For the first time ever, I wasn’t up here alone.
Caleb had shimmered to the rooftop about ten minutes ago, but neither one of us had spoken yet. I was still angry at him for his interference with Mammon, but at the same time, his companionship filled the pain-edged void in my life and I missed him. He was the only one I could talk to about this openly. “How do you do that?” I asked him softly.
His voice was barely more than a whisper when he responded, “Do what?”
I blinked away the tears that were misting in my eyes and turned to face him directly. “Know exactly when I need you.”
Caleb smiled impishly, exposing the dimples in his cheeks. I was always taken aback when reminded of the boyish features he still possessed. His blue eyes twinkled in the moonlight, his dark brown hair falling carelessly across his forehead. I couldn’t deny he was intrinsically attractive, though I hadn’t spent much time dwelling on his physique. I could appreciate what Maya saw in him and admit he had a certain charm that could get beneath your skin. None of that mattered though, I didn’t have time to be distracted from the bigger picture.
“I wouldn't be very good at my job if I didn't,” he responded honestly. “I’m supposed to keep an eye on you, remember?”
I chuckled to myself quietly, picked up an acorn from the roof and threw it to the ground. “Right, how could I forget?”
Caleb sat quietly for a few minutes, waiting to see if I would say anything. Finally, he asked, “What are you doing out this late?”
I smiled weakly at him and shrugged, petting Cleo’s head as she mewed inside my lap. “Couldn’t sleep.”
“Why not?”
I threw another acorn and sighed, not wanting to look him in the eye. “I saw Maya today at the hospital … while we were visiting my mom.”
“Well, that's unfortunate,” Caleb told me with a grin. “She’s been on my case for weeks.”
I snorted in agreement, but didn’t speak and he came to sit beside me.
“Is that all? Because you… seem upset. Did she say something to you?”
I chewed on my lips, trying to figure out what to say. “She said I need to stay away from you.”
His head whipped around in an instant. “What?”
“She said I would be the death of you, do you believe that?”
“I don’t think you’re a threat to anyone but yourself,” he responded gently. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll talk to her.”
“When were you going to tell me that the two of you were involved?” I breathed out quickly, in a voice that I hoped was nonchalant. The words ripped out of me before I was able to stop them, though I didn’t really care — I felt like I’d been deceived.
“I’m not,” he responded firmly. “Is that what she told you?”
“Well, in not so many words… yeah.”
Caleb cleared his throat and loosened the collar of his shirt to reveal a mark, not un-like the one I had seen on my mother earlier. It was a crystal blue swirl that glowed even brighter than his aura, but carefully hidden so that no one else would see it. “This is my bonding sigil,” he informed me. “Everyone in my order has one and it becomes active once you’ve found someone compatible with your destiny. Maya’s sigil is identical to mine, which means she’s a potential match. They never activated, which means our course is still undecided. I’ve met a handful of other partners that all have the same rune — one of them I even took a fancy to — but it must not have meant anything because the flame did not ignite. When it does, I’ll know.”
“So you don’t even have a say in it?”
“I … did I not explain it clearly?” he asked me a little confused.
“No you did, I’m just not sure that’s a life that I would choose, I don’t think soulmates are decided for us by fate. I can’t imagine being with someone I cared about, then have my feelings completely disregarded because the universe didn’t give me ‘permission’ to be with them. I’d rather choose mine for myself.”
He stared at me for a moment with a mix of confusion and awe.
“What is it?”
“It's … nothing,” he assured me. “You just surprise me sometimes, and are not at all what I thought you’d be.”
My face dropped slightly. “Did you have some preconceived notion of what I’d be like?”
Caleb looked away from me embarrassed. “Well, yes actually. Demons aren't typically known for their self-control… or sentimentality. I feel like I owe you an apology.”
“You saved my life,” I reminded him. “You don’t owe me anything. I just don’t think that you should settle because some mystic symbol told you to.”
His jaw dropped slightly, as if he were seeing me for the first time.
I sighed and silence followed for a while. When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I ventured, “Should we discuss the elephant in the room?”
He shifted his weight uncomfortably as his eyes flickered towards my necklace. “You mean what happened in the auditorium?”
“Well, yeah!” I told him honestly. “What happened?”
Caleb mussed the back of his head and offered, “I was just trying to help. Your humanity is precious to me.”
“And I appreciate that, but you can’t come rescue me anytime you think I need help — I need to figure this out myself. It’s the only way I’m going to get stronger and you’re denying me the right to prove that I don’t need a babysitter.” My voice softened, “What I need is somebody to stand by my side and cheer me on while I rescue myself.”
“It's not easy to sit and watch while someone you care about is in mortal danger,” Caleb fumed. Once the realization dawned on him that he may have revealed too much, he looked away embarrassed.
“You… care about me?”
Caleb panicked and quickly said, “It's a figure of speech. Don't worry, next time one of the Demon Lords comes to administer a test, I'll stay out of the way.”
I cleared my throat, trying to figure out what to say. “Do you know when that will be?”
The tension between us lifted and Caleb sighed, “No.”
