by Liwen Y. Ho
“That was kind of the point. I remember you suggested getting them on our wrists, but I was sure my whole family would’ve freaked out if they knew I’d gotten a tattoo. It’s a bit out of character for me, as you probably know,” he added with a grin.
“You’re lucky I didn’t convince you to get a piercing, too. Those are much harder to hide.”
“Yeah, well, I had to draw the line somewhere. I could only endure so much pain.” And his ego could only take so much beating. It’d been embarrassing enough being the only one close to tears in the tattoo parlor.
Bria winced. “I’m sorry about that part. But hey, wasn’t it worth it?”
“Uh, yes?” he answered in a not-so-convincing tone. “If I ever come up with a story where a character gets a tattoo, it’ll be the easiest scene for me to write.”
“You can thank me then.”
“Maybe one day.” He took a deep breath before asking, “Why don’t you wear the ring? That way you can see the tattoo whenever you want to.”
She nodded in Seth’s direction. “This one’s really observant. I’m sure he’d notice the matching rings and start asking questions. Anyhow, I was planning on giving it back to you—” she paused “—after this gig is up.”
“You don’t have to. I got it for you. It’s yours to keep.”
“That’s sweet of you, Brandon, but it wouldn’t be right. You should keep it, save it for the woman who’ll be lucky enough to really marry you one day.”
He shook his head. “I’m not getting married.”
“What? Why not?”
“It’s not in the cards for me. I’m okay with it though,” he added quickly. “I’ve got my family, my parents and brothers. I have the Lord. I’m good.” He frowned, feeling like he had truly sealed his fate by saying the words out loud. Well, so be it. If he couldn’t have Bria, he didn’t want anyone else.
“But you’d make a wonderful father. You’re so good with Seth. He’s been so happy since you started spending time with him. You’d make a great husband, too. I should know.” She punctuated her statement with an affectionate smile.
He swallowed hard. If only she realized the impact of her words. Did she really mean what she said? There was an unfamiliar tenderness in her eyes. Before he could reply, however, she was on her feet.
“I’m beat.” She yawned. “I better get Seth to bed and turn in, too. We have church tomorrow.”
He rose as well. “Do you want me to carry him?”
“Sure, if you don’t mind. I can barely lift him when he’s sleeping.”
Brandon nodded. “The ice-cream I’ve been feeding him probably doesn’t help.” He slipped one arm under Seth’s head and the other under his knees and picked him up. “Oh, I can definitely feel the ice-cream,” he joked as he carried the boy down the hall with Bria behind him.
With a gentle touch, he set Seth down on the futon in the study. Brandon adjusted the blanket and pulled it up to the sleeping boy’s chin. He whispered, “Good night,” before turning to leave.
Unbeknownst to Brandon, Bria was standing right behind him. When he spun around, he bumped into her shoulder, knocking her off balance. She fell backward until he caught her around the waist and pulled her close.
Their gazes connected, and it was almost like a scene from a movie. Brandon could feel her heart beating, or maybe it was his own; he couldn’t tell anymore. All he knew was that Bria was in his arms. She was so close he could see flecks of gold in her amber eyes. She was soft and warm against him, the small curves of her body melding effortlessly into his. He wondered how it would feel to hold her all night like this. How it would feel to kiss her again.
He didn’t need to wonder much longer. The next thing he knew, her mouth was on his.
Chapter Twenty
Bria
Bria cupped Brandon’s face with her hands and drew him close. As soon as her lips touched his, Brandon responded. He claimed her mouth, tentatively at first, then with a gentle pressure as he deepened the kiss. Electricity zipped through her body, warming her straight to the core. She lost herself in their closeness, completely caught up in the moment. Too caught up to think about the consequences or even to breathe. All the longing stored up in her heart overflowed, pushing her to take a chance. To act on impulse, or maybe it was intuition. Brandon was so familiar and trustworthy, it was like her heart recognized their potential together before her mind did. And maybe she was a decade too late, but she didn’t care. He was here, she was here, and the moment was perfect.
Or it was until Brandon pulled away.
“Bria—” his voice faltered “—we shouldn’t be doing this.”
She was mortified. How could she have read the situation so wrong? Here she was throwing herself at Brandon, only for him to reject her. Bitterness replaced the sweetness their kiss had left in her mouth. Funny how the tables had turned. She deserved it though. Brandon had every right to reject her after she’d rejected him. But having him dismiss her like this hurt even more than she imagined.
A soft voice piped up, adding to her mortification. “Mom?”
She turned to find Seth sitting up in bed. How much had he seen? “Hey, buddy, what are you doing up? You should be sleeping.”
“I want some water. Can you get me some?”
“Sure. I’ll be right back.”
Brandon placed a hand on her arm. “Here, let me.”
