by Fran Baker
Mundane subjects dominated their dinner conversation. Anne ate by rote, hardly tasting the sumptuous broiled fish or the lightly seasoned vegetables. If Kai noticed anything unusual about her reticent behavior he didn’t comment on it After the waiter had poured their wine Kai lifted his glass in a toast.
“Gan Bei,” he murmured in a husky voice, rekindling the coals of desire that Anne was desperately trying to extinguish.
She gripped the stem of her own glass so tightly that she thought it would crack His sentimental reminder of their first weekend together brought tears to her eyes, and she quickly averted her gaze. Kai reached across the table and took her hand in his, firing the fever that was already raging inside her.
“Isn’t it about time for us to meet the sampan?” she asked, forcing herself to adopt a casual tone. Anne withdrew her hand from his warm grasp, successfully evading both his stimulating touch and the topic of her departure for just a little while longer.
“Whatever you wish,” Kai responded. He quirked an eyebrow at her, then signaled for their check.
His hand rested possessively on Anne’s waist as they walked to the end of the pier. A gentle breeze ruffled the water’s surface when they boarded the teakwood sampan. The jockey-sized guide beamed at them, and he seemed to understand that his passengers were perfectly content to sit back and enjoy the ride without him pointing out the various sights.
Here and there bright patches of light flared in the harbor as fishermen ignited their gasoline lanterns to lure their catch into the nets they had spread. The warm, moist air was like a transparent curtain that veiled the island’s dreamy beauty.
From this vantage point Victoria Peak looked like a neon cone spiraling out of the mist toward the sky. Wealthier households were hosting moon-viewing parties, complete with outdoor banquets and hired musicians. The acrid smell of burning incense wafted from the shore, and the quaint strains of recorders and lutes playing an ode to the heavenly satellite harmonized with the breeze.
Anne relaxed as best she could against Kai’s tautly muscled frame. When he curved an arm around her shoulders to hold her close his hand accidentally brushed her breast Anne’s heart raced wildly beneath her ribcage and she floated with the feelings she knew she would never experience again.
“Come home with me tonight,” he urged, his mouth nuzzling the sensitive spot in her neck. “And I will share with you the answer to every maiden’s prayer.” His eyes gleamed with desire as his fingers caressed her in the dark.
Torn between her physical needs and her professional demands, Anne stared unseeingly into the night. She felt herself retreating behind a great wall of isolation as their ride and their relationship neared an end. As soon as the sampan was safely anchored at the pier, she scooted sideways across the wooden bench like a crab seeking shelter in the sand.
It was time to tell him good-bye. Raw tension screamed through her nerves as they walked toward her apartment She suffered blinding pain after blinding pain, as if a knife were slicing her heart to bits.
“Are you ready to tell me what’s troubling you?” Kai’s glance was like a lightning bolt crashing into her thoughts. He embraced her and lowered his head so that his mouth hovered over hers.
The powerful chemistry that had drawn them together in the beginning was still potent. Anne’s lips parted under his, and she wound her arms around the corded column of his neck, matching his passion with her own sensual response. Sadness seared her soul with an indelible scar, and she knew an unbearable agony when she stepped out of his embrace.
“I’ve accepted a promotion,” she confessed, a misty light shimmering in her eyes. “To Athens,” she added, flinching under the dark daggers of his stare. Her chin quivered pathetically as she locked up her heart and threw away the key.
“If you visit enough islands your emotions should eventually learn to swim,” he mocked harshly.
“Don’t, Kai,” she pleaded in a tremulous voice. “I know this is better for both of us. I can’t change. I’ll never be the woman you want, the woman you deserve.”
“I never asked you to change,” he challenged. Kai looked like an angry bronze warrior looming over her in the moonlight. “I only asked you to examine your priorities, perhaps redirect a few of your goals.” His features were hard as carved jade, and he seemed ready to erupt into a storm of fury.
“I would be miserable without my work,” she insisted, acutely sensing the hurt her statement had inflicted upon him. At that moment a ragged patch of cloud passed in front of the moon, plunging Anne from gray despondency into indigo despair.
“Did it ever occur to you that there are plenty of jobs for reporters in Hong Kong?” Kai demanded. “Did you ever even check to see whether or not the other wire services or newspapers needed someone with your skills?” Knowing that she hadn’t, Kai caught her wrist in a brutally punishing grip and pulled her toward him.
“I can’t give you what you need,” she choked. “I don’t know how.”
“Because you have never tried to learn,” Kai lashed at her.
“I tried ‘forever’ once before,” she refuted. “It didn’t work.”
“And it will never work until you put the past behind you and look to the future,” Kai said angrily. He bent his head and his mouth closed over hers, silencing her with his kiss, stirring the embers of Anne’s desire. “Remember that,” he admonished. “Remember it forever.”
“No!” Anne pushed away and turned toward her apartment building, running from the pain of love as her heart pounded with a merciless beat. When she reached the elevator she punched the button with a shaking finger. Realizing then that she had just lost something more priceless than any salary she might ever receive, more precious than any success she might attain, she wept inconsolably, her falling tears an acid rain of regret.
Chapter 12
The prevailing winds blew a fond farewell. With impartially impish disrespect the breeze stole a naval officer’s hat, tattered a junk’s sail into shreds and whipped Anne’s hair until it resembled a series of pale gold streamers. The ship’s horn bawled a basso good-bye, and the voyagers threw confetti at the dockside revelers. The fragments drifted and swirled like a paper snowflake blizzard onto the blue-green waters below.
Anne rarely looked back. But as the ship swayed through the channel toward the open sea she gripped the rail and watched the jagged Hong Kong coastline recede into the past. The salt spray mingled with her tears as she wondered if yesterday’s bittersweet parting with Kai would always mar her memories.
Trapped between intense emotion and professional pride, Anne had initiated their final farewell. Two long, lonely weeks after their angry confrontation she bolstered enough courage to dial his number. Kai’s secretary had recognized her voice and put her through immediately.
“Hello, Anne.” Although Kai sounded genuinely pleased to hear from her his vibrant greeting had been qualified by a cautious note, as if he were arming himself for another verbal battle. “This is certainly a surprise. I thought you would be halfway to Athens by now.”
“I sail tomorrow.” She hesitated, weighing the possibility of another mistake against her desperate desire to see him one last time. “Are you free later today?” Her voice wavered and she bit her lip, struggling for control before she plunged ahead. “If so, maybe we can meet somewhere for a drink.”
Kai accepted almost too quickly. “Five o’clock at the Pearl Pavillion.”
“Fine. See you then.” Anne had replaced the receiver with a shaking hand. Her bags were packed and her passport was in order. For all practical purposes, she was ready to go. Why, then, was she tormenting herself in this sadistic manner? Did she harbor some dormant hope that Kai would force her to stay? Did she honestly expect him to somehow forestall her leavetaking? Whatever the reason, Anne felt a desperate urgency as she pinned up her hair and hid her soft curves beneath a properly defensive navy linen suit.
Kai was waiting at the Pearl Pavillion, his steady gaze tracking
her graceful walk across the crowded room. After a too-hearty hello he ordered their drinks and an awkward silence enveloped them while Anne searched for a neutral topic of conversation.
“I’m sorry I won’t get to say good-bye to your mother,” she finally managed. “Would you please tell her how much I enjoyed our visit?”
“Your remembrance will please her,” he answered mechanically, his black eyes studying her, as if he were memorizing every feature for safekeeping.
“And Mr. and Mrs. Burns,” she added, lifting her glass to her trembling lips. Anne swallowed the white wine as if it were water, trying to fill up the aching hollow inside her. “They were so nice to me.”
“As a matter of fact, the Burnses asked me to extend their farewell,” Kai said. “They’ve booked passage to Ireland and sail the day after tomorrow.”
“I’m happy for them.” Anne hated playing this polite game of give-and-take. She didn’t dare break the rules, though, for fear of shattering her composure. “Have you had any luck finding a couple to replace them?”
