He can come find me.
It’s not until I’m stepping into the lobby that I see the gruff, sullen faces of my two bodyguards. Silent One and Silent Two as I like to call them since they’ve refused to say anything, even their names.
They stare at me with dead eyes and crossed arms.
“Hiya boys.” I give them a wide smile, walking toward them like their presence doesn’t annoy me.
I know why I have them, why they’re necessary. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it. They make me feel helpless. Like I can’t protect myself.
Maybe if I hadn’t frozen at the sight of the gun, I’d feel different.
Sure, I’m not the strongest and I refuse to touch or carry a gun, but I know the signs of danger. I know basic moves in case I’m attacked. I took classes in college.
And I dare anyone in my position who’s never had a gun pointed at them do something different. Because I bet they wouldn’t. Saying and doing are two different actions when actually put in the position to show it.
I don’t need two intimidating shadows as a reminder. Not when I’m just going down the block to get some food.
“Right, so.” I grip the strap of my bag. “I’m going to get some sushi. And you two are going to stay here.”
Neither of them blinks, neither react at all. It’s like I haven’t spoken. They’re not going to listen to me. I think they’re still a little angry with me ditching them the night I went to Harlots.
I’m locked in an epic stare down with them and I’m pretty sure neither of these men even know what the word blink is, when someone joins us in the lobby, bringing in a blast of cold air.
“Hi, hi!” a sing-song voice calls, ultimately making me lose as I look up to find Thea, a cheerful smile plastered on her face only for it to slip when she sees three angry faces greeting her. “What’s going on here?”
“I’m going out for dinner.” I glance at the goons. “Alone.”
Silent Two’s nostrils flare.
“Well, that’s a coincidence.” Thea glides closer to us. “I was just going to see if you wanted to hang out.”
Yes! I want to shout. Thank God for Thea, who doesn’t care about following orders from Noah.
“What did you have in mind?” I turn toward her, giving the goons my back.
Her smile is slow. “Something incredibly dangerous and maybe life-threatening.”
I feel the silent twins tense behind me.
Thea’s smile blooms in full as she says, “Shopping.”
“I don’t know.” I give a smile of my own. “Some of the stores can be pretty small and jammed tight. I don’t know if these two” —I hook a finger over my shoulder— “could go in with us. What with their muscular builds and imposing attitudes I don’t know if they’d fit.”
“Hmm.” Thea taps her chin, playing along. “No, no I don’t think they would.” She looks at them over my shoulder. “Boys, you’ll have to stay here.”
They don’t answer, but I don’t take that to mean they’re agreeing. In fact, as I take a step toward Thea and the door so do they.
Bastards. I twist around to glare while Thea tsks at them. “Now, boys. I believe we just said you weren’t invited.” She walks over, linking her arm with mine, and sequentially opens her coat to reveal her gun. “I don’t think anything is going to happen,” she continues. “But if something were? I guarantee I’m a better shot than either of you.”
Mic drop.
And with that, we turn around and walk out of the lobby. A smile on both of our faces.
“What did you want to get, anyway?” I ask Thea when we’re safely in the waiting car Jensen had idling in front of the building.
“I was thinking of getting some more decorations for Noah’s. It’s too gothic for my tastes. I’m thinking pinks. Lots and lots of pink. What do you think?”
I’m thinking Noah Kincaid shouldn’t have let me alone.
Three hours, countless stores, and copious amounts of laughter later, Thea and I find ourselves at my favorite sushi bar.
Across the table, Thea giggles. “I can’t get Jenkins’s face out of my head.”
I laugh, picturing it myself. How shocked he was to see how many bags we were able to get in the few hours we were out.
My arms still feel the weight of them.
“I needed this tonight.” Thea plays with a pair of chopsticks.
“I did too.”
I don’t remember the last time I laughed so hard or smiled so much. Thea is an easy person to get along with. She has this carefree personality that is warm and welcoming. Take tonight, she didn’t need to come check on me, but she did because she wanted to see how I was doing.
And while out shopping we saw a homeless man on the street and she pulled me into the nearest coffee shop ordering the largest hot chocolate they had and a dozen assorted baked goods.
She gave them to the man with a wide smile.
A big heart and caring soul.
She’s such a stark contrast to the guys she hangs out with but equally badass.
“Seriously, Sayer.” She looks me dead in the face. “This is the most normal thing I’ve done in years.”
“Shopping?”
She shakes her head with a sad smile. “Hanging out with a friend.”
I set my chopsticks on the table, confused. “Aren’t you friends with Noah and the guys?”
“Yeah, but not a lot of girl friends. Most of the girls that are in The Underground stay away from me, thinking we can’t be friends because I’m in the ‘inner circle.’” She uses air quotes around inner circle.
“What does that even mean? Inner circle?”
“Just that I’m close with the guys.” She rolls her eyes. “An original founder if you will since I have a share in the building. The four of us built The Underground from nothing.” She speaks with such pride on her face.
“You’re proud of what you’ve built?”
“We all are,” she tells me. “We’ve all come from money, but we don’t depend on our parents. We’ve made our own way.”
I bite my lip. I know she’s not talking about me, but it’s still a reminder that even though I know what it’s like to earn a dollar, I’m relying on the money my granddad left me.
“Shit.” Thea stares at me. “I didn’t mean—”
“I know,” I reassure her.
“Seriously, Sayer—”
“I know, Thea,” I repeat, cutting her off. Not wanting to talk about this anymore I change the subject to something that’s been in the back of my mind this entire night. “Have you heard from Noah?”
She takes a long, slow sip from her drink. Yes, yes she has.
I try not to let my fists curl, those embers roaring into flames. He can reach out to Thea but not me?
She sees the question on my face. “He needed my help, Sayer,” she explains. “It wasn’t a social call.”
And his call to me would be. In my lap, my fists tighten. When she doesn’t offer any more information, I try a different tactic. All a girl is trying to do is get a little information. “Why didn’t you go with him?”
“Yeah, not my kind of field trip.” Thea snorts. “I’m more of an indoor person.”
“They’re somewhere outdoors?” I try to keep my voice relaxed.
It doesn’t work. I’m too starved to know anything.
Thea gives me a look that says nice try. “Outside for me is anything not my office. I’m kind of a desk-body. It’s like a homebody, but I basically live at my desk with my fingers glued to my keyboards.”
It dawns on me I don’t really know what Thea does. I know she works with Noah. So do Gabe and Reeve, but I’ve never paid close enough attention to know all their titles and roles. “What exactly do you do for Kincaid Enterprises?”
Her lips curl in a grin. “I do too much, but mostly it’s a lot of IT stuff.”
“And what do you do at The Underground?”
“The same.” She smiles, but it’s full of secre
ts. Secrets I’m not going to get out of her.
“Can I ask you something?” I trace my finger over the condensation of the glass.
“What have you been doing this entire time?” she asks playfully, but when I don’t offer any humor in return, she sobers up.
“What am I supposed to do when this is over?”
“Then you get to go back to your apartment with your cat and return to life as usual.”
She says it like it’s nothing, but I hear the sadness in her voice.
It’s the same sadness that has found its way into my chest.
Going back to that life after all I’ve seen…is that really what I want?
I ignore the sadness in her voice as I’m hit with a realization.
What I was living before wasn’t a life. Existing without living.
When I left at eighteen, I had nothing to stand on. I got a clean start. No family name was going to carry me, I had to carve my own path.
I threw myself into school, into the art I once painted, but when I lost my granddad I slipped. Fell into a hole I’m climbing to get out of.
Who am I outside school and textbooks?
I’m still the girl that left at eighteen, looking for her place in the world.
I don’t want that.
I don’t want that at all.
My throat closes at the mere thought.
Not when I think I’m close to finding what I came home looking for.
I stand up from the table so abruptly Thea flinches at the sound of my chair screeching against the tile.
“Sayer?” she calls. “Where are you going?”
“Bathroom,” I call as our waiter walks past me with the food.
Heading down the hall that has the bathrooms, I march past to the last door and push it open. The cold air welcomes me as I step into the night.
I just need a little air, I tell myself. I just need to collect my thoughts and the restaurant was too loud.
Except, a little air turns into me slowly walking down the street and foot traffic weaving around my slow, lost steps.
But no matter how far my feet carry me, I can’t escape Thea’s words.
I know she didn’t mean them in the way they hit me, but it doesn’t stop the sting any less.
I don’t want that life anymore. The one I’ve spent six years convincing myself was right for me.
All because I got a little taste.
All because of Noah.
Noah, the infuriating asshole who just leaves without a goodbye.
Noah, the man who unravels me like no one else.
Noah, who’s found a home in the one place I never expected him to be.
My heart.
Frustrated, I kick a littered soda can in my path and it rolls into the street, a car swerving to not hit it. The driver honks and flips me off.
Without thinking, I do it back.
It’s too dark for them to see, but it feels good all the same.
I keep walking until I reach the pier, the cool sea air tangling my hair, tickling my skin.
Maybe if the breeze grows strong enough like a bird, I can fly away.
My elbows rest on the wooden rail and I stare at the ocean, onyx black and furious—deafening waves crash below.
I don’t know how long I stand out here before another person joins me.
“Give me like three minutes, Thea.” I sigh.
“Sayer.”
I freeze while my body ignites at the voice.
It’s deeper than Thea’s.
Intoxicating and lethal.
Noah.
Slowly, my head turns, taking him in.
Standing next to me, mirroring my stance, our elbows almost touch on the rail. He stares at me with his usual unreadable expression, but those intense blue eyes hook me nonetheless.
A battle rages behind them when he looks at me, fighting what’s churning in his head.
“You’re home.” My tone is neutral.
“Miss me?” He grins, but his eyes remain the same, an internal battle.
His words fuel me with anger as I narrow my gaze at him, veins humming in irritation. All the missing I’ve felt for him shriveled away with his sentence.
“No.” I look back to the dark ocean, dismissing him. “To be honest, I forgot you were gone.”
“That so?”
My sharp nod is the only answer he gets out of me. He’s back in the city. And he didn’t tell me.
