by Candace Robb
For once, he agreed with her. ‘What is Da doing in Bruges?’
‘Avoiding the English, I thought. Hoping to avoid all the unpleasantness and protect some of his wealth.’
‘You know of nothing in his possession that might be evidence against him, from either side? Or that might reveal secrets of either side?’
‘Why are there sides? Why must men always take sides?’
Fergus closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and asked her again. And again. The conversation meandered on for a long while, but the only thing that he learned was that his mother lacked any curiosity about his father’s activities. He left her meditating on mankind’s failure to heed Christ’s message of love, which would render war unnecessary. He thought her a strange one to speak of love.
5
VOWS
Margaret had made excuses to Roger and climbed High Street to St Giles Kirk, where she might have some peace in which to think. Her warring feelings confused her too much to make sense of anything at the moment.
In different circumstances she might have been unconditionally delighted by Roger’s suggestion that they set out for Perth together. Only yesterday she had sought an escort for a homeward journey – but she had perhaps already found one, and there was the rub. She should be glad to have a commitment from him – James had said only that he would consider it. Even more, she should prefer travelling with her husband to their home. It was what she had come to Edinburgh to do, to find him, to coax him home. Not that she had expected to succeed in drawing him back to Perth, but that had been the end for which she had prayed most fervently. Clearly she had lost the habit of counting on Roger. Indeed she was working against him in the matter of the king; she did not even trust him with the truth of her allegiance. She felt prickly and unable to think clearly.
Lifting her head, she found herself already past the quiet market place and in the shadow of St Giles. Slipping into the nave, she had a moment of panic such as she had never experienced before in God’s house. The high arching ceilings, the empty vastness that the candles and windows illuminated in such a way as to make the unlit spaces seem darker than the night-time streets, the chill of the stones not kissed by sunlight since placed there, all conspired to disorient her as to season, time of day, even whether she were still on earth or had stepped off its face into another, dark and sinister world. She bowed her head and prayed for the terror to pass, for God to forgive her for whatever trespass had earned her such fear in His house.
A man and woman brushed past her, moving towards a chapel in the north aisle, arguing in hushed voices that were louder than their normal voices. ‘I did not call you a liar, it’s your brother who tells the tales.’
The touch of humanity broke the terrifying spell. Was that her sin, the tension between her and Roger? Margaret crossed herself and sought Mary’s altar, kneeling before it with pathetic relief. Feeling like a child who looked to an adult to make everything better, she prayed to the Virgin Mary for peace and joy in her marriage, then amended her prayer to a request for guidance in restoring her marriage. Even as she whispered the words Margaret knew her duty was to go with her husband, to make an effort to heal their rift. Roger’s temporary desertion did not free her from her vows. Her promise to assist James had not been made in the sanctity of a sacrament, but her marriage vows had been. The clarity with which she now saw her duty must be the Blessed Mother’s inspiration, and she was ashamed by the resentment in her heart. She pulled her paternoster beads from the embroidered scrip at her waist and began a rosary for her soul, praying that she might find the strength to follow the Blessed Mother’s advice. Gradually, with the repetition of prayers, her eyes grew heavy and her mind numbed. She must have dozed, for she started with a sudden awareness of James kneeling beside her on the wide prie-dieu. His nearness – they almost touched elbows – was disturbing and yet comforting.
‘It is strange to find you here,’ she whispered.
‘I wondered whether you are still in need of an escort to Perth,’ said James, ‘or whether your husband’s presence has changed your plans.’
How quickly he’d learned of Roger’s return. ‘Is there anything you don’t know?’
‘What you’ve done to inspire such loyalty in your maid.’ His voice teased.
‘She refused to answer prying questions?’
‘Not only that, she lied about the identity of Aylmer’s master.’
Margaret smiled down at her folded hands. Celia was a trustworthy friend.
‘None of my servants would do so much for me,’ James added.
‘Roger has suggested we go home to Perth,’ Margaret said, answering his original query.
