What alternate world did I get dumped on?
Why was the confident, vulgar lady, that I’d grown to... tolerate, acting so different now?
“Gertrude! Where did you get off too? I swear Eloise, your grandmother, runs me ragged. Your father should be dealing with her and her senile ways. I didn’t marry into this family for this.”
The harsh raspy voice from the aisle came closer, and Gertie seemed to twitch at the harshness of the mysterious lady’s tone. Gertie’s eyes still on me, she put her finger over her lips, in the universal quiet motion looking at me in silent plea. I nodded my head as we waited for the woman who had quickly made the top five of my hate list.
Soon enough the lady, with the nasty attitude and harsh voice came around the corner,I was surprised at how beautiful she was, and shocked to see along with her was a younger replica. The only difference between the ladies was the younger version had dark glossy corkscrew curls, while, who I was assuming was her mother,had long straight hair.
Almost upon us as the older lady narrowed her eyes in our direction. While the daughter in question had a small smile on her face while turned slightly to wink at her grandmother.
Oh, I like her.
She made my top five love list.
Right behind, Jennifer Aniston, though to be honest that was more of a love/hate relationship with her.
They came to an abrupt stop in front of us, blocking my buggy from moving.
Had nobody heard of lanes?
I decided against opening a conversation about lanes and rules, so I waited with Gertie to see what she said.
The lady not moving from her spot, glanced over me briefly and dismissed me. She turned her focus back on Gertie.
“Where have you been, did you not hear me call you? Has your hearing gotten that bad?”
Okay, well now somebody was a bitch.
As I waited for Gertie to speak, I glanced at the women in front of us.
Why wasn’t she standing up for herself? Where were the vulgar words that I’d heard these last few times?
Silence was all that I heard. And I think I missed her cursing. Weird.
Nobody spoke, not even the younger lady, who I had felt earlier a sense of camaraderie with. The sassy girl from earlier who winked at Gertie, was now gone. Stunned I was surprised when I tried to meet her eyes and instead they stayed downcast, gazing at the nasty tile of the supermarket.
Okay then.
Guess I would be the one saying something. I’d dealt with many women like this in the south. I thought being bitchy was more of a southern thing, but apparently it was a wide spread dilemma, and in order to stop this wide spread disease I needed to take my kindness in hand. Mama said kill’em with kindness.
Bitch was going to have kindness coming out of her ass.
“Hi, I’m Kelly Green. I’m a friend of Gertie’s and you are?”
She cut her eyes back to me, forgetting about Gertie momentarily she answered. “I’m Gertrude’s daughter-in-law Emma, and this–” she pointed to the younger lady beside her “–is my daughter Eloise.”
I nodded my head in greeting and saw Eloise watching me, so like my grandfather, I plowed on. “Well I just want to let y'all know that Gertie has been a god send to me. Her and her book club, I swear, if I could, I think I might steal her away from you. I mean I would love to have a mother-in-law like her. My ex mother-in-law was such a bitch. You know what I’m saying?”
Her eyes narrowed at me.
“Oh, so you’re in the book club? I was told that it was for older women, or that’s what the ladies in the club always told me.
I smiled brightly at her as I replied back, “Well I guess I’m just an old soul because they took right to me.”
Her lips pursed, she glanced quickly at Gertie and back to me letting out a long breathe.
“Gertie, I believe we’re done for the day, let’s go check out.”
Gertie, who seemed more like herself now, smiled slightly and straightened her shoulders.
Finally.
She smirked at Emma. “You know, why don’t you go ahead and check out, me and Eloise want to talk to Kelly for a second.”
Not liking Gertie getting a backbone Emma replied tersely, “Really, Gertie, how will you know where I am?”
Gertie cut in quickly, “Emma, for heaven’s sake, I believe Eloise has a cell phone she’s twenty three for god's sake. And there’s only two checkout lines to pick from. You’ll either be at one or the other, now go and let us visit with my friend.”
