by Savannah May
“Excuse me, Missy,” Dottie snaps. “I’m perfectly able to decide what I can or can’t ride. If he does kill me, I can think of no other way I’d rather go. I do what I love without fear!”
She gives me a look that I think has deeper intention than a ride on the bike.
My mother makes another aggressive noise. There’s nothing she hates more than being ganged up on. I expect there’ll be a price to pay later for this.
“You need to go wake the bride and get her ready,” mom orders me in that voice that makes me feel like I’m five years old.
I wish she wouldn't do that. Bolt gives me a wink as I leave and that makes me feel better.
“Have fun you two,” I tell them, so Dottie knows she has my approval.
Not that she needs it. I trail my fingers over Bolt’s hand as I go and he grabs them for a brief squeeze. Then I keep walking feeling my mother’s eyes boring into my back.
I stand on the stairs lingeringly, watching as Bolt and Dottie leave the house. How tenderly he takes care of her, opening doors and showing her how to climb over the wide saddle. Only once they’ve driven off do I head up to Scherri’s room.
“I’m so nervous,” she says as soon as I walk in her bedroom.
She’s already at the mirror, fiddling with her hair.
“Don’t be,” I say setting down the coffee I brought us. “I mean, I guess it’s inevitable but you don’t need to be. I’ve never seen a man as much in love as Steeley is.”
She smiles a little. I go behind her to start wrapping her long hair into the style she wants. Loose rolls coming back from her face and tied with a white bow that falls down her back. Then pinned with pearls and flower blossoms in the fold.
“What are you doing?” she asks
“Fixing your hair.”
“No I mean with Bolt. You two aren't really engaged.”
I don't say anything. I don’t want to lie to my sister, not anymore than I already have. But my god after last night, I have a real sense that maybe the role could become the reality. That might seem nutty and that’s because I always get my hopes up after the first time I sleep with a man. Letting him inside my body feels like it should be special and mean something.
I still have a tough time being like the girls I know in LA that treat sex like sport. Like their bodies are there to be used, and not only by themselves. I'm a little like Bolt, in that way that I don’t really have close friends. There are girls I go out with as a group, if they ask me but I doubt I’d call them with a secret. They’re too flippant, too shallow.
I wish I had a friend like Dottie – an adventurous type of person. Free thinking and not looking for what she can get, other than living a vivid life. Like Bolt does.
“He’s not for you,” Scherri says, her eyes fixed on me in the mirror. “He’s not for anyone really.”
“You don't know him,” I say.
She opens her mouth as though to contradict me, then closes it again.
Eventually all she says is; “no.”
“I’m sorry I didn't tell you I met him.”
“We haven't been in touch much while I've been traveling with Steele.”
“You were busy getting to know each other again and then with the wedding plans
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing? I don't want to see you get hurt any more.”
“You have to go for it, like Dottie says. Look how all those others don’t mean a thing to me now I have him,” I tell her, getting caught up. “He’s so amazing Scherri,” Okay I can’t hold back any longer, It’s bursting out of me and I have to tell someone. “He’s an amazing lover. I feel like a completely different person.”
She picks up her coffee and sips at it over and over, I can’t see her expression as it’s half buried in the mug.
Maybe she’s annoyed. Damn, I’m so thoughtless.
“Hey, I’m sorry, yakking on about my love life, when today is all about yours.”
“It’s okay,” she whispers, her voice cracking with obvious emotion.
I bend down to give her a hug and she clasps me to her tighter than she ever has. When I pull back there are tears in her pretty eyes.
“Sweetie, it’s going to be great. The best day of your life so far with nothing but better days to come.”
She brushes back her hair and nods.
“Right, lets get this shindig started.”
While she’s in her bubble bath, I quickly shower and dress myself in a short white dress with sleeves that splay out wide at the wrist like something you see in pictures from the disco era.
When she’s dressed she looks stunning. Her hair hanging down her back. A lace dress, but more like crocheted patterns than typical lace. She looks like a real flower child and absolutely shimmering with excitement.
I take her hand and we walk together, down the stairs to where Daddy is waiting.
20
Bolt
The little old girl clings to my rib-cage as we roll through town. She refused to put on a helmet saying she wanted to feel the wind rushing through her hair one more time.
She’s pulsating with energy when I help her off the bike outside the inn.
“What is it you want me to do or was that a ruse to get me to run off with you?” she says with a twinkle.
I laugh out loud because this girl is so funny and so full of life. Even though she seems to have no qualms talking about death. She’s already told me that all her friends are dead so she’s grateful to have so many sisters. She said it matter of factly, which it is I guess except we who faced it every day have developed a more tenuous hold on reality.
“I have some friends here I need you to take care of for me,” I tell her, offering her my arm to walk in to the inn.
“Are they anything like you?” she quips
“Actually they are but I haven't seen them for a while and we’ve all probably gotten older.”
She cackles at that.
“Friends will always be friends even though years pass.”
“I don't know that I'm a real good friend,” I admit. “I’m always moving around, on the run you might say. I’m not really close to anyone.”
