“My problem?” he challenged with a gesture towards my friends. “Take a look around! You almost killed them, Wynn! Or do you not have a problem with collateral damage?”
I looked around and my jaw fell open at the brutal honesty of seeing my friends reduced to puddles of helpless goo. They were either leaning against lawn chairs or lying on the ground where they fell, unconscious from their life force being drained by my predatory round of eating. I was disgusted with myself for having indulged in such a greedy, hedonistic experiment. I put them all in danger and it wasn’t even Belphegor they were in danger from — it was me. I was the most dangerous thing that could have happened to them and that realization made me sick.
“But … I stopped! I pulled Belphegor off of them,” I sputtered uselessly.
“After you put them in jeopardy to begin with!” he shot back angrily. “I thought you were better than this! All that talk about being strong enough to save yourself … but clearly you were wrong.”
My eyes caught a glimpse of Ryan rousing himself from across the fire and guilt pooled in my stomach — I had come dangerously close to killing him. There was no coming back from that.
I stumbled over to the bushes and retched what was left of my evening meal, blubbering pitifully as I pulled back my hair. “How long have you been doing this?” he demanded from behind me on the grass.
Between wheezes and spitting out the foul taste, I managed to say, “It was my first time. I just wanted to see what it was like. I didn’t even realize what it meant.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about. I mean the magic you used!” he roared. “You can’t lie to me like everyone else. This is EXACTLY what the Elders were afraid of: you not being able to control yourself. I know demonic powers, Wynn. Not only were you feeding on them, but you managed to conjure a … a ball of snakes inside Belphegor’s body? So please, don’t insult my intelligence by telling me Aidan has not been meeting you.”
“I’m a demon! These powers are going to come out whether I want them to or not! I need to have control of them when they do. I tried to talk to you about this, but you wouldn’t listen!”
“Now you’re blaming ME? Powers are one thing,” he conceded. “You were eating a person’s soul. The Wynn I know would not be okay with that. Those are people’s sons and daughters and you’re treating them like a late night snack.”
My hands clenched into fists by the end of his little speech and I ground my teeth in guilty anger. “Then maybe you should have finished what you started.”
Caleb took another step towards me with his finger outstretched in warning. “Don't. I have never once regretted that decision, but if you keep going on like this you'll make it difficult for me to defend your actions. Keep yourself in check, or you will end up forcing my hand.”
I fought back angry tears and crossed my arms defensively, “Fine.”
The blue fire raging in his eyes subsided and he spat at me, “You should get home before you do any more damage.”
I stormed past him down the yard and grabbed my towel and bag from underneath the porch swing. None of my friends even noticed me leaving, they were all too delirious from booze and psychic vampires. My face dropped even deeper and I felt an overwhelming wave of guilt, because I knew that he was right. What I did was wrong and I was lying to myself by excusing it.
Once I'd gathered my things, he left me on my driveway without so much as a goodbye. I couldn't help but wonder if this is how we would eventually part — in silence.
Chapter Fifteen
Losing My Religion
I woke up the next morning with a killer hangover. Every sound, every light was amplified to the extreme and my head felt like it had been split open with an axe. As the morning rays of sun came streaming through my window I buried my face beneath the pillow and let out a miserable groan. If I got up I would have to go to church and deal with the reality of what I’d done. I didn’t know how to face my friends after feeding on them yesterday, not that they’d have any memory of what happened, but I was still ashamed of what I’d done.
Dad had come by earlier to let me know I was grounded for the rest of my life. He smelled the alcohol on me the minute I got home last night. I didn't even argue with him, we both knew I deserved it.
He was disappointed, I could see it in his eyes when he looked at me. Between the secrets I’d been keeping from him, and the newly discovered past life he’d been keeping from me, it was going to be hard to salvage our relationship.