“No, I’ve got this,” she insisted as she passed him on her way to the hall. The sadness in his eyes made her hesitate, but she didn’t stop. She couldn’t. Her body had gone into defensive mode. Anger and hurt swirled inside her, making her face flush.
Alone in the kitchen, Bria grabbed a mug from one of the cabinets and filled it at the water dispenser on the refrigerator door. She took a long gulp, letting the cold liquid do its magic. Her body quickly cooled down. She refilled the mug then leaned against the counter as the adrenaline faded from her body.
Without Brandon’s blue eyes looking into her soul, she could finally think straight. What had she done? What in the world had compelled her to kiss him? They’d just reestablished their friendship, and now she’d gone and messed it up. Her throat constricted. That was one thing she was good at—making messes. But cleaning them up was a whole other matter.
She heard footsteps and saw Brandon approach, his pace slow and unsure. Caution showed on his face, creating a crease between his brows.
“I don’t think you need to bring the water anymore,” he began. “Seth fell back to sleep.”
“Oh, okay, thanks for letting me know,” she forced herself to answer calmly. She cradled the mug to her chest with both hands, as if holding it there would protect her heart.
Brandon opened and closed his mouth a few times before asking, “Do you want to talk?”
“Huh?” How long could she play dumb? “About what?”
“You know, about what just happened with you and me.”
She laughed bitterly, knowing she couldn’t avoid the issue much longer. “There’s really not much to talk about. I kissed you, you rejected me—it’s pretty clear what went on.”
“I-I didn’t reject you, Bria.”
“You told me to stop. If that’s not rejection, I don’t know what is.”
“I just didn’t think it was a good idea.” He frowned as he struggled to get his words out. “Our situation—it’s complicated. I didn’t want to make it even more—”
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” she cut in. Nothing he said would nullify the fact that he’d hurt her. So, she would pretend she didn’t care. “The kiss didn’t mean anything.”
“It didn’t?”
“I got caught up in our role-playing,” Bria touted, trying to sound nonchalant. “You know, the whole being married thing. We’ve been around each other so much, I started thinking this—us—was real. It’s just pretend though, like that kiss was.”
He took a tentative step forward. “Bria, I know I don’t have much experience with kissing, bu
t that didn’t seem like nothing. That kiss felt real.”
She scoffed. “You’re right, you don’t have enough experience to tell if it was real or not. Trust me when I say it wasn’t.” The words fell out of her mouth almost effortlessly, but the hurt on Brandon’s face was enough to make her want to swallow them back. How could she be so mean? Her friend had been nothing but kind to her, and here she was, taking a knife to his heart. She didn’t deserve his friendship. “I think it’s time Seth and I moved back to our place. We’ve inconvenienced you long enough. We’ll leave first thing tomorrow.” She set the mug down in the sink, prepared to start packing.
“Bria, you don’t need to do that. We haven’t gotten the marriage certificate yet. What if Richard shows up at your apartment and sees you and Seth there? He’ll know all this was a scam.”
Brandon was right, so right. This whole marriage was a scam. How could she have believed any of it was real? She’d messed up too much in her life to get her own happy ending. “I’ll tell him I’m in the process of moving. I’ll make something up. Don’t worry, it’s not your problem to deal with.”
“But you’re my friend. I care about you, and Seth too. It matters to me what happens to you both.”
She shook her head. She hated hearing the pity in his voice. Seeing it on his face stung even more. “We’re not your family, Brandon. You can stop caring. We’ll be fine as we’ve always been. Seth and I are used to being on our own.”
A soft whimper sounded from the hallway, interrupting her words. Bria’s heart sank when she spotted a small figure hiding behind Brandon. “Seth?”
Brandon spun around and dropped to his knees before the trembling boy. “Hey, buddy, when did you get here?”
Bria didn’t know how long Seth had been listening, but from his sad look, she imagined he’d heard enough. “I thought you fell asleep. Do you still want some water?”
Seth shook his head furiously. “Why are you doing this? Why, Mom?” His tear-streaked face begged for answers. “Mr. B. loves us. Why can’t he be our friend anymore?”
She rushed over to her son’s side. “Seth, sweetie, I didn’t mean Mr. B. can’t be our friend. He still is. It’s just—things are complicated. This is grown-up stuff, which doesn’t always make sense to kids.” She’d be the first to admit matters of the heart didn’t make much sense to her either.
Despite the awkwardness of the situation, she turned to Brandon for support. He always seemed to know the right things to say, especially to Seth.
He nodded in response to her pleading eyes then turned to Seth. “Hey, buddy, remember what we talked about before? How God brings people into our lives at different times and for different reasons?”
Seth sniffled as he listened.