Shit, that was almost a slip.
“All it takes is one,” she says. “You only need one really good friend you can always count on in life.”
She says it so full of meaning, I think she must be talking about Bella. And I’d definitely want Bella for a friend for the rest of my life. Except I could never be around her without needing her naked and entwined around my body.
Dottie’s looking up at me with a naughty, knowing smile like she knows what I’m thinking. This feisty old girl can almost make me blush.
“Warning,” I tell her. “This bunch can be rowdy when they get together. But you did say you had experience controlling military men.”
“Bring them on,” she quips eagerly.
I throw open the door to the back room and a roar goes up. Suddenly I'm surrounded by my old buds and wonder why I ever resisted the idea of seeing them again. After going here and there, never settling long enough to even make a phone call, man it’s great to see them again.
“Is this the girl you were telling me about?” Chucko asks.
He takes Dottie’s hand and puts his arm around her. I want to tell him to be careful. She looks fragile enough to shatter under his grip. But she’s loving every moment so I leave it.
“No, but I am her great aunt and I’ve been around three times longer, so no monkey business – that goes for all of you.”
The guys roar out a laugh.
“Where’s Steele, Dude?”
“Yah where is he, We’re dying to see him.”
“Yeah you will but listen here’s my idea,” I say.
They lean in and so does Dottie, eager to be in on the plan. She looks even tinier beside my strapping hunks buddies but I reckon she’s seen more and is tougher than all of them put together. I guess size really isn’t everything.
Shit,
I hope this doesn't backfire in my face.
Once I’ve gone over it twice, a couple of the guys still have questions. Dottie shoos me off to go make sure the groom’s awake.
“You can leave these boys in my capable hands,” she beams. “I’ll make sure they get to the church on time, so to speak.”
I head up to Steele’s room and find him a bag of nerves. Maybe I ought to bring the guys up here now, crack a few beers, help him chill out. But if he’s pissed about them being here or it sends him flying back to shit better left unremembered, then no. I decide to pull open a couple of cold ones and a shot of the rye I brought over in my hip flask.
“It’s gonna be great, Dude. You’re about to tie yourself to the best girl ever.” As I say that, I can’t help picturing Bella. She’s the best girl ever as far as I’m concerned.
“Have you slept with her yet?” Steele asks in a low growl.
“What?” I gnarl, jerked back to the now by his query.
“Bella. Have you slept with her yet?” he repeats.
“We’re engaged,” I quip, “Of course we've slept together.”
“Don’t screw around with me, man.”
He’s not pissed but he’s not exactly joking either. He’s acting kinda protective, seeing as she’s about to be his sister-in-law. But he doesn't need to. I can take care of Bella.
“Yeah,” I admit. Hoping that some guy to guy talk will loosen him up. “It’s out of control between us.”
“I’m sure,” he says.
“No, I mean it.”
“It’s always out of control with you.”
What the fuck does that mean? If this wasn’t his day I’d have that out with him. But it’s my job to keep him calm and I’m stepping up for this.
“This is different,” I tell him straight.
“This is my wife’s sister, dude.”
“I know that.”
I grit my teeth trying not to let this hurt my fucking feelings. You think he’d want his buddy for a brother. Instead he’s acting like I’m a girl’s worst nightmare.
“You will when you do that running off into the sunset act you always pull,” he says. I’m shaking my head but he adds; “You can’t help it.”
“I’m not gonna hurt her. I think I could really fall for this one. Maybe she and I can work something out.”
This fiancé stuff is a breeze with Bella. I reckon I could continue with the game, but then I remember she doesn't live around here and I have no clue what to do in a city like LA. And Steele, my only real friend isn’t looking convinced. He takes another swig from the flask.
“Have you told her?” he suddenly blurts out.
“Told her what?” He gives me the look. “Shit, no. Not yet. Do you think I should?”
“Fuck no,” he barks.
Okay then. I consider this for a minute. What it means for me and Bella.
“I don’t want secrets between us,” I tell him. “I won’t ever lie to her.”
“You won’t be doing her any favors by pulling that I’m gonna be honest crap. Bella and Scherri were brought up to be competitive with each other. In turn, one was always favored and the other was black-sheeped.”
“I know how that goes,” I mutter, meaning the black sheep part my dad laid on me.
“Right, so you know it sucks. And Lyndsey always put herself in the middle, so the two girls could never get closer to each other than they were to her.”
“Jeezus, man.”
It’s starting to make sense that Bella is wary around intimacy. It’s weird how I can see it in her but it’s harder recognizing it in myself. I guess Steele intends to enlighten me here. Seems like he’s been building up for this. Maybe hashed it out with Scherri before.
“So then you come along and the bond they’ve finally developed could easily blow.”
“Okay, Dude, I get it. I wont say anything. But that... you know what happened before, that wasn't like regular sex.”
“I know. You know. But I don’t know that Bella’s gonna see it like that,” he says.
“Okay, okay I’ll shut the fuck up. Dude, this is your day. And I wanna do everything I can to make it a blast. So can we please get it together?”
