by Marian Tee
“Constantijin,” I growled back. “Delete it.”
“No.” I could totally imagine him grinning his wicked grin right now, especially when he said, “I’ll see you on Monday.”
“Don’t you dare hang up!”
But he did.
Day 23 of Courting
“Did you do this?” An irate Glenda appeared before my cubicle, waving a pink folder with lavender hearts in the air.
Since I was sure to be the only one with that kind of folder in Kastein Inc., I said with a gulp, “Yes?”
Her glare intensified. “Mr. Kastein said this is---” She sniffed. “The word he used is not something I am comfortable using.”
My jaw dropped.
Shit? Fucked up? Goddamn epic fail?
“You are to report to Mr. Kastein’s office, immediately.” She didn’t wait for me to answer. God, it was really like-boss-like-secretary with these two.
“Wait!” I had a hard time catching up with her, slowed down by my new pair of mules, which I unfortunately decided to break in today.
Bristling, Glenda stopped midway to Constantijin’s office. When I reached her side, she immediately started enumerating what Constantijin apparently did not like about my report. “The length of the report...” She sniffed.
“Sorry,” I mumbled even though I didn’t quite understand why the ten-page length of my report was a problem. Did they want it like Arian’s, which was shorter than a text message? She only submitted full-length reports when sucking up to managers.
As we walked past a group of interns, Glenda continued, “And that series you are recommending!” She shuddered.
My heart sank. Even my series recommendation was a problem? I honestly thought they would like City Hunter, considering how awesome the Korean adaptation was plus the fact that Kastein Inc. – with its own adaptation – could create a better ending, thus giving Asian markets a new reason to revisit the series.
We reached Constantijin’s suite of offices. “Go in, go in,” she said irritably, practically pushing me in. When the door closed behind her, Glenda startled me by winking.
“Sorry, dear. It was the boss’ orders to make your visit here inconspicuous.”
“Then…then my report wasn’t really bad?”
“Oh, no, Constantijin loved it. He just said I should torture you on the way here.”
“Glenda!”
“Blame the boss, dear,” Glenda said over her shoulder as she returned to her desk, already focused on her tasks.
When I entered Constantijin’s office, he was already grinning.
I totally saw red.
“Not now, sweetheart,” Constantijin said, easily catching my slapping hand as I reached him. “I have something better in mind.” And then he was kissing me with ravaging hunger, taking me by surprise and completely sweeping me off my feet.
Lesson #5
Yes is the only word your billionaire wants to understand.
When you say ‘no’,
he will think you are saying ‘never’.
Constantijin half carried me to his couch, dropping himself on it and I landed on his lap sideways without our kiss breaking.
“You drive me insane with wanting, schat.”
“You, too,” I gasped, arching as his lips left a trail of kisses and nibbles on my neck.
He twisted me around on his lap, leaving me lying with my back against his chest, legs spread open with his in between. I moaned when I felt his hand pulling my tucked blouse free from my skirt. And then he was cupping me, pushing my bra away almost angrily so that his hands could completely cover my flesh.
“Constantijin.”
“I want a going-away gift,” he said as he started tweaking my nipples.
“What?” I managed to ask, finding it so hard to concentrate when he pinched my nipples rather hard.
“I want to see you come before I go.”
Oh my God, oh my God---
“Say you’ll let me?” He breathed into my ear, making me shudder.
“Constantijin…”
“I want to remember your face as I make you come, Yanna.”
When he said those words, when he said it like that, his thick Dutch accent a rough/tender caress all on its own, all I could do was nod, twisting sideways so I could look at him.
One of his hands dipped into my lacy briefs.
“Aaaah.” I didn’t make any attempt to lower my voice, not when I knew his office was totally soundproofed and not when I knew by now how much Constantijin liked hearing me express my pleasure with his touch. I kind of liked it, too. Well, to be honest – I really liked it.
Wetting his fingers with my moisture, Constantijin bit my ear lightly just as one finger penetrated me, so deeply only the size of his knuckles prevented him from going further in.
Letting out a long moan, I writhed in his lap, legs parting even more widely so he could touch me more deeply.
“Do you like how I finger-fuck you, Yanna?”
“Yes,” I sobbed. He never failed to reduce me to a tearful mess with his touch.
“Are you ready for more, sweetheart?”
“Yessss---aaaaah!” Two, no, three---oh my God, four!
My sex stretched to accommodate him, being so very eager to please as was the rest of my body. His fingers started to move in synchrony as he fucked me long and hard.
“Please, please.” I couldn’t help screaming the words out as his thumb started rubbing my clit without stopping the thrusts of his fingers.
My hips began to move, almost demandingly bouncing up and down on his slick fingers.
“After this goddamn courtship, once you realize how much I want you, I’m going to tie you to bed and fuck you until you’ll be begging me to stop.”
My body started to shake at his words, and I knew I was so, so near to coming.
Constantijin’s hand tightened around my left breast even as his fingers continued its punishing rhythm – something I couldn’t get enough of.
“I won’t listen to what you say, though. I won’t stop even if you beg me with your mouth.”