I had to stop myself from jumping and doing a fist pump.
Emma stood shocked at Gertie’s change of demeanor. She smoothed her hand down her shirt as she pulled herself together. “Come Eloise, let’s leave these women to their… conversation.”
Hestitantly Eloise glanced at her mother and then back at me. “Actually, Mom, I think I want to meet Nana’s new friend.”
With a dramatic huff, she grabbed the buggy from Gertie. “Alright talk to your friend but no more than ten minutes, I’m not waiting here all day.”
“Yes, ma’am,” both grandmother and granddaughter chimed in together. Once Emma turned the corner, both ladies burst out laughing.
Yep, that girl just bypassed Jennifer Aniston on my list.
I cleared my throat so they both looked up at me at the same time. Both standing this close to each other, I thought that Eloise looked just liked her mother but standing beside Gertie now, I could definitely see the resemblance of each other. And what Gertie must of looked like forty years ago.
I bet she was beautiful.
I held out my hand towards Eloise, I decided to introduce myself properly this time. “Hi, I’m Kelly Green, and I’m new here to Hazelton, and Gertie really is a friend of mine that I met through the book club.”
She grabbed my hand and shook it before letting go and smiled brightly. Smiling so big, I noticed the small gap between her two front teeth, which for some reason endeared her to me more. “Oh, I know all about the book club. My sister Elizabeth is the one who found Nana’s tablet and showed my mother.”
My eyebrows rose, and I looked at Gertie. “Eloise, Emma, Elizabeth, please don’t tell me your son’s name starts with an ‘E’ too.”
She raised her eyebrows right back to me and uttered one word in return.
“Edwin.”
Laughter burst out of my mouth before I could stop it and in return causing Gertie to laugh. I looked at Eloise and saw a small grin play across her lips.
“I’m sorry, Eloise I love your name it’s just I never pegged Gertie for having one of those types of family. You know the monogram and matching sweater type families.”
She waved her hand as if to brush off what I said. “It’s fine I get it, Nana and I have always been the black sheep of the family.” She knocked her shoulder against her grandmother’s shoulder shoving her a little. “Isn’t that right Nana.”
Smiling at her granddaughter, she looks back at me. “Oh yes, we are in fact. I think you and Kelly would make great friends.”
I winked at her as I get out my phone. “Well if she’s anything like you, then I can say that we would probably get along famously.”
Or at least I hoped so. I needed all the friends I could get.
As I opened my phone I pulled up my contact list. “Eloise, I’m new here and I’d love to have a girlfriend to talk too.”
“What am I chopped liver?”
Ah, there’s the Gertie I know.
“I meant besides you and the girls.”
Eloise took my phone and pulled her’s out of her pocket and handed it to me. Eloise’s phone in hand, I tapped my number into hers as well. “Yeah, I definitely would love to get together, especially someone who has made it into the exclusive book club.”
“Exclusive?”
She nodded her head at me, and ignored Gertie who had her arms crossed and making noises like a child who had not been allowed in the conversation. “Oh yeah, no one’s allowed in their
club and it’s been going on for at least ten years or more. They never let anyone in. Well, until you.”
So in ten years, they had never let anyone in? Why me?
There was only one way to find out. Go to the source.
Gertie.
Because now I was curious and I had to ask. “Gertie if no one is allowed in, then how did I get in?”
She dropped her arms and huffed like I just asked the stupidest question. “You answered the question right, girl.”
What question?
I tilted my head to the side, and thought back to that fateful slash crazy day. “All I was asked was if I liked Jim Beam?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, and what did you say?”
“I said I preferred Jose.”
Eloise who had been listening quietly beside us, busted out laughing. “That’s it? That’s what you ask people, and in over ten years no one has gotten close?”
Gertie scrunched up her face at her granddaughter. “You know how many uppity bitches wanted to join and drink wine? Wine! And then we had the ones who didn’t even want any alcohol! No alcohol! Who does that?”
