After Kah teleported to her room, I ended up having to take a bath to support the lie, and perhaps to cool myself down again. Not once had I allowed my body to take a decision away from my mind, and this was not going to be the first time. Reason had to persevere above all.
I dressed myself for dinner in a pair of rustic gold raw-silk trousers and a white fitted shirt, they were part of a three piece suit Theo had gifted me while I was in his castle. Smiling at the memory of our kinship, I made my way down the corridor to the dining hall; taking extra time to get ready hadn’t exactly been a coincidence. I had had enough of my brother’s “push” analogies.
I had no idea how to do what he was asking of me, and I didn’t particularly feel up to the task either. The last thing I needed at the moment was another hour of senseless energy exploration within my being, and frankly, I didn’t see the point to the exercise to begin with. A door opened as I passed by Ash’s quarters and Gabriella stepped out.
She squealed after seeing me, gripped my arm, and pulled me down to her level so she could kiss my cheek. She seemed so excited to be here with us, she was absolutely endearing. “Hello, Gabriella.” I greeted as my gaze took in her appearance.
Her deep brown hair rested softly over her shoulders and back in soft waves, and she wore light make up that accentuated her features delicately. A pastel pink, long sleeved gown adorned her body. The corset highlighted her curves beautifully, lifting her breasts and causing them to slightly strain against the bodice, giving her an enticing cleavage. My skin flushed and I blinked, realizing I was staring. I forced myself to look away, horrified at my behavior.
She sighed and batted her eyelashes at me, oblivious of my appraisal. “Can you say that again?”
I chuckled and offered my arm to her. “Gabriella, you look positively enchanting in that gown.”
“Swoon,” she said, fanning herself and took my arm. “Your brother, who?” We laughed. She was endearing indeed. “Oh yeah, I have a hunk-a-hunk already. Sorry. But don’t worry, if I ever break up with your brother, I’ll come looking for you.” Gabriella winked at me. “You look dashing in that suit, if I may say so myself.” She fanned herself once more, and then frowned. “By the way, do you know where he is?”
“I thought he was with you,” I answered, mildly confused, while we began to walk together.
“Nope. He was this morning, but I haven’t seen him since then. I think he was doing something with Kyr. I, however, spent the rest of the day with Ora and Avrielle.”
I gazed at her, intrigued. “Really? What have you been up to?”
“Well, aren’t you a curious one?” She narrowed her eyes at me. “We’ve been doing women things, if you must know, Mr. Nosey.”
My brows gathered as I glanced at her. I wasn’t quite sure I understood her answer at all.
She smirked. She was messing with me. “We were making jewelry. It turns out it’s one of Avrielle’s hobbies, super interesting by the way.”
“You’ve formed a meaningful friendship with them, haven’t you?” I smiled.
“Yes, they are amazing. Avrielle is so sweet and strong, and her power is so freaking cool. I mean, talk about a girl crush. And Ora, aside from being adorable and loyal, I have to be honest, I just love having her around because I’m actually taller than her.”
We chuckled. “I’m glad you feel at ease here.” I expressed, as we entered the dining hall to find Kyr and Avrielle already sitting at the table.
“I feel at home, and that is not an easy thing for me to say,” Gabriella confessed and I stopped to look into her eyes, finding emotions brewing inside.
“I know things are different for you here, and there is much you need to learn about our world, but I truly am glad my brother found you. You two seem perfect for each other. If you ever need anything, I am at your service, Gabriella.”
I bent at the waist, and lifted her hand to my lips, kissing it. She smiled, eyes shining, and suddenly wrapped her arms around my stomach, squeezing me. I chuckled, reciprocating, and I guided her to her seat.
“Brother.” I acknowledged Kyr, and smiled at Avrielle with a small head bow—they sat next to each other. She smiled, amused, and puzzlement filled me.
“I waited for you for a full hour,” Kyr chided sternly, while I took my place at the table, in front of him. Avrielle pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh. Apparently, this was very amusing to her.
