His last words were to his son, Tony. “You were my life.”
Merv died at one o'clock on Sunday morning, August 12, 2007.
Before he entered the hospital for the final time, Merv—perhaps knowing he was about to die—summed up his days on earth. “I like my life. When I look back on it, I don't have many regrets. It was all great fun.”
“Regrets. I've had a few…”
Epilogue:
MERVGATE
On August 17, 2007, the invitationonly funeral of Merv Griffin was held in The Church of the Good Shepherd in Beverly Hills. The interior of the church had sometimes been used by film companies for fake funerals, including a scene from Judy Garland's 1954 A Star Is Born. Elizabeth Taylor had also married her first husband, Nicky Hilton, in this same church.
Merv's coffin was buried under a mass of white flowers, with one single rose.
A grief-stricken Nancy Reagan was an honorary pallbearer. Merv had been an honorary pallbearer at President Reagan's funeral in 2004.
When the news reached her in Bel Air, Nancy's reaction to Merv's death had been immediate. “This is heartbreaking, not just for those of us who had loved Merv personally, but for everyone around the world who has known Merv through his music, his television shows, and his business.”
At the funeral, Nancy could be seen brushing away a tear as the choir sang “Amazing Grace.”
The other most distinguished guest was Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who had made his U.S. talk show debut on Merv's show in 1974. He told the assembled guests that, “I can say today I wouldn't have gone as far in my career if it wouldn't have been for Merv Griffin. He had me on many times. I was on his show to teach him about fitness, and he would teach me about acting. Well, neither worked.”
The governor spoke to five hundred mourners who included Alex Trebek, Vanna White, Larry King, Suzanne Somers, and Dick Van Dyke.
Pat Sajak, host of Wheel of Fortune, said, “I'm dealing with sadness and the realization that I will never hear that wonderful laugh of his again. He meant so much to my life, and it's hard to imagine it without him.”
Funeral rites:
Nancy Reagan,
Arnold and Maria Schwarzenegger
As a sign of changing times, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi were caught walking hand in hand toward the chapel for Merv's funeral. Ellen later told the press, “Merv was, as you know, a genius. He was brilliant. He created all kinds of amazing shows. He sang, he danced, and he talked. I'm going to start singing in honor of Merv.”
The entertainment mogul, David Geffen, who is also “out,” was in attendance that day, too.
Yet another member of the audience was also “out.” Rosie O'Donnell, who claimed that her popular show was “totally Mervinspired. I didn't create anything. I just copied Merv Griffin.”
Forgetting past disagreements, Zsa Zsa told the press, “I'm very upset at the news. He was a very close friend of ours, a good friend of mine, and a good friend of Eva's. He was a vonderful, vonderful man.”
George W. Bush said, “For over half a century, Merv Griffin entertained America. He was a man of innovation and energy who greeted challenges with laughter and determination.”
Speaking to People magazine, Ryan Seacrest said, “Merv was a dear friend and my idol. He gave me my first break into show business, and for that I will forever be grateful. Merv is a true legend and will continue to be an inspiration.”
Seacrest also announced that as an empire builder, he wanted to become his generation's version of Merv. He also reminded Entertainment Weekly that, “I'm not gay.”
In his usual tasteless way, gaybashing Jerry Lewis announced to the press that “Griffin deserved to die,” because he avoided treating his prostate cancer. The comedian claimed that he was furious at his friend, “because he had the same disease I did, and I was cured after seeing doctors. You can't have cancer and say, ‘I'll be all right’. You're not going to be all right.”
The remains of Merv were interred in the Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetery, where he joined such illfated ghosts of yesterday as Marilyn Monroe and Natalie Wood.
***
All hell broke loose three days later, on August 20, when Merv was posthumously “outed.” Hollywood Reporter scribe Ray Richmond wrote in his weekly column that Merv, the megamogul, was a “Big Ol’ Gay Homosexual,” which was hardly a secret within the film industry. As another mogul put it, “We knew that Merv was gay like we know our own names.”