“Okay, but I want you to promise me something.”
“Anything,” he agreed.
“I know there isn't a whole lot you can do about Mom and honestly, I’m kind of past caring about her, but I couldn't stand it if the rest of my family got hurt because of me. Promise me that you'll protect them, even if I can't.”
Caleb’s expression softened and he said, “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit.”
“You… must not know me very well.”
He raised an eyebrow in silent disagreement. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I know myself, I can be cruel — and weak. These tests are going to be difficult, and I don’t want my family left alone without protection if I fail.”
I wasn’t sure what made me open up like that, to admit what I’d been worrying about from the beginning. But isn’t it everyone’s deepest fear that what they are, won’t be … enough?
I huffed, exasperated, “I don’t think I’ll ever forgive Mom for what she did to me. My entire life is forfeit because of her stupid decision. I hope she never wakes up, because if she does than I might actually kill her; then I’d really be in trouble.”
“Don't say that,” Caleb pleaded. “You don't know what her reasons were.”
I let out a tired sigh and shook my head in disbelief. “I just wish I could go back, you know? When I was seven, my parents flipped out because I came home with a skinned up knee. Mom found out that a few of the neighborhood boys had been pushing me around and chased them down the street with a baseball bat, threatening them within an inch of their lives if they ever came near me again.” I laughed dryly as the words came flowing out of me, “It was the same thing when I got to high school. She was so overbearingly protective that she wouldn't even let me date. Ever. I had to pretend that I'd never been kissed for two years before my dad eventually found out — don't even get me started on that wh
ole fiasco. How does she go from that, to signing my life away? Why didn't she kill me when she had the chance?”
Caleb exhaled loudly with a puff of air. “That's a good question,” he agreed. “And it's one you're going to have to ask her yourself. I know you’re angry, but you still love her in spite of everything. I know you do, or you wouldn’t be beating yourself up like this.”
I choked down the profanity I wanted to throw in his direction and angrily scratched the back of Cleo's head. She chirped at me in alarm and swatted my hands away before I turned my attention back to Caleb. “Well, you're not exactly what I expected either.”
“Oh really?” he questioned with a laugh. “What did you have in mind?”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m just glad you’re not.”
He smiled gently and said, “Are you feeling any better?”
I nodded and reached to tuck a flyaway piece of hair behind my ear that had fallen from my braid. He was near enough that I reached out my hand to touch him, he mirrored me and watched as our hands fell through each other. It felt like nothing at all.
For a moment, I wondered what it would have been like to actually have him touch me. The feel of his hands on my face and the warm brush of his skin against mine. I wasn’t raised being starved for affection, but I’d never craved it this much either. The tenderness in how he spoke to me and the way his eyes rested on my body, led my mind down the path of wondering “what if”.
It would have been gentle. It would have been sweet. And whatever trouble I may have gotten in for it would have been worth it.
A delicious shiver ran through me and I had to look away, embarrassed, before he guessed what I was thinking. “Why can’t I touch you?” I muttered.
Caleb sighed as if not knowing how to explain it properly. “Because I’m not really here. This,” he waved his hand in front of his body, “is just a projection. The Angelic Realm is on a different plane. Astral-projection is the only way we can interact with mortals.”
“Then why can you fight with demons? Why are they able to touch me if they’re a projection too?”
“Angels and demons come from the same life force. You’re a demon too and therefore compatible, but … only with your kin.”
He lifted his hand to brush his fingers against my cheek and there was a slight warmth where the contact would have happened.
The air between us shifted and I cleared my throat uncomfortably, not sure of what to say. Caleb was embarrassed too and sighed heavily, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry … I…”
He stopped halfway through his sentence and stared off into space with his lips parted slightly, frozen in mid-sentence.
“Caleb?”
He stared back at me unblinking, as I waved my hand in front of his face. What's going on? I wondered anxiously.
“Don't worry about him,” a whispered voice came from beside me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on edge and Cleo growled defensively, arching her back at the uninvited guest. I turned to face a hooded figure that had materialized on my rooftop.
“I am Abaddon,” she told me faintly, in a hypnotic voice. “The Master of Sloth and Idleness. You and I have business we must attend to.”
“I understand,” I murmured softly. Cleo pounced to the rooftop next to me and hissed at the lurking demon.
“State your name,” Abaddon commanded.
“Oh … my name is Wynnona Hendricks,” I stuttered nervously, rising to my feet.
“Do you rescind your claim on this land?” she asked in a breathy sort of tone. I shook my head and frowned, bracing myself for anything the Demon Lord might throw at me.
“Then you and I must duel,” she stated flatly.
For a moment it felt like I was flying, then all at once the scenery around us changed. We were standing in the midst of an enormous palace villa with marble pillars lining a lush garden courtyard. An alluring voice hummed in the background as men and women lounged on chaise couches, servants feeding them wine or flower petals. Some of them just wandered aimlessly about the grounds, or swam naked in the moonlight. None of them were lucid enough to even acknowledge I just appeared there — they were all drunk and enraptured by the majesty of the world around them.
