The flute slipped out of her hand and into her lap, but Cara caught it before it rolled onto the floor.
He’d never talked to her like that. Yet since they’d become lovers, they hadn’t been physically separated so long.
Her body and expressions had given away her clear desire. She couldn’t blame Drake for feeling the same burn, especially when there was no clear indication of when they might be able to quench that mutual fire.
Drake rose, and she willed herself to look away. He put his hand on the back of her chair and leaned over to whisper in her ear.
“Sure you don’t want to go back to my house later?”
“Yes, but I’d better not,” she said in a voice stronger than she felt.
He leaned over further. “I’m tired of waiting.”
Confused, she turned to see him looking down at her with something beyond lust, although that was the primary emotion written across his face—and in his lower bits as well, she could tell.
“That’s apparent,” she snapped back as she heard her mother’s footsteps in the hall.
Drake hastily retreated to his chair, and she was happy for his departure. His last comment rattled her, although perhaps her slight befuddlement was attributable to her still-buzzing mind.
Vera announced that Nate was down for his nap.
“And I could do with one as well.” Vera rolled her shoulders, then looked disgustedly at the kitchen. “I’m leaving this mess to you two and going to the guest room for a nap. You two get busy.”
Drake slapped his hand over his mouth and turned away at Vera’s comment. If Cara hadn’t known that her mother was truly tired, she would’ve suspected Vera had intended the double meaning, especially after her earlier comments that day.
But her mother left the kitchen, once more leaving Cara alone with the still-seated Drake. She cast a weary eye on the kitchen, rose, and got to work. But in the next instant, Drake was by her side.
“Not going to miss an opportunity to get busy with you,” he said with a sideways look, grabbing one of the aprons off the counter. With her back to him, she rolled her eyes as she put on her red apron.
Over the course of the next half hour, the duo tidied up from the feast. By that time, the combination of food, alcohol, exertion, and low-level, lingering lust had taken their toll. She sacked out on the couch, where Drake covered her with a blanket.
“And just what are you going to do?” she asked as she snuggled against a throw pillow.
Drake lowered himself into a recliner opposite the couch.
“Like everyone else, sleep. Rest up.”
“You think you need rest for the remainder of the evening?”
“Yes,” he said, putting his head back against the chair and clasping his hands atop his chest. “I need my strength for later. I still plan to take you on that walk if you’ll do me the honor.”
“We’ll see,” she sleepily replied, unwilling to argue and ready for her nap.
22
It was dark outside when she awoke, the only light coming from the kitchen, and the soft, deep breaths of Drake told her he was dozing in the recliner. Realizing she was the only one awake, Cara remained warmly nestled on the couch, quite content to enjoy the rare silence and stillness.
Her champagne buzz was gone, replaced by a slight headache. In the distance, she heard the chiming of the clock at the Craig County Courthouse and she had that moment when she realized that she was a judge—but not a district court judge who sat in that very courthouse.
An unexpected nostalgia for her old job gripped her. She was going to have to move to an office provided by the court system across the street. Until the new space was ready shortly before Christmas, she’d still be in her office in the Craig County Courthouse but probably spend most of that time cleaning up and getting ready for her move.
Cara was going to miss the camaraderie of the clerks, the deputy sheriffs, the attorneys, and her fellow judges. But she also knew that she would enjoy the quiet solitude her new digs and job would offer her. If she ever needed a little courthouse fix, all she’d have to do is walk across the street, preferably with a box of bourbon bacon maple glazed donuts, and saunter into the clerk’s office with the goodies. Her surroundings might be changing, but her friends would not.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of little feet padding on the hardwood floor, along with a dragging noise. Cara could see in her mind’s eye Nate tentatively walking up the hall, his blanket or some soft toy in tow. She closed her eyes, waiting for him to crawl up onto the couch and snuggle with her.
She heard Nate enter the room, his breathing as recognizable to her as her own. Yet instead of the child coming to her side, she remained undisturbed. Cracking an eye open just barely, she saw Nate was standing next to the recliner, gently poking at the sleeping man.
Drake grunted. “What? Nate?”
“Wanna cuddle,” Nate said in a sob. “I had a bad dream.”
Drake pushed his feet down in the next second and held his arms out.
“Get up here, buddy,” he said, and Nate clambered into the chair.
Nate put his head on Drake’s chest, and even though the light was scant in the room, Cara could tell by the sound of Nate’s breathing and his body language that he was upset.
“You okay?” Drake asked, rubbing Nate’s back, and the boy nodded. “Bad dream?”
“Yeah. It was dark. And I was lost. Couldn’t find you.”
“You were looking for me?” Drake asked.
“Uh-huh,” Nate confirmed and snuggled closer to Drake.
“Where was Mommy?”
“I couldn’t find her either,” Nate said.
Drake pulled Nate closer to him. “We’re all here together.”