The story had been headlined, GRIFFIN NEVER REVEALED MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN. The news agency, Reuters, picked up the story in its news feed and syndicated it internationally.
Merv's “people” called the Reporter and made several threats, including the yanking of advertising. Some of Merv's associates cancelled a tribute ad that they had planned to run in the Reporter.
The column was yanked by Editor Elizabeth Guider, who caved in to pressure from Merv's angry cohorts.
Her action led to a reverse reaction. Readers deluged the Hollywood Reporter with demands that the column be restored—and after a few hours it was. Reuters, however, refused to restore the syndication of the column, unbelievably claiming that “it did not meet our standard for news.”
In outing Merv, Ray Richmond claimed, “I wanted to make sure that the truth was out there and not a version of it that allowed everyone to make Merv the subject of gossip or the butt of jokes. I wanted to put the truth out there in a loving and concerned way. One could make the point that it was his business alone, but I don't think this was true, because he was a public figure—and this was who the man was.”
Pam Spaulding, writing for Pandagon, gave her reaction to Mervgate. “The real problem is the news media, which has no problem recounting the endless romances of stars (real or alleged). The ‘legitimate’ press can be ridiculously squeamish about reporting basic facts about gay public figures (such as the partner left behind).”
The gay and lesbian press also weighed in. The Gay & Lesbian Review, published this statement: “One doesn't speak ill of the dead, but does saying that someone was gay qualify, and isn't that being homophobic rather than polite? Of course, Merv could have saved a lot of agonizing if he had just come out of the closet and taken a lover to be ‘survived by’ (and to inherit his billions).”
In a surprise move, even The New York Times virtually “outed” Merv when they mentioned in his obit that he'd been the victim of a palimony law-suit and a maleonmale sexual harassment law-suit.
Michelangelo Signorile, the noted gay author, wrote after Merv's death, “Though he'd quietly led a gay life—and had his pool parties filled with young men in the years past, as well as a parade of boyfriends—that was viewed as ‘private information’ that was not discussed in mixed company. I had interviewed many gay men who'd known Griffin as gay, as well as men who told stories about how his closet had him doing horrendous things—and how he was threatened by openly gay people.”
When the furor died down over his Hollywood Reporter column, Ray Richmond reflected on the uproar. “I have to wonder if the response in defense of keeping Griffin's secret life a secret postmortem would have been as acute had he died penniless and forgotten. It would seem there is a direct relationship between the size of one's estate and the level of security guarding his or her heretofore undisclosed sexual orientation. And it appears that $1.6 billion will buy an awful lot of closet space.”
***
In the wake of Merv's death, hundreds of persons came forward with either fond remembrances or critical attacks. Most of Merv's fans wished him God's speed, but many bloggers went to work, criticizing Merv for having led a closeted life. His sexual peccadillos were also aired, including several postings from men who had serviced Merv over the years. “In later life he ordered four or five male prostitutes at one time,” the head of a male escort agency in Los Angeles charged.
In one notorious incident, which took place at New York's Palace Hotel, a callboy claimed he was paid $2,1
00—$700 an hour for three hours—to attend a private little bash with four other handsome young men, mostly models.
Merv had booked the Presidential Suite, one of whose features was a marble bathroom. “Merv had us strip and get in the huge bathtub, where he delighted in pouring the most expensive champagne over our tight, muscular bodies, and then licking the bubbly off our chests. He had his fun.”
Merv's two tellnothing autobiographies were called “a series of shticky sound bites,” reducing a complicated, closeted life to a simple and very vanilla version fit for daytime network TV.
“Talk about an unexamined life,” said book critic John Stafford. “A lot of sounding brass, signifying nothing.”
One blogger predicted that “the books will come out, telling all his secrets, all about his life of LIES.”
Reporter Jon Ponder noted that “Griffin's internalized homophobia was tragic, but it pales in comparison with the hypocrisy of the Reagans, who spent their professional lives in the company of gay people, but then exploited the homophobic Christian Right to gain power. Their silence persisted when Rock Hudson, their friend and a much bigger star than Ronnie ever was, contracted HIV and withered away. Unfortunately, for the Reagans, their hypocrisy on gay issues will be a permanent stain on their legacies. Ironically, for Griffin, despite his many accomplishments, including decades as a talk show host and creating game shows, needlessly living a lie the last thirty years of his life will likely be the only thing he is remembered for.”
The strongest reaction to Merv's death came from Margie Phelps, of the famous Phelps family, the most homophobic in America. They live in Topeka, Kansas, which is the center of their hate ministry.
“Mindless millions sit around watching programs engineered by Merv Griffin,” she charged. “His goal was to dumb down everyone so he could slip around in the back halls doing his filth. America is doomed. We've turned this nation over to feceseating fags, and now you're (sic) children are coming home in body bags. It's too late for this nation. The siege is coming. You're going to eat your children.”
A more reflective, more tolerant, and less psychotic view was posted on The Data Lounge. “A tiger does not change its stripes. Merv was from another time, another era. The times may have changed but he didn't. No stars/celebs from his day ever came out. It was careerkilling. Not Liberace, not Rock Hudson (until AIDS kicked his closet door down), not Robert Reed, nor Van Johnson, who took his glass closet to the grave. A very few have, Richard Chamberlain, Tab Hunter, Johnny Mathis, and a few more. Good for them, but Griffin, like Tom Cruise, has set his cap to portray himself as straight and he could never change his sails. It would have disputed a lifetime's worth of public/selfimage, and he could never have handled it emotionally, despite the fact that most people already knew. Who knows the innermost reasons WHY he never did? It is just not surprising nor particularly repugnant that he did not. I mean, did anyone ever even THINK that he would come out? Gay rights came along in the 60s and 70s, and a lot of things changed, but men who were young in the 40s and 50s simply did not discuss their homosexuality. Ever. Period. The few who found a way out of the closet, good for them. But Merv Griffin was not any different from millions of old guys out there today. They simply lived in a different time and will see the world in a different way until they die. I don't think they deserve our hate.”
“I will not be back”
Acknowledgments
The first time I ever saw Merv Griffin was when my Aunt Bleeka took me to the premiere of So This Is Love, his first starring movie, in which he appeared opposite songbird Kathryn Grayson. We didn't really know who Merv Griffin was, but before the show there had been a parade along the main street of Knoxville, Tennessee. Our primary motivation involved a fascination with Miss Grayson, but as an aggressively promoted part of the venue, we saw Merv ride by, waving from the passenger seat of an open convertible. Teenage girls were screaming at him. Was a new matinee idol, like Rock Hudson or Tab Hunter, in the making?
I next encountered Merv in the late 50s when our University of Miami senior prom committee hired him to entertain us at our big bash. We paid him five hundred dollars for his singing engagement. This represented one of the university's last proms starring an oldfashioned crooner. In the rapidly approaching 1960s, rock ‘n’ roll would inevitably prevail.
Over the years, I encountered him many other times, mainly in California and New York at various parties. We often moved in the same circles, and knew many of the same people, including Montgomery Clift, Roddy McDowall, Guy Madison, Rock Hudson, and the agent and talent scout, Henry Willson.
As the decades passed, I accumulated enough “Merv stories” to fill three volumes. I have talked, literally, to hundreds of people associated with the entertainment industry, not just about Merv, but about dozens of other show business personalities as well. During countless conversations, Merv's name frequently cropped up. Everybody who'd met him had some story to relay, perhaps only a snippet of which I could use. But each of the pieces contributed to the interconnected puzzle of the star's private life.