Still, I made a commitment to myself that from now on I’d try to be a better daughter. When I thought of everything he’d lost too, I knew I needed to cut him a little slack. There were obviously things I couldn’t tell him, parts of me I’d never be able to share, but still, I was going to try. I'd messed up big time, so being grounded for a while would be good for me, give me some time to get my life in order and reprioritize what was important.
That blow up fight with Caleb had been a wakeup call too. I knew he was right and I had made the correct decision to end my training sessions with Aidan. The power was just too tempting.
I hadn't even realized it had gotten this bad, but like any addiction, it sneaks up on you. At first it's no big deal so you try again, and again. Before you know it you can't even see back to where you started. In an impressively short amount of time I’d managed to alienate my family, infuriate my friend, and abuse the trust of everyone else around me — my life was in shambles.
I didn’t think I was capable of that kind of “selfish” and “reckless” behavior, those were words parents always used. Yet, there was no other way to describe it. Graduation was just over two months away and I had no idea how a grown-up was supposed to behave. I was supposed to be in college next year which made the prospect a little pathetic, and even downright embarrassing, but I had to face adulthood some time.
“Wynn, we need to leave soon!” Elyse called as she came knocking on my doorway.
“Ugh … OW!” I groaned at the amplification of sound in my skull. “I’ll be right out!”
I rolled out of bed and held onto my desk until the room stopped spinning then grabbed a knee-length paisley skirt off my clothes rack and tossed a pair of boots beside them on the bed. Cleo was hiding underneath my chair and batted playfully at my heels when I walked past.
After a quick shower and plaiting a few braids into my hair, I deemed my appearance presentable and trotted down the stairs to get some breakfast. Much to my surprise, Nate was in the kitchen watching Kevin show him how to do his tie. They were both dressed as proper gentleman. For Kevin that wasn't so surprising, but for Nate it was a first. He grinned when I came down and gave me a quick thumbs up. I smiled back at him and gave a playful wink before Dad came up behind me.
“What's all this?” he asked.
“What does it look like? I'm getting ready for church.”
“Yes, I can see that, but usually I have to drag you kicking and screaming and you’ve certainly never looked this presentable. What changed your mind?”
Nathan shrugged and cast a wary glance in my direction. “I decided there might be some value in it after all.”
I smiled weakly when our eyes met, knowing full well that our recent conversation had been the turning point in that decision. Once you’ve met a demon and an angel face to face, it was like finding the missing piece to a puzzle you never knew existed, giving hope to the existence of a higher power. He also seemed to understand this was something I needed to do, and wanted the support of my family, of him. That he would so easily go out of his way to be with me was touching.
His aura swirled and I smiled, thinking about the secret we now shared. I felt an odd sense of closeness to him I'd never felt before. I mean, we'd always been close, but nothing like this. He knew something about me only a handful of people did. Furthermore, he kept my secret and didn't freak out when I shared it with him, which meant the world to me. I felt like for the first time ever he was seeing me for who I really was —
a lost soul — and loved me in spite of it.
“Well, I can't say I’m not pleased,” Dad announced to the three of us skeptically. “But I still expect you to be on your best behavior. Especially you, Wynnona. I’ve had enough of your shenanigans.”
“Yessir,” I responded sheepishly, staring at the floor.
“Should we all get going?” Elyse chimed in from beside him. We all murmured in agreement and filed out to the garage, Kevin and Elyse driving themselves, Nate and I climbing into the backseat of Dad's SUV.
We arrived at church and took our usual seats in the back of the congregation. Our new pastor gave a beautiful sermon about the importance of fortitude and “enduring to the end” despite our trials.
I flinched as the dull ache of a migraine started to flare with a mild, thumping sound. It echoed through my already sore head — a faint slow, rhythm that was maddening. Voices in my head began to whisper about me in the background like white noise. They were painful, like the sound of chalk screeching against a chalkboard. What is she doing here? they asked. Master will be so disappointed.
Don't look at me! Mistress should be practicing her magic instead of wasting her time with idle ritual.
