Unfortunately, she also remembered her reaction to Gideon last night and swallowed hard. She had been afraid of him. Even though she had no logical reason to fear him. Jenna knew that he would never lay a hand on her, yet, she couldn’t stop the fear that had coursed through her. She’d become hard wired for over a year to expect the worst from that one person that was meant to protect you the most.
“Earth to Jenna”—Lazarus nudged her again—“What’s up?”
“Um…nothing.” What was she supposed to say? I’m in love with the one person I can’t have? The one person who hates me.
“If you say so.” He shoved a whole forkful of crispy bacon into his mouth.
“I thought vampires didn’t eat very much.”
Gideon smiled around his food and chewed a few times before swallowing. “A liquid diet isn’t enough to sustain this.” He lifted an arm that was about the size of a tree trunk. “I need the blood to slow down my metabolism enough to digest this.” He gestured to his loaded plate.
“I see.” She smiled at him.
“You’ll notice that most of the bulkier males eat. At least once in a while. Maybe not much but some.” He did a fork sweep around the table. She distinctly remembered Gideon eating. Like Lazarus said, not much, but he had eaten. She’d thought he did it just to make her feel more comfortable but he obviously needed the food as well. Jenna looked at the others around the table. There was one vampire to every two or three women. Competition was fierce to try and win the guys’ attention.
There were low cut tops, short skirts and fluttering fake eyelashes everywhere. Jenna had to work not to roll her eyes. She must’ve made a disbelieving noise as she slowly shook her head because Lazarus looked her way. “What?” He shoved a mouthful of eggs into his mouth.
She made a little snorting noise. “This is a total circus.”
“I know.” He growled, shoveling another mouthful in.
“The guys seem to be really enjoying it.” One of the vampires…a really good looking younger guy, actually put his face into one of the women’s cleavages. He actually shook his head in-between her breasts. When his head came up, his eyes rolled back and he groaned. The woman was leaning over to his side with both her hands under the table. Two guesses where her manicured fingers were. One guess what they were doing. “They’re lapping it up. It’s a freak-show circus.” She repeated the sentiment, her mouth falling open.
A sighing noise, at the head of the table drew her attention. One of the vampires had his tongue buried down the throat of one of the women and he was openly fondling her breast.
Jenna’s mouth dropped right open in an all-out gape now and any thoughts about food completely disappeared. “Oh my good golly…”
Lazarus chuckled. “Don’t look so shocked. It is my understanding that you were briefed on how sexual vampires are.”
Jenna nodded. She knew firsthand how sexual vampires were but maybe she hadn’t given much thought on exactly what that meant in this type of setting.
The couple excused themselves, practically running in the direction of the door. Their arms around one another. His big hand on her ass.
Jenna made another little snorting noise. “Please don’t tell me…” Her eyes tracked them as they disappeared. “That they’re going to…”
“Rut?” Lazarus growled. Another rasping chuckle erupted from deep inside his barrel of a chest. “I’d put serious money on it.”
“I’m sorry.” She wiped her mouth with her napkin even though she had yet to eat. “I’m not a prude, but really? None of us know one another well enough for…that.”
Lazarus shrugged. “It’s a matter of testing compatibility. It is a must. A male will not take a female as a mate unless they are compatible. And vice versa as well of course.”
“I guess I expected it to take a few more days at least before…well…before this started happening.”
“Why wait? If a male and a female are attracted to one another and get along with one another then they should rut.” He shoveled the last mouthful of food into his mouth.
“If what you say is true, then you vampires must sleep with a ton of different people.” The thought of Gideon having sex with a whole bunch of women didn’t sit right with her.
Lazarus nodded. He swallowed his mouthful, putting his knife and fork on the plate in front of him. “You could say that.”
Jenna pursed her lips for a moment and took a couple of deep breaths. “I mean, what are we talking here? You have sex with a different partner every few weeks?”
Lazarus just smiled at her.
Jenna gasped. “A different partner every week?”
He raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms across his chest.
“Oh my god…” She shook her head. “You have sex with a different woman every few days?”
“It’s not like that.” He shrugged. “We have sex often…yeah…and often with different partners but we also have our favorites. Those we are compatible with physically but not that we see as mate material. Most of us have rutted many different partners.” He gave a feral grin. “Sometimes even more than one in one day.”
Her mouth fell open but she quickly closed it, putting her napkin against her lips. She went from feeling a little ill to feeling a little annoyed. Jenna blew out a breath through her nose as she started to feel downright mad. If Gideon was here right now, she would let him have it. She’d been with a hand full of men in her whole life. Too few to count on one hand. Yet he was mad at her and he’d been with tons of women? Whole strings of them by the sounds of it. The knowledge made everything in her tighten. It made her want to throw things.
Lazarus must have sensed her change in moods because he turned more towards her and even touched her arm lightly. “We also mate for life, Jenna. Once we have found the right partner, we never let go, are very loyal and protective. There are no half measures. It’s all or nothing with us. Any previous partners we have had pale in comparison. Our mate becomes our everything.” He said it with such heartfelt emotion.