“This is the land of dreams,” the demon told me, noticing my appraisal. “It serves all those who are in need of rest, or seeking escape from life’s many obligations. I welcome you to join us, and feast to your heart’s content.”
I hummed in acknowledgement, feigning interest in her offer and stepping back to examine the mosaic tiles laid into the floor. “Is that a Lotus blossom?” I asked her innocently.
“Of course. This place has had many names through the centuries, it is also known as the Land of Lotus Eaters due to the native flowers that grow here. The petals are sweet and have a delicate nectar I think you'll find to be quite pleasant in time.”
I smiled slightly, though it didn't reach my eyes. “No, I don't think I'll be eating anything. Why don't you take me home?”
“Have I offended you?” she asked. “The guests here are all quite happy, as you can plainly see.”
“Yes, and none of them can leave.”
“None of them want to,” Abaddon corrected me. “That’s what Sloth is — a blissful refusal of work and responsibility. Many people think damnation is fire and brimstone, and there is for people who deserve it, but this…” She spread her arms out, surveying her domain with pride, “This is what damnation truly is.”
“I don’t understand.”
“A dam is what stops the natural advancement of water in a river. Rivers flow, continually bringing life and nourishment to the surrounding area. When it is dammed, all progression stops. There is no growth, no development, no improvement or innovation. The water becomes stagnant and torpid while the plants and flowers rot within. What was once a symbol of life ever flowing onward is now halted. That is what damnation is, my dear. Your soul never moving forward to the next realm, never knowing the mysteries of the universe, all for the sake of comfort and laziness. My territory is filled with those who succumbed to slothfulness and were satisfied with mediocrity rather than wanting to be exceptional; who never cared about fulfilling their destiny or living up to their full potential. This is where people end up who just don’t care about what happens to the world around them.”
“Well, I’d rather fight and lose than take the easy route.”
“That’s because you’re not thinking it through,” she told me idly. “Just think, if you stayed here all your trials would be done — it would be that simple. No responsibility to prove yourself, no danger to your loved ones, or the risk of your powers harming anyone. There’s no reason for you to suffer so needlessly, you could be happy here.”
She had a point. As I looked around, the invitation was indeed desirable, especially when I thought about my family; it’s as if she had heard my fears on the rooftop. If I failed these trials, or accidently hurt them, I could never forgive myself. If I bowed out now, at least they would be safe from me.
But I knew it was just an illusion and the thought of my soul remaining here forever… I knew I had to be more than this.
“Life isn’t meant to be easy,” I told her calmly. “If you’re doing the right thing, nine times out of ten it’s going to be an uphill battle. I’ll accept that challenge, no matter how grand your palace is — I belong with my family.”
“No one has ever left this world before,” she warned me. “Though you're more than welcome to try. All you need is to bring me the Myrra Lily from beyond the palace grounds. It grows in the forest where no one dares to tread. Bring it to me by sunrise and I'll release you, otherwise, you'll be staying a little longer. You'll be sleeping here forever — just like dear old mum.”
“Don't talk about my mother,” I growled at her venomously.
“Oh, struck a nerve did I? Perhaps that's something you'd like to discuss with her yourself.”
The demon gestured to a shadowed arc
hway and I felt my mouth run dry. There was my mother, looking just as startled as I was, her ebony hair pulled back into a Grecian ponytail and wearing a peplos gown — apparently the Lotus plant didn't affect all of the inhabitants. “What…” I gasped automatically, “What is she doing here?”
“It's the land of the dreams and dreamers,” Abaddon reminded me. “I'd love to stay and chat, but you're clearly on a deadline. Tick tock, little one.”
Abaddon melted into the shadows and I turned back towards my mother with a scowl. She looked at me with a hopeful expression, a mixture of excitement and confusion.
I'd finally given up, and started to accept the fact that I'd never speak to her again. That was my only comfort in my discoveries about who she really was and what she'd been doing my whole life — that I'd never need to confront such an unimaginable betrayal face to face. That she'd take that tiny, selfish, cowardly comfort away from me now was not something I was going to acknowledge or accept.
I didn't wait for her to speak, I just stormed past her and headed for the gate.
“Wynn, wait!” she called out after me. I rolled my eyes at the sound of her strappy leather sandals jogging along behind me.
As I exited the courtyard into the castle grounds, I saw the hedges extend beyond the palace walls into a topiary labyrinth with stonework arches scattered throughout. At first glance the bushes appeared harmless, but looking closer I could see they were infested with twisted thorns and brambles, strangling them from underneath. In my rush, I accidently got too close to one and it caught my jeans, cutting a jagged line across the outside of my thigh. I barely flinched as it ripped into my flesh, leaving a trail of blood dripping down my leg while I maneuvered through the hedges. Torches blazed every few feet, giving some light in the darkness.
“I’m coming with you!” she panted on the path behind me, “I can help! I — oomph! know this world, maybe we could get out of here together. Let me help you find the Myrra Lily.”
Dealing with the Devil (The Earthwalker Trilogy Book 1) Page 14
