by Ella Brooke
"That...hadn't occurred to me," she admitted. "I'll be honest, I've been so wrapped up with things that it never occurred to me how Jodie might look at it, just how it might dishonor Sandra's memory."
Jinan shrugged. "You have had a great deal on your mind. There is nothing wrong with wanting to honor your sister and your brother-in-law, but I do not believe that it should come at the price of Jodie's peace of mind."
"God, you're right. I'm glad you brought that up." Benny shook her head. "Man, I would have liked to think that I would have figured that out before she got old enough to figure things out, but I am glad you mentioned that."
"I do occasionally have my uses," he said, so grandly that if he hadn't been holding a baby she was sure he would have swept low in a deep bow. "But I think you might be avoiding the issue. I was rather curious about whether Jodie was going to get a sibling at some point, or whether she was going to stay an only child?"
"I want her to have siblings," Benny said after a long moment. "I...I don't necessarily know if it is possible, but I think that children do best if they have...support and a group of people who are always on their sides. They get experience being social and sharing and learning how they are stronger together rather than apart, and I do not want my niece to miss out on it. I know Sandra was planning on having at least one more, and that was something we always agreed upon."
Jinan tilted his head at her, and she knew he had seen more than she necessarily intended. She covered it up with a soft cough.
“And I mean...there's this cabin up north, close to Lake Waukana. It's this...it's this tiny little place, runs off an old generator, and there's running water and a bathroom, but not all that much in the way of amenities. However, it's a sort of family tradition. When Sandra and I were kids, when things were still sort of okay, we used to go up there, us and our cousins. Our parents would cook out, and the kids, we thought it was amazing. We ran around from sunup to sundown, we jumped in the lake, explored the woods... It was the happiest I remember being throughout my childhood, and I would love it if Jodie and my other kids got to experience that as well.”
She realized she was rambling, but when she glanced at Jinan, she saw a surprisingly soft and wistful look on his face. She wondered if he’d had any similar retreat before with his own family. Surely with a family as well off as his was there would be no end to the fun they could have, but perhaps not. Before she could ask him, however, he asked her another question.
"And once we set aside Jodie's welfare, which I understand is not an easy thing for you to do at all...what do you want?"
For a moment, she felt a flash of temper. What right did he have to ask her these things? It wasn't like he was going to be having those children with her. It wasn't as if he would be anywhere around when it finally happened and she was able to have the family that she always wanted.
However, something, perhaps an imp of the perverse, perhaps a touch of the devil, made her tell him the truth.
"I want to have children," she said, "and if possible, I would love to have two or three or even more."
He raised his eyebrows at her, but when he spoke, she wondered if perhaps there was a bit more warmth there than before.
"That is a bit of a surprise," he observed. "Not that I think you will be bad at it, by any stretch of the imagination, but it was never something we had talked about."
"That isn't really something that you say to your boss," she pointed out. "I mean, coming in to work and saying something like, 'hey, how was your weekend, I would really love it if I met someone who was okay having an entire passel of kids soon,’ sounds like the kind of thing that gets you very politely fired."
He laughed at that, nodding with a small amount of chagrin. "All right, I see your point..."
His laughter made Jodie stir fitfully, and when she sent up a high whine, Benny walked over to take the infant in her arms. She noticed all over again that Jodie had grown a little even since she had come to stay with Benny and Jinan, and the passage of time struck her as extraordinarily bittersweet.
"You're very good at that," he said quietly, echoing her words from before, and she grinned at him.
"It's more that I had babysitting jobs by the time I was ten rather than anything as noble as your mother's aims, but I do get by. The trick is to keep her still without getting too nervous and letting her sense it..."
"No, it's not just that. It's the love. You have a true talent for love."
There was something so intense and solemn in his face as he looked at her that she had to look away. There was something between them, and she didn't understand what it was.
Or rather, her heart knew what was happening, but her brain, knowing that only hurt lay in that direction, pulled back.
Chapter Ten
There was something hilarious, Benny thought, about the fact that her own sexual awakening came about at the same time as Jodie's arrival. She loved her niece with every bit of her heart, but once in a while, when that piercing cry cut through the air, she envied girls who had their first lovers in college, where the days seemed endless and there was plenty of time to learn and explore.
Of course, I was working full time when I was in college, so maybe that wouldn't have helped at all.
The thought wasn't comforting, however, when Jinan was looking down at her with perfect lust in his eyes, and then Jodie needed to be fed, or changed, or played with.
"I'm telling you, if not a nanny then a babysitter," he urged. "It would give you a night off. We could go out. We could see a little more of Chicago, and perhaps you could come with me on some of these shorter trips."
Benny still wasn't sure that she liked the idea. Some of it was that she was so in love with her little niece that she never wanted to be apart from her, but another part of it was because it felt like something couples did. It felt as if getting a babysitter versus a nanny versus simply staying in was a discussion that married and committed couples had. They might have lived in the same townhouse together, she might have never spent a single night in her bed since the first time they had lain together, they might take nearly all of their meals in the house together, but she still wasn't ready to take another step.
She was painfully aware that this marriage was not real. It was a sham designed to keep the Winthrops at bay, and she imagined that at some time in the future, when the Winthrops were out of the picture, she and Jinan would simply get a divorce. Heck, if she was terribly unlucky, he might end up divorcing her before they were kept away.
Benny didn't think that Jinan would abandon them on purpose, but the world was a very strange place, and he was the ruler of a country. She couldn't imagine his subjects would be all right with him marrying a little nobody from the Midwest.
No matter how much Benny's mind troubled her, her heart had no problems with what was going on, and her body had fewer problems than that.
There was something splendid and fierce about Jinan when he came to bed with her. Everything else in the world could melt away, and none of it mattered. True to his word, after a few weeks of exploring each other's bodies and sweet kisses and gentle caresses, he had introduced her to some rougher play, showing her how much pleasure a truly kind partner could give her when she was startled, gasping and slightly stung with pain.
Benny had never understood before how good it might feel to get slammed against a wall, pushed up against it and entered in one sure stroke as her panties were crumpled down around her ankles. She never thought that she would have to muffle her cries with her hand when her lover mercilessly gave her one orgasm after another after another.
On one memorable day, after Jodie had refused all her naps, thrown an entire bowl of Cheerios into the thick carpet, and managed to spill her juice all over a pile of freshly completed paperwork, Benny had learned a very important lesson indeed.
Jinan had come in just as she was done putting Jodie to bed, and she had taken one look at his face and felt tears prickling in her eyes.
"What's this?" he asked, hastily setting down his work and crossing over to her. He wrapped his arms around her, and for a moment, she melted into him.
God, he smells so good, she thought, and that only reminded her that she hadn't even showered yet today and she was wearing yoga pants and an enormous T-shirt that likely had dozens of stains on it.
Stifling a sob, she pushed away, leaving Jinan confused and worried behind her.
"I am so sorry," Benny whimpered. "I can't do anything right today! I'm...I'm going to make a mess of your suit, some paperwork got ruined, I nearly yelled at Jodie today, and I don't think that I've gotten half of my to-do list done...and...and..."
She shook her head.
"I'm sorry I'm so bad at this," Benny sniffled. "I'm sorry I'm so damn dumb."
There was a part of her that expected him to agree, to tell her to get herself together, but instead, he walked over to her and placed a firm finger under her chin, lifting it so that she was looking directly into his dark eyes.
"Those are not words I want you to ever say again," he said sternly.
“What are you talking about?” she asked, momentarily so shocked by his sternness that she couldn't understand what was going on. “What words are you talking about?”
“I never, ever want to hear you say that you are bad at your job or taking care of Jodie again. I never want to hear you say that you are dumb or anything like that again.”
Benny didn't know what was going on, and she laughed a little nervously. “Come on, Jinan, this isn't anything important! Stop being so serious, I was just saying...”
His eyes narrowed dangerously.
“I might suggest that you do not say what it is you are going to say,” he said, a warning tone in his voice.
“I was just saying that I was making a ton of mistakes today,” Benny rushed on. “I don't like it, and I am going to do better, but I certainly was being dumb and kind of incompetent before...”
“Well, now you've done it,” he said, and he closed his hand around her wrist.
From someone else, she would have thought it was a threatening gesture, perhaps even a violent one, but this was Jinan, and she knew him. She knew he wouldn't hurt her, no matter what, and her heart started to beat a rapid tattoo.
“Jinan...”
“You have brought this on yourself,” he said, pulling her into the bedroom. “You disobeyed me, and now you are going to suffer the consequences.”
Despite the dire words, there was a smokiness to his tone that made her all but lick her lips. She didn't quite know what his game was, but at least it was taking her mind off of the awful day she’d just had.
“Will I?”
“Yes. Now I want you to listen very carefully, Benny. You are going to take off your clothes, throw them in the hamper, and go take a long, hot shower. Get good and clean, relax while you are in there, and try to get centered. When you come out, dry yourself thoroughly and come rest on the bed. I want your face towards the headboard, and I want you on your elbows and knees.”
He paused.
“Repeat what I just said.”
For a moment, she couldn't think of his words for the life of her, but then she found them.
“Take off my clothes. Throw them in the hamper, get in the shower and get clean, and then dry myself. After that...I...I need to get on the bed, facing the headboard, on my elbows and knees.”
She gulped a little. “But, Jinan, I'll look like...”
“Yes, I know exactly what you'll look like. Well? Get going.”
She didn't know what it was, whether it was his assertive tone of voice, or the long day she’d had, but she wanted to do exactly what he said. She stripped off her clothes as he watched her sternly, throwing them in the hamper and then going into the bathroom. If Benny had thought it would be a little easier to think away from him, being in the shower proved her wrong. All she could think about was where he was, what he was doing, and what he might be planning.