‘Ah.’ James nodded. ‘Do you ken his purpose in coming to Edinburgh? Is it for the Bruce?’
‘He says he missed me.’ Margaret shoved her beads into her scrip.
‘I did not mean to doubt that he has missed you.’
Margaret felt herself blush. ‘I did not take it so.’
‘I am glad of that.’ He sounded sincere. ‘You are a brave and honourable woman, and I am sure that only the demands of his lord have kept your husband away so long.’
Margaret did not wish to discuss her marital situation with James. ‘I’ll find a way to help our king regain the throne, no matter where I am. He is the rightful king, no matter what Robert Bruce thinks.’
James turned slightly towards her with a puzzled expression. ‘I am glad of that, though I did not mean to suggest you would not be true. I am concerned about your being near the king’s troops in the company of the Bruce’s men. I assume that Aylmer shares your husband’s loyalties.’
‘I know nothing of him. I’m glad I’ll have Celia to attend me.’
‘Have you spoken to Roger of your allegiance to the king?’
‘No. Nor do I plan to.’
James cocked his head. ‘So that is how it is to be.’
‘Yes.’ She peered upwards, fearing the return of the terror to warn her against even this rift in her marriage, but the nave appeared as usual.
‘Then I am glad Celia will be with you,’ James was saying. ‘It is good to have someone you trust watching your back. God keep you.’ He rose, genuflected, and withdrew.
With his departure, Margaret felt small and alone in the cavernous nave, though the feeling was nothing like her earlier terror. Footsteps behind her made her turn in their direction with dread, but she was relieved to see a tall, gaunt, black-gowned figure emerge from the shadow of a pillar.
‘Benedicite, Margaret,’ Father Francis said, making the sign of the cross in the air before her. ‘Our supplicants are fewer with each new horror. I rejoice to see you seeking grace to fortify your soul against the darkness.’
Rising to meet him, she greeted him a little breathlessly.
‘I expected you last evening for your reading lesson,’ Francis said.
She had forgotten. ‘Forgive me. My husband – Roger returned last night.’
Francis pressed his hands to his heart. ‘What good news! Oh, my child, I rejoice for you.’
‘Yes, yes of course it is good news.’
The priest tilted his head to one side. ‘What is wrong?’
She needed practice in hiding her emotions. ‘It is difficult to believe that Roger is back. I had given up hope.’ Not wishing to explain more, she hurried on with the news of the sheriff’s order closing the tavern.
‘It seems to me Sir Walter Huntercombe is making much of an old man’s death,’ said Francis. ‘What is one violent death among so many? I would not have expected him to notice.’ He studied the floor for a moment. ‘It is said that when Sir Walter was told that Mary Brewster had found the old man, he ordered her brought to the castle for a long questioning.’
‘Poor Mary.’
‘It did not happen. Her screams and foul language dissuaded the soldiers from following orders. An instance of a vile trait protecting the wicked from greater evil.’
‘I am glad she saved herself.
Why do you call her wicked?’
‘I cannot say. Forgive me,’ said Francis. ‘I did not mean to trouble you, not when you have such glad tidings. How goes your husband?’
She must put aside her doubts. ‘He says he is well, though he has lost much flesh. He speaks of returning to Perth.’
Francis sighed. ‘Soon only the English and the clergy will remain in Edinburgh. You will be missed, Margaret. But Perth may be a safer place for you.’
She wondered whether that was true, and whether Roger would stay there with her. He might merely wish her away from Edinburgh. Perhaps he knew of some trouble from which he wished to remove her. Or despite her efforts to conceal her loyalty, guessed it and meant to interfere.
‘Margaret?’
She pulled herself from her thoughts.
Father Francis looked concerned. ‘How stands it between you and your husband?’
She could not find it in herself to lie to her confessor. ‘Awkward. I pray that will pass.’
‘Of course it must be difficult.’
Difficult? That was the best she could say of it. ‘I am ashamed of myself, Father,’ she burst out. ‘My husband has returned – it is what I prayed for – and yet all I notice are his faults.’ But that was not true. She had wanted him last night. ‘I do love him.’
‘He has given you much pain. You cannot expect to forgive him completely as soon as he reappears. Be patient, Margaret. God’s grace is more easily gained in times of peace.’
‘Do you not have that backwards?’
‘Troublous times test one’s vows.’
She wondered whether that last part referred to James, how closely they had knelt together on the prie-dieu. But if she denied being James’s lover, Father Francis might think she protested out of guilt.
‘Roger is your husband before God,’ Francis continued. ‘You must forgive his past transgressions and pray that he forgives yours.’ He blessed her again. ‘God go with you, my child.’ He continued down the nave.
Margaret felt cheated out of an absolution that she had not realised she wished for. Platitudes, that is all the priest had offered her. Yet it was true that she and Roger had taken their marriage vows before God.
By the time she reached the tavern it was early afternoon. Weary of searching her soul, she sought out her uncle. She was stiff-kneed with tension as the English guard watched her crossing and recrossing the yard. She found her uncle kneading dough in his kitchen while he watched the soldier through a knothole in one of the boards that blocked an unused window. Margaret had not noticed the hole before and wondered whether it was as natural as it looked. In fact it was precisely at the level of her uncle’s eyes when he bent over the table to his work, sprinkling some water on the dough. She doubted nature had been so cooperative. On noticing her presence, he straightened.
‘God is not smiling on me this day,’ he said, his voice gravelly.
‘The damp night has gone to your chest,’ said Margaret.
‘It’s shouting at that devil’s spawn of a captain all morning that has stolen my voice.’ Murdoch bent his knees to peer out of the hole at the guard by the tavern. ‘I’ve a mind to go to the castle and shout some more, but I must needs wait until my pipes are healed.’ He straightened and nodded for her to sit down. ‘Ale?’
She nodded. ‘Are you going to tell me about moving your treasures last night?’
He poured and handed her the tankard. ‘No need – I ken you’ve already been told. Your man Hal, was it?’
‘Celia saw you.’
Murdoch frowned down at his hands. ‘By St Vigean, I grow too old for this life if I’ve become so careless.’
‘Where did you move them?’
‘I’ll not tell you. It’s best that way.’
‘Have the English searched the undercroft?’
‘Not yet. But they’ll do it soon, I’ll warrant.’ He returned to the bread dough. ‘So Roger has come for you?’ he asked, not looking at her.
‘He is here, yes, Uncle.’
‘And he means to remove you to Perth, eh?’ Still he did not make eye contact, but instead picked up the dough, turned it upside down and slapped it back on the table.
‘He has mentioned it, and with the tavern closed—’
‘Och, it’s better that you leave now.’ He punched the dough. ‘You’ve no work here and you’re better off away from the soldiers.’ His thick fingers sank into the sticky mound. ‘But Perth, Maggie – if Wallace is there, you’d be safer with James.’
‘You and James have marked that. But Roger is my husband.’
‘When it suits him.’
She did not know what to say. To admit that she trusted James more than she did her husband seemed tantamount to breaking her vows. ‘I have made no decision.’
‘Humph. You were looking for an escort just the other day. Women. Never ken their own minds.’ He kneaded energetically. ‘I’ve asked Roy to help me with a welcoming supper for Roger. And that servant of his. Celia could use a good meal, too.’
‘How long do you think the inn will be closed?’
‘For ever, if they win.’ He almost choked on the words.
She had feared that. ‘What will become of Roy and Geordie now?’
‘They have homes to go to. Sim, too. I’ve no use for them. Hal can manage anything that arises.’
‘The close will be so quiet,’ Margaret said.
Her uncle straightened and looked at her with a mournful expression. ‘It’s a great loss to me, the tavern. Angus’s tales, the fiddling, the gossip, and of course the trade.’ He sighed and punched the dough half-heartedly. ‘Damn Longshanks to hell.’
