I sat behind my desk and tried to do anything that would keep my mind off her. It was working for the most part until someone dropped a textbook loudly onto the wooden floor. My eyes immediately met hers. She held my gaze this time, not looking down. She was biting her lip and I was thankful I was sitting down and able to hide my growing wanting for her. I licked my lips and her cheeks burnt pink. I immediately began to shuffle through the papers on my desk. I would have to learn to be in her presence without letting her have this effect on me. I was nothing more than a teacher to her. If she only knew the things I could teach her.
Time sped back up and the class ended before I knew it. I was careful not to meet her gaze as she dropped off her paper and made her way outside of the room. Fuck. I waited for the halls to clear before heading off to the men’s room. I splashed some cold water on my face and avoided my reflection. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I grew uncomfortably hard against my zipper. I slipped my hand down the waist of my pants and readjusted myself. The slightest touch caused a shockwave to ripple through my body. I wanted it to be her hand. I wanted to feel her against me. I gripped myself tighter as I throbbed against my fingers.
The sudden sound of muffled laughter echoed through the walls. I pulled myself from my fantasy and splashed some more water on my face. The laughing grew louder and I realized it was from the adjoining bathroom. I slipped out into the hallway and listened for a moment. The faint smell of marijuana filled the air.
“Girls” I called out in a commanding tone. The giggling ceased immediately. After a moment of whispering, the door finally opened. I almost fell over as I saw Emma staring back at me. She looked terrified but quickly gave way to another fit of laughter. I don’t know what upset me more, her blatant disregard for herself or the fact that she laughed in my face. I clenched my jaw as I tried desperately not to slip into my dom mentality. “Emma? You think this is funny?” I narrowed my eyes at her and waited for a response. She stopped laughing and shook her head no, throwing herself off balance. I grabbed her arm and pulled her towards my classroom, hoping no one had seen her. Was she trying to ruin her life? “You’re lucky I don’t have a class this period.” I pulled her inside the room and closed the door, making sure I drew the blind on the window. She sobered up immediately. She looked scared. I didn’t want her to be afraid of me. I needed to calm down. She wasn’t my concern. If she screwed up her entire life that had nothing to do with me. I ran my hands through my hair and took a moment to calm myself. I grabbed my ruler and spun it in my hands, trying to decide where to go from here. She bit her lip as she eyed the ruler nervously. Did she know what I wanted to do with it? “Stop biting your lip.” I said angrily and slapped the ruler on the desk. She jumped at the loud crack, causing her to bite harder. A thin trail of crimson dotted her pouty lip. Fuck. I had made her hurt herself. She really was scared of me.
“I’m sorry.” She said quietly as her fingers touched her lip. She was sorry? I had caused her to hurt herself and she was apologizing to me. I walked towards her slowly, not wanting to alarm her. I needed to be closer to her, to make her feel at ease. I reached my hand up and slowly ran my fingers over her bloodied lip.
“Breathe” I whispered, leaning in closer. She pulled me to her like a magnet and I was not a strong enough man to resist. We stood painfully close to each other, as time seemed to stop in her presence. I couldn’t be sure but I thought she felt it too. Suddenly a loud ringing broke the spell. I dug my phone from my pocket. Angela was calling to make plans for tonight. I could barely hear her over the thudding of my heart in Emma’s presence. I watched her as she watched me. Her cheeks a slight touch of rose as she bit at her lip out of nervous habit. I narrowed my eyes at her and she quickly released it from her teeth. A natural submissive. I grew hard again at the thought. She turned and wandered around the room allowing me a moment of privacy to end my phone call. I let Angela know I wasn’t feeling up to doing anything. Not her at least.
I walked quietly up behind Emma, who was looking over some posters that hung on the far wall.
“You should get to your next class.” I whispered in her ear as I drank in her flowery scent. She did not turn to face me.
