by Pearl Foxx
“Woah. What just happened?” Gerrit lifted his hands in submission. “I was teasing. It was funny, but everyone on Kladuu has done the exact same thing at least once in their life. This one time, Nestan and I were out on a hunt and…”
“Stop. Just stop talking.” Jude’s anger left her as quickly as it had come, and suddenly she was left feeling cold and alone. Tears pricked the edges of her eyes and, dammit, she did not want to start crying. What was wrong with her?
“This isn’t about the mollusks, is it?” he asked softly.
She sank down onto to the bed and shook her head.
“What’s going on, Jude?”
“I don’t know.” She slipped her feet out of the soft-soled shoes the Hyla had given her.
Gerrit began taking off his clothes, but she looked away, not wanting to stare at his perfect body just then. He slid under the covers behind her and placed a warm hand on her back. “Are you coming to bed?”
“I’m not really feeling like humping your leg tonight.”
“What has gotten into you?” The bed rustled, and then he was beside her, staring at her face.
“Nothing.” Jude turned away from him. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Clearly it does.”
She glared at him. “Because I don’t want to fuck?”
“Blessed Avilku, no, of course not.” Gerrit ran a hand through his hair, shoving it back from his face, and the line of worry between his brows returned, deep and hard-set like it had been when they first met. “What have I done to make you think that?”
He didn’t deserve her anger, and there was none left inside her anyway. She sighed. “I’m just thinking about home again.”
Gerrit stiffened, but his voice was kind when he said, “I’m sure you miss your sister.”
“And you trust me enough to let me go, even knowing about Kladuu?”
“I told you I do. If I had changed my mind, I would have said so. I am a man of honor.”
His tone had changed, his body leaning away from her and his language turning more formal. She’d done something wrong. This was a mess.
“I don’t question your honor, Gerrit,” she said weakly.
“What is it then?”
“I doubt mine,” she whispered.
Gerrit froze. He hadn’t expected her answer. After a beat of silence, he asked, “You doubt your honor? You think you’ll … betray me?”
His voice turned raspy, and she imagined he was thinking of all the things she could tell Commander Gideon about his home. She took his hand before he could draw out all the conclusions. “I would never betray you, Gerrit,” she said. At her words, his shoulders slumped with relief. “It’s just that I promised my sister I would keep her safe. We’re all we have.”
“You have to have your own life too,” he said.
Jude stared into his bottomless eyes. She imagined she could dive in and sink to the bottom. She could drown in him. And she didn’t think she’d care. She’d die right there in the depths of his eyes, happy. “This isn’t what I was supposed to want. This wasn’t the way my life was meant to go.”
“You have no commitments here,” Gerrit said, but Jude raised an incredulous eyebrow. He shook his head at her. “I told you I wouldn’t hold you to the mating ceremony once we leave Hylan territory. You can go home. What you’ve done here for my people has earned you my trust.”
Jude nodded, but it still wasn’t right. Her heart was still breaking. “It’s just …” she started, struggling to find the right words. “What would you want? If it was your choice?”
“I have no opinion. It’s entirely up to you. I would never stop you from—”
“Stop being so nice. If it were up to you, what would happen now?”
Gerrit chewed the inside of his cheek and then breathed out in a rush. “I would keep you here and take you home. I’d show you to my entire clan and declare you the Alpha’s true mate. I’d make love to you day and night for weeks until we couldn’t move, and then I’d start it all over again. I’d spend my entire life trying to make you as happy as I’ve been these last few days with you.”
Gerrit stopped speaking, but his mouth hung open like he couldn’t believe what had just come out of his mouth. He clearly hadn’t meant to say so much, but she’d pushed him, and now she knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him.
But what did that matter? This wasn’t her home.
The prickling tears began to roll down her cheek. “I can’t. I can’t stay. I have to go back.”
“I understand.”
“You don’t. You want me to stay, but I can’t. I have to get back to my sister. I can’t leave her. She needs me to protect her.”
“But what do you need?” Gerrit placed a hand on her thigh, his thumb moving gently like he couldn’t help touching her.