“That’s how it is for us. God gave us the chance to meet and spend time together. We made a lot of memories that we can hold onto for the rest of our lives. You and your mom had fun staying at my place for a while, but—” he hesitated “—it’s time for you to go back to your home. I-I have a lot of writing I need to do, so it won’t work for you to stay here anymore.”
Seth’s bottom lip trembled. “Y-you don’t want me either?”
“Either? What do you mean?”
“Like my dad. He never comes to see me. B-but I thought you were different.”
Brandon sucked in a breath, sounding as if he’d been punched. “Oh, Seth, that’s not true. You and I—we have a bond no one can break. I would be the luckiest guy in the world if you were my son. I’m so blessed to have you as my friend. We will always be friends. Anytime you want to go to the library or get ice-cream, you just tell your mom, and I’ll be there. I promise.”
Seth nodded. He ran straight into Brandon’s arms and hugged him tight.
Bria watched their exchange with a heavy lump in her throat. It wasn’t fair. Her son shouldn’t have to suffer for her mistakes. Guilt weighed on her all the more, forcing her to look away. When she turned, however, she failed to see Seth whisper into Brandon’s ear with a mischievous grin lighting up his face.
Chapter Twenty-One
Brandon
Brandon released a long sigh and took another sip of his soda. His eyes glazed over as he stared at the action scene playing on the TV screen. He was over at Colin and Darren’s, trying to pass the time anywhere else besides his own place. His own home was quiet, too quiet, since Bria and Seth moved out a week ago.
He hadn’t heard from them and didn’t know if he would any time soon. Even though Bria had promised to schedule some time for him to visit Seth, Brandon understood he didn’t hold any rights to the boy. If he got to see him again, it would only be by God’s grace. He had messed things up so badly with Bria that he had no idea how to repair their relationship. All he could do was pray she’d still want to be friends.
A pair of fingers appeared before his face, making a snapping sound. Brandon blinked until Colin’s large hand came into focus. “Huh? What is it?”
“Bro, are you even watching the movie? That whole building just blew up, and you didn’t even flinch. Still thinking about Bria, aren’t you?”
“Uh, yeah,” Brandon admitted reluctantly. “Seth, too. I really miss them. I hate how quiet it is at my place now. It’s just not the same without them.”
Colin chuckled. “And to think you moved out of here because you hated the noise.”
Brandon eyed his younger brother who was sitting beside him on the couch between a laundry basket and a stack of video games. The entire living room, along with the rest of the condo—save for Darren’s room—was just as cluttered. The visual mess was a tangible reminder of the other reason why Brandon had moved out. “It wasn’t just the noise, Colin,” he stated as gently as possible. “It was also—” he looked around the room “—the lack of space.”
“I know, I know. I’m going to clean up … someday,” he added with chagrin. “But what are you gonna do about Bria? You can’t just let her walk away like that.”
Brandon frowned. That was in fact what he’d done. But it wasn’t like he could force her and Seth to stay. Especially not after he’d embarrassed her by turning down her kiss. He gulped. What had he been thinking? He’d been so close to having his own happily-ever-after, yet he’d gone and sabotaged it. “I don’t know. I tried to tell her how I feel, but the words wouldn’t come out. Without a pen and paper or a keyboard, I can’t think, much less speak.”
Colin gave him a sympathetic look. “That’s your problem. You’re too much in your head. Just come out and tell her how you feel. You know, name your feelings. Fear, sadness, disappointment, anger—any of those would work. Women respond to emotion.”
Brandon blew out a long breath. Why was it he could write about these things till he turned blue in the face, but he couldn’t come out and say them? He wished he could be as uninhibited and carefree as Colin. No one ever had to wonder what was on his brother’s mind. He turned to Colin and asked, “How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Speak your mind and tell others how you feel. Don’t you worry what they’ll think of you?”
The corners of Colin’s mouth curved up behind his soda can. He lowered his drink and replied, “Of course I do, especially if it’s someone whose opinion matters. But I’d rather have people like me for who I am. I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not. And you can’t go through life as a shadow. You have to own who you are. You’re quiet, thoughtful, and sensitive because God made you that way.”
Brandon smiled wryly. “You forgot shy and socially awkward. I have nothing on the rest of you guys.”
“What are you talking about? Darren said you made a woman faint at your last book reading!”
“Colin, she was in her sixties. No woman our age would look twice at me.”
“Says the guy who got kissed by a woman our age and then rejected her.” He raised a brow. “That was not a good move, bro. I don’t know what you were thinking. When a woman kisses you, you kiss her back.”
�
�I did, but then I got scared. You know what happened the first time Bria kissed me? She left the next day.” He cringed as the words left his mouth. “And that’s exactly what happened this time. What is it about me and the opposite sex? Why can’t I get along with them in real life?”
Colin narrowