by Grant, Donna
To that end, he pulled her back down against him and said, “I was thinking about you.”
“Me?” she asked, surprise in her voice.
“It’s been a long time since I let my guard down as I have with you. The last time didn’t work out so well.”
Eden was silent for a beat. “I know that shaped your world, and it should have. But on the other hand, you need to let that go. You can’t continue to base all of your decisions and actions on the fact that one woman was swayed by evil people. I’m not sure you can even blame your girlfriend. You don’t know what she was presented with. Obviously, she cared about you, and she did what she thought she needed to do to ensure your safety. Who says I wouldn’t do the same? Or you, had you been in her position.”
“I’ve thought about all of that, as well. I forgave her a long time ago. She didn’t know what I did, hadn’t been through the things I had. There was no way she could’ve known what to believe and what to ignore. I lay the entire blame on the Saints. They can be very persuasive.”
“As you should. They recognized your girlfriend as a weak link to get to you.”
Maks felt Eden shiver and pulled the blanket up higher to cover them both. “To allow anyone close to me is to invite death and destruction to both parties.”
“The only thing I know about spies is what I’ve watched in movies.”
“They get some of it right, but not all of it.”
Eden yawned. “That’s probably for the best so not all spy secrets are revealed.”
“Lies are our commodity. We deal exclusively in them. I use different names, different jobs, live different lives. I can’t remember the last time I told someone my true name.”
“Not even the Loughmans?” she asked.
Maks shrugged. “Wyatt knew who I was before, so I never had to tell them. He did.”
“How did it feel to be you again?”
He thought about that for a moment. “I wasn’t really me. Not even then. Wyatt knew who I was, and while I joined them in the battle—as well as their fight against the Saints—I was still undercover.”
“Because you’ve been fighting against everyone since you know the Saints are everywhere. If you hadn’t seen Wyatt and the others fighting the Saints yourself, would you have believed them?”
“No,” Maks answered immediately. “I would’ve feared it was a trap. The Saints do that to people.”
“You’ve had to become the person you are in order to stand against the Saints. You’ve done what you had to do to survive. I will never judge you for that, and neither should anyone else. Few people could’ve done what you did. The strength of will and mind that must have taken staggers me. I couldn’t have done it.”
“I think out of all the people I know, you could have.”
Eden chuckled softly. “Thank you for saying that. I fully embrace the wuss that I am.”
Maks laughed at the unexpected comment. “I never know what’s going to come out of your mouth.”
“Good. I’d hate to be predictable.”
There was no one else Maks would rather be with at this moment than Eden. She had an unusual and unique way of looking at any situation, no matter how dire. He viewed the world in all its various shades of gray. Eden saw it as it was, taking everything in stride and not judging herself, the situation, or anyone else.
“Alexander Maksim Petrov.” He waited a moment as the words sunk in. “That’s the name my parents gave me. I went by Alex growing up, but my family always called me Maks. My team members in the military also called me Maks.”
“It suits you,” Eden said.
“I’ve gone by so many names, I’m not sure anything sticks anymore.”
She shifted her head to look at him. “You went by Maks again this time. Why?”
“It’s a common Russian name. And it was easy. Perhaps that was my first mistake.”
“That’s what I don’t understand. After so long working for both the US and Russia as well as the Saints, how did everything blow up in one day?”
He’d been wondering the same thing. “I don’t have an answer.”
“How close do you think you were to gaining the biggest secrets of the Saints?”
Maks snorted and gave a shake of his head. “I’ve no idea if it’s one person or a group of people. The few times I’ve heard anything, it was made to sound as if there was a small group. The Elders. That could be something allowed out to throw people off looking for information about the Saints. They’ve done that before, and I know it for a fact because I was in on it.”
“So, what can we believe?”
“That’s just it, we can’t believe anything we hear. It has to be facts. It’s why I spent so long gathering as much intel as I did. The one fact I know is that the Saints have a firm grip on every country around the globe, and they’re going to do anything and everything to ensure that it remains that way.”
Eden pressed her lips together and looked away. “They won’t ever stop coming for us, will they?”
“Not unless we stop them.”
“Then I need to get somewhere with a secure internet connection. I’ve got to keep looking at the intel to find how and why you were targeted.”
“And by who,” he added.
Eden blew out a breath. “Then there’s the text you got that seems to have set all of this off.”
“It has to involve Luka somehow. I can’t figure out how the old man got my private number or why he would text me.”
“And you’ve no idea what watch yourself means?”
Maks used his free hand to scrub down his face. “It could mean any number of things. My first thought was the Saints, of course, but I quickly dismissed that.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t think Luka knew about them.”
“What if he did?” she pushed.
Maks thought about that for a second. “Everything I’ve dealt with has been about the Saints. I thought it was too easy to connect Luka to them.”
“But you don’t know what he was working on or looking into?”
“Not a clue.”