Oh, oh, oh. Imagining his cock in my mouth thrilled me so much it had me riding his fingers with even more frantic speed.
“Constantijin.”
He pulled my nipple, its painfully aroused state reacting even more sensitively to his touch.
“My cock has been burning for you for weeks. It will take twice as long before I will be able to stand letting you go for more than a minute without having you.”
He pushed hard against my clit at the same time his fingers thrust wildly into me.
I came with another scream, my body racked by the tremors of my orgasm.
Later, much, much later, Constantijin carefully fixed my appearance before pulling me back into the couch with him. I lied in his arms, loving the sound of his rapid heartbeat.
“Where will you go?” I mumbled against his chest.
“New York. My company is sponsoring several charity functions so my attendance is required.”
I bit my lip because I almost said I’d miss him. Instead, I said, “Take care.”
He stopped stroking my hair to ask, "You'll behave like a good girl when I'm away?"
I rolled my eyes. "Shouldn't I be the one warning you? I'm not the one with a playboy reputation here."
"Naturally, since you're a woman."
"Constantijin!
"Yanna!"
I had to smile at that. "But have a safe trip, okay?"
His face hardened all of a sudden. "You didn’t answer my question. Promise me you're not entertaining any other suitors."
Even three weeks into our courtship and Constantijin still had trouble trusting me. He never stopped asking about my “other” suitors --- even though he should by now I would always have the same answer for him.
“You know that’s none of your business.” And it wasn’t – not until he was ready to commit to something more permanent than being fuck buddies to each other.
/> “Just give me a fucking name, even a goddamn number---”
I lifted myself up so I could face him. “Constantijin, don’t.” I said it as gently as I could. He had to learn to trust me – the way I was struggling so hard to trust him despite what all the media stories were saying about him.
A flash of irritation crossed Constantijin's eyes. "Yanna."
“You know you don’t have any right to say that.” I did my best to keep my voice gentle. I hated fighting with him, but I had to stand my ground on this. He had a domineering personality, and I couldn't let him get away with everything.
His eyes shuttered. "Fine."
I was tempted to take it back but I didn't. "I’ll miss you.”
The words usually made him smile, but this time it only made him feel more distant.
And then before I knew it, he was gone.
Lesson #6
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,
But heaven hath nothing as gorgeous as a billionaire made jealous.
My weekend felt empty without a single call or message from Constantijin. It made my heart cry out in fear, but I did my best to suppress it. I kept asking Constantijin to have faith. Yet here I was, unable to trust him just because he could be too busy with work to do so.
Monday arrived, and I had never been so keen to go to work. But I was in for a surprise, with Glenda telling me gently that Constantijin had been delayed and would be staying in New York indefinitely.
The office wasn’t the same without him. Even food – my greatest comfort in life – wasn’t as comforting as it had been all these years. For the first time in my entire existence, even my favorite lasagna tasted like layers of recycled paper mixed with cheap cardboard.
I managed to resist Google-stalking him until Thursday. I had to know what was going on with him. Just one little peek, I promised to myself as my fingers expertly paved a secret pathway into his world.
In a few seconds, what I did and did not need to see stared back at me in painfully vivid colors.
Rows of photos of Constantijin attending different functions, looking dashingly debonair in his tuxes and suits, filled the page. And always present in his arm was the lovely Selena, elegant and beautiful in a similarly golden way, their blond heads melting together whenever they posed together for photos.
When I clicked the link on another tabloid coverage of the same events, I found a paparazzi photo of the two entering what was labeled as Selena’s hotel room – at three in the morning.
“You okay, Yanna?” George asked with a frown from his cubicle when he heard me let out a gasp of hurt.
Quickly closing the tab, I answered in a wobbly voice, “Yup.”
I didn’t cry at work, and for the first time in my life, I managed not to tell anyone about it. I couldn’t. It was too…
Oh God, I couldn’t even think of a word for it.
But when I reached my home that night, I quickly locked the door, pulled up the covers, and that’s when I let the tears fall, for the rest of the night.
~~~~
Glenda managed to corner me the next day even though I did my very best to avoid her. Constantijin had been calling and mailing me all day until I was forced to remove the battery of my phone and throw all of it inside my drawer. If I wasn’t so practical, I would have changed my number as well. But that was too impractical and I didn’t do impractical. I did stupid, silly, foolish but only because I had extremely bad taste in men.
“The boss is looking for you,” was all Glenda said as she practically manhandled me into Constantijin’s office. She was frighteningly strong for a woman her age.
Rubbing my wrists, I almost jumped in surprise when Constantijin’s hands settled on my shoulders, whispering as he turned me around to face him, “Miss me?”
For a moment, my heart twisted in all kinds of agony as I gazed at his beautiful face, his golden-copper-tinted hair gleaming even more brightly with the sun’s rays shining into Constantijin’s office. His blazer was hanging at the back of his chair, leaving him in his silk shirt, its sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
He looked the same yet different, too, like he was…like he was glad to see me but wasn’t sure if I would feel the same.
Smart of him.
I stepped back from his hold. Standing so close to Constantijin, I felt immeasurably small in my flats. If I had known he’d be coming back today, I would have worn heels instead. And – and I would have worn something jaw-droppingly sexy instead of a rather ordinary three-piece.
“You didn’t miss me then?” A quizzical smile appeared on his lips.
Lips that could have touched another woman’s lips, cheeks, body---
I almost lost my balance, the wave of pain crashing down on me a tangible weight.
“Are you all right?” He reached out for me.
I took another step back, my skin crawling at the thought of being touched by hands that could have touched another woman’s just the night before.
Unlike him, I wasn’t the type to beat around the bush so I just said baldly, “I saw you.” I took a deep breath. “I saw you online – a bunch of photos that showed you and Selena together and even one photo showed you entering her hotel room.”
Constantijin stilled, a blank mask falling over his gorgeous face. Then he said simply, "I see."
“What do you mean, you see?” I exploded, almost falling to my knees at the pain his words caused.
His hands went inside his pockets. "I didn't peg you to be the type to ascribe to double standards."
It took me several moments to understand his meaning. I whitened when I did. Basically, he was telling me that since I didn't promise fidelity while he was away, it meant that he wasn't obliged to do the same. Cultural differences may be at work here, but --- dammit, couldn't he have asked?
"It's not like that," I told him flatly.
"It's exactly like that!”
"No, it's not!" My fists clenched in impotent anger and hurt. "You're the one courting me!"
"So?"
I couldn’t believe he could just stand there so arrogantly, not even bothering to defend himself or apologize. "You just don't get it, do you?" I asked wearily.
“You are the one who doesn’t get it,” he said between clenched teeth. He was angry – really angry, and that made me more tired. “I told you that I am not to be played---”
“And you weren’t. You were never…” I wheezed for air, the pain of what he was wordlessly admitting to choking me. “I didn't want to promise you I wouldn't entertain suitors because I didn't want you to know how much I liked you. Just that. But I never entertained any suitors. I didn't even date anyone or talk to any guy beside you. You can ask anyone here and it's the truth."
Constantijin was pale by the time I finished, which I regretted honestly because even after what I did, it was never my intention to hurt him. I just – I just wanted him to know that it could have been really good between us.
“So, if there’s nothing you can think of saying anymore---” An expected sob escaped, and when Constantijin looked stricken at the sound, I whirled around, unable to bear the look of pity on his face.
To hell with this.
I hurried out of the room as quick as my new mules could carry me. Walking straight into the rest room, I locked myself in the first available cubicle that I could reach.
And then I cried again.
I kept my phone dead the whole weekend and when I came to work Monday, Glenda was standing watch at my door. “The boss wants to see you so make up an excuse and then---”
“Glenda,” I whispered.
She stopped speaking, her eyebrows shooting up when she had a closer look of my face. Puffy eyes, red nose, trembling lips – that was how I looked when I stared at myself in the mirror this morning, and I doubted I looked any better now.
“Glenda, please. It’s over between us.”
She took another look at me before nodding, turning her back and walking away. The calls and texts ca
me next, all of which I rejected and deleted. The flowers followed, and I donated them to the charity occupying an office in 7/F.
On Thursday, Charli told me I had a call in her office. Thinking it was the client she had assigned to me earlier to negotiate with, I took it quickly, aiming to sound very professional as I said, “Good morning, this is Yanna Everleigh---”
“Yanna.”
It was him.
“Don’t put the phone down.” His voice sounded raw, like he had wounded his throat from talking.
Too much pillow talk talking with his dear lovely Selena, probably. The thought hardened me, giving me the strength to answer him with silence.
“I’m sorry,” he rasped. “I was an idiot.”
Never had I expected him to apologize, much less admit to being an idiot – which he had been. But it was too late. “It’s over,” I said, forcing my tone to stay flat and emotionless even though I had an exceptionally strong urge to bawl like a baby.
He was always so unfair.
He would make me fall, push me away, then he’d come back and make me fall for him again.
“Please don’t bother me again,” I whispered before ending the call.
Charli dealt me a speculative look when I put the phone down. “The, err, client wasn’t a good match?”
She knew.
I forced a smile. “He terminated me first.”
~~~~
Friday came again, this time with a major company event. It was the birthday of the Chairman of the Board, with everyone’s presence strictly required and the dress code formal. I would have given any excuse to skip it – strangely, the thought of seeing his parents hurt. But I couldn’t, not when Charli told me with such a proud smile how she had managed to convince the Board to make me the host instead of hiring a professional.
I came to the event dressed to kill. The Grecian style of my amethyst-toned gown added the illusion of a more generous cleavage to my slimmer curves while my silver heels lent me a few extra inches. The added height was necessary. I wanted to be sure the microphone stand wouldn’t end up taller than me. Been there, done that, never wanted to feel like a midget on stage again.
George helped with my hair, which he had tied halfway up while leaving the rest to curl around my shoulders. He even gave me a hand with my makeup, managing to make my eyes look large and luminous with a dark eyeliner and dramatic eye shadow.
