That is hard to envision. My family owned nothing even before my mother became ill.” She switched topics. “Do you ride horses?”
“As often as I can when I go home.”
“I have always wanted to sit on a horse, maybe even ride one.”
He asked, “Weren’t there any horses where you grew up?”
“I’m sure there were, but I was not around any. I was only allowed to study and practice fighting skills. I told you, my life has never been my choice.”
He’d heard something similar from another woman who had claimed she’d had no choices and played on his sympathies. Allie had convinced him that the mess she was in was not her fault. The husband she’d married too young terrified her. She’d said over and over how she’d never gotten a chance to live her life, going from her parents’ home to that of her husband’s when she was nineteen.
Tanner had thought he was in love with her, but as he looked back it had been nothing more than a high school infatuation. One that had continued for too long and had become too significant in his mind when she’d rejected him to marry someone else.
Eight years later, though, he’d ridden in like a white knight to save her from a brutal marriage, or so she’d made it out to be. Much later, too late, Tanner found out she’d been just as guilty of bed hopping with other men as her husband had been with women. And Allie had been into drugs.
But in spite of what everyone tried to tell him, Tanner had stood by Allie every step of the way to help her get through a divorce that left her financially secure. He’d even paid for rehab—twice—and listened to her plead that there had to be a better way, and that it was too hard with him to help her find another way. All that rehab hadn’t stuck, but it had played in her favor in gaining sympathy during the divorce where she was allotted a fat settlement.
The minute she gained her freedom and had a choice of staying with Tanner or moving on, she’d walked away. She’d gutted him. That’s when he’d finally realized he’d done all that for her thinking she’d choose him, because she’d toyed with him and teased about how wonderful it would be when they could finally be together.
He brushed his fingers along Jin’s arm. How could he trust a woman he barely knew when he’d been fooled by one he grew up with?
“Jin,” he said, and waited for her to meet his eyes. “There are hundreds of miles of tunnels below Pyongyang. How did you know which ones to take to get us out of the city?”
“In the time I was not forced to study for the Hunters, I studied maps passed down from friends who would die if they were caught teaching me. I had been working to learn the maps for more than five years, waiting for the time when I could leave to come here. Then when they brought my sister to America, I knew I must get out to save her.”
The ocean of difference between Jin and Allie hit Tanner like a pissed-off bull. Allie had been given all the choices a young girl could hope for, far more than Jin had been offered. And yet Jin had grown strong in spite of her struggles. Allie had done just the opposite.
Looking back, his chest no longer ached over Allie. And if he had to be completely honest with himself, even at the time, his ego had taken a harder blow than his heart.
Was Jin like Allie? Was she playing him?
He was going with his gut on that one.
Jin curled into him and he pulled the cover up to keep her warm.
This woman in his arms had a grip on his heart that would rip it in half when he eventually had to give her up.
He kept trying to imagine it, but he couldn’t.
One thing he did know. He’d do all in his power to keep her safe and give her the chance to make a choice when this was done. If that didn’t include him, he would find a way to live with it.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
“Take a drink of this.” Tanner handed Jin a cup of ginger ale he hoped would settle her stomach and put some color back in her cheeks after the flight from Los Angeles to Ogallala, Nebraska. He was still nursing a cup of coffee and felt bad about finishing off a hefty breakfast when Jin could hardly keep the cold drink down.
“Thank you.” Jin sipped the drink, but her eyes were straying to the clock shaped like a chicken. “I am wasting time.”
“It’s not ten yet, so we’re still on schedule. Take a minute and get your stomach settled before we head out.” At least the diner they’d found nearby was quiet. Jin needed that after getting off the Bombardier Learjet Sabrina had sent.
A sweet ride for anyone not terrified of flying.
Dingo put his glass of Coke down. “He’s right. A few minutes won’t make that much diff—”
The clip clop of approaching boot heels on tile floor stole Dingo’s attention. His expression rolled into a shocked look a second before a woman said, “Why are you surprised?”
Dingo stared up, dumbfounded and finally blurted out, “What are you doing here, Val?”
“You said you were in a hurry to find some bad people.” A nice pair of legs covered in black tights stepped into view.
Tanner followed those legs up to a cranberry red knit dress with a black belt and gray scarf swiped around her neck. No coat, so the clothes made sense. It was cool outside right now, but the high temperature was expected to be in the upper fifties today. She carried herself like a woman who didn’t let something like the weather get in her way. Crazy blonde hair curled in a messy style that worked only on a hot woman.
All that came with a firecracker attitude. She asked Dingo, “Are you going to introduce me and maybe move over or just treat me like you did—”
Dingo cut her off by scooting deeper in the booth as he made introductions. “Val, this is Tanner and Jin. You two, this is Val. She’s the one who located the doctors in Chinatown.”
“And the list of airports with Gulfstream IVs in this area,” Val added, planting herself next to Dingo. “Now you just have to find one like the weather agencies use that’s outfitted for flying into storms.”
Tanner watched Dingo, who looked like a man in need of a quick exit strategy.
Val dipped her head to look at Jin. “Poor thing. Are you sick?”
Dingo answered, “She doesn’t like flying and we just landed.”
Val jumped in with a suggestion. “You should take flying lessons once this is over.” She waved a hand that encompassed all of them and what Tanner took to mean their mission as this.
Jin stared at her as if a three-headed dragon had landed at the table and was giving her tips on how to use utensils.
Did that slow Val down? Not even.
She was an animated person who waved her hands when she spoke. “Really. Flying lessons are a good way to combat your fear of flying. Take control.”
Jin shuddered and put her cup on the table.
Tanner waited for Dingo to inform Val that now would not be a good time to push any of Jin’s buttons and unleash instant whoop-ass.
When that didn’t happen, Tanner sent Dingo’s friend a warning glare. “Not helping right now, Val.”
“You don’t know that. Right, Dingo?”
Dingo mumbled something unin
telligible, then took the food the waiter handed him. While Val explained that she’d already eaten but would take a hot tea, Dingo filled his mouth, avoiding taking a side or answering Val.
That was interesting. Nothing ever bothered Dingo, but this woman clearly did.
And now Tanner knew what the woman Dingo had tapped for information in Los Angeles looked like. She’d also quickly narrowed down a list of airports where Gulfstream IVs leased hangar space after Jin had told them that was the aircraft discussed for seeding operations.
Tanner let Dingo eat in peace, just glad when Jin attempted her soup.
Val finished off her hot tea and stood up, announcing she needed to visit the ladies’ room and offered, “Come with me, Jin. You’ll feel better if you move around.”
“Dingo didn’t tell me you were a doctor, too,” Tanner quipped.
Val smiled at him. “I might like you in spite of the company you keep.” She quickly told Jin, “And I mean the male company, not you.”
Jin smiled as she stood. “I like you for the company you keep.”
That brought a sharp smile to Val’s face.
Hearing the strength in Jin’s voice again, Tanner stopped worrying that a stiff wind would knock her over. He’d struggled not to reach out for her or hover. That’s all he’d need in front of Dingo, and now Val.
The two women walked away with Val chatting up a storm about how California was the only place to live in this country, a surfer’s paradise.
Tanner tossed his napkin down and stuck his elbows on the table. “What were you thinking bringing her?”
Dingo pushed his dishes aside. “Does it look like I brought her?”
“No, but she can’t stay.”
“Sending her away at this point is more effort than I’m up for.”
That had the ring of some seriously screwed up history, but Tanner wasn’t one to judge. “So what’re you going to do with her?”
“Me?”
Lifting his hands in a WTF move, Tanner said, “She didn’t come all the way here to see me and I have my own hands full.”