“Before you rule out the possibility that he discovered something about the Saints, think about that for a moment.”
Maks flattened his lips. “I’ve looked at Luka from every angle. There’s no reason for him to have texted me.”
“Unless he knew you had some kind of connection to the Saints.”
“If he was looking into the group and he thought I worked for them, then I’d be the last person he reached out to.”
Eden rose up on her elbow and said, “Unless he knew you weren’t working for them.”
Maks’ mind went blank. He’d believed he was so far undercover that no one would know what he was doing. Obviously, he’d been wrong. Shit. He needed to go back over everything starting…well, starting at the beginning.
He felt Eden’s eyes on him, and he met her hazel gaze. “If Luka knew I wasn’t working for the Saints, then his message could mean only one thing.”
“And what’s that?” she pushed.
“I’m in danger.”
25
Eden shifted to an upright position, not bothering to hide her nakedness as Maks sat up. The look on his face said that he hadn’t considered any of what they’d just discussed. He swung his head to her and raised his brows before looking away. She didn’t say anything else, just gave him time to process whatever thoughts were going through his head.
“It seemed too easy to think that Luka connected me to the Saints,” Maks said after a few minutes.
“He must have found something that linked you to them. And then somehow unraveled the truth.”
Maks turned to her so they faced each other. “You have to understand. Everything I’ve done over the last years has been to make everyone believe I was doing exactly what they wanted. The CIA believed I was fine spying on Russia. The FSB thought they had turned me into a double agent, and the Saints believed they were controlling me.”<
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“I’ve no doubt you were great at your deceptions, but need I point out that you helped the Loughmans?”
He frowned briefly. “Everyone there was killed. Even if I was seen, they couldn’t have reported it to anyone.”
“Are you sure no one got away?”
Maks opened his mouth to reply, then closed it. “I was sure enough that I went back to my position.”
“That’s what doesn’t make sense. You work for the CIA, the FSB, and the Saints. Who really determines what you’re doing?”
“I have handlers I check in with for the CIA and the FSB. The Saints have long stood in the shadows, but I’ve always known they were there. I did what they wanted, so they left me alone.”
Eden twisted her lips. “You slipped away to fight with the Loughmans. Don’t you think your absence was noted?”
“I’m often out of contact when I’m undercover on missions.”
That gave her pause. “Let me get this straight. You’ve been undercover for both the CIA and FSB since you joined them. And then, working for both agencies, you went undercover from there to do whatever assignment they wanted you to do?”
“Now do you understand why I said I don’t know who I am anymore? There are lies on top of lies on top of lies. Everyone is an enemy. I have to plan a dozen steps ahead in every situation. I’m closely watched, which is why I learned how to disappear when I needed to have some time, gather intel, or help out the Loughmans. I always came back before anyone got concerned that I’d be gone for good.”
“Because you knew they’d go after your family.”
Maks swallowed and nodded once. “Exactly. When you’re a spy like I am, your life isn’t your own. The country owns you. For me, I have two countries dictating my life, and a maniacal organization that wants to control me. There are only two ways to get out of this.”
“Take down the Saints.”
“Or die,” he told her.
Eden licked her lips. “I’m going to have to work on the run, and that’s fine. I can shift through documents on the computer once they’ve downloaded, but I need to get everything off the pen drives.”
“What about searches on the internet? Won’t you need that?”
“Yes, but I’ll try to limit that as much as I can. This place would be perfect for getting some work done, there isn’t a secure connection.”
Maks ran a hand through his blond locks. “We’re going to need to get to a city for that.”
That meant leaving the safety of the cave and going back out into the snow. Eden wasn’t looking forward to that in the least. But if she wanted to have any kind of life, that meant they had to leave the cave.
“We’ll wait here until the day after tomorrow. We’ll set out at dawn then,” he told her.
Eden’s insides melted at the idea of having all that time alone with Maks. It was a nice break in the hectic speed with which they’d been moving since he came into her life. The knowledge that every day she couldn’t get to the intel he’d collected was another day that the Saints ruled was always in the back of her mind, though.
Maks rose and added more logs to the fire. He’d stacked them neatly in a pile, and by the look of them, they had been there for some time. Which meant he’d had this place ready and waiting for just such an event. She glanced at the pile and knew they would have enough for at least another day.
He kneeled on the other side of the fire and looked over the flames at her. “The snow covered your tracks, which means they’ll cover mine for anyone looking for us. We’re safe here.”
For now, went unsaid.
“I know,” she told him and let her gaze move over his gorgeous body. The front of him was just as muscular and defined as his back. More so, actually.
“You should rest.”
She lifted one shoulder, noting that his gaze dropped to her bare breasts. “I’m not sleepy.”
One blond brow quirked at her statement.
“I didn’t say I wasn’t exhausted. I said I wasn’t sleepy. There’s a difference. There’s too much going on for my brain to shut down enough for me to sleep. At least, for the moment.”
