by D. D. Miers
In the place where I was burning, I felt a cool hand on my shoulder. Someone standing behind me. Their voice rattled my smoking bones.
"Not yet."
And then all at once, I was back in my own skin, overflowing with so much energy that it hurt, like needles under my skin trying to force their way out. Without thinking, I slammed my hands onto Gwydion's chest and opened the floodgates. Power rushed out of me in a torrent I couldn't have stopped if I'd wanted to. It burned me as it passed, sinking into him. Gwydion's eyes flew open at once, the gash on his head knitting together with silver light and pulling closed.
But I couldn't stop the flow of power. There was just too much for me to contain, and Gwydion was an empty vessel. He stared up at me, and I saw myself reflected in his wide eyes, wreathed in fire, weeping flames. He sat up, my hands still on his chest, still pouring power into him just to stop myself from burning. He reached for me slowly and held my face in his shaking hands, his skin drinking up the fire. His hands were cool as water on a summer day, soothing the terrible heat that was trying its best to burn me alive. He leaned close, curling into my fire, and kissed my burning mouth.
He drew the power out of me like venom from a wound. It rushed out even faster than before, and I shook with pain and relief. He could have it all if he wanted. As long as the fire stopped, I didn't care.
I melted into his freezing kiss, into his arms, the burning finally beginning to recede as the power passed out of me. It was not infinite after all, and Gwydion took it all eagerly.
Too eagerly. As the power continued to flow out of me like blood from a vein, I began to return to my senses and realized we had passed the point of what I couldn't contain. My hands tightened in the fabric of Gwydion's coat, trying and failing to push him away. He might as well have been made of stone. We were rapidly approaching a point of less power than I'd had since touching the candle. I watched that point come and go and still Gwydion's kiss continued, until I realized that he was not going to stop until I was empty of all magic, or dead.
So I bit him, hard enough to draw blood, and he jerked away, the flow of power finally stopping. I pushed him away, putting space between us quickly in case he tried to continue. My heart was hammering, and I was still disoriented, struggling to hold on to the memory of what had happened when I'd tried to access the candle.
"What the fuck?" Cole was saying, and it sounded like he had been saying that for a while as Gwydion and I were too insensate to notice. Ethan caught me as I moved away from Gwydion, and I let him hold me, grateful for the feeling of safety in his arms.
"What happened?" Ethan asked me. "What did you do?"
"More like how?" Cole said, staring at me with something between awe and fear. "I've never seen that kind of power anywhere."
"I have." Gwydion spoke softly. He knelt where I'd pushed him, seeming almost as shaken as I was as he touched his bitten lip and stared wide eyed at the blood on his fingers. But there was an almost rapturous look in his eyes.
"I have not been this strong since I left Avalon," he said and looked at me like I was something holy and terrifying. "You have the power of a Queen."
He blinked and looked suddenly slightly nauseous, falling back onto his ass with a surprising lack of grace for what I'd come to expect from him.
"And I almost killed you," he said, almost to himself.
Ethan and Cole exchanged a startled look at that, then looked at me where I was still curled up in Ethan's arms.
"I'm fine," I said quickly, which was mostly true. Tired and weaker than I'd been in a while, but I wasn't bleeding or on fire, and I could lay my head on Ethan's chest and hear his heartbeat. "I'm alright. It was just a little too much power, that's all."
"A little too much power from where?" Cole asked. "Where did you get it?"
"Uh, I tried to tap into the Candle," I said. "I'm still connected to it, so I figured maybe I could access its power source."
"You tapped into the source of all necromantic energy on Earth?" Cole said, his voice breaking. "How are you not dead? How are we all not dead?"
I didn't have an answer for that. It didn't seem like Gwydion did either, but he was also not really paying attention, a hand over his mouth and his brows furrowed, stare focused on the distant shore.
"Just... don't ever do that again," Cole demanded. "Jesus Christ, no wonder you were on fire. There's a reason people work through focuses like the Candle, you idiot! Tapping into the raw source should have fried you like a bug zapper and all of us with you."
