Growing up without a mother or father, she had always dreamed of raising children who knew the love of both parents. Being away from her brothers, not knowing if she’d ever see them again…Catrina had realized how much she valued them. Though their parenting had not been conventional, they were all the family she needed.
Which was why she had decided not to marry Graeme.
Catrina knew Toren, Alex, and Reid would never hurt her, but that hadn’t made it any easier to convey the news to her eldest brother.
“You’re telling me you spent all that time at Bristol insisting a match between you and Graeme was ideal. That I should forgive my enemies for the sake of the clan. I should forge an alliance ‘that only your stubborn arse is preventing,’ I believe you said.”
After Toren finished shouting—God, she missed Bryce’s even temperament even when he was angry—Catrina had decided to confess everything. He couldn't possibly be more angry, she’d reasoned.
“I can’t marry Graeme because I don’t love him. And I’m no longer a virgin.”
Though she certainly had not been grinning at the time, Toren’s reaction made her smile now.
Although all three of her brothers were pleasing to look at, Toren’s size and strength singled him out as a leader the moment he walked into a room. He was a big man and, to his enemies, an intimidating one. When she told him about her relationship with Bryce, he looked as ominous as she’d ever seen him.
Toren threatened to break his agreement and ride immediately to Bristol to “slay that bastard’s throat.” But when she reminded him of his promise, both on that day and since in private, he reconsidered. Catrina also explained her role—which, though it was clearly difficult for her brother to understand, was not insubstantial. She had wanted it as much as Bryce, mayhap even more.
Toren didn’t speak to her for days, which was just as well. Catrina didn’t much feel like talking. To anyone. She took meals in her bedchamber. Refused the alewife’s pleas for assistance. After all, the woman had gotten along just fine without her these past years. When her brothers tried to coax her to participate in her favorite activities, Catrina feigned a headache, but she never lost sight of the true source of her pain.
A certain man who nearly always refused to smile. One who thought mirth was a weakness and had a stubborn streak as strong as Toren’s. A man who lived in his brother’s shadow but was learning, as the lord of Bristol, to be a leader in his own right.
Bryce was also kind, though he refused to admit it.
And handsome, of course.
Every night before passing into the darkness that relieved her from the dull ache in her chest, Catrina fell asleep thinking of his touch. She dreamed of the night they’d spent together on the hard ground of that small tent so close to the border that stood between them.
It was the best night of her life. Followed by one of the worst.
Each day, she heard Bryce’s voice ask, “Graeme?” In her mind, he sounded almost pained. As if he cared the man she was supposed to love stood beside her. But clearly he did not, otherwise he would have stopped her. Or come to Brockburg. For all Bryce knew, she was already married.
Yesterday, all three of her brothers had come to her bedchamber and forced her to supper. They’d hired her favorite musician to entertain a small gathering in the hall. Alex had told her more about the events leading up to the near catastrophe in Norham. About all the preparations and alliances, and how worried everyone had been about her safety. When Toren grabbed and squeezed her hand under the table, Catrina knew she had finally been forgiven. Later that night, he assured her that they would find a good husband for her when she was ready. When she reminded him she was the youngest of the four siblings, and none of them were yet married, he pinched her nose as he had so many times when they were children.
For the first time since her arrival, Catrina had actually smiled.
And now this.
“Lady Catrina,” the note signed by the Countess of Kenshire started, “Please come immediately. I’m in need of an extra set of breeches.”
That was it.
She read the words over and over, trying to understand what they meant. Lady Sara wished for her to visit Kenshire. Why? Didn’t she know how painful it would be for her? Did Bryce know she had sent the missive? Would he be there?
She doubted it. He would have been more direct. If Bryce wanted to see her, he would have done so already. The lord was likely back at Bristol, fortifying it against future attacks. Though none would come from Clan Kerr, the Borderlands were still dangerous territory.
Toren already knew of the message, and his reticence had come as no surprise. But if she did choose to visit Kenshire, all three of her brothers would accompany her. They’d promised, nay, insisted. What a sight that would be!
Perhaps it would be better to allow Lady Sara to remain a memory.
Like Bryce.
“Bryce, sit down. You’re making everyone nervous,” said Lady Sara.
“I don’t give a shite about my brother’s tender sensibilities,” Bryce replied.
He looked at Geoffrey, whose glare could freeze a blacksmith’s fire. “My apologies,” he directed his words at Sara, “I did not intend to—”
“Enough. Sit.” Bryce didn’t willingly take commands from many people, but his sister-in-law was one of the ones he heeded.
He sat and looked out of the small stained-glass window. The same scene continued to greet him. There was nothing out of the ordinary in Kenshire’s courtyard save the commotion of children running from an errant hen. From his vantage point in the lady’s solar on the second floor of the castle, he could see as far as the gatehouse that separated the curtain wall from another courtyard beyond it.
Construction had begun this week on Bristol’s second wall. It would take nearly a year to complete according to the master builder. Thomas was overseeing the first stones being laid as he sat here, waiting.
“Looking out the window won’t magically make them appear,” said Sara.