When they had retired to Margaret’s bedchamber that evening, Roger brought up the journey to Perth again.
‘Are you keen to be home?’ she asked, keeping her head averted as if more interested in folding the linen than in the conversation.
‘It is you I am thinking about,’ said Roger.
‘It would ease my mind to go to my brother. But are you not just as concerned, hearing that your belongings were searched?’ She plunged ahead. ‘Or do you know what someone is looking for?’
‘By now many know I’m the Bruce’s man. Balliol’s men, the English, any of them might want to find something to use against me. Or perhaps it’s just a common thief, hoping I left something of value.’
‘You left precious little of value.’
‘I did not mean to cause you pain, Maggie.’
She caught her breath, feeling unprepared for this conversation. ‘A common thief would not move on from Perth to Edinburgh to search your belongings. Nor would he have passed over the goods stored in the same room as your casket was here.’
Roger crossed over, took the linen from her and set it aside, then drew her into his arms. She kept her own stiffly down by her sides.
‘Maggie, Maggie,’ Roger whispered, kissing her neck, her ear.
‘You did not think of the pain you would cause me,’ she whispered. ‘You had little thought for me.’
He straightened, looked at her from arm’s length, and she cursed herself for pushing him away. His kisses had been sweet. But she could not push away the questions that plagued her, such as the fact that the Brankston story did not explain Roger’s connection with Edwina of Carlisle. She knew from others that Roger had brought the woman to Murdoch’s tavern before returning to Perth the previous summer, before he knew of the Brankston tragedy. But she did not yet know how to broach it.
‘Why are you here, Roger? How is it that after all this time you appear a day after someone has gone through the documents stored here, both yours and Da’s?’
She stopped, shaking with fear, as if expecting him to hit her again, though last night’s slap was the first time he’d ever struck her. But there was something so changed in him, she saw it in the sudden tightening of his face, and the equally quick change of expression to one of wounded affection.
‘Oh Maggie, I did not wish to frighten you. Of cou
rse I’m concerned about someone searching here, and in Perth. That is why I’m keen to go home. Come now.’ He opened his arms once more, and she stepped into them. ‘You are shivering. Let’s go to bed.’
Shivering. Yes, she was. And his embrace did nothing to quiet her fears, for it was plain to her she knew him less than ever.
6
SO MUCH SADNESS
For a little while, preparing for the celebratory supper, Celia had forgotten about the soldiers in the yard, the crumbling of the life she had begun to enjoy in Edinburgh. Geordie and Hal had set up a trestle table in the largest of the guest rooms in the house beside the tavern and Celia had spent the afternoon cleaning the room, arranging cruisies and candles, and helping Geordie set up. She had been included in the party, as well as Janet Webster and Hal. The seven ate and drank well. Murdoch had conjured three salmon and a large hare for two of the courses. It was more fish and meat than Celia had eaten in any one week, let alone a day, since she’d left Dunfermline. Enjoying herself, she perhaps drank the claret too quickly.
For as the meal wore on she noticed an almost visible, certainly palpable screen of tension around Roger and Margaret, distancing them from the others at the table. They spoke when others addressed them, and ate, laughed and drank, but they seemed truly aware only of one another, reaching for their shared cup at the same time, then awkwardly apologising, trying to spear the same slice of hare and barely missing the other. No one but Celia seemed to mark it.
When the diners rose from the table, Margaret and Roger moved as one to the door. Celia hurried after, offering to help Margaret. Her mistress blushed a little – or was it a flush from the food and wine? – and said it was not necessary, though Celia might leave a tray with wine and cups outside the chamber door. Celia wished she knew whether or not Margaret was happy about Roger’s return, whether she should be reading more into what was said, whether she should be hearing cues to do more than Margaret requested aloud. Certainly the ravages of the previous night visible on her mistress’s face this morning had not boded well. But Celia reminded herself that she was ignorant of the marriage bed, of any bedding with a man.