Did he even leave the city?
Everything in me is ignited as he slides closer, arms caging me in, pressing me up against the wood.
Invading my personal space, he leans in so his scratchy stubble grazes my cheek. “Liar.”
It’s a whisper. It’s an accusation.
Pulling away, I give him a fiery stare. He doesn’t get to act all casual and sensual. “Someone’s ego is hungry tonight.”
Noah doesn’t heed the warning in my tone. He shifts closer, his body curving around mine. “Admit it, Sayer. You missed me.”
His lips press down on the curve of my neck, they feel like venom.
“No.” My teeth grind together as my hands go to Noah’s chest, giving him a shove with each word. “I.” Shove. “Didn’t.”
He barely moves, barely shifts his weight.
I shove again.
Leather gloves cover my bare, cold fingers, keeping them on his chest. “For someone who didn’t miss me, you are protesting quite vocally.”
“That’s because I’m pissed!” I shout, the sound echoing around us. In a lower voice, I add, “I’m pissed that you left to go after my sister and haven’t told me anything.” You left me.
His eyes soften while his words are still sharp. “I don’t report to you.”
“We’re partners in this,” I remind him. “You don’t get to keep me in the dark.”
“I will if I need to, Sayer. If it means keeping you safe, then you bet your ass I will,” he tells me. “If I could, I’d lock you in my home until this is all over.”
My already narrowed gaze hardens like steel. “I dare you.”
“You really want to make that bet?” He steps closer.
A disgusted noise escapes my throat as I push him away. “You don’t…”
My voice trails off as his face shifts, catching the light from the lamppost.
“What happened?” I whispered, taking in his bruised face, the swelling around his eye.
With a tentative hand, I reach up to touch it only for him to grab it with his, pulling it to our sides. “You’re shivering.”
He tries to pull me toward him, but I’m not having it. I step away from his touch. “Did you find her?”
He freezes, eyes narrowing.
“If I did, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
It feels like a punch in my throat, in my gut. Of course we wouldn’t be here. Because I’m nothing more than a means to an end.
Seeing my reaction, his jaw hardens, hands flexing at his sides, but he doesn’t try to reach for me again. He doesn’t say anything.
Good. I’d probably knee him in the groin if he did.
Words don’t begin to cover how I feel right now, crashing into the deep abyss of the sea with nothing to rescue me.
“C’mon, let’s go home.” He starts to walk away, expecting me to follow, which I do. If only because I’ve lost feeling in my fingers and I refuse to lose any of them because I was too stubborn and too naive to let Noah worm his way into a place he had no business being in the first place.
Tonight I’m on a date with a devil.
A devil with black-framed glasses and a tailored suit to be exact.
I’ve tried to ignore the little stab in my chest, tried to ignore it all day. Tried to ignore it for a couple days. Ever since he came back empty from his manhunt of my sister.
Apparently, the lead Noah was given was a cold one, taking him and Reeve all the way to Maine for nothing.
Now he’s in a frantic search to find her. And I’ve become backgroun
d noise, competing with the newest houseguest of Hotel Kincaid—the ghost of my sister.
“Are you going to be like this the whole time?” he grumbles as we pull up to the valet outside of Reeve’s art gallery. The same art gallery where Noah finger banged me against the painting.
Turning my head, I blink once, twice, taking in the frustration on his face.
I haven’t said a word to him all day, not when he handed me a box that held the dress I’m wearing now. Not when he took my hand in his, leading me to the couch to gift me a pair of shoes.
Or re-gift since they were the shoes he stole from me the first night at Heathen’s Hell.
I didn’t say anything as he slipped them on. Fastening the strap around my ankle, where his hand lingered for the briefest of touches before I stood up.
“Depends,” I answer, hand going to the door. Already wanting this night to be over. I’m tired of pretending.
“On?”
“Are you going to keep ignoring me or go back to acknowledging my existence?” I open the door and get out before he can respond.
He follows suit, handing the keys to the valet before walking over, grabbing my elbow and pulling me to his side. “I don’t think I need to remind you of tonight’s objective.”
I grind my teeth before remembering we’re in a place people can see us. Plastering on the fakest smile I can muster, I stare into his soulless eyes. “Of course not, darling.”
His eyes narrow at my endearment.
I know my role perfectly at this point.
Together, arm in arm, we walk into the room, gaining attention within seconds.
In the eyes of society, I’m the darling daughter of a prominent family and he’s the orphan who owns half their properties.
I’m their equal while Noah’s their superior.
“You have to at least act like you like me, Sayer.” He pulls me close, but I’m stiff against his side.
After several tense breaths, I force myself to relax.
“It feels weird. Being here,” I admit as Noah grabs two flutes of champagne from a passing tray.
He stiffens before handing me one. “Why?”
Not for the reasons it should.
“It reminds me of Winter Formal.” I down half the glass of bubbly at the thought. With the lights on and all the people here, I feel like I’m about to make my debut all over again. We had it in the city’s museum. Art was everywhere like it is now. It was the only part I enjoyed about that night.
Under the Lies Page 23