“So, I’m not in trouble?” She asked. If I didn’t know any better, there was disappointment in her voice.
“I didn’t say that.” I couldn’t keep from grinning. She breathed deeply and nodded her head.
“Yes, Sir” She replied as she grabbed her books and made her way back out into the hall. I ran my hands through my hair and laughed at myself. What the fuck was I doing? What the fuck was she doing to me? I slipped my hand inside the waist of my pants and readjusted myself. I knew exactly what she was doing to me. I walked out into the hall to clear my head. Emma stood talking with some friends, no doubt the ones who left her hanging, at the end of the hall.
“Get to class, Ladies.” I called out. Her friends quickly scattered but Emma paused to look back at me. Her bright green eyes locked onto mine before she turned to make her way to her next class. I stepped back inside my room. I needed to get a grip on myself before I did something I would regret. She would regret. I swung at a stack of papers on my desk, sending them flying around me. If Emma did like me, she wouldn’t once she found out what kind of man I really was. I was incapable of getting close to anyone. I would use her and when she got too close, I would hurt her. I had done it countless times before to countless women. The difference was those women where no better than me. They lied, they cheated, and the used me as much as I used them. Emma was not like them. She did not deserve to be treated that way and I wasn’t sure it was possible for me to treat her any differently. Even if I could, what would she say when she saw the kind of things I really liked to do? She would be disgusted. I ran my hands through my hair and slammed them down onto the desk. I had gotten close enough, too close in fact. I needed her to know it could never go anywhere. I wasn’t stupid. I had been with my share of woman. I knew what was going on in her mind. She wanted me, but she wanted more of me than I could ever give.
The next few classes went by painfully slow. As the day ended, I made my way out into the hall, watching as everyone filed by. Then I spotted her and everyone else seemed to fade into the background. Emma was staring directly at me as her friends clung to her side. They were making plans to go out to the movies later that night. Emma agreed to meet them and I shot her a quick smile before slipping back inside my room to grab my things. If she did like me, she wouldn’t after tonight.
Chapter Four
I made my way home through the crowd of traffic as ‘Something I Can Never Have’ echoed through the speakers of my car. Once again, I felt alone. Any happiness I had felt the past few days was gone. Emma would never look at me in any way other than a teacher after tonight.
I made my way upstairs and quickly poured a drink. I drank it down and repeated the ritual a few more times before grabbing my phone and calling Angela.
“I knew you couldn’t resist me.” She purred. My stomach turned. I really needed to make time next week to find myself a sub but for tonight Angela would do for what I needed.
“Want to go out?” She didn’t respond immediately and I contemplated hanging up.
“Yes!” She practically shouted and I realized that taking her out for something other than a public fuck was leading her on even more. I didn’t care.
“Great. Be here in a few hours. Movie starts at eight.”
“Want me to come by early? Maybe have a little fun first?” She asked. I thought about it. I had no reason not to continue to sleep with Angela, especially since I was planning to make Emma never want to look my way again.
“I can’t. I have some things to take care of first.” I lied. I ended the call and poured myself another drink. ‘My dreams aren’t as empty as my conscience seems to be’. The lyric played over and over in my head, taunting me. I needed to remind myself why I didn’t want to fall for Emma. Aside from protecting her from me, I needed to protect mys
elf. I made my way into my room and pulled open my dresser drawer. Tucked away between the clothes was a picture of my ex-wife, Abby. She once was the most beautiful woman in the world to me, but now all I felt was hatred when I looked at her. She had chosen money over me, over our family. My eyes began to blur at the sudden memories that flooded my head. Never again. I slid the picture back into the drawer and got ready for the night.
After a quick shower, I drank a few more shots. I took the elevator up to the next floor to remind myself of who I was. The room was dark and uninviting, a playground for a dom. Perhaps I would bring Angela up here. Who knows, maybe she wouldn’t be that opposed to it and if she was, who cares? She was a dime a dozen.