"I guess it's a good thing Gwydion could absorb it all," Ethan said as I frowned and tried to remember what had happened when I'd reached for the flame. I dimly remembered the burning. All else was lost in the fire until the moment Gwydion kissed me.
"Bullshit he did," Cole laughed. "That much power would fry him too. Either Vexa somehow managed to open herself up to, literally, all the power of Death itself and only channel a tiny piece, which is fucking absurd— like trying to jump into the ocean and expecting to only get a toe wet— or what she tapped wasn't the Candle."
I didn't like that thought.
"The fact that she'd be able to reach the candle when it's literally in a different universe is absurd enough!" Cole said, throwing his hands in the air. "This is weird bullshit, and I don't like it!"
"Regardless, it's done," Gwydion interrupted, standing up and shrugging off his wet jacket. The raft rocked, and Cole stumbled, glaring at Gwydion as he just managed to keep his balance. Gwydion ignored him, looking at me instead as he removed his tie as well, leaving only his loose white undershirt. "Pardon me for a moment."
Then he took two steps and dived off of the raft. For a second, we just stared at the ripples in his wake, too surprised to react. Finally, Ethan just shook his head and sighed.
"Why not? Not like anything else lately has made any sense," he muttered, then pulled me closer, rubbing my arms to try and warm me up. We were both still soaking wet, so it didn't do much good. "So," he said after a moment. "You kissed Gwydion."
I was confused for a moment until I realized he meant whatever had just happened. It was really difficult to hold on to those memories for some reason.
"Oh, uh, yeah," I said with a sheepish smile. "Bit more than that, actually. Right before Gil escaped."
"I thought you said you didn't think you were going to sleep with him?" Ethan asked, eyebrows raised.
"Yeah, I didn't think I would," I said, embarrassed now. "He's... surprisingly persuasive. It was just a one-time thing though. We made that clear."
"Wait, you slept with that guy?" Cole asked, wrinkling his nose.
I covered my face with my hand, trying to control the blush heating my cheeks.
"Yes, I did," I said, trying to hold on to some pride. "Not that it's any of your business."
Cole just shook his head.
"Anyone ever tell you that you have terrible taste?" he asked. "And possibly a death wish?"
"He has a point," Ethan said with a shrug.
"Considering I was flirting with you this morning, Cole," I said archly, "I wouldn't be making comments about my taste."
"Was that this morning?" Ethan said thoughtfully. "It was night at Julius's, and we slept at least a couple of hours, so..."
"Being interested in me is absolutely a sign of bad taste," Cole shot back. "Possibly a worse decision than the man-eating monster that could turn on you at any minute. Probably worse than the werewolf too."
Ethan snorted.
"You're not that bad," he said.
"I am a homeless human disaster who is just using you to get my hands on an incredibly powerful magical tool for my own selfish reasons," Cole pointed out.
"But you do have very good hair," I countered, only half sarcastically. Cole stopped short, caught off guard.
"Good sense of humor too," Ethan agreed, and I grinned as I saw Cole turning red.
"Great taste in movies," I added.
"Cute smile," Ethan pitched in.
&n
bsp; "Gorgeous eyes."
"Smart as hell."
"Fantastic ass."
"Alright, that's enough!" Cole said, beet red. "You're both clearly idiots with no sense of self preservation."
A splash interrupted us as Gwydion reappeared, chucking the staff onto the raft before climbing out of the water himself. I allowed myself a minute to admire how good he looked soaked like that.
"Did I miss something?" he asked, standing up and wringing out his shirt. Cole was still very red, and Ethan and I hadn't managed to stop grinning.
"Just us telling Cole all the things we like about him," I informed him.
"I do hope you mentioned his phenomenal ass," Gwydion said casually, picking up the staff and his jacket. Cole looked close to spontaneous combustion. "Everyone on your feet now. We need to get moving if we're going to catch up with my idiot twin."
"But we don't know where he went," I said, standing up and offering a hand to Ethan.