Shockingly, Kyr’s public reproach not only shamed me—as it normally would have—but it also aggravated me. “My apologies, Brother, but I do not recall asking you to do so.”
“Nyx…”
The warning tone in my older brother’s voice was not lost on me. It was not the first time I had heard it, and I always responded to it in the same way. My muscles clenched as the expected wave of guilt rolled through me. Kyr wanted me to train and I wanted to please him. Yet, after everything that had occurred, the secrets I had recently uncovered, there were more important things occupying my mind—life-changing occurrences, which I struggled to come to terms with at the moment.
The anxiety I had been fraught by during the past month rushed to the surface, shattering my weak hold, and causing the small hairs on my arms to stand on end. A cold sweat instantly broke through my skin.
“I’m sorry, Brother, but I do not understand why you need me to practice accessing my power. It is absolutely unnecessary, and it goes against everything you have ever taught me. Furthermore, I do not see a reason for which I should be required to do so.”
My hands fisted, as the heart palpitations began. I was a breath away from an anxiety attack, or well in the midst of one.
“I already tried to accomplish it for you, but I wasn’t able to achieve it, and I do not see why I should be forced into doing something I don’t wish to do, simply because it will please everyone else. So, unless you can explain it to me in a detailed manner, so that I may understand its purpose, and prove the sound logic behind it, then no. I will not be practicing or training with you anymore, and I shan’t be forced!”
Heated blood raced through my veins and every muscle in my body constricted as my fisted hands trembled over the table. Kyr and Avrielle leaned back in their chairs, shocked by my response, and frankly so was I. I kept my gaze down on the plate setting, afraid to look at the disappointment I knew I would find in Kyr’s eyes at my behavior. I had never felt this out of sorts before. I was a man of consistency, yet as I sat here, I couldn’t find it anywhere around me. There was nothing for me to hold on to.
“This is such a beautiful place,” Gabriella stated, clearly attempting to break the tension quickly growing in our midst. “What kind of stone is that, Avrielle?”
“That is white Quartz.” Avrielle answered, clearing her throat. “It’s striking, isn’t it?”
I concentrated on the small ice branches etched onto the wine glass before me, while I took slow breaths, trying to regain my bearings. Gabriella continued to admire the place with Avrielle, but Kyr remained silent and I felt as though I was about to lose my sanity. I needed at least one ounce of stability.
“May I be excused?”
“How did the temple get inside the mountain?” My words mixed with Gabriella’s.
“What?” My eyes flew towards hers, and I attempted to process her words.
She blinked, startled. “The temple. How did it get inside this mountain?”
“What are you talking about? The temple has always been here.” I contested, frazzled, feeling the last of my sanity slip away.
“Never mind.” She reached for her water, realizing her attempt at a distraction had failed.
“Please, tell me what you mean?” I encouraged, looking intently at her.
Gabriella swallowed and her gaze briefly connected with Avrielle’s confused eyes. “Well, if the temple was built inside the mountain, there wouldn’t be windows everywhere looking to the outside. This means it wasn’t always in here. Otherwise, it makes no sense to build windows, when a
ll you can see are caves.”
My breathing faltered, and my stunned gaze roamed our surroundings. I slowly stood, but the room may as well have tilted. The floor to ceiling glass windows stared back at me, mockingly. How in the Goddess’ Hell hadn’t I noticed that before? Two weeks I had been here, roaming these halls and regarding these walls. Had my mind, my lucidity abandoned me once and for all?
“I should have noticed it,” I whispered, appalled, confused, and enraged all at once. “How did I not see it?”
My fists once again clenched as my breathing accelerated, I needed to step away. Whirling around, I walked purposely towards the door.
“Nyx, wait. Where are you going?” Kyr worriedly questioned, coming after me.
“To the library!” I didn’t even bother to look back. My steps suddenly faltered when Kah and Ash appeared out of thin air, adding to the unease roaring in me. “What were you doing with him?”