Eloise smiled at her grandmother’s mini tantrum and nodded her head. “Okay, and what about the ones who got close? You can’t tell me that in over ten years, no one’s gotten close.”
Gertie looked at me for a bit and then back to her granddaughter. She seemed to weigh the question. “There have been a few, but we didn’t think they would fit.”
Her answer, left me feeling more confused than before. “Then why me, why did you think I’d fit?”
Gertie grabbed my hand, startling me. “Because girl, you reminded us of ourselves before we started getting all these damn wrinkles and…” she seemed to choke out the rest, “we thought you’d be good for us.”
Surprised at what Gertie just said. I realized she didn’t know how much her and her friends had been good for me also.
Thirteen
Kelly
1. I’ve learned that the “Bless your Heart” attitude was worldwide, though in other places in the world it was just known as Bitch.
2. I’d decided I liked playing matchmaker, so I would be helping Eloise and Ben get together.
3. I don’t think I can cook, or at least the smoke alarm says I can’t.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
“Shut Up! You stupid stupid, thing! Nothing is on fire, you’re broken! I hate you!
With a pink towel I waved furiously over the fire alarm, trying to get the smoke from the oven that housed what was suppose to be a pot roast, to quit beeping so I could think. What had started out as a promising day, playing with Duchess and cleaning my house quickly took a turn for the worse when I misread what temp to cook the pot roast. Apparently, you were suppose to cook at two hundred and seventy five not four hundred and thirty.
Who knew?
I guess I had got the time mixed up with the temperature. Ree Drummond, I was not.
Towel now on the floor, I ran and grabbed the chair by the table, taking a broom along the way. The continued beeping of the fire alarm drew Duchess’s attention, who had now run into the kitchen barking back at the alarm in an attempt to show who was dominant.
Fun.
Once the chair was placed under the fire alarm, I grabbed the broom and stepped up on the chair.
Argh! Argh! Argh!
“Duchess! Hush, mama’s trying, just give me a second.”
Arooo!
Arm wound back in a batter’s hold, I narrowed my eyes focused on the fire alarm.
Eye on the prize, I swung…hard.
Bat coming forward, with all my might, I quickly realized how bad of an idea this was. Because as the broom went, so did I.
It seemed that my kitchen chair that I had gotten from the thrift store was not that stable.
Go figure.
As I felt my feet leave the chair, and that incessant beeping still going, I saw my life flash before my eyes. The last sounds I heard were my dog barking and the beeping of the fire alarm.
“Ugh”
I didn’t die. I was alive!
I also felt something warm and hard against me.
Was I in heaven?
I opened my eyes slowly, relishing the feeling of the warm body pressed up against me holding me close.
Dark pools of black stared back at me, with a toothy grin on his face, that I wanted to smack off.
“Kasper, what are you doing here? It’s not time for movie night yet, is it?”
“Oh, we’re all here love, and we’ve actually been here for a while. We were just watching the show.”
All?
Shoulders stiffening at what he implied, I looked over Kasper’s shoulders to fine Dean and Damon leaning up against the couch with matching grins.
How long had they been here?
Those giant bastards had probably watched the whole thing, wedgie pull and all.
And yes, I pulled out a wedgie...it happens...frequently.
Still held in Kasper’s arms, I thumped him on his hard chest as I said, “Put me down.”
Instead of letting me down like I asked, Kasper slowly slid me down his body where I felt every corded muscle in his stomach and arms.
That was not fair.
Arms across my chest I tried to ignore Kasper’s hands on my back, choosing to focus my irritation on the two in front of me. “If y’all saw the whole damn show then why did you not help?”
Damon pushed off the couch and sauntered towards me. In his trademark leather jacket, red Deadpool shirt and paint splattered jeans, he turned my brain to mush almost making me forget why I had been irritated. Kasper behind me, Damon before me, my anger fell away.