My head throbbed and I let out a muffled groan. Nate bumped me with his shoulder. “Are you okay?” he asked. “It looks like you're in pain.”
“I am in pain!” I whimpered slightly, rubbing my temples. “My head is killing me. Do you think Elyse or Dad would have an Aspirin?”
Nathan just shrugged sympathetically as the que for the Holy Sacrament lined up beside us. Dad, Kevin, and Elyse all scooted down the bench in front of me to join the people in communion. I sighed, following suit, and scooted down the pew behind them. When I reached the end, I quickly smoothed the fabric of my skirt and went to stand in line. As each person in front of me quietly took their turn, I bounced on the balls of my feet and fiddled nervously with my necklace.
I had not forgotten the cursed piece of jewelry keeping me tethered to this plane. Three of the stones had turned, but I was still waiting on the rest.
When it was finally my turn, I stepped up to take the silver chalice from the hands of our elderly pastor. The dark, red wine was halfway gone when I took the chalice from him and brought it to my lips. I could smell the wine's distinct aroma when it landed on my tongue, but then it changed into something foul and the flavor was completely wrong. It tasted bitter, like rust and salt. I made a face and almost spat it on the ground, but social graces thankfully saved me from the embarrassment. Instead, I cringed, making a sour face as I turned towards my brother.
“What is this?” I hissed, handing him the cup.
“It's communion wine,” he whispered, “and trust me, I don't like it either.”
I scoffed at his obtuseness. “I've had wine before, this tastes foul!”
His brow furrowed in confusion as he looked into the cup. “Is that blood?” he asked the preacher, louder than I appreciated.
The old man frowned. “It's the Blood of Christ, my son.”
“I'm not talking about a metaphor, I'm talking about actual blood!”
Nate offered the silver goblet back to him and we watched the old man gasp before dropping it on the ground. Thick, red liquid spilled out across the steps and the entire congregation stared at him in shock. “The wine has turned to blood!” he insisted with horror.
“Impossible,” said the gentleman in front of us. “It was fine a moment ago.”
There was a murmuring in the crowd and someone said, “Obviously the children are lying. What else would we expect from them?”
“But it's true!” the pastor insisted. “Come, see it for yourself!”
“Out of my way,” Doctor Addison commanded, pushing his way to the center of the growing crowd. “I'll tell you if that is blood or not.” He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and dipped it into the gooey mess, bringing it up to examine further. “Oh, my Lord, that's real,” he mumbled to himself. The crowd inched closer and closer towards us, each moving to see what was going on. He acknowledged them with a nod and stood up on the steps. “That's blood all right. No doubt about it.”
“I told you!” Nathan mumbled.
My heart beat wildly in my chest as the crowd grew even closer. Their expressions were tense and accusatory, not unlike the angry horde of demons at Mammon’s trial. Poor Elyse was pale, though I wasn't sure which was frightening her more: the fact that wine had turned to blood, or people’s reaction to it. The whole congregation was in an uproar, either calling him a liar, or demanding an explanation.
“It’s a miracle!” the pastor declared, dumbfounded.
“Miracle?” one woman shouted. “That witch's brat has cursed the sanctity of our church!”
There were cheers of acknowledgment around her and now all eyes were on my brother. “Now wait just a minute,” our father shouted. “That is a ridiculous accusation! And how dare you call my wife a witch! You should be ashamed of yourselves.”
“He's right, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. When did the Holy Sacrament get defiled?”
“It was fine when I tasted it,” the angry woman quipped. “So it had to be one of them.”
Nate glanced at me nervously and gulped. “Wynn…”
Dad glanced back and forth between us and said, “Wynn, did you have something to do with this?”
I shook my head and ran, pushing my way through the growing mob. “Excuse me,” I insisted, brushing past them. There was a bustling of commotion behind me as I burst through the double doors and stepped out into the sunlight — I couldn't stay here a moment longer.