Kai’s lips curved in a sly smile. “Thanks to you, I have.”
“What did I have to do with it?” she quizzed with a baffled frown.
“While I was settling up with the Burnses at West Wind last week I mentioned the Li family to my mother.” Kai tossed down his drink, then motioned for a refill. “She visited them to see if she could be of any assistance. During their conversation she learned about their rural background.” He flashed a smile as he unveiled the mystery. “To make a long story short, I hired Mr. and Mrs. Li to become my caretakers.”
“Kai, that's wonderful!” Anne was deeply moved by his generosity. She reached over to lay her hand on his clenched fist, then stopped herself. To touch him, even briefly, would be to sabotage her remaining strength. “Mailin must be thrilled,” she continued smoothly. “Even though she won’t be seeing her family as often it will be a tremendous relief to her that they’re finally settled.”
“There’s the distinct possibility that Mailin and her family will be reunited quite soon,” Kai corrected. “When my mother discovered that Mailin has a degree in education, nothing would do but that the girl be recruited to teach at the mission school. I’m surprised she hasn’t said anything to you about it.”
Anne looked at him, her eyes glowing with silver surprise. Kai might shrug off his share of the responsibility, but both of them knew that he had succeeded where she had failed. “Thank you,” she murmured softly. Anne blinked away the sudden tears that blurred her vision.
“It’s growing late,” Kai had glanced at his watch and panic had flickered through her. “I suppose you still have a lot to do before you leave.”
He tossed her a gracious exit line. Stop me! The words had echoed through her mind as she looked for the last time at his handsome face. Hold me! Tell me you won’t let me go! But her private pleas went unheeded as Kai stood to escort her outside.
“The waiter has called your cab,” he had said. The pressure of his lean fingers on her arm was sheer torture, yet his inscrutable face had eclipsed all emotion.
Anne had forced a false smile when the taxi pulled up to the curb. She turned, her heart beating frantically, her knees rubbery weak, but her features tautly composed. “Well, if you’re ever in Athens . . .” Her bantering tone had fallen flat and she had swallowed the rest of her sentence. With her fingertips, Anne had stroked his rigid jawline, unaware that the pewter distress in her eyes spoke volumes.
“Good-bye, my Lotus.” Kai had grazed her lips with his. “I wish you the best that life has to offer.”
She had averted her face, unable to stand the pain. Kai held the door open while she climbed into the back seat. The tears were warm and wet on her cheeks. Anne hadn’t realized when she looked back one last time that her grief-stricken face showed more emotion than she had ever before revealed to Kai.
* * * *
Someone tapped Anne on the shoulder, rudely jolting her into the present. The sun was beginning its western slide toward the horizon and she shivered slightly as she turned, wondering how long she’d been standing at the rail, tangled in the web of her memories. Her white crepe skirt was plastered to her long legs, and sea-damp strands of gold clung to her temples and the nape of her neck.
“Sorry if I scared you, Miss Hunter.” The smartly uniformed steward smiled. “But I wondered if I could show you to your cabin now?”
“Thank you.” Mechanically, she returned his smile. “I’d appreciate that.” Anne followed the young man below deck to the comfortable private stateroom that would be her home for the next few weeks. The steward pointed out the conveniences available on board the fabulous floating resort, informed Anne that she was scheduled for the early dinner sitting, then excused himself to check on his other passengers.
Unused to long stretches of leisure time, Anne decided that she would make a conscious effort to unwind. She showered and shampooed, then let her hair dry naturally while she unpacked. Methodical by nature, she finished that tedious chore with a good hour to spare before dinner. She paced the floor, feeling like a prisoner in the belly of a luxurious beast. The cabin was beautiful, but so empty. If only Kai—no! Anne censored her thoughts when a wave of loneliness threatened to engulf her.
Trying to enjoy the slower pace, she experimented with some new makeup tricks, fluffed out her hair, then slipped into a black lace dress that contrasted startlingly with her fair coloring and emphasized her slender waist. A walk around the deck would help her use up this excess energy. She was ready to leave when the steward knocked.