Damon placed his hands on my bare shoulders slowly rubbing up and down my arms. Shivers ran down my spine at the feel of his callused hands. Kasper with his hand holding tightly on my waist, pushed the rest of his body against me sandwiching me between the two and their hypnotic caresses. It was just seconds ago that I was cooking or trying to at least, then I fell, and suddenly now I was sandwiched between two men in my blue tank top with no bra. Damon acting oblivious to what he and Kasper did to me continued his assault on my front while Kasper reached down grazing my ass. Looking up from the two I caught Dean's eyes who was watching the show, still leaning up against the couch. He smirked when our eyes held at the moment my nipples pebbled.
Why was I mad again?
Oh yeah. I grabbed Damon’s fingers mid-stroke and moved away from Kasper’s hand. Damon, not looking one bit insulted from me stopping him, smirked. He had already guessed what his caresses were doing to me. And in typical Damon style he sent me on a rollercoaster. Not caring for my space or how my body reacted to him and Kasper, Damon leaned forward, his warm breath close to my ear.
“We knew that if we came in and tried to help, you would get all pissy.”
I pulled back glaring at him and then looked at the other two. “Is that true, you all thought I’d get... pissy?”
Kasper who had moved to stand by Damon coughed, while turning his head downward not meeting my eyes. Dean in an attempt to defuse the situation began to whistle a familiar children’s tune, while Damon continued to smirk. “I believe the conversation would’ve went something like this.”
Damon cleared his throat as he began to attempt a high pitched southern accent. “No y'all I got this, y'all just need to move your butts right here now. Now I mean it, no y'all I got this.”
Okay, so maybe he sounded funny, but he was still an ass.
And I sounded nothing like that. I hoped.
I rolled my eyes at him, as I fought the smile that threatened to take over my face which ended up backfiring because instead of smiling a snort broke from my sealed lips as the image of Damon in a monogrammed shirt, bermuda shorts and sandals became forefront in my mind. And I covered my mouth to fight back the rest of the laughter that threatened to erupt at the picture in my head. Though I would never tell him what caused the much embarrassing snort.
>
“I do not say y’all that much.”
“Yes you do,” they said at the same time.
All three were jackasses.
“Okay, well at least you agree on something.”
Dean winked at me. “We all agree on you.”
Sometimes they could say the sweetest things, and I could remember why I was slowly falling in love with them.
Love? Them?
Did I really say, love? Wasn’t it too soon? It seemed to take forever to figure it out with Trevor. A couple of months didn’t equate to love. Did it?
Granted what I felt for the guys was more than what I’d ever felt for Trevor, but love. I didn’t know about that. Attraction? There was no question, but love, well after my mess of a divorce let’s just say I was skeptical.
I shook my head, not wanting to ruin the sweet moment with that depressing train of thought that could also possibly become a full blown panic attack.
Kasper still standing beside Dean smiled. I love that smile. Not able to help myself, I walked over to him, putting my hands on his shoulders, so I could raise up on my tip toes and plant a kiss on his cheek. “Is that so, you all agree on me?”
He bent his head down getting his face closer to mine as he whispered close to my lips, “Most definitely.”
I moved in for a second more intimate kiss when the interruption came in the clearing of the throat.
“That’s great and all, but I’m still hungry and we still haven’t picked a movie for tonight.”
Moment spoiled I stepped back away from Kasper, turning to look at Damon and Dean. “Yeah, I don’t think the pot roast is gonna be any good guys, at least judging by the smoke alarm there. I guess I could order something.”
With dead silence and averted gazes I knew they had already committed a crime. Now it was just the problem of finding out the crime at hand.
“Alright, what is it now, what did you guys do? First the fire alarm, now what?”
Dean, glanced over at his brother and Kasper as if waiting for them to tell me.
When the silence was all he received back, he finally met my eyes. “Fine, I’ll tell her, you cowards.”
Road to Them: The Road Series Book Two Page 9