I flew across the parking lot to a dirt road that ran past an old field. All I could think about was the pounding of my feet against the dirt. When the road ended, I cut though a yard and jumped a picket fence to make a beeline for my house. I wasn't sure if anyone was coming after me, but I wasn't taking any chances.
My lungs burned from exertion when I turned a corner on the street. I wasn't even halfway home before I felt the patter of sprinkles on my face. The sky ripped open above me in a spring shower and let down a tremendous rainstorm. Perfect, I thought to myself humorlessly. This is just what I need right now.
My dress was completely soaked by the time I made it around the block. A passing car honked at me on the sidewalk and I waved them off dismissively. My mind still raced with what happened at the chapel. I was horrified at the prospect that my secret was finally out, what would my father think?
Everyone was looking at me when I left, they’d already suspected me to begin with. Word travels fast in a town like this and I didn't know how I was going to ever show my face again. As if high school wasn't miserable enough already.
Water saturated my hair as my haggard breathing brought an end to my running. I took shelter beneath a random car port and wrapped my arms around my chest. My lungs were tight and every breath came out in a painful wheeze. What just happened? I asked myself. Why did the communion wine reject me? It felt like a sign that I was impure and that God had turned his back on me. It hurt. I already felt alone, fighting an uphill battle, and now this. This wasn't the place for me to be, I wasn't worthy to be here. Even the Lord's sacrament had refused me. If God had given up on me and I was being barred from the gates of heaven regardless, then what was I doing this for? What was I hoping to accomplish?
Right now, I just wanted to feel accepted.
If heaven was rejecting me, then I still knew at least one other person that I could call — someone who understood what I was going through.
I knew he would jump at the opportunity to come to me, but I had already vowed that he and I were finished with my training. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing I found solace in his companionship. It made me feel dirty thinking about it.
For what felt like a very long time, I stayed under the car port and cried. When it didn't look like the rain was going to let up anytime soon, I sniffed back the tears and when my breathing was not so ragged, I
stepped out into the rain to make the long walk home. I didn't care I was getting wet, I didn't care my feet would be covered in blisters and my family was probably looking for me frantically — I embraced the storm and the solitude. My rain-soaked hair snaked its way across my shoulders and the fabric of my skirt clung to my knees.
Road by road, I hiked the winding path back to my house. Both of the cars were parked askew on the driveway, evidence of a hasty arrival before they ran into the house. Elyse sat on the front porch and called to them inside when she saw me coming up the drive.
Dad and Nate emerged from the doorway to welcome me on the steps. “Oh, honey! It's not your fault,” Dad told me, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. “I'm sorry that happened to you. Somebody played a nasty trick on us, but don't worry. None of us believe that garbage anyways. I chewed them all out good before we left and let them know we'd be finding another place to worship.”
“Thanks, Dad.” I glanced at Nate, who was staring at the ground in front of him, and felt a pang of guilt. “Nate, are you okay?”
He shuffled his feet uncomfortably. “I was worried about you, that’s all.”
“We all were,” Elyse agreed. “Why don't you go upstairs and get changed? I'll bring you some hot cocoa.”
I smiled at her weakly and patted her on the arm while I brushed past her to the stairs. “Thanks, but I just want to lie down.”
“Okay, let us know if you need anything.”
“I will.”
Climbing the stairs up to my room, I began to feel the effects of exhaustion setting in. I didn’t want to think about what happened at the church, that’s something I would have to deal with later. It didn’t take long to change out of the wet clothes, snuggle into something warm, and bury myself in bed, which was exactly what I needed.
~ * ~
Three hours later, I was disappointed to find myself still in bed and so obviously useless. Footsteps outside the door startled me at first, until I realized who it was. Dad called in to me to see if I was awake, “Wynn?”
Dealing with the Devil (The Earthwalker Trilogy Book 1) Page 27
