When Michael finishes, Evelyn speaks hoarsely, “Jack, you're the most caring son anyone can ask for. You're an even greater warrior. I have faith you will return to us someday. It's all any of us can pray for.” She chokes on her words, “I’m sorry.” She sniffles. “I love you, Jack. May you forever live in peace if you are not able to return to us.”
Michael addresses me after a moment. “Ivy? Would you like to send a message to Jack?”
“What do you mean?”
“That is why I am here. To take your messages to Paradise and share them with Jack.”
I hesitate, remembering him racing, smiling, laying on my bed to listen to me play guitar, the feel of his lips and embrace, carrying me on his back and running up that dreadful hill to my Music History class, and confessing his feelings for me in the field after horseback riding.
I wipe my face again and muster up the courage to speak. “I’m so sorry, Jack. When you left us, it created a deep wound that will continue to bleed.” Solas holds me against him tighter. “You can never be replaced, Jack. There's no one else like you. You're special to each of us, and I pray this isn't the end for you. I love you with my entire being. You are mine, and I am yours,” my words turn to whispers with my last statement. I take a shuddering breath and continue, “I can't tell you how my captivity has changed my perspective on who I’ve become, who I am, and what I know I have to do now. I was forced to watch you die, and for that I want justice. I want revenge, and I'll have it. So will you. I'll make them suffer for taking you away from us. I swear to you, Jack. We'll have vengeance.” I know this isn't what they want to hear, but I need those words to be my last to Jack. Evelyn’s eyes are wide with concern, and Michael clears his throat. I straighten my spine, not regretting a word. “Excuse me,” I say inscrutably before leaving the house to walk the lush gardens.
Andromeda, ever so stoic, marches to my side from the barn. I search her eyes for a reason she would do something so human—stand beside me for support. Maximus joins us and nudges my shoulder with his snout from my other side. I turn and rub his nose, “Hey, Max.” I sigh. “I missed you too.” He neighs and paws the ground beneath him. It instigates Andromeda, and she begins to do the same. I’m in between them as they stomp the ground. “What are you doing?” As if in answer, both rear up and kick the air. “Easy. Easy,” I try to sooth them. They come down, and Andromeda stomps her hooves again. Maximus turns in a tight circle and pushes me with his nose again. Understanding dawns on me, “Where do you want to take me?”
Maximus takes off running with Andromeda fast on his heels. The corner of my mouth turns up. My wings shoot out of my back as I run with angelic speed. I flap my wings and soar low, flying figure eights around them. Andromeda whinnies and sprints faster. I push my wings harder, and Maximus charges beneath me. I tuck my wings in and land on his bare back.
He runs full speed through the fields. As I see the edge of the property approach, I clutch the hair at the base of his mane and lean forward, sweeping my legs onto his back and laying on my stomach. I push up to my knees and gradually rise to stand. My knees bend with the beat of his cantor, and I release his mane. Keeping my balance, I squat low and leap into the air like a bullet. Reaching the apex of my jump, I release my wings wide and pulse them to fly over the forest surrounding the property.
I know it's mid-day and I shouldn’t be seen by humans. There would be YouTube videos going viral within minutes. Without thinking about my destination, I end up on the cliff where Jack and I had our first big argument. I land on the edge, sit with my legs dangling over the precipice, and retract my wings. I take a deep breath of the crisp air around me. The wind on my face at this height is chilly and soothes the heat of my skin. Looking over the horizon of the small town, I try to think of what the future will hold for me. I just want to feel normal again. I want to stay here and finish school, but how do I do that and avenge Jack at the same time? I know the truth. I can’t. I have to choose, and I've already made my choice. I'll make the entire underworld suffer.
I fish my pack of cigarettes from my back pocket and place one between my lips. Digging out my lighter from my front pocket and bringing it to the tip of my cigarette, I pause as I hear a smooth, deep voice behind me.
“You know, smoking is truly pointless for a being such as yourself,” Azrael says.
“Yeah? I really don’t give a shit,” I say nonchalantly as I light my cigarette and stuff my lighter back into my pocket.
Azrael comes to stand next to me and takes in the view, “I should have come to you sooner. I regret not being there for you to explain who you are and what it means for you.”
“What? Now, you want to come into my life? And, what? Be my father?” I ask incredulously, peering up at him.
“I would like to guide you with your mission.”
“No.”
“I understand your anger with me. You must realize I did not have a choice in leaving you as an orphan. Your mother would not have been able to protect you from Lucifer, and raising a child alongside death was not appropriate for the warrior you needed to become.”
“I don’t need your excuses.”
Azrael turns to me, “What is it that you think you do need, daughter?”
I spring to my feet and glare at him, “What I need, you can’t give me. What I want is revenge. And what I don’t need or want is your help.” My hands ball into fists at my sides. Azrael stands resolute as he takes in my words. “You knew what was going to happen to Jack! Why else would you have been there? You could have saved him! I watched you heal Eric! You should have been there to save Jack as well!”
“You misunderstand. I was pulled into that dungeon when I sensed my Guides needed help. I had not known the situation. Despite what you may think, I am not omnipotent.”