Something in her softened. There was still a part of her that was feeling pretty mad though. “I just don’t like double standards. I’m sorry.”
“What do you mean by double standards?” His brows lifted.
“Nothing…it’s nothing. You’re really sweet. Why aren’t you chatting with any of the ladies here?” She forced down all the confused emotions that coursed through her and smiled at him.
“I am.” He smiled back. “I’m talking to you.”
“Yeah, but”—she looked back down at her plate—“you should really be speaking to someone you can actually have.”
His face clouded and his Adam’s apple worked as he swallowed hard.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” She touched the side of his arm.
He shrugged. “It’s fine. I know there is nothing more than friendship between us…I was only joking around. Thing is…” He paused, sucking in a deep breath. His big chest lifted. “You are the only female here that isn’t petrified of me. Also, you do know this is a breeding…dating program right?” He rolled his eyes at the use of the word ‘dating’. “You are supposed to be available, yet I don’t see you trying to win any of the males.”
“None of them are my type.” She chewed on her lower lip. “I guess I don’t want a guy that wants a girl who throws herself at him. I hope that makes even the tiniest bit of sense.”
Lazarus nodded. “Yes it does, although I must admit that I would love a human female to throw herself at me. Looove.” He rolled the word off his tongue.
Jenna had to laugh. She gave his arm a little slap. “You might want that for a quick roll in the hay but not as a long term relationship…come on, admit it.”
“A roll in the hay? Have you lost your mind? I wouldn’t roll in any hay with her. I would bend her over and—”
“Okay already, I get the picture.” Jenna had to laugh some more. “A roll in the hay is a human saying for having sex.”
H
is eyes lit up. “Then I would very much like it if a human female threw herself at me so that we could roll around in hay.” He groaned loudly.
“Talk to one of the ladies then.”
“I’ve tried. They’re all scared of me.” He rolled his very broad, very muscular shoulders.
“You shouldn’t wear all those knives to the table.” She pointed to the one on his thigh and the other one on his belt. Judging by the bulges on his ankles and various other places on his person, she suspected he had many more concealed weapons as well. “Human women are not into violence and aggression.”
Lazarus’ eyes narrowed. “I won’t take them off after last night. No fucking way. I need to be able to protect you humans.”
“You are so sweet.” She put a hand on his arm. “I am sure that once these ladies get to know you, they will see you in a whole new light.”
“I’m not any prettier in different lighting.” He shrugged. “This is me.”
Jenna covered her mouth, trying hard to hold back a laugh. “I don’t mean a change of lighting. What I mean is, they will like you lots once they get to know you.” She kept her hand on his arm. They had established that what they had was a friendship so she wasn’t worried about him getting the wrong idea. “For the record…you are an attractive guy. A woman would have to be crazy to not want a built and seriously badass vampire like you.”
Lazarus gave her a toothy grin. “Damn straight. I fuck like a demon as well.”
“That’s a little too much information—” before she could finish her sentence, there was a meaty thud that put Lazarus on his back with a face full of blood.
Gideon stood over him, looking so magnificent that it took her breath away. His chest heaved, his eyes blazed, his hands were fisted at his sides. All of his focus was on the vampire that lay on the ground.
“What the fuck?” Lazarus spat out a mouth full of blood. He stayed on his back, his own eyes burning just as fiercely. “Gideon?” He sounded shocked and even blinked his eyes a few times.
Gideon made a loud growling noise, his lip curled away from his teeth exposing long, sharp fangs. A shiver ran up her spine. Gideon cursed loudly, then he turned and stalked away.
Although everyone at the table watched him go, as soon as the door closed, the focus turned to Lazarus.
“What did you do?” One of the males asked.
“It must have been bad.” Another chuckled.
“Fuck if I know.” Lazarus responded as he pulled himself into a sitting position.
Jenna grabbed her purse and quickly made for the exit. No one would think for one second that she was going after Gideon. They would assume that she was shaken and that she had decided to return to her suite. Then again, they probably wouldn’t even notice at all. She closed the door behind her.
Jenna caught a glimpse of him as he rounded the corner up ahead. She was tempted to shout after him but didn’t want to garner any attention. Maybe she had it all wrong, but she was pretty sure he had acted that way out of jealousy. Why else? If he was jealous, then she had a chance to make him understand.
She broke out into a jog and crashed straight into him as she rounded the corner. He was on his way back. Gideon put his hands out and grabbed onto her waist so that she didn’t fall onto her ass.
She made a little gasping noise.
“What the hell?” he growled.
Held in his tight grip, staring into his blazing eyes, she felt herself panic and scrambled to get away.
“Jenna.” His voice was pleading and his eyes were filled with concern. Thankfully, she felt the fear melt away as he said her name.
Jenna sucked in a deep breath. “I…” She didn’t quite know what to say. “Why did you turn around?”
His jaw tightened. “I wanted to apologize to Lazarus. It’s not what you think.”
As in, he wasn’t jealous. Like hell. She pursed her lips together and nodded. “If you say so. I’m glad that you are going to apologize. That was uncalled for.”
