Beyond the suffering, they had lived life in joyous celebration of the love they believed in. The love for the land. The love for their life companions. The love for their children. The love for the traditions handed down to them for more than 500 years. And above all, their fervent love for Da Hah. Did not that count for something?
Teresa pulled at her elbow. “Get in line with me. The boys are moving through.”
“I’m not married,” Susan protested. “The girls aren’t going through yet.”
“Then perhaps today you can pretend,” Teresa said, her voice teasing.
Susan gave in, falling in line with the young married women. No one looked at her strangely. They probably knew this was Teresa’s doing. And Mamm and Daett weren’t here, so everyone would go out of their way to make things easier for her.
Susan and Teresa took their plates to the front porch and sat on the benches that had been set up. Over at the young married men’s table someone must have been telling a hilarious joke because laughter was rising in a roar.
“Sounds like someone still has plenty of energy left,” Teresa commented.
“I’m sure the foremen are watching and remembering for the work this afternoon,” Susan said.
“I have to tell you something,” Teresa leaned over to whisper.
“Yah?” Susan waited.
“Mom’s seeing someone in town.”
“Your mamm?”
Teresa smiled in glee. “Someone she met at the bookstore. I haven’t met him yet, but Mom claims he’s a gut Christian.”
“But she can’t possibly know him very well so soon.”
Teresa shrugged. “Mom’s a wise woman.”
“Then she’s staying around. At least that’s gut news.”
Teresa took a drink of her lemonade. “Honestly, I can’t believe how blessed I am. Samuel has a daett. I have a husband. And now mom is living near here and making friends.”
“I’m so happy for you. And I can take any gut news there is right now, believe me.”
“It will happen to you. I know it will,” Teresa said. “And now, I’d better check on Samuel. I left him with all those babies upstairs.”
“Give him a kiss for me,” Susan said as Teresa disappeared into the house.
In front of her, the men were stretching out on the lawn, their hats pulled over their eyes. Some of them looked sound asleep. Soon they would be hard at work again, and the women would have a chance to catch their breath. By nightfall the barn would be completed. Not that unusual a thing really. It happened because they all worked together. Here there was hard work, but there was also great joy. If she could endure her own pain, this would all be over before long. Mamm and Daett’s time of trial would be completed. And when the Sunday after communion came she would make the big choice. She would join the instruction class, taking the first step toward her baptismal vows.
Today was a strange day to decide such a thing, Susan figured. But she had decided, strange day or not. And she would not be changing her mind this time. Not because of Thomas or anyone else. Not if she had to live as an old maid all her life. The time had come to join the community in a real way. The road now lay before her, clear and open.
Mamm and Daett would be so happy. Even with their aching hearts they would urge her on the way. That was the way life was supposed to be here in the community. Lived together in pain, in sickness, in health, and in joy. It was time she became one with them. It was high past time.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
On Sunday morning, Steve lowered his head against the wind as he shook hands with the long line of men standing beside the barn, all the while hanging on to his hat as the early morning gusts sailed across the barnyard.
“Doesn’t look like it’ll rain,” one of the men offered.
“No, I don’t think so either,” Steve agreed.
“Silo filling’s up for this week,” another added.
Steve nodded, taking his place at the end of the line. The murmur of the conversation rose and fell around him. Other men came down the line to shake his hand, muttering the occasional “gut morning” to him.
Steve watched as Menno pulled in with his surrey. He stopped at the end of the walk, and Anna climbed out. Moments later Susan came from the other side of the buggy, and the two women went up the sidewalk. Their shawls moved with the wind, the flayed ends flapping as the two clung to their bonnets. With their heads turned sideways against the wind, they disappeared into the washroom.
Would Susan be among the new baptismal class this morning? Steve wondered. All week he had wanted to ask what her plans were. Perhaps tell her of his feelings for her. Hoping that if he did, his words might influence her to take the final step. But this couldn’t be done that way. Not if he wanted to live with himself. Not if he wanted to trust her completely. He must see what Susan chose on her own with no influence from him.
And there were plenty of reasons why Susan might choose otherwise. She had already been out in the Englisha world once, and now she had plenty of reason to do so again. Thomas had dumped her. Her daett and mamm were in the bann. He was close enough to the family to see how much it was hurting all of them.
Menno’s drawn face after communion still lingered in his mind. The man seemed to have aged years in those few hours, his back stooped even more after the service ended. Likely Menno hadn’t missed partaking in a communion service since he was baptized—unless for a bodily illness, but not for reasons of his soul. And Menno’s heart had clearly gone out of the farmwork. Oh, he came out every morning as always, but the strain showed.
Steve had done what he could to show his intentions to Susan these past few weeks without revealing too much. The woman had attracted him from the time Menno had taken him on as his hired man. But she had been dating Thomas then. And he wouldn’t have even considered interfering with another man’s relationship. Plus, Susan hadn’t noticed him. At least not in that way.
But now with the double blows of Thomas and her mamm and daett’s bann, perhaps he should have moved in at once and made his feelings known. Any normal man would have done so. But he was much too cautious. And this time he might have waited too long. What if Susan didn’t join in the instruction class this morning? Would he always wonder if he should have done this differently?
He could have asked Susan home officially from the hymn singing after Thomas dropped her instead of just giving her the little ride on that one night. But he hadn’t. Was it because he hung on to some obstinate conviction about doing things the right way? What if he lost Susan? The one girl who had finally caught his full attention?
“You’ll have to settle down someday,” his mamm had told him many times, but he had never wanted to. Until now. Not that he had that much to offer a girl. He wasn’t outgoing like Thomas. He couldn’t crack a joke after church and have the young boys roll on the benches in mirth. He ought to have settled for the first girl who would take him, but he hadn’t. He had held out for something. And now he knew what it was. Rather, who it was—Susan Hostetler. The bright, sunny, smart girl who had spent time in the Englisha world.
“Bachelors turn weird after a while,” his mamm had warned. “Old and tattered and messed up in the head. You need a woman to soften your edges, Steve. Do you want me to pick one for you? Or I can get your sisters to ask a girl for you.”
He had laughed and ignored her. Mamms were made to be ignored; at least when one became a certain age and on certain subjects. Instead, he had prayed about a wife. But nothing had happened. Except he had received an offer to be a hired hand for Menno Hostetler in a neighboring county.
Taking the job with Menno had seemed more a choice made out of boredom than anything else. His daett no longer needed his help at home with the younger brothers coming up. But there would have been many things for him to do in Daviess County other than farming. Jobs that paid better money than Menno offered. But he didn’t want to leave farming.
Was this the hand of Da Hah guiding him? Placing hi
m in the right place at the right time? Then why was he wasting time with waiting? Susan belonged in the community. He didn’t need more evidence. Look at how she had been holding up under all the pressure. Standing by the side of her mamm and daett during their time of suffering. Sure there had been the stories he’d heard. Stories of Susan’s travels in the Englisha world. Stories of Susan dating Englisha men. But they were stories. And even if true, they were likely exaggerated. He shifted on his feet as he stood in the line of men.
Had Susan really gone out to fancy restaurants with an Englisha man? Had she spoken of love with him? It seemed so impossible, so completely different from what she was. And yet it could have happened. The signs were there in the way Susan freely threw her head back when she laughed in those moments at the supper table when a faraway look crept into her eyes. It was there in the way she drove her buggy at times—with a touch of recklessness, pushing the horse hard.
Steve shoved his thoughts away long enough to shake another hand and mutter, “Gut morning.” He must get himself out of this frame of mind. Was this how love affected people? Causing them to wander in their mind? If it did, he must be deeply in love the way his mind was going all morning. Tensed up and all emotional about a girl. His mamm would be smiling from ear to ear if she knew and getting her hopes up. But the big question remained. Would Susan go along to the baptismal class this morning? If she did, he would ask her home from the hymn singing tonight.
He took a deep breath at the thought. Susan wouldn’t be surprised, would she? Somehow he figured she already knew. Indeed, she probably was waiting for him to make up his mind. Well, today it would be made up one way or the other.
Steve jerked his head toward the main road as a buggy came racing in the driveway. Someone driving a surrey with a sharp, peppy horse was a little late. What would a man with a family be doing with such a horse?
A smile broke across Steve’s face as the buggy dashed up to the walk. The driver was James Troyer. Teresa already had a child, so James must have invested early in a surrey, expecting other children to follow soon.
Teresa was climbing out of the back, her shawl wrapped around the little boy in her arms. A gust of wind caught Teresa’s bonnet and sent it flying back so it was hanging by the strings tied under her chin. James jumped out of the buggy and took the child in his arms while Teresa got her bonnet back on her head. He had left the lines inside the buggy, and there was no way such a wild horse would stand alone without a tight hand on the reins. Someone must still be inside. The Troyers had visitors this morning?
James climbed back inside the buggy and waited for a moment until Teresa arrived safely at the washroom door. He then let out the reins and the horse lunged forward. As he drove closer, the visitor’s face and shirt became visible through the windshield. A young Englisha man? Who could he be? He must be from Teresa’s side of the family. Perhaps one of her mother’s friends.
When James pulled to a stop, the visitor climbed out of the buggy and briefly fumbled with the tugs on his side, obviously wanting to help but clearly not knowing his way around horses and buggies. Steve smiled and ran forward to offer his help. But another boy was already holding the shafts for James when he arrived.
“Gut morning!” Steve offered his hand to the Englisha man. Behind him, James dashed toward the barn, hanging on to his prancing horse.
“Good morning!” The man smiled. He turned his head sideways as the wind blew through his hair. “Kind of gusty out in the country this morning.”
“Yah, it is. Feels like a storm blowing up. But Mullet over there claims it won’t rain. I guess his old bones have been right more often than wrong.”
The Englisha man laughed. He was tall, handsome, and dashing. Exactly the sort of man Susan might have gone out with in the Englisha world. Surely Susan didn’t know this man. After all, he hadn’t arrived with the Hostetler family.
“Robby’s the name,” the man said.
Steve put out his hand. “Steve Mast’s my name.”