She blinked, confused by my state. “I accompanied Ash to Earth, he needed to bring back a few things for Gaby.” My eyes fell on my brother beside her, and I noticed he held two suitcases in his hands. I instantly disregarded it, and moved past them to the hall.
“Nyx!” Kyr called again. “You can’t go to the library yet. Father doesn’t want you to—”
“Well, he isn’t here, is he?!” I shouted, turning around to face him. “What about what I want? Has anyone ever stopped to think, for one second, about what I need?” Kyr’s steps halted, he looked at me baffled. “The answer is no.”
“Brother, I’m sorry. I know you are frustrated, but what does it matter if you didn’t notice the windows? There is no reason for you to react this way.” He disputed.
I stared at him, dismayed, briefly wondering if my brothers knew me at all.
“It matters because that is what I do! I study everything, I analyze things, I question all that is around me. It is who I am. You lead, fight, and trail a path for us to follow, Ash pushes back, fights for what he wants and enjoys his life, no matter what others say, but I… I follow. I follow you. I please you because I admire you. Because you are my example, because when I didn’t have a father to look up to, you were there. The man I wish I could be. But I am not. I’m not like you, Kyr. I may look like you, and fight like you, but I am not you. The one thing I have for myself, that is mine, and makes me feel alive, is knowledge. The only things that give me peace are my books.”
My heart thundered against my chest as I looked at everyone around me.
“I don’t handle change like you. You went on that quest, faced off with the king, and now stand there as though nothing has happened. Judging me, because in your mind what I care about can’t possibly be as important as what you are dealing with. You have Avrielle, and Ash has Gabriella and you two deserve them, but as happy as I am for you, not once have you stopped to consider what I’m going through, after the world I knew crumbled around me.”
My muscles clenched, trying to contain the attack threatening me.
“We left the castle and came here, to a place I’ve never been, but is now supposed to be my home, with a man you are happy to recognize as our father because you have known him all of your life, but I don’t know him. I haven’t even seen him since the night I got here. You are all I have, and you have not even bothered to ask me how I’m doing. You just expect me to listen and do exactly as you say because that is what I have done all of my life. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, Kyr, because that is the one thing I have never wanted, but I can’t just follow now.”
An electrifying feeling burst through my skin, rushing over my arms like tiny tendrils of electricity, and I suddenly felt the wave of invisible energy move out of me. Small gasps reached me just as the curtains of the hall windows soared as though hit by a strong gust of wind. I ignored it. Turning away from everyone else, I stalked down the corridor while I opened the doors along the way, in search of the library hidden within the temple. The doors slammed closed, one after the other, as the frustration grew in me. In that moment, I needed one constant in my life, just one. I wasn’t asking for much.
My skin tingled as I grasped the next handle and pushed it down, the sight that greeted me caused the air to rush back into my lungs. My heart skipped when I stepped inside the white room. Alabaster, Quartz and ice reigned in there, masterfully carved and forming the most astonishing patterns I had ever seen along the walls, columns and balconies. The space was double the size of the Royal Archives, and it spanned all three floors of the temple. For a split second, I feared I wouldn’t have enough days left in my life to read every book in this new sanctuary, and immediately my mind accepted the challenge that presented.
I walked in, dazed by the sight. The anxiety slowly disappearing as my labored breathing fought to return to normal. My gaze fell on a desk that had a few books on the surface, and everything else disappeared. I should have continued my appraisal of the space, I should have called out to see who was here, but I couldn’t do anything other than walk towards the table. I stopped before it and noticed the books were open, as though someone had been researching. A small smile stretched my lips, but it was tinged by the storm still raging inside me. My fingers reached for the pages and a ragged sigh left me. Perhaps this place could feel like home after all.
Walking around the desk, I sat and let my palms caress the age-old paper before me. I took a deep breath, enjoying the smell of the hardbound parchment that seemed as old as the sanctuary itself, and stared at them. I didn’t study them, I didn’t read, I just stared, waiting for something… I just wasn’t sure what it was.
“May I come in?”