He didn’t answer. This nervousness was something he hadn’t experienced before. Not when Lord Huntington had called on him to discuss Bryce’s feelings for his daughter. Not even when he had stood across from Toren Kerr, prepared to fight for his life.
But waiting to learn if Catrina was traveling to Kenshire with her brother? He simply could not sit. Weeks of uncertainty weighed on him. “I was an idiot. An utter arse.”
“I won’t disagree with you, brother.” Geoffrey crossed his legs and smiled. Bryce wished his brother would make more of an effort to hide his obvious pleasure.
Bryce had been a mess of emotions after the conclusion of the fight at Castle Norham. On the one hand, he was furious Toren had escaped with his life. His parents would not be avenged. Worse, Catrina would marry Graeme—and he was the reason her brother had finally agreed to their engagement.
Geoffrey had immediately told him he’d made a mistake by letting her go. But what was he to do? Chase her home to Brockburg? She was engaged, for Christ’s sake. And he’d nearly killed her brother.
He knew she wouldn’t have him.
Instead, he made his way back to Bristol. By the time he arrived, Bryce knew he’d made the biggest mistake of his life. Vengeance had blinded him. He didn’t need Evelyn or Elise to look at him as if he were the enemy to realize how stupid he had been.
But Thomas did more than just glare at him. He told him the unvarnished truth.
“You deserve to be alone. It’s what you’ve wanted since Lady Elena spurned you. Well, you got what you wished for.”
He wanted to lash out at his friend, but Thomas was right. After Lady Elena, he had set out to prove himself. Instead, he had only proved that he was an idiot.
“Catrina is betrothed to a man she loves. And…she hates me.”
Thomas spat on the ground and stroked his beard. “If you’re that blind, man, then do what you will. Let her marry Graeme deSowlis.”
He wasn’t entirely bl
ind. He’d thought of their night in the tent enough times by then to realize what everyone had told him was true.
She loved him. She would not have given herself to him otherwise.
And he had repaid that love by doing the one thing that would ensure she’d never forgive him. If it was too late to get her back, he deserved it. But Geoffrey and Thomas were right. He had to find out if there was any chance she would forgive him.
He sent Fergus to Brockburg on his behalf. He hadn’t made the connection the day Catrina had visited the alewife on their trip to the village. But later, knowing she looked for an ally to help her escape, he had realized the true purpose of her visit. The man’s loyalties were questionable. But the fact that he’d stayed behind to watch over Catrina told him he cared for her happiness. After a lengthy discussion, Fergus agreed to travel to Brockburg to ensure Catrina’s impending marriage didn’t happen until he could speak to her.
Next, Bryce wrote to Sara asking that she request Catrina’s presence at Kenshire. He knew the ladies had formed a bond and suspected Catrina would be more inclined to answer her call than his. Bryce did consider a trip to Brockburg, but he worried she’d refuse to see him and that her brothers would be less than inclined to intervene on his behalf. Besides, depending on what Catrina had shared with them, he may be lucky to leave Scotland alive.
And now here he was, waiting. Pacing. Uncomfortable in his own skin. Sara had received word that her “garment would be returned,” but there’d been no mention of who would be traveling to Kenshire.
“Bryce, look,” said Sara.
His heart leapt into his throat.
A knock at the door confirmed what he could now see for himself.
“Pardon, my lady. My lord. Your guests have arrived,” Faye called from the door.
“Thank you, Faye,” Sara said as she joined him near the small window, which allowed for a very limited view of the courtyard. Bryce held his breath and waited.
Bryce was surprised by the number of riders. He counted at least ten. He couldn’t tell if Catrina was among them, but none looked like a woman.
She wasn’t coming.
Sara looked at him, her eyes filled with pity. “I must go meet our guests.”
Bryce stared at the men who began to dismount. One by one, their horses were led away. He recognized Alex Kerr, his height unmistakable.
And then he saw her. Of course…she wore Sara’s breeches. As she moved closer, Bryce knew it by the way she carried herself. A moment later, Catrina reached for her hood and pulled it down to reveal her unbound reddish-brown locks. His chest constricted at the sight of her, and a flood of longing and fear threatened to unman him.
She was here, but would she forgive him? Did her betrothed accompany the group?
He vowed, not for the first time, to do everything in his power to win her back.
And he would start with the most difficult task of all.
25
He was here.
Catrina didn’t see Bryce anywhere, but something told her he was at Kenshire. Perhaps it was that Lady Sara seemed to be looking for someone. Or maybe she could simply sense his presence.
It no longer mattered.
When they couldn’t dissuade her from answering Lady Sara’s request, Alex and Reid insisted on accompanying her. Toren would have joined them, but he’d had to deal with an uprising that threatened an ally. Ushered into the hall by Lady Sara and her husband, Catrina and her brothers were offered rooms above stairs to refresh themselves before the meal. Unfortunately, her well-meaning brothers refused to leave her side.
Apparently, they preferred to stare at Geoffrey and his steward than act like normal visitors. Though they’d recovered from their initial shock after learning she’d lost her virginity to Bryce, she knew they hadn’t fully overcome their resentment. They were worried for her future, but oddly enough, for the first time in her life, Catrina didn’t care to consider marriage. Mayhap she would avoid it altogether. Although Alex and Reid would not reside at Brockburg forever, Toren would remain chief. Which meant she’d always have a home there. Would it be so awful? Then again, Toren would eventually marry.