"I can track his teleportation spells," Gwydion said and snapped his fingers.
A rush of warm air engulfed all four of us at once. My hair flew up around my face, my clothing billowing. I fought to hold down my skirt while the water flew out of our clothes in a dazzling burst. As the wind settled down, Gwydion faced where Gilfaethwy had disappeared and ran his hand through the air as though wiping steam from a mirror. A complex crawl of magic appeared before him, which he leaned close to read. "That's why he took the staff and went to the Endless City first. It's much more difficult to track the staff, and I wouldn't have been able to tell which of the wells in the City he went through at all if I hadn't seen him. But now that he's teleporting under his own power— which he hasn't much of between our recent scuffle and our visit to the City— following him will be too easy. I may finally be able to—"
He fell silent abruptly, then dismissed the magical text, scowling.
"What's wrong?" I asked, worried.
"I figured out where he went," Gwydion answered tersely. He banged the staff on the surface of the wooden raft, and a portal opened through which I could dimly see the branches of trees. Gwydion stepped towards it, hesitated, then looked back at me.
"I should send you home," he said. "Where he's going is... inhospitable to humans. I should be able to handle him on my own."
"Like you handled him last time?" I asked. "Ethan's life is riding on what Gil knows. And without the Artificer's Glass, we can't even try to figure out more about the curse on our own. There's no way I'm not coming with you."
"Where she goes, I go," Ethan said, putting a hand on my shoulder.
We both looked at Cole, who crossed his arms, still a little pink around the ears.
"I don't really have a choice, do I?" he complained. "If you idiots go and get yourselves killed, there's no way I'm going to get the Candle."
I smiled at him, glad he was sticking with us.
"Then it's settled," I said. "We're all going."
"It is not even remotely settled," Gwydion argued. "It is the furthest thing from settled."
"Are you really going to argue with me after I just nearly died saving you?" I asked, hands on my hips.
Gwydion closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his composure.
"Fine. You're all coming. I'm sure that won't end badly at all."
He took his coat from his arm, turned it inside out, and handed it to me.
"Wear this. Stay close to me. Make no noise and use no magic unless I ask you to. If we become separated... You will probably die. Do not eat anything. Do not sing or dance. Do everything in your power not to offend anything. Do not offer help unless it's asked for, then do it and don't complain. Accept whatever they give you after, but if someone tries to give you something you haven't earned, politely refuse as long as you can and hope that I can find you in time to save you. Understood?"
Not remotely, but I nodded and put the inside-out coat on anyway.
"Then let's get this over with," Gwydion said with a sigh.
With no further ceremony, he stepped through the portal. I gave Ethan and Cole one last encouraging smile, then stepped through after him, hoping that whatever waited on the other side was no worse than what we'd already faced. But for once, I was less worried about the unknown than I was about my own power. I still wasn't sure what had happened when I'd tried to heal Gwydion, but I was certain that it would happen again. Somewhere in the back of my mind, the words 'not yet' were still echoing.
Chapter 10
From the cool, heather gray storm-shadow of Distant Shore, I stepped into a perfect summer day. It was summer back on Earth as well, but not like this. This was one of those mythical days right out of overly nostalgic idyllic childhood memories, or one of those inexplicably popular coming of age movies where something terrible happens to a kid's loyal dog. It was just cool enough in the shade to make the warmth of the sun feel soothing rather than oppressive. Huge old trees rose around us, their leaves casting green shadows on the rich, dark earth, their bows heavy with fruit. The undergrowth was a profusion of wild flowers and ripe berries. The air was thick with the sound of bird song and the musical babble of water running somewhere nearby. The light through the trees was golden, almost tangible, and I felt a rush of strange delight and excitement as soon as I breathed in the air. Everything, every fat blueberry and shining stone and red throated song bird, was positively brimming with significance. Anything my eye fell on, from a dew spangled spider web hanging silver under the shade of an oak root to the waving golden seed heads of the tall grass growing in a patch of sunlight, struck me with an intensity that made me certain that to touch any part of it would be to embark on some fantastic adventure.