Cara stayed on the couch, not envying Drake the moment with Nate, but marveling at the intimacy. He was fully part of her family, her heart, her world. Nate had fully accepted him as a father figure.
And yet there was still something outside the walls of their home and hearts that kept them apart. She felt the stab of anger, wondering when circumstances would change.
“I’m hungry,” Nate whimpered.
Cara sat up, amused and irritated at Nate’s announcement. “How can you be hungry?” she asked. “You ate more than me!”
“And I think he might’ve eaten more than me too,” Drake said.
Nate pushed off Drake’s chest and immediately went to his mother.
“Hungry!” he cried as he flung himself at Cara.
“I think he’s probably just having a hankering for that good turkey you made,” Drake said, sitting up in the recliner and turning on the lamp next to the chair.
“Flattery will get you nowhere, counselor,” said Cara. She pushed up off the couch.
“I don’t think I ever tried that in court,” Drake said.
“And you should know better than to try it here.”
“I want turkey! I’m hungry!” Nate exclaimed, pulling on the hem of Cara’s turtleneck.
“You’re not the only one, kid,” Drake muttered.
“Drake!” Cara hissed, pointing to Nate as they all traipsed into the kitchen.
“Perhaps I was referring to my own hankering for some of that luscious bird.”
Cara went to the refrigerator as Drake helped Nate into his highchair.
“I’ll again remind you of your duty to be candid with the court, counselor.”
“I was being quite forthright, Your Honor.”
Cara retrieved the plate full of turkey slices and got some milk for Nate. She took a seat at the table along with her two companions and watched as Nate consumed several chunks of turkey. Drake refused her offer of a snack, declaring himself quite full, and Vera returned.
“Eating again already?” Vera asked.
Cara pointed at Nate. “Only some of us.”
Drake turned to her, smiling and hopeful. “Would you like to go on that walk now?”
“You two go on ahead,” said Ve
ra, sitting down at the table with them. “We’ve all been cooped up in here most of the day, and a nice walk will do you both a world of good.”
Cara knew that her mother was trying to get her out of the house and alone with Drake. Nonetheless, Cara found it very hard to resist the efforts of her mother and beau, and she agreed to the stroll after a short bathroom trip.
They walked out into the snowy evening together, Cara with her arm through Drake’s and her hand in his coat pocket.
“Which way?” Drake asked once they reached the end of her front walk and stood on the sidewalk.
“Go to the left,” she said, dipping her head in that direction. “Several houses this way are nicely decorated for the holidays. Nate loves for us to drive down here and look at the lights.”
With nothing but the sound of their footsteps against concrete and snow, they ambled along the street together, the snow softly falling. They reached the end, which dead-ended at an open field. Across the expanse, she could see the edge of another small subdivision on the eastern edge of Bourbon Springs, the lights of the season twinkling in the darkness.
“You ever take Nate here sledding?” Drake asked.
“I’ve taken him a few times. But it sounds like you’d like to do it. Am I right?”
“Do you really have to ask? I am the guy that introduced him to the wonder of all those frogs at the city park. Always on the lookout for fun and mischief.”
“I’m sure he’d love for you two to play out here. You planning on coming over tomorrow?”
“Is that an invitation I hear?”
“Maybe. But just for sledding.”
He sighed, and she sensed they were about to enter into the discussion that had been in the offing all evening.
“Cara, I meant what I said about being tired of waiting.”
“You’re not alone there, but—”
“This isn’t about me trying to talk you into coming back to my place tonight.”
“So what is it about?”
Even though it was dark, she could still see his face. The ambient light of the houses and streetlights, combined with the reflection of the snowy surfaces, produced just enough illumination that she could see his jaw set and his eyes slightly narrowed.
The look surprised her although it was familiar. She had seen that look before the courtroom, when he had readied himself to make a difficult argument or motion and had expected resistance or even failure.
“I’ll be honest with you, Cara,” he said, his eyes fixed on her face and his arms wrapped around her. “I came here today fully hoping and expecting that I could somehow lure you back to my place tonight. I am absolutely desperate to be with you again. I want to make love to you again, and I think I made that perfectly clear earlier today.
“But I also just want you back in my life. I’ve missed you more than I can express. I’ve already told you how much I love you and that I understand—or understood—why you wanted to keep this crazy distance between us. But now that you’re on the Court of Appeals, I just don’t understand why we have to keep up this pretense of keeping our lives separate when all we want to do is be with each other. I mean, I’m hoping that’s what you still feel.”
“Of course I still feel that way,” she said, slipping her arms around his waist. “I hate being apart. These past few weeks of my life have been some of the hardest times I’ve had since my husband’s death. I’m not even sure I can explain this, but in some way I feel cheated. I finally fall in love again, this time with a great guy—”
“This time?”
“I don’t think I need to tell you that I think you’re a million times greater than Todd ever was.”
“Maybe you do,” Drake said slowly. “Although I understand that your feelings for him are probably going to be forever tainted by what you discovered after he died, I guess I still don’t understand.”