Sara’s greeting pulled her back to the present.
“Look at you! A proper English lady.” Sara enveloped her in a hug that nearly broke the bones in her back.
“A proper Scottish lass,” Catrina replied, fully aware neither was true as she wore her own set of breeches to match the ones Sara lent her. Brockburg’s seamstress may have been appalled by her request, but no more so than her brothers. Alex, for some reason, was especially put out, and had tried to convince her to change into more proper attire.
“When you don a gown for a long ride, I’ll do so myself. In the meantime, I’ll thank you to allow me a bit of comfort.” It wasn’t as if they’d stayed in a public place on their journey.
He had finally relented.
She’d known Sara for such a short period of time, but there was something about her that made Catrina feel as if they’d known each other for years. An openness that was rare, especially from someone in her station. Of course, Catrina did not know any other countesses, but she didn’t imagine very many of them were like Sara.
Sara turned toward Alex and Reid. “Allow Faye to show you to your rooms. I promise to take good care of your sister.”
Her brothers both looked to her for approval. She nodded, eager to be alone with her friend. Besides, while Geoffrey seemed to be in good spirits despite the fact that his sworn enemies stood a few feet from him, Catrina knew the mood could change at any moment.
There was still obvious tension between the men.
And then Bryce appeared.
While this was not entirely unexpected, Catrina was nonetheless unprepared for his arrival. He was dressed casually, as was his custom, and looked incredibly relaxed as he descended the stairs at the opposite end of the hall. He didn’t take his eyes from her for a moment.
She moved closer to Alex, grateful he hadn’t yet left. Catrina didn’t trust her voice. Her hands began to tremble, and she balled them into fists to make them stop. No one spoke, not even the servants. Catrina could hear the crackling of the great fire that warmed Kenshire’s hall as the sun set outside. Actually, she was feeling quite hot, which was unusual for a hall of this size.
“My lady.” Bryce’s voice was calm, smooth.
She wanted so very much to rail at him. She had imagined these last weeks what she would say if they ever met again. She left her belongings—and her heart—at Kenshire Castle. If only he had come for her that day. Stopped her from leaving Kenshire
But he hadn’t.
“Damn you to hell, Bryce Waryn.”
She grabbed Lady Sara’s hand and began walking out of the stifling hall. This entire venture had been a horrible mistake. Why had she come?
“Lady Catrina, may I have a word?”
She must have imagined the waver she heard in his voice. Bryce was like the precious curtain wall he planned to erect at Bristol. Always strong. Unbending.
She spun toward him, prepared to unleash the blistering he deserved. What she saw made her stop and stare.
The lord of Bristol Manor was bent on one knee in front of her brothers. Head bowed, he spoke clearly for all to hear.
“My apologies to you both. I’ve acted dishonorably toward your sister. And when I entered into an agreement with your brother, I did so reluctantly. You have every reason to hate me, and I would not presume to ask for your forgiveness. But I do ask for you to uphold our agreement with the full confidence I shall do the same.”
Catrina could not move. What was he doing? What was he even apologizing for? Taking her virginity? Her brothers both turned to her. Catrina told them with her eyes, in no uncertain terms, that they would not refuse the man who knelt before him. Despite her personal feelings toward Bryce, their truce must stand.
They apparently understood her silent plea.
Alex put his hand over the hilt of his sword. S
he knew he would never use the weapon as an invited guest of Kenshire, but it was a habit, not a show of force. His words confirmed as much.
“We’re in need of allies, not enemies.” Alex reached down to lay a hand on Bryce’s shoulder. “The countess mentioned a room?”
Bryce stood. But before she could see what happened next, Sara pulled her away.
“The sea gate,” she said.
Sara smiled. “Aye.”
They practically ran down the path. The sea was beautiful when they emerged on the other side, and the cool breeze felt heavenly on her face, but Catrina could not stop thinking about Bryce and her brothers.
Apparently, Sara felt the same way. “Did they just make peace? Again?”
Catrina took off her boots and closed her eyes, enjoying the breeze. The sound of the crashing waves. “It appears so.”
“Why am I here, Sara?” Catrina opened her eyes. She wanted to see the expression on the other woman’s face.
“Bryce asked me to do it,” she spoke quickly. “I am happy to see you, of course. And pleased to know I’ve had an influence on you.” Sara looked pointedly down at Catrina’s garment.
“Mayhap you should bring them to London,” Catrina suggested. “I’m sure they would be all the rage at court.”
Sara made a distinctly unladylike noise. “They may get us thrown out of court, I’m afraid.” Her smile faltered.
“I apologize, Catrina. He begged me to do it.”
“Why?”
“Isn’t it obvious? Bryce realizes he made a mistake. He wants—”
“Stop.” She didn’t want to hear this. She wasn’t sure she could bear to hear it. “Sara, you have no idea what it was like to watch the man I loved attempt to kill my own brother. I will never forgive him.”
The Lord's Captive (Border Series Book 2) Page 23