He straightened, the movement purposeful and slow. The more she watched him, the more she realized that he wasted no energy. Everything he did, every move he made, had a reason and justification. She was curious about how he’d trained his brain to look at the world. Or perhaps he hadn’t trained it. Maybe he’d been born that way. Either way, it astounded her.
“What?” he asked with a tilt of his head.
She grinned and said, “I was just wondering how your brain works. You know, how you see things and make decisions. It’s much different than mine.”
“There is no doubt in that.” He walked around the fire and joined her back on the blanket. “I look for danger and enemies everywhere, and based on that, I can determine how to react and what actions are needed.”
“I understand that when we’ve been running from the Saints. But in everyday life, as well?”
Maks nodded. “Absolutely. Even when I’m not on assignment and have some free time, I never let my guard down. That’s when spies are killed. They believe they can forget for a little while. That’s not the case. It’s how I was able to determine that I had men following me in Amsterdam.”
“When this is over, do you plan on staying a spy?”
A nondescript sound came from the back of his throat. “You mean if I make it out of this alive.”
“You will. You’re a survivor. I’ve learned that about you.”
He lifted one shoulder in a shrug and looked away. “If I survive, I plan on disappearing to a remote region of the world to live out my days.”
That shocked her. “You wouldn’t go back to your family?”
“It’s better for them if they think I’m dead.”
“Not if the threat is over.”
“But it won’t ever be over. Not really. The CIA will be upset that I want out. They don’t just readily give up their agents. Then there’s the FSB. You think they’re going to freely let me go? Both agencies will worry about what I might tell the other country.”
Eden hadn’t thought about that part. “After all you’ve done, you’re the one person who deserves a happy ending.”
His gaze slid back to her. “I’m the last person who does. After all the lives I’ve taken, all the horrible deeds I’ve done?”
“You did it for a greater purpose.”
“There are arguments against that very statement.”
“I don’t give a shit about everyone else. I’m talking about you. You risked your life for me. Granted, you wanted something from me, but even after that, you could’ve walked away. You didn’t. You’re a guardian. You always have been, and you always will be.” She reached over and put her hand on his.
He turned his hand so their palms met, and then he slipped his fingers between hers. “You can be very convincing. Do you know that?”
“When I want someone to know the truth, yes,” she stated with a bright smile.
Maks tugged her against him as they stretched out once more. She found a comfortable spot with her head resting on his chest. They stayed there for a long time in silence. Her eyes closed, and she was more relaxed than she had been in days. It didn’t matter that it was freezing outside or that they were in a cave with no modern amenities. She was in the arms of a man who made her feel special. That was priceless and worth everything she’d endured.
Suddenly, his voice filled the cave. “It’s not that I don’t want a life after this. I do. Very much.”
“Then don’t give up on it.”
“The moment I set out on this path, I knew that it would likely mean my death. But if it frees the world from the Saints, then it’s worth the cost.”
His words made her heart hurt. Not because she didn’t understand why he said what he did, but because she didn’t want to think of a world without him. “You’ve survived this long. You might survive it all.”
&nbs
p; “That would be nice.”
“And if you could have the life you want? Do you know what you’d do? Where you’d go?”
His chest rose as he drew in a deep breath. “I’d go home to my family. If I were really lucky, I might find someone to spend my life with.”
It was crazy that Eden hoped that was her. She barely knew Maks, but she could actually envision a life with him. That’s usually how she made decisions. If she could envision whatever it was—be it a person or a thing—in her life, then she took the leap. She’d forced many, many relationships, thinking that just because she couldn’t see herself with someone, it didn’t mean it wouldn’t work.
When she thought about the future, she could see Maks and her together. Maybe it was the fact that her body was still floating from the intense pleasure it had received. Or perhaps it was because the truth was right before her.
“We should all be so lucky,” Eden finally responded.
“You don’t think you will?”
She chuckled and reached for the blanket to cover her feet that were getting chilled. “I don’t exactly have a good history when it comes to dating.”
“And long relationships?”
“Three. I dated a guy for two years in high school, but it didn’t last once we graduated. I met a guy my junior year of college, and we dated for a year and a half, but he really wanted a wife who stayed home and took care of the kids. That wasn’t me. Then I was with another guy for three years. I really thought that would work, but we realized that we were better as friends than lovers.”
Maks made a sound in the back of his throat. “Do you regret any of the relationships ending.”
“Nope. Was I hurt? Of course. There’s always hurt, but part of being in relationships is learning what you like, what you need, what you hate, and what you know you can and can’t do without.”
“I think I’m going to need to relearn all of that.”
She chuckled and glanced up at him. “I can safely say you’re on the right track.”
“Well, that’s good news,” he said with a wide grin.
The wind whistled outside the cave as the fire popped. Who would’ve thought she’d be in a cave in Romania with a hot-as-fuck spy while on the run from evil people?