He breathed out heavily, seeming to notice for the first time that he still held her hips with both his hands and he released her, running a hand through his hair. “It had nothing to do with you.” His jaw ticked and he glanced away for a second as he spoke.
A little snorting sound escaped her. “I know when you’re hiding something. You forget that I know you, Gideon.”
His eyes hardened. “Just because we fucked a few times doesn’t mean you know me.” He spoke under his breath.
Arrow to the heart. It stung. He’d said it to hurt her and had succeeded. “It was more than that and you know it.”
He shook his head. “You were mated to someone else at the time. It meant sweet fuck all in the end.”
“Say what you want. Paint it any way you want. It won’t erase the fact that you declared your undying love to me and I did the same right back. I meant every word, Gideon.” Her voice sounded shrill and she was speaking too quickly.
He folded his arms across his chest. “You lied about everything, so your declaration of love didn’t mean much to me.”
“I may have omitted a few truths early on but I told you everything in the end—”
“You lied when it counted…you let me fall for an already mated female.” His nostrils flared with each breath that he took. Pain clouded his beautiful eyes. Another well placed arrow to her already leaky heart. “That wasn’t the worst of it though. It took a while for me to come to terms with it…to realize that I couldn’t live without you…I tried so hard to deny my feelings.” He shook his head. “I should’ve fucking tried harder.” He mumbled, almost to himself.
What was he saying?
Jenna had to squeeze her lips together to prevent herself from asking at least a half a dozen questions that rose up in her mind.
Gideon clasped his hand to the back of his neck. “It was nine months after I left—”
Jenna felt like covering her ears. She didn’t want to hear the rest. She could guess what he was about to say. Prayed that she was wrong.
“—nine months.” His eyes narrowed as he repeated the words. “I lived and breathed you the whole time. Couldn’t stop thinking about you. I fucking missed you so much.”
Jenna felt her lip wobble and a tear ran down her cheek. She didn’t try and wipe it away.
“I was so happy once I made the decision to give us another try. I couldn’t wait to see you. I looked you up and thank fuck I didn’t ring your doorbell. Imagine my shock…” He clenched his teeth, Gideon’s eyes misted for a second before he composed himself. “You were with another male…your belly swollen with his child. You never loved me. You were with me while still with your first mate and quickly moved on after I left. What we had was never real.” He growled the last few words. “I am going to apologize to Lazarus. I would like for you to return home. I won’t hesitate to report you to Brant. Leave or face the consequences.”
“Wait!” She cried as he pushed past her, brushing his shoulder against her arm. “It wasn’t like that. Let me explain.” There was a part of her that needed him to stop so that she could do just that but there was also a part of her that prayed that he would just keep walking.
Telling him would entail opening painful wounds. It may even make him hate her more. She was weak and pathetic. Jenna didn’t deserve a male like Gideon, but she loved him with all of her heart and would never forgive herself if she didn’t at least try. This was her opportunity to be brave. She watched him until he turned the corner, then she slumped against the wall. It might be better if he cooled down first.
She would speak to him again soon. She would find a way to speak of the events of the last year and a half of her life. Her heart and soul depended on it.
Chapter 4
The stricken look on Jenna’s face had almost been enough to get him to turn the fuck around, but he couldn’t do it. There was nothing she could say to him that would fix things.
Nine months after she had begged and pleaded for him to stay and to g
ive her a chance, her belly was already visibly swollen with another male’s child. It hadn’t taken her long at all to move on.
Gideon meant what he had said, if she didn’t leave of her own accord, then he was going to have to figure out a way to out her to Brant without implicating himself in the process. The last thing he wanted was to turn Jenna in, but he would do it. There was no way he was buying any of what she was selling but at the same time he couldn’t watch her be seduced and possibly mated by one of the other males. Seeing her with Lazarus today had almost killed him.
Speaking of Lazarus. The male had long since left the breakfast table and was sparring with one of the other males in the gym. Gideon watched the big male and despite his bulk, in a careful move, he used his foot to sweep the other male’s legs out from under him causing him to crash heavily to the ground.
Gideon chuckled and moved forward, as it was clear that the bout was over. The smaller male lay groaning on the ground.
Lazarus put up his hands as his eyes caught Gideon’s. “I don’t want any trouble,” the big male growled. “If you tear into me again, I’m going to have to retaliate. You may not come out looking so pretty this time and I would probably end up in the dungeon.”
Gideon felt guilt rise up in him and he ran a hand through his hair. “About that.” He sighed. “I’m really sorry. It was a misunderstanding and it won’t happen again.”
“You mean as long as I’m not talking to that particular female, you won’t cause shit with me again.” Lazarus might be brawny but he also had brains.
Gideon wasn’t sure what to say. There were plenty of other males working out in the gym. Several eyeballs were turned in their direction. Lazarus helped the fallen male to his feet and led him to a nearby bench. By now, his advanced healing had set in, and the male already looked a ton better.
Lazarus turned back to him and gestured towards the door. “Let’s go for a quick walk.” He grabbed a towel, using it to mop his forehead.
Gideon nodded. “There isn’t much to say, but let’s walk anyways.”
A Mate for Gideon (The Program Book 2) Page 4