Mentioned below are only some of the most significant contributors to this biography. Because I've had to leave out many people, I apologize, yet I am nonetheless grateful for their help. Of course, many people who discussed Merv did so strictly off the record.
When I lived in San Francisco, I made several visits to San Mateo, Merv's hometown. There, many of his friends who attended school with him and knew his family were still alive. Each was very helpful, including the musician, Cal Tjader.
The pals of Merv who contributed the most information about his early life were Johnny Riley, Paul Schone, and Bill Robbins. A great deal of the information in this book was provided by Hadley Morrell, Merv's longtime onandoff again companion. After their departure from Merv, each of these men attempted some form of memoir. The Jay Garon-Brooke Agency of New York tried to combine these reminiscences into a comprehensive text evocative of Elvis: What Happened?, the memoir of three of that singer's closest but bythenalienated companions. Every publisher we showed it to at the time deemed Garon's book proposal too hot and too potentially libelous to publish, and the project collapsed.
Other bits and pieces came from such witnesses as Janet Folsom, a source of the information about Merv and his days as an entertainer at the Pebble Beach Lodge. When Stanley Haggart and I worked with Joan Crawford on Pepsi-Cola commercials, she provided a tantalizing insight into her superficial relationship with Merv, whom she did not particularly admire.
Ralph Laven, a close friend of singer Guy Mitchell, attempted to explain the strange friendship that developed between Guy and Merv. When Rita Hayworth was considering appearing as the star of the film The Last Resort, which was based on my novel, Butterflies in Heat, she spoke frankly about her relationship with Merv.
Band leader Freddy Martin was a font of information about the Big Band era and about Merv in particular. In his later years, he was always receptive to granting interviews to reporters who wanted to document the heyday of the Bands during the early 40s and 50s.
Special thanks go to Carlo Fiore, longtime friend of Marlon Brando, who enlightened me about Merv's relationship with Brando. I am especially grateful to my departed friend, Henry Willson, who provided many juicy details about Merv—especially about his relationships with the likes of Guy Madison, Rock Hudson, Troy Donahue, and others.
After many hours of dialogue, an aging Guy Madison in Thousand Oaks, California, turned down my offer to ghostwrite his memoirs. But he was very revealing in uncensored, private talks about his glory years in Hollywood. It was he who provided the information about John Wayne and his affair with Guy's wife, Gail Russell, as well as insights into Merv's minor involvement in this secret liaison.
Peter Lawford and Roddy McDowall were each longtime friends, and neither spoke on record, but each of them were privy to much that was going on in the lives of Hollywood stars who included Merv. Roddy, for example, supplied details about the relationship
between Merv and Richard Long, plus details about numerous other encounters as well. I met with Tom Drake on three separate occasions, when he was selling used cars, years after he could no longer pass as Judy Garland's “boy next door.”
Much of the information about Howard Hughes appearing within this book came from Johnny Meyer, a former personal assistant—read that as “pimp” — of the great aviator.
Both Robert Clary and Robert Loggia have either written or spoken of their friendship with Merv. The link between Merv and his fan club “prexy,” Carol Burnett, is well documented in many sources.
Dear, tumultuous Tallulah Bankhead told hilarious stories about her involvements with Merv. She related these incidents when she was a guest of Mrs. Albert Peirce in Key West, Florida, following her late 1950s road tour of Crazy October.
I am also grateful to the author Shaun Bradford for letting me read his unpublished manuscript on the tragic life of Robert Walker. Likewise, the unpublished memoirs of my friend, Brooks Clift (brother of Montgomery), shed great light on the troubled life of his brother and his link with Merv.
Marty Melcher, former husband of Doris Day, has gone on record in many different published sources about his wife and her relationship with Merv at Warner Brothers.
Rosemary Clooney, during the many evenings she spent at Ted Hook's Backstage Bar in New York City, was no great diva, but an honest straightforward woman who spoke nostalgically about the disappointments in her life. She had only the highest of praise for Merv and what he did for her own come-back.
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