“I’m together,” Steele says, his hand shaking as he lifts the flask. We both crack a laugh, releasing the tension.
“Scherri really will murder me if I bring you to your wedding bombed.”
We get into our outfits – matching zoot suits similar to the style from last night.
Steele has a few lined up to choose from so it’s easy for me to snag one. I take the ring from him and drop it in my pocket, then pin on his miniature spray of wild flowers. We stand shoulder to shoulder to look in the mirror.
“We look like a couple of Al Capone’s fucking gangsters,” Steele says.
“More hobo than boho,” I agree. “Let’s hope that’s the vintage look she wants for her special princess day.”
I manage to get him out of the Inn after Dottie’s organized the men to leave before us. What a trooper that old lady is – just like her great niece.
When we get to the field by the lake, there’s a bit of a crush. People are greeting each other before moving to the seats in the open area where the ceremony will be held.
I only get to look at Bella across the sea of heads and then I can’t stop looking at her.
Two of the aunties, Gracie and Eloise I think, take charge of rounding everyone up. Then Bella walks toward me. I almost collapse she’s so stunning.
I don't know what I want to do more, fuck her or marry her. She looks amazing in a mini dress with droopy sleeves. Her legs are incredible in heeled sandals, her hair tied back simply and twined with white flowers.
My god, she looks like an angel. One I want to defile every day for the rest of my life.
21
Bella
I get to do it again – take Bolt’s arm and walk down the aisle with him. All my family is there gazing up at us. At the back there are some women I don’t know and have never seen. It stirs my stomach to think they might be here for Bolt.
We arrive in front of the minister who smiles at us and for a moment I have a fantasy that she’s there for us. To join together me and Bolt.
Then I pull myself together and turn back to watch Steele come down between the upturned faces, looking proud, and shy and really happy. He shakes hands with Bolt and stands at his side, looking relieved he’s not up there alone in front of all these people.
Then, I look up to watch my sister walking smoothly toward us with Daddy and holy crap....
My eyes fly over to Steele to see his reaction. He looks like he’s choking back a ton of emotion. Then I dart to Bolt who’s also choked up but looking really pleased.
“Did you do this?’ I mouth at him.
He nods like it’s no big deal. Now I get what all the texting and facebooking on his phone was about. Because walking in two columns, escorting my sister and father are a unit of strapping military men. They grin at the women, some with kids, at the back. Then I realize those must be their wives. Army wives.
Steele is swallowing down his feelings as he looks at his bride arriving with all his army buddies flanking her on both sides. One of the men leads Pebble on a leash. He’s wearing a big white bow tied around his neck and behaving perfectly. He’s such a smart dog.
It’s amazing that the men all showed up and at such short notice. It meant so much to Scherri and she looks so happy after wanting them to be here. My Dad looks so proud and suddenly the tears press at my eyeliner. One fat drop escapes and I shake it off my cheek. I can’t resist a glance up at Bolt who’s still gazing at me with a smile.
Oh that smile, so tender, so filled with – no don’t think that.
It’s all too much and I’m just fantasizing because I’m caught up in the love my sister and her soon-to-be husband are spreading. I cant be in love, I hardly know this guy. But damn, if I were going to fall in love any time soon, it would definitely be with Bo
lt.
As soon as the ceremony is done, Steele scoops Scherri up for a kiss and leads her out among the guests. Bolt reaches for me. He pulls me into his chest, his hard arm banding my back so I arch into him. Then he clamps his mouth down on mine with as much hunger as Steele just claimed my sister.
“I need you,” he burrs before somehow we’re swept apart by jubilant members of the party all wanting to hug and congratulate.
“Is this your girl for reals, you lucky dog?” One of the military guys shouts to Bolt before bending down to give me a hug.
He told them about us? When there isn't an us to speak of.
“This the famous Bella he told us about?” Another guy squeezes me in a bear hug.
“Bolt so needs a good girl to take him in hand.”
“Another wedding another meet up,” the first guys says.
I look around for Bolt but he’s lost in the swarm. I roped him into my little tall story and he’s gotten deep into the role. So deep he’s even telling his friends that we’re engaged. He didn't have to do that – this was my thing with my family.
But still I can’t help but feel a warm glow around my lungs that he’s proud enough of me that he wants his friends to think we’re getting married.
“Wasn’t that just lovely?” Aunt Giselle hangs onto my arm to get my attention.
I look down and she’s wiping a tear from her eye.
“And it will be you next,” she adds.
“Not if I have any say in the matter.”
I whip around and daddy’s standing there looking very handsome in his suit, refusing to go anything other that formal for his little girl’s big day. But his face is more thunderous than I’ve ever seen. I’m starting to think Bolt’s right in his assessment of my father’s disdain for him.
“Daddy, if you’re mad that he didn’t come to ask permission for my hand...”
“That was bad enough, but I’m getting used to it with these paratrooper types that think they’re above all that,” he cuts in, making Giselle startle and grip my arm harder.