“So this is where you have church?” Robby looked over the gathered men. “Susan said yesterday I was welcome to attend. But I couldn’t make up my mind until this morning. Thanks for giving me a welcome right away.”
“Susan?” Steve was staring. “You know Susan?”
“Quite well,” Robby said. “She stayed with us while she was in Asbury Park. Well, not really at our house, except for the last few weeks. The rest of the time she rented the apartment above my mom’s bakery.”
“I see.” Steve swallowed hard. “Are you visiting?”
“I’ve been visiting my aunt in Livonia,” Robby said. “I thought I’d stop by since I know Teresa and Susan. Teresa offered me a ride to the service this morning, and I accepted.
“When did you arrive?”
“Yesterday.”
“Are you staying long?”
“Well, I hope to spend more time with Susan before I leave. Catch up on old times. Teresa said perhaps she could have Susan and me over for supper on Monday night. I really can’t stay longer than that.”
“I see.” Steve cleared his throat. He motioned with his head toward Bishop Henry, who was leading the long line of men to the front-porch door. “It’s time for church to start. You can follow me in if you wish. Sit with us young men, even if you’re married.”
“Oh, I’m not married,” Robby said. “Am I allowed to sit with the girls?”
He must be joking! Steve thought, glancing over at him. The man clearly had a twinkle in his eye.
“I might get you a seat with the married women,” Steve replied. “I think they’d trust you there.”
Robby laughed. “I like you people, that’s for sure. You have a great sense of humor. Susan always was like that. I had more fun with her than I’ve had with almost any girl I’ve known.”
“What do you mean?” Steve asked. But he didn’t wait for an answer as he blended into the line of young men, Robby staying close behind him. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer to that question.
Robby stayed with Steve as they moved toward the house. Steve’s mind raced with questions. When had Robby been at the Hostetler place? He hadn’t worked on the farm yesterday afternoon. Was that when Robby arrived? Englisha cars came and went all day because Anna was still selling the last of her garden produce, so Steve wouldn’t have noticed even though he worked on the farm. Surely nothing was unusual here. Susan wouldn’t do anything inappropriate, would she? Of course not. He had to keep believing that. Robby couldn’t have been the man she used to go out with in the Englisha world. He wouldn’t dare walk in here like this, as if nothing was wrong if that were the case.
Steve followed the line of boys into the living room, sliding sideways on the hard bench as he sat down. He took several deep breaths, trying not to look toward the girls section. Abe Troyer’s house was warm this morning, and sweat beads crept out under his shirt collar.
When the first song was announced, Bishop Henry stood up and led the line of ministers upstairs. Two boys got up to follow, and three girls after that. Steve forced himself to look. He had to know if Susan was among them. At least that would supply some comfort. His gaze caught sight of her familiar face, with her head bowed low and her gaze on the floor, leading the girls upstairs. So he had judged Susan’s character correctly. He let out a sigh of relief. But why was this Robby guy sitting beside him?
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Three hours later, Bishop Henry was still preaching the closing sermon. Steve glanced over at the clock on the living room wall. A few more minutes and the bishop would surely wrap up his thoughts. Robbie shifted again beside him on the hard bench; obviously trying for a more comfortable spot after sitting longer than he was used to. Robby could get over his discomfort on his own, Steve decided. Steve had been stealing glances at Susan and keeping track for the entire service. Not once had Susan looked their way from where she was seated in the unmarried girls section.
Was something wrong? Was Susan ashame
d of letting him know she knew Robby? Susan didn’t normally look his way during the church services. Though with Robby beside him, surely her eyes would have strayed over once or twice if she knew the Englisha man? If Robby meant anything to her, that is. Since Susan hadn’t looked, did that mean Robby hadn’t been her boyfriend in that Englisha past of hers? He really was being a jealous old coot, Steve told himself. He hadn’t even asked Susan home yet. He had no right to stake a claim on her. Yet he couldn’t stop the questions. Perhaps Susan only knew Robby as a friend? There certainly was no devious air around the Englisha boy. And would he have come to church if he planned to lure Susan out into the world again? Not likely.
Steve’s eyes had followed Susan when she came down the stairs after the instruction class. She cut quite a striking figure, as she always did, but today even more so in her new, dark-blue dress, no doubt made especially for the occasion. The new dress meant the baptismal class had not been something Susan decided overnight. She planned to stay in the community. And if all that was true, perhaps Da Hah could bring about feelings between them that could grow into something serious. If this Robby didn’t make trouble anyway.
Steve forced himself to look away from Susan as Bishop Henry wrapped up his thoughts. Minutes later the bishop asked for testimony from two men before taking his seat.
Deacon Ray cleared his throat and spoke first. “I can say that all we have heard here today was from the Word of God and is the Word of God for us. The many warnings given today against the world have pierced our hearts again, reminding us that we are only pilgrims and strangers on this earth. Let us remember this in the days and weeks ahead as we seek to walk in the fear of Da Hah.” He paused and then continued, “I want to mention our baptismal class that began today. I know that those in the class no doubt wrestled long and hard with this decision. And yet they have made the choice to forsake the world with all its lusts and join the church that dwells on this earth.”
Where Love Grows Page 20