“The captain instructed me to deliver this personally,” he explained, handing her a long flat box wrapped in shiny black paper and tied with a silver ribbon.
“Oh, Kai!” Tears smarted in her eyes when she opened the satin-lined box and lifted out the same string of lustrous black pearls that he had tried to give her after they visited his jewelry shop. There was a small envelope in the box also, and she slipped that into her purse, saving it for later. With trembling hands Anne fastened the gold clasp and gazed in the mirror.
What have I given up? she agonized. Her troubled gray stare, reflected in the mirror, was underscored by smudges of fatigue despite her carefully applied makeup. The simple strand around her creamy throat reminded her of ebony eyes that had flashed with passion, humor and anger as they’d explored her very soul.
Resolutely, then, Anne lifted her chin and took a deep, steadying breath. It was time to accept the fact that it was over between them. There was a whole new world out there, and it was ripe for conquering. She wouldn’t crumble under the pain of this separation. She would view it as a new beginning.
Anne gathered up her purse and shawl, eager to escape the confining atmosphere. She fled to the dining room, thinking that new faces and casual conversation would push her punishing thoughts into the background of her mind.
After exchanging introductions with the other passengers assigned to her table Anne found herself thinking that this promised to be a very long cruise. She smiled in vague interest when a pair of white-haired spinsters attempted to extract her opinion during a grave discussion about their pet poodles’ diets. The middle-aged couple on her other side confided to anyone within earshot that they were on a second honeymoon. And directly across from Anne an obviously wealthy couple spatted with one another while their teen-aged daughter sat in sulky silence.
“Your pearls are gorgeous, dear.” Dripping with diamonds of her own, the woman stopped feuding with her husband and fixed an envious stare on Anne’s necklace. “Did you get them in Hong Kong?”
“Yes.” Anne didn’t want to explain the circumstances to a stranger, so she focused her attention on the shrimp salad. After a failed attempt to engage Anne in a catty conversation about the other passengers the woman went back to tongue-lashing her husband and daughter.
Anne made it through dinner in spite of the lump in her throat. Thoughts of Kai bombarded her constantly, ruining any attempt she ma
de to absorb the festive holiday spirit that permeated the ship. She excused herself just as soon as it was polite to do so and hurried away from the music and clamor of conversation to a secluded spot on deck. Settling into a polished mahogany lounge chair, she reached back to free a strand of hair from the clasp of her pearl necklace. Suddenly remembering the envelope that she had not yet opened, Anne took it from her purse. The enclosed card bore four carefully lettered lines:
Morning dawns with rainbow colors dancing.
I wait alone for a Lotus woman.
Kissed by golden sunlight, she comes
Offering a promise of love.
The words ran together in a blur as Anne’s tears spilled freely onto her cheeks. She rose swiftly from the deck chair and groped her way back to her cabin. Throwing herself across the bed, Anne sobbed herself to sleep.
She awakened to the rhythmic motion of the ship as it steamed through the South China Sea. Blinding sunlight streamed through the porthole and she rolled away from the glare. Kai's poem lay on the bed beside her outstretched hand, and it slowly dawned on her that she was still wearing her black lace dinner dress. Anne sighed pensively and willed herself to get up and walk across the room. She put the card back into the envelope without reading it again.
Unable to stand the thought of trivial conversation while she was recomposing her emotions, Anne ordered a pot of tea from room service. After a refreshing shower she dressed in pale blue slacks and a matching silk blouse. Grimly determined to make the most of her first vacation since becoming a foreign correspondent, she checked the activities schedule and decided that busy days would help her make it through the lonely nights.
White-capped azure waves and sparkling sunshine boosted her spirits during a leisurely stroll on deck. She noticed that many of her fellow passengers were already basking near the pool and she managed to dodge around a corner when she spotted the still-feuding couple with whom she had shared a table last night. She needed some company, but she wasn’t that desperate. The recreation director beamed when she registered for a tennis tournament, an aerobics class and backgammon lessons.