“I’ve never felt like this with any man before, Drake.” She paused and swallowed. “You’re the love of my life.”
“And I feel the same way about you. I’ve never fallen so hard for anyone. I found exactly what I need in you—as well as Nate and Vera. I never thought I’d find a ready-made family,” he joked, slightly chuckling. “And I can’t believe that after finding someone so damned beautiful, sexy, and smart that we still can’t be together like we want to be. Like we should be.”
“I want to be with you too, and this separation is killing me. But I—”
“Listen to yourself, Cara. How are we supposed to go on like this?”
“We’ve talked about this. Until the investigation is over and—”
“And we’re right back to what I was saying. I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of putting my life on hold for that.”
She bristled. “So you’re tired of putting your life on hold for me? My dreams?”
“Cara, that’s not—”
“Do you know how much I want this now? Now that I’ve made it, in spite of all the damn obstacles that have been put in my way?” She pulled away from him and wrapped her arms around herself, gazing into the snowy field in front of them.
Drake moved directly in front of her until he was standing in a few inches of snow. He dropped to one knee and took her hand.
“Then marry me. That’s the way we can stop this, solve this stupid problem. That’s the way we can be together, the way we were meant to be together, the way we want to be together, the way we’ve talked and hoped and dreamed about. We can’t let some—”
She snatched her hand away. “You decide to pop the question as some kind of solution to a problem?”
“Yes, the solution to us not being together!” he cried, rising from the snowy turf. “We get married, that ends any problem about the damned complaint! You know the evidence rules! They couldn’t make me testify about you as your husband!”
“And how would that look to the world?” she snapped. “That would be quite the headline: judge’s husband invokes privilege in ethics investigation!”
“Fuck the damned investigation!” Drake screamed. “Is that all you can think about?”
“And my career isn’t some stupid problem to be resolved!”
“That’s not what I meant!”
“You used that word, not me! Not exactly the proposal I’d dreamed about.”
“So… you had dreamed about it.”
“Of course…,” she said in a gravelly voice as she tried to choke down tears.
He reached for her, but she turned away in the direction of home. “I want to go back to the house now.”
“Cara, please, I’m sorry. Let’s—”
“I’m tired. I don’t want to talk. It’s late and cold. I’m leaving.”
She started walking, leaving him behind. Cara had made it several yards down the sidewalk until he fell in beside her, and she expected him to start pleading or begging or arguing at any second. Instead, he said nothing, which made it all the worse.
Was this the final break? His words, his impatience, and now his silence gave her that cold message, and by the time they had reached her house, Cara’s face was wet with tears and she had no idea what would happen next.
She had her answer when they arrived at her driveway. Drake stopped once he reached his Jeep.
“The offer stands.”
“The offer?”
“Yes. I want to marry you. That hasn’t changed. But maybe you have.”
Drake threw open his door, leaving her standing on the path to her front door. Cara watched him as he sped away, fearing that she’d just lost the love of her life and knowing she’d failed to honor the day by displaying that most basic emotion.
Gratitude for what she had.
23
Cara dreaded the campaign committee meeting scheduled two days after Thanksgiving. She didn’t want to see anyone. It had been hard enough telling her mother what had happened with Drake—that they had, in her mind and heart, broken up. Possibly fielding additional inquiries about him and revealing their estra
ngement would be nothing short of torture.
Yet there she was at the distillery, the busiest place in Craig County, trying to pretend that her personal life hadn’t fallen apart less than forty-eight hours earlier. Drake hadn’t called or texted or anything during that time, and she wasn’t going to be the one to make the first contact. Not out of pride.
She had no idea what she’d say.
Trying to focus on the purpose of the meeting, Cara crossed the lobby and entered the conference room, where she found Harriet and Hannah waiting on her.
“I told him to take it easy—but did he listen?” griped Hannah.
“So how bad is Kyle’s sprain?” Harriet asked.
“Not so bad that he can’t work. He says he’s going on duty tomorrow, but I don’t know how he’s going to arrest anyone or—heaven forbid—fire a gun with that injured wrist.”
“Goose feels guilty about it,” confirmed Harriet.
“Boys being boys playing football on Thanksgiving,” Hannah concluded with a shake of the head. “Where’s Drake?”
“I don’t think he’ll be here, so we can start,” Cara said, eyes on the table.
“So it’s just us girls today,” Harriet said, pointing to the coffee service on the table next to the wall. “Jon’s on a short trip with Pepper, so he won’t be here.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Harriet said, taking a seat with coffee and a small bagel. “I can tell you everything you need to know about Bruce Colyard.”
“He’s always seemed to me like the kind of lawyer who didn’t want to sully his image by stepping foot in district court,” Cara said, grabbing coffee and taking a seat opposite Harriet.
Bourbon Springs Box Set: Volume III, Books 7-9 (Bourbon Springs Box Sets Book 3) Page 79