Gwydion snapped his fingers in front of my face impatiently, bringing me out of my reverie.
"Focus," he insisted. "You must not let this place get its hooks into you. Its charm is a poison, do you understand? All this is just the bright hide of a poison dart frog."
"But it's so...magical," I said, surprised by how young I sounded, like a kid at Disney World.
"What is this place?" Ethan asked, sounding as awed as I was. I looked back at him as Cole stepped through the portal. Ethan's mouth was open in slack amazement, his eyes shining. He seemed younger somehow, the lines around his eyes gone, the weight off of his shoulders. The sunlight fairly dazzled on his dark brown curls and turned his eyes tawny gold. He looked just as magnificently magical and important as everything else. He caught my stare, and I heard his breath catch and saw his eyes widen.
"Vexa," he said, his hands finding my waist. "You look so... radiant. God, I've never seen anything so—"
"None of that, none of that!" Gwydion said sharply waving a hand between our faces until we stepped apart. "I knew this was a terrible idea. Focus, please! You, Cole! Stay out of there!"
Cole, seeming as dazed and amazed as the rest of us, looked up in confusion from where he'd been wandering into a blackberry patch, mystified by the perfect, jewel-like fruit and tiny white star flowers. His eyes, always lovely, were a brighter blue than I'd ever seen on Earth. The dark shade of his hair matched that of the fruit around him. The grace of his wiry limbs as Gwydion grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him back over to us was utterly sublime. Ethan and I had drifted back together as soon as Gwydion stopped physically separating us, our arms fitting around each other as though made to do so. As Gwydion pushed Cole over to us, we reached for him at the same time. I smiled as I touched his cheek, his skin soft and warm, and for once he didn't recoil from the contact. Ethan held the other side of his face, stroking the fine line of his cheekbone with his thumb. Cole closed his eyes and sank into our touch like a warm bath after a hard day.
"How could you ever think you aren't absolutely beautiful?" I asked, awed by every strand of his hair, the curve of his jaw, the color of his lips.
"You're like a work of art," Ethan agreed, turning his dazzling smile on me, the warmth so poignant I could almost cry. "You both are. I wish I knew which one to compare you to. I can
never remember the names. Vexa always can."
I smiled back at him, remembering how when we'd met I'd compared him to Bernini's David and a dozen other works of classical art. I'd been a bit disoriented at the time, but the comparison held up.
"Something pre-Raphaelite," I said. "Edward Hughes maybe."
"You're so smart," Ethan gushed.
"I'm so glad you're all having such a lovely bonding moment," Gwydion said, attempting to pry us away from each other. "But if you could attempt to regain your senses, we really do not have time for an orgy right now."
"This is... magic intoxication," Cole said, rubbing his eyes. I loved the delicate artistry of his fingers and the ruddy tone the rubbing put into his cheeks.
"Indeed!" Gwydion said, dripping sarcasm. "Glad you're catching up! It should fade soon, but we can't afford to wait for it, nor do I have the patience to watch the three of you moon over each other until it does."
I wondered why he was in such a bad mood when it was such a perfect day. But I couldn't be upset with him for it. He was just too beautiful to be angry at. The sunlight didn't seem to touch him, but when he stood in the shade, he looked carved from cold marble, chilly and flawless and sparkling like ice. It almost hurt to look at him, like the light reflecting on snow till it was blinding. And sometimes, when I saw him from the corner of my eye, he was more even than that. Larger than I could imagine, and when he moved, there was a rustle of fur and a shadow of horns.
"He's right," Cole said, shaking his head as he was briefly distracted by a passing butterfly with wings like living stained glass. "We need to... To keep moving. We're in danger. Try to remember the fear."
I didn't want to be afraid, not when it was so beautiful here. But I did my best as Cole took my hand and pulled me after Gwydion. I grabbed Ethan with my free hand and tugged him along. A daisy chain, like when we were kids. The thought made me giggle, which got him started.