I heard the doorbell echo throughout the building. I made my way back to my main floor and answered the door. Angela was beaming. I grabbed my wallet and ushered her outside before she could try to squeeze in a quickie.
“What are we going to see?” She asked as she placed her hand on my thigh. I glanced down at her hand and over to her. She drew back her arm quickly. I needed to calm down. Why was I wound so tight? Maybe a quickie wouldn’t have been such a bad idea.
“Slash” I said, avoiding her gaze.
“Well, you may have to hold me tight if I get scared.” I could hear the hopefulness in her voice. Maybe this was a bad idea.
We pulled into the theater a good ten minutes before the previews. I paid for our tickets and we made our way inside. The theater was still empty so I chose a spot in the back row so I could watch as everyone filed in. Just before the lights dimmed, I spotted Emma. She was wearing a tight black dress and fuck me heels. Her hair was curled and all I could think about was wrapping my fingers in it. The lights dimmed and the previews began to play. Angela snuggled in closer to me and I didn’t pull away. It was nice to have the contact, even if I wished it was with someone else.
The movie wasn’t as terrible as I had thought it would be. After a while, I was sucked in to the plot, anxious to see what would happen next. I noticed some commotion up front as Emma stood and tried to make her way through the crowd. It was now or never. I grabbed Angela and slipped out of the back exit into the hall. I pulled her up against the wall and began kissing her. She didn’t protest. I teased my way down her neck as she smacked me playfully on the chest. As my lips met hers, I opened my eyes to glance past her and my gaze immediately fell on Emma. She bit her lip and for a moment, I wished I wouldn’t have come. I wanted so badly for my lips to be on hers. She looked hurt and I knew without a doubt that she had felt what I had. She disappeared into the restroom and I used the time to get myself out of there. She had seen enough to know I wasn’t worth her time.
Chapter Five
I took Angela back to my place and told her I had a migraine. She offered to stay and take care of me but I assured her I would sleep it off. After she had left, I checked the time. The movie would just be ending now. I poured a drink. I couldn’t get her off my mind. I was starting to scare myself. She reminded me of who I used to be. Back before Abby had destroyed everything that I was. Abby was my math teacher in high school. She was the picture of perfection. She made me care about myself, my future. I fell for her quickly. I knew how easy it was for someone vulnerable to fall for someone in a position of power over them. I needed to be careful not to do that to Emma. Look what it got me. I lost the one person I had loved to greed. My father paid her to break my heart and she took the bait. The saddest thing was our unborn child who was lost in the process. I poured another drink and slammed it back.
I was too damaged to ever be anything to anybody else. I barely knew Emma but she had awakened feelings in me I hadn’t known I was still capable of having. I couldn’t ever be that person again. I wanted to be that person again. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through the contacts. I hit the call button and waited for an answer.
“William, what are you doing? You can’t call me this late.” Angela’s hushed panicked tone brought me back to reality. She wasn’t concerned about how I was feeling. She didn’t get butterflies at the sound of my voice. I was nothing to her. The feeling was mutual. I hung up the phone and tossed it on the couch. I needed to get out of this fucking place.
I grabbed my keys and some cash and made my way downstairs to my car. I needed to regain control of myself. I needed to be reminded of what I was. I drove across town to the edge of the city. In a seedy strip mall that had long been forgotten to most, a few cars dotted the parking lot. I whipped behind the building and parked my car. As I walked across the dark lot, I hit the lock on my car and walked inside. The main lobby was dimly lit and three woman sat on their heels, heads bowed in a row by the front desk.
“Mr. Honor. What a pleasure to see you, Sir.” The husky redhead behind the desk greeted me. I nodded politely as my eyes danced over the kneeling women.
“The usual Sir?” She asked and my eyes shot up to meet hers. I nodded and made my way back the dimly lit corridor. I was in my element. I felt whole again inside these walls. I stopped in front of door three. A bulb glowed red just above the frame. I took a deep breath and stepped inside. I quickly unbuttoned my shirt and slid it off, draping it over a bench it the corner, followed by my under shirt. I slipped off my shoes and socks and slid them under the bench as well. I was ready. The door opened a few minutes later and a small framed brunette slipped inside. I immediately dropped to my knees; resting on my heels.
“Good boy.” She praised me. I took a deep breath and relaxed. My life thrived on having control and when I felt lost I handed that control over to someone else. It was therapeutic.
She walked around me, her finger running along my shoulders. She traced the lines of the tribal tattoo that wound its way down my arm. “You know what makes a good master, William?” She asked as she made her way to the front of me. I didn’t answer, didn’t look up at her. “You may respond.” I took a deep breath and thought about her question.
“I don’t think I know anymore.” I replied honestly. She bent over and grabbed my chin in her hand, jerking it up towards her.
“Respect” She said simply and let go of my face. She walked over to the shackles that hung from the corner of the room. “Come” She said. I rose to my feet and stared at the floor as I made my way to her. She grabbed my left arm and locked it into place above my head. “You respect me as your Mistress and give me control over you.” She grabbed my other arm and raised it above my head. “I respect you and would never do anything to you that you don’t want.” She continued as she clicked the cuff into place. “Not everyone will understand this lifestyle, William and not everyone is cut out for it.” She explained as she undid the buckle of my belt and slowly pulled it towards her. She leaned in closer so I could feel her breath on my ear. “You are.”
For the next hour, she taunted and teased me until I remembered what it was like to have full control even when I was powerless at the hands of another. Our sessions never went any further than that. She would push me to the brink of pleasure without ever letting me fall over the edge. I felt renewed and as if I had a better grasp on whom I was again. Seeing things from a sub’s perspective made me a better dom.
Chapter Six
I awoke as a new man. I got up and made my way to the gym on 32nd Street to start my morning. I had made my mind up that this evening, after work, I would start taking applications for a new official sub. I had tried my hand in the dating world but it was more of a hassle than anything else. I was still holding a lot of resentment towards Abby and just didn’t have the right mentality for anything other than a dom/sub relationship. Emma had officially been removed from my every waking thought. So had Angela for that matter. At least, that is the lie I told myself.
I ran through the showers in the locker room and headed over the bistro on the corner for some breakfast. I placed my order with the petite blonde waitress. There was nothing extraordinary about her. She was attractive, yes, but looked exhausted. Still, something about her caught my eye. As she tipped her head to f
ill my mug with coffee, I realized who she was. She was much different not kneeling naked in the middle of a lobby, but I was certain it was her. When she glanced back at me her cheeks where pink and I knew that she had recognized me as well.
“Thank you.” I said as she finished.
“You are welcome, Sir.” She replied with a wicked grin and turned to make her way behind the counter. Maybe I wouldn’t have to go through an application process after all.
Chapter Seven
I made my way to work early. I needed to see Emma and reassure myself that I felt nothing for her. She triggered something inside me that I still hadn’t worked through with Abby. That was it. That is what I told myself all morning. I also wanted to gauge her reaction towards me after the scene at the movies. I wanted to know that she didn’t care.
Angela was trying her hardest to corner me so we could talk. There was nothing to talk about. I couldn’t give her what she needed and she couldn’t give me what I needed. I wasn’t even sure myself what that was.
When it was finally time for Emma’s class, I sat at my desk, twirling my ruler out of habit. I watched the class slowly fill and there was no sign of her. For a moment, I had thought she was running late so I could keep her after class. I quickly pushed that thought aside. I eventually had to start the lesson. My stomach was twisting in knots. I just wanted to know she was okay. I decided I was going to skip out of the last few classes of the day. I needed more time. My head still wasn’t right and Emma, present or not, was fucking me up beyond repair.
Honor Thy Teacher (Honor Series) Page 2