It was easier to follow his instructions than it was to do much thinking. She cleaned herself, and to her surprise, she found herself feeling better. The hot water was a blessing, and as she scrubbed herself, she took long breaths to keep herself calm. It felt good to simply rest like this, but from the way he was talking, she thought that she might not get a great deal of rest that evening.
When she dried herself and ventured out, Benny found the bedroom quite empty. For a moment, she wondered if she should go looking for him, but she shivered at what he might say if he caught her disobeying. Instead, she hurried to the bed, positioning herself just as he’d said. There was something ridiculously vulnerable about the position, something terribly open and needy. There was also something intensely arousing about it as well, she discovered to her surprise. She was alone, she was naked, and she was so very open to everything.
Benny heard the door creak open behind her and then close again. She could hear his soft tread, but when she started to raise up to look at him, he said her name sharply.
“Keep your position,” he said, and she hastily went back to the way she was.
As he walked around the bed, looking her over, she could feel a pulse of heat between her legs. She felt as if something inside her was purring, stirring as he watched her, something only he could bring out fully.
“You are such a beautiful woman,” he said softly.
She gasped a little. Whatever Benny had been expecting, it was certainly not this.
“You don't think you are, and that is a shame, because the beauty of the kind that you have, one that goes deep into the skin and beyond to the heart and soul underneath, it is something that should be held with pride and high esteem.”
Benny whimpered a little as he ran a gentle hand from the base of her neck up to the curve of her rear. In this position, her head was lower than her hindquarters, and she knew he could see every twitch and groan.
“You are brilliant. There are people twice your age with three times your experience who cannot handle my affairs as easily as you have done in the last few months. There are people who think that I am a tyrant, but you meet all my demands with a smile and a miracle. Yet you do not see it.”
“Your eyes brim with beauty, and your heart brims with love, and perhaps after this, you will see it.”
She wanted to know what he meant, but then his hands were between her legs, pulling them apart a little. He was gentle, but there was a strength there that would not be denied. He spread her open, and then one hand came up to palm her mons, cupping her before rubbing with an insistence that made her groan.
“Oh, oh Jinan!”
She could feel herself dampening his hand, she could feel how slick she was getting, and just when she could feel her body start to shake, he drew his hand away and in the same instant, landed a sharp spank to her rear. There was a bright impression of stinging, barely enough time for her to yelp in surprise, and then it was gone, leaving a warmth behind it.
“I think you need to have your qualities impressed upon you,” he said sternly. “You are going to suffer for saying those things about yourself, especially after I told you not to say them. You are going to cry out, and you are going to climax, and perhaps sometime after that, you will discover that you cannot say such things about someone so important.”
Important? Benny had time to think. He thinks I am important?
She didn't have enough time to think about it. Instead, his hand went between her legs again, this time finding the secret nubbin between her folds and working it with a nearly brutal efficiency. Again, just when she was on the verge of a trembling release, he pulled back and landed a few more smacks to her rear. They weren't hard, not really, but they stung and made her wiggle and yelp and somehow even more aroused than she was before.
He repeated the process again, but this time, it took even less time before she was shaking and shivering, and there were even more blows to her rear. She was lost in a haze of pleasure and something she was not sure she could even call p
ain. Benny felt as if she was being turned upside down and inside out, tumbled around until what was left was exhausted and pure and completely free of any thought except for how much she needed this man.
He paused, and she wasn't sure how much time had passed at all. When he spoke, there was a hoarseness to his voice.
“You are so pale normally, and now your gorgeous rear is so wonderfully red. Perhaps some other time, I will take a picture and make you look at it, make you admit how beautiful you are...”
The humiliation of the scenario made her groan, but it made her whimper with heat as well, and she was saying yes, murmuring it over and over again, agreeing to anything as long as it would get her what she wanted, what she needed.
When he paused, resting his hand against her rear, she jumped a little at how cold his hand was. Then she realized that it only felt cool because her skin was so hot, and she groaned again.
“What a perfect darling,” he purred, coming to kneel behind her. She was subtly shocked to realize that he was naked, his skin warm against hers. He had been naked the entire time he had been spanking her, and it only made her hotter for him.
“I think you have learned your lesson,” he murmured. “I think it is time for your reward...”
There was no pause at all before he took her by the hips and entered her with a single powerful thrust. She cried out at the sensation of his hips making contact with her hot rear, but there was no pain in it this time, only a bone-deep pleasure that made her whimper. The pace that he set was nearly punishing, thrusting deep into her over and over again, and there was nothing she could do to prevent herself from writhing in pleasure and need.
“Oh, oh, Jinan, please!”
In response to her cries, he slowed slightly, but that only meant that he entered her with more intensity, making her groan every time he was fully embedded inside her. She felt as if she was being held back from something that was almost, just barely within her reach, as if he was dangling her climax just out of her reach.
Then, between one breath and the next, she cried out, because her body seemed to explode. The trembling started low inside her core, spreading out with a vicious quickness that seemed eager to consume all of her. There was no stopping it, and she started to shake and cry out, digging her nails into the sheets below her. There was no way to stop the pleasure from coursing through her, none at all, and she called out his name over and over again.