“I need to go,” Jude said, her voice cracking. “But until I do, can we just pretend? Can I pretend I could have what I want?”
Silently, he leaned forward, his lips molten hot and soft as they took hers. It was a slow kiss, not the full-burn intensity of before, but it filled Jude’s head with light and air and made her dizzy.
He eased her down so they lay side by side, kissing slowly. He slipped her dress down past her breasts, caressing her skin with his rough hands as he went.
Every part of her wanted to reach out and grab him and flip him on his back. She wanted to ride him and fuck until she couldn’t see, but something in his touch held her still.
He moved to her neck, licking and sucking, pushing her dress lower still and over her hips until she could shimmy out of it. The sheet over his lap was the only thing separating their bodies, but she waited as he moved down, kissing and touching her with reverence. It was a kind of worship, the way he touched her. He moved slowly, holding himself back and teasing her into blissful submission.
“Jude,” he growled before pulling her nipple into his mouth, sucking and nipping at her hardening nub. His arms wrapped around her middle, pulling her against him. She ran her hands down his back, using her soft nails to scrape gently against his skin.
She moaned as he turned his attention to her other breast and maneuvered her onto her back. His weight was atop her, pressing her into the mattress.
Hands ran down her sides and gripped her middle. She bucked up against him as his mouth on her breast sent shivers through her body. His hands settled at the bottom of her back, throwing her hips into movement.
“Please,” she whispered, gripping his shoulders, seeking release. “Gerrit, please. Don’t make me wait. I need you more than you know.”
He lifted so his eyes met hers. He stared at her as he pulled the sheet from between them. Quietly, he said, “I do know.”
Jude opened her legs so he could bring his cock to her core and find her warm and wet for him. With a steady thrust, he filled her, his eyes never leaving hers as her sore body stretched around him, seating him deep inside her.
She wanted to look away from his unblinking gaze. She needed to just lose herself in the feeling of his body inside her, wearing her out and turning off her brain and heart, but his gaze hypnotized her. She couldn’t tear away from the sincerity looking down at her.
She gripped his shoulders and arched her back as he began to move. Over and over he moved, steady and deep, his gaze never wavering.
He pushed in deep and held still, his body pulsing with need.
“What is it?” she whispered, opening herself and pulling him in deeper.
He stared at her, unreadable. “You. It’s you.”
His words undid her. She pulled him down to her and kissed him, hot and desperate, and soon they were moving together, twisting their bodies so that his hardness filled every part of her. He wrapped both arms around her middle, crushing their bodies together as they writhed.
Jude wrapped her legs around his lower back, meeting each thrust with her own intense need to feel him deeper.
He buried his face in her neck, moaning against her hair
between kisses.
She clung to his back, giving herself up to him, trusting him to take her to a high she could only begin to imagine, that she’d only just glimpsed when they’d made love before. No. When they’d fucked before.
This time, Gerrit was making love to her, and she shuddered at the realization, knowing she wasn’t holding on to just his body, but also his heart. And she never wanted to let go.
Gerrit’s movements sped up, and he grunted, lifting slightly off her so he could lean his weight on his arm and increase his hips’ already piston-like speed.
Their eyes met, and this time, Jude didn’t want to look away.
Her body was set ablaze. It started where his cock slammed into her and spread along her limbs. She shook, seeking escape, desperate to find more. The fire burned through her defenses, and the flame in his eyes flickered with love.
What had she done? What had she found here? How could she leave? How could she not?
She shook with impending release. Her toes curled, and she threw her head back with a scream, revealing her neck to her mate.
Gerrit slammed into her one last time, roared, and lowered his elongated canines to her neck, where he scraped them along her throat, just enough to draw a bead of blood, but not enough to hurt.
She catapulted over the edge, falling ever further into Gerrit.
Into her Alpha.
19
Gerrit
Caj came the next morning with a twenty-guard escort. Most were lower-ranked soldiers closer to Caj’s age, and Gerrit knew only a few of their names. But he was grateful they’d come. Especially since word must have gotten back about the mountain pass.
Feeling sick to his stomach, Gerrit strode forward and clasped his brother’s arm in greeting.
Caj grinned. “Glad you’re still alive, brother.”
“Me too. Swanson made it back in one piece I assume?”
“Sent us straight here. We would have been here quicker, but the Draqons are riled up. I take it that crashed Falconer might have something to do with that?” Caj’s attention drifted over Gerrit’s shoulder to where Jude, wearing a filmy white dress the Hylan servants had laid out for her this morning, stood beside Tavorn.
Gerrit turned as Tavorn bowed to his brother. “Good to see you again, Caj. I’m sorry for your loss.”
Caj’s face tightened, his smile disappearing. “Thank you. You have the Vilkas’ thanks for offering my brother a safe haven. I hope he wasn’t too much of an inconvenience. We all know how Gerrit can be.”
As Tavorn hooted with laughter, the skin at the back of Gerrit’s neck prickled. Jude shot him a narrowed-eyed look. She’d heard the sharp tone in Caj’s voice too, but Gerrit forced himself to brush it off. His younger brother had always felt a competition existed between them, even when it came to their father’s affection. Perhaps it was because Caj’s mother was just a mistress, and he was always compensating in his eyes. But to Gerrit, he was just Caj, the skampy pup with too-long arms and skinny legs. He was family.
“Hosting Gerrit was certainly an experience,” Tavorn said, eyes glittering above pointed teeth. “But his mate has been an absolute marvel.”
“His mate?” Caj sputtered.
Jude lifted her chin in greeting toward Caj and the guards behind him. Her arms were crossed beneath her breasts, the tops of her cheekbones burnished from the sun out here on the ocean. She looked regal and powerful, not bowing beneath Caj’s hard stare, just as a mate should. As an Alpha’s mate should.
Gerrit’s stomach roiled. He really had to stop thinking of her that way.
“Caj,” he said, “this is Jude Quincy of Earth. Jude, this is my brother.”
Caj didn’t even spare her a glance. “And she’s your mate?”
“I am,” Jude said before Gerrit could come to her defense. “Is that a problem?”
Caj’s brows spiked; he wasn’t accustomed to being challenged so directly, especially in front of their soldiers. Gerrit bit his lip to keep from grinning. “I, ah … I mean, no?”
“Good.” Jude turned to Tavorn and took his hand, her smile warm. “Tavorn, it’s been a pleasure. Thank you so much for your kindness.”
Gerrit stepped forward and settled his hand on Jude’s shoulder. “Yes, thank you. The Vilkas are indebted to you.”
Jude had to tug her hand free of Tavorn’s before he would turn his gaze to Gerrit. “That’s what allies are for, right? Perhaps there will come a time for the Vilkas to repay the kindness.”
His words sounded like a threat, and Gerrit had to clamp his mouth shut to keep from growling audibly. Jude took over. “Soon, I hope. Hopefully, it will involve mawfin meat.” She rubbed her flat belly draped in elegant white Arakid silk. She’d tried to insist on wearing her tattered flight suit for the hike back, but Gerrit had convinced her that the Hylas would consider it a slight if she didn’t leave in the clothes they’d gifted to her. Still, she’d made certain he’d stored her precious blood-stained insignia patch in a secure pocket of his pants. “I’m already missing your fine delicacies. Right, Gerrit? You especially loved the mollusks.”
Her eyes glinted with mischief, and Gerrit’s stomach swept and dipped with love. Even here, right in front of everyone, she was teasing him with their private jokes, leaving everyone else slightly confused as Gerrit fought back laughter.
“We can certainly bring those as well as mawfin meat,” Tavorn said. His voice sounded tight; he knew Jude had made a joke at his expense, even if it wasn’t directed at him.
It was a dangerous game, and Gerrit schooled his expression. “Thank you, Tavorn. Giving us the medicine as a wedding gift is too kind. It’s a testament to your leadership for us all.”