The deep, baritone voice that I had heard only twice before, called from the doorway and I instantly felt ashamed. I couldn’t answer, I had no words to explain the way I had behaved, or even what was happening to me. I had never been a self-centered man, I never craved attention, I just needed someone, for once in my life, to look at me, and see beyond what was easily perceived. Slow, purposeful steps resounded in the silence, until the chair before me scraped the marble floor as it glided back. The sound harshly echoed all around the vast library, but I couldn’t bring myself to look up.
“There is nothing for which you should feel ashamed.” The voice assured. “There was nothing but truth and pain in every word you spoke.” He let out a heavy breath that seemed to weigh more than it should have. “I have never been there for you, but I want you to know that I have always been there with you. For what it’s worth, I wasn’t keeping you from this place; I just wanted to be here with you, when you saw it for the first time. I wanted to see the light in your eyes as you gazed upon its beauty, I wished to experience this with you, son. By your side, and not simply be a stranger, peering through your mind.”
I didn’t believe in sentimentalities. It only served to cloud our judgment and impeded us from realizing what must be done. Yet, as Avra’s words made their way through me, something cracked inside me. I blinked, forcing my gaze to stay on the books while I attempted to keep the sentiments at bay, still, my chest severely constricted. I fought it as best I could. I was a logical and methodical man, always had been. People did senseless things when they allowed their emotions to rule them, and I would never make that mistake.
When the tension became unbearable, I dragged my eyes from the pages and focused on Avra, his emotion hit every inch of my being, fierce and implacable. My throat closed off, as a feeling rushed through me, making me tense in an attempt to control them. I failed. Tears left my eyes, mirroring the ones that had spilled from his.
“I am sorry. The decisions your mother and I were forced to make have hurt you, and that is something I will never be able to change. As a consequence, the path we must now take, and the choices your brothers are making, affect you too, and it seems to form a cycle I cannot stop.” Pain flared inside me as he reached for my hand. “But you can.”
I frowned as he gripped me tightly and I instantly felt a wave of warmth engulf me. His love poured into me, as
fierce as the pain I had felt before.
“By making your own choices,” he continued. “You are my son, and I know that doesn’t mean much to you at the moment—I shouldn’t expect it to—but you are Nyx, son of Drayvok… son of Avra. And you weren’t born to follow anyone, not even your brothers.”
Determination and certainty filled me the next second, and somehow I knew it came from him. He smiled, although his eyes still brimmed with the ache inside him. Avra looked so much like my brothers that it should have startled me; instead, it brought me comfort.
“I know too much has changed too soon, and this is only the beginning, but you are wrong. You do have something to cling to. Your brothers are your constant. They are the force that will keep you afloat, always and forever. The bond you share is the Bond of Three, and that shall never disappear. They shan’t fail you.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, still uncertain I could speak as his words rang true. My brothers had, and would always be there for me. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, but we were brothers.
Avra shook his head, dismissing my apology, and stood. “No, I am sorry.”
My eyes observed him as he walked to my side, sitting beside me. He was barefoot and only a pair of light trousers covered his body. Fascination briefly filled me, while my eyes took in every detail of his ongoing transformation. No. That wasn’t the right word, and I feared my mind failed to find the correct description.
His body seemed to be in a constant state of change as what appeared to be waves of blue scales—like the ones along the back of his dragon—rolled over his body. They pulsed with power along the taut muscles of his chest, abdominals, and arms. Yet, they softly appeared and disappeared from his skin as though it were a physical function, as essential and natural as breathing.
I blinked when Avra faced me, holding my gaze and bringing my attention back to his words.
“I was there for every moment of your life, watching over you and witnessing the man you were becoming, but I know that doesn’t mean much when you never knew who I was, when you couldn’t even notice my presence. I swear to you, that from now on I will be here, with you, beside you, every step of the way. And no, I do not expect you to accept me as your father only because I say I am, or because Kyr and Ash already have. That is your decision and yours alone. Nevertheless, perhaps now I finally have a chance to earn that place in your heart.”
Everlasting Kingdom Page 5