His words make sense, and it infuriates me that I'm wrong for accusing him. The tension in my body relaxes as my shoulders slump, and I rub my face, “I’m sorry.”
Awkward silence stirs between us. “If you are serious about your pledge to Jack, will you accept my assistance?”
“I never break a promise. Why do you want to help me anyways? Aren’t you supposed to be neutral?”
“I am neutral. The balance between good and evil has been unbalanced for a long time now. I am allowed to help keep that balance, and I am offering my help to you because you are my daughter. I would like to make up for my betrayal in leaving you. Think of it as a belated birthday gift,” he says as the corners of his mouth turn up.
“Wow,” I breathe. “You don’t even know that my birthday isn’t until next Saturday.” I cross my arms and cock my hip out.
“Actually, I thought it best to hide your true identity so you would be safe from powers that wanted to destroy you.” I quirk an eyebrow. “Your birthday was three days ago.”
“That explains why everyone thought that my transformation was happening faster than normal.”
“Yes.”
Absolutely everything about myself I thought I knew, was a lie. And, if he’s going to help me, he'll have to stay away from Solas.
“I have one request if you want to help me.”
“What is your request?”
“I want you to stay away from Solas.”
“I can do that. I imagine he will forever carry a hatred for me. He is not the best of companions for you to keep so closely.”
“Look, I don’t know why he hates you, but as far as who I choose to keep as my friends isn't up to you. Despite what you may think of him, I know his heart. He may have done things in the past, but he's changed. I can see it in him. I care a lot about him. He stays.”
“Ok, daughter.”
I roll my eyes. Even though it makes my heart warm when he calls me his daughter, I'm still sore about being abandoned. “How do you plan on helping?”
A full smile graces his face for the first time, and I see our resemblance, “I have my ways.” He pauses. “When I have information, you will feel a burn in your marking.
That is how I can call to you. I will wait for you inside the Veil.” I nod my head. “I will leave you to your companions. I imagine you do not need an escort?”
“I’ll be alright.”
“Until we meet again, daughter. Safe travels.” An emptiness falls over my heart as I watch him fly off into the fading sunlight. The loneliness I feel with him leaving me again is familiar and confusing. I'm old enough not to need my father by my side, yet I can’t help the sorrow at his distance.
I snag another cigarette and sit back down on the edge of the cliff in silence as I watch the sun set over Red Meadow. The chill in the air gets colder after the sun disappears. Lights across the town come to life like fireflies in the dark, and for the first time in what feels like months, I sing out into the starry night sky.
Chapter 21
“You have a beautiful voice,” Solas says from behind me.
“Holy shit!” My wings shoot out of my back in surprise as I jump to my feet and find him smiling. His hair's cut short, covered in a gray knit cap, and he's shaved his goatee, making him appear younger and even more attractive. The illumination of the moon makes his ethereal blue eyes shine like diamonds. “You’ve really got a knack for sneaking up on me. You’ve got to quit that,” I laugh as I scold him.
He chuckles under his breath, “I guess I do.”
“Sorry for running out on everybody like that. I just needed to think.”
Solas saunters towards me, his movements relaxed and calculating. “Yeah. We thought so. I started to worry after a few hours. Alice told me where I could find you after she forced me to change my appearance. She didn’t think I would fit in very well at your college,” he rolls his eyes.
“She can be a little demanding when it comes to appearances. I like it. It suits you. It’ll help you blend in on campus,” I tell him with a grin as I blush. I’m grateful for the darkness hiding my embarrassment of complementing him. He joins my side, and we face the majestic view. “Jack and I use to come here,” I add. “I just… I had to get out of there. I guess I just wanted to say goodbye in my own way.”
“You definitely have a way of saying goodbye,” he says referring to my message to Jack.
“I meant it, you know?” I declare as I face him.
“I do.” Solas observes me, “But what you promised… Well…”
“Surprised everyone?”
“Well, yes. No one saw your anger coming. It was highly unexpected, but it's an impossible feat.”
“I don’t accept that.”
I'll make them all pay.
“I knew you wouldn’t,” he grins. “Do you have a plan?”
“Not really,” I shrug, dejected.
“What about your vision?”
“The one of Lucian?”
“Yes. If you can discern where you are, what you're wearing, or any thoughts, we may be able to take the upper hand. Take first blood instead of waiting for him to strike out.”
“That sounds a lot better than what I had in mind.”
“And what did you have in mind?”
I shrug again, embarrassed to admit the absurdity of my strategy. “Find a way into Sheol. Go in with guns blazin’,” I mumble.
Worry creases his brow, “I know that sounds like a great idea when rage burns fresh inside you, but I know from experience how reckless that plan is.”
“What do you mean?” Solas sighs heavily towards the horizon, folds his large arms over his massive chest, and loses himself in thought. “Solas?”