Jude wrapped an arm around his waist and hugged him, smiling up at him. He wanted to turn and wink at her to show he’d learned from her last night, in more ways than one, but he kept a pleasant expression on his face as he stared at Tavorn.
After a bit too long, the Hyla smiled. “Certainly. It’s our pleasure. Merick?” he called to the Hylas gathered behind them.
The towering Hyla with purple scales sauntered forward, carrying a small wooden box. Golden straps were latched around its edges. The wood looked like it had been taken from the oldest jungle tree.
When Gerrit reached out to take the box from Merick, the Hyla held it tight. His eyes were sharp and menacing, promising dark intentions when he finally released his hold. Gerrit gritted his teeth and forced himself to sound pleasant as he said to Tavorn, “Thank you. You’ve been very generous.”
“What helps one clan, helps us all, right?”
A chill swept down Gerrit’s spine, and Jude tensed ever so slightly beside him. “It does.”
“Great!” Caj snapped his fingers to signal his guards to attention. “Now that we have the bone dust, Gerrit, and his new mate back in hand, shall we get a move on? I want to be hunkered down for the night before the Draqon patrols come out.”
Gerrit frowned, but Caj was already turning away after a perfunctory bow toward Tavorn and motioning the guards back to the boats, where a few shifted Hylas waited in the water. Gerrit didn’t remember Caj ever giving a damn about tactical strategies for navigating the jungle before, and he’d called their life-saving medicine bone dust. Strange.
Gerrit didn’t miss the offended look on Tavorn’s face as they shook hands and finished their goodbyes. Perhaps it was best that they left before any more damage could be done.
They boarded the boats. Jude followed him on without taking the help of the Vilkan guards, though she acknowledged them with a nod and a smile. Caj plunked down on some cushions at the head of the ship and stretched out.
Gerrit waited until all the guards were in positions before he waved one last time to Tavorn and his group of mages. The Hylas in the water swept forward, and the boats gathered speed. Gerrit sat down with a sigh of relief, the wooden box clenched tightly in his hands.
Jude reached over and squeezed his arm.
Home free, he th
ought the gesture meant. He dipped his head and pressed his forehead against hers.
“You two were really sucking up to that glittery snake, huh? What did he do? Give you guys the good wine or something?” Caj chortled, looking to a few of his guards to join in on the joke. They laughed uncertainly.
Gerrit growled. “Shut up, you fool.” He looked beneath them, where the Hylas had slowed ever so slightly.
“What?” Caj’s leer turned to a scowl. “It’s not like they have ears in their serpent forms.”
“They have far better hearing than you think, and we’re still at their mercy. Perhaps you should err on the side of gratitude that your brother and his mate weren’t killed by our kind hosts.”
Caj rolled his eyes. “Look at you. Father’s ashes are barely settled in the stars and you already sound just like him. Might I remind you we wouldn’t have to kiss Hylan ass if you hadn’t gotten stranded in the jungle? Which reminds me.” His pouty gaze turned to Jude. “How the hell did she come to land on our planet? Is she really your mate?”
“As real as it can get,” Gerrit said tightly.
Caj startled. “A true mating? You mean it?”
Gerrit gritted his teeth. Were he and Jude true mates? He couldn’t tell. How could he? The only examples of love he’d ever seen were his mother’s tears when his father had snuck out to meet his mistress, Caj’s mother. And when she’d died and his father’s heart had broken, that had been love. But this bright, perfect thread he felt between him and Jude? Was it a true mating?
Gerrit could only be certain that he’d felt no higher truth than what he felt for Jude.
“Either way,” Caj said to break the silence, “I’m happy for you and my new sister. If Father were here—”
“But he isn’t,” Gerrit couldn’t help but snap. Caj shrank back against the side of the boat and deeper into his cushions.
“You’re right, good brother.” Caj offered up a tight smile. “You always are.”
The water lapped against the sides of the boat. Everyone fell silent. Even Jude. Gerrit found her silence to be worst of all. What was she thinking? Talk to me, Jude. Say something just so I can hear your voice.