“Despite what you may assume about me, I have not always been a being of Darkness. There was a time when I was a Warrior of Light, a Cherubim who fought for His glory. I was sent from Paradise to guard over a special person—a young girl. I was never to reveal myself to her as an angel. As you know, I have the ability to shapeshift as well as telepathy. Some angels are blessed with only one ability, some with more, and some without any. I used it to conceal who I really was so I could stay close to her. I couldn’t approach her as you see me now or I would have scared her away,” Solas says with a smile before continuing his story.
“I even changed my name. I befriended her and protected her for years, whether she knew she was in danger or not. I fell in love with her… and she fell in love with me. But it was considered sacrilege, and I was ordered to cease all romantic ties. I broke her heart, but we remained friends.
“Years later, there was an attack, and I was outnumbered by Fallen. I wasn’t fast enough, and they tried to kill her. When I tried to reach her, the enemy transported me to a desert. I fought to get back, but he pulled me into the Veil. She almost died, but she was strong and unrelenting. She survived. I was full of rage for the beasts that tried to kill the only person I had ever loved. I took out the Fallen who pulled me into the Veil and used him to breach Sheol. I was going to hunt down every last one of them.” Solas shakes his head with disappointment.
“What happened?”
“I came across the Prince and attacked him. Then, I was captured and tortured.”
“You’re here now,” I say more in question than a fact.
“Azrael came to me. He said I had defied angelic law by crossing over into Sheol. So, my essence fell. My golden wings turned dark with shame, and I was placed into Beleth’s legion to serve. I was brought back to the surface when he took over the mission to capture you.” He gazes at me sadly.
“What happened to the girl?” I prod and immediately regret it as sorrow enters his eyes.
He fakes a smile as he says, “That's a story for another time.”
“So, your ability to shapeshift… Is this what you really look like? What I see?” I wonder.
“Yes. This is my original form.”
“Can you shapeshift into anything?”
“Anything animate.”
I remember seeing him as the raven he materialized from when I first laid eyes on him and how much he resembled the raven that followed Trey and me as we hiked up the mountain trails before Beleth abducted me the first time. “Were you with Beleth when he tried to capture me on the mountain?”
Solas hangs his head, “Yes.”
“I noticed you following us. I didn’t know it was you at the time.”
Regret passes over his expression. “Yes. I was commanded to scout the area and make sure he could get to you without problems.”
“I know you didn’t have a choice, Solas.” He nods his head in agreement. I'm not ready to go back to Evelyn’s just yet. I want to figure out what I need to do now. “So, what do we do now?”
Solas holds the sides of my arms, “We stay in Red Meadow. You finish out your semester while you work on controlling your visions. When we know we can have the upper hand, we'll plan an attack without having to cross over into Sheol.” Regret, longing, appreciation, love.
“That's a much better plan,” I agree with a twitch of a smile.
Solas embraces me and kisses the top of my head. “We should return and make arrangements for our stay.”
“Yeah,” I sigh. I dread the pity that will come from everyone when we return.
“Together?” Solas reassures me.
“Together.”
When we advance on the property from the dark sky, I discover Alice, Eric, and Evelyn on my balcony. The soft glow of spotlights around the manor illuminate its edifice. We land on the stone terrace between the wall and the table they're sitting at. Retracting our wings, Evelyn rises to approach us. She moves with the grace and elegance of royalty and gleams with radiance as she speaks, “I've spoken to Alice and Eric and invited them to stay at the manor. It's the safest place for you to be now, and they only agree to stay if you will as well. Will you stay at the manor and let us continue to protect you?”
I search the faces of my friends. They're more than that to me now. We've been through a lot together and have supported one another wholly along the way. They're no longer just my friends. They're my family—Alice, Eric, Evelyn, Solas, Cassius, and Beckett. At this moment, I come to t
he realization that I would do anything to protect each of them myself. “I thought your mission to protect me was over when I fully evolved?”
Eric’s eyes meet mine, and I notice he's no longer wearing the contacts that concealed their color. They're violet. Just as vibrant as Alice’s that reflect in the moonlight over the balcony. Eric sternly informs me, “Your father's requested we remain to assist you on your mission. You're still very new to this world and have a lot to learn. We'll stay with you to guide you on your journey and protect you along the way.”
“As will I,” Evelyn adds.
“What about Solas and the Griffins?” I propose.
Evelyn rubs her forehead as she grumbles, “If they stay, I'll have to keep up with their appetites. They're currently devouring the remaining fare of the kitchen.” She grins at me playfully. “But they may reside here. There's plenty of room, and the more protection you have, the better I'll feel.”
I embrace her with my angelic speed, “Thank you.” My empathic abilities pick up her worry and love for me.
“I'll notify the Griffins of the new arrangements,” Solas addresses as he squeezes my shoulder and leaves through my room. Evelyn releases me and follows Solas downstairs to show them their new accommodations.
“There's one thing that I don’t understand,” I begin as I lean back against the frame of the French doors.
“What’s that?” Alice coaxes, joining me in the doorway.
I continue, “I searched Beleth’s dungeons after the battle broke out. The missing angel wasn’t there. I don’t think Beleth ever had him."
The Helio Trilogy: Volumes 1-3 Page 27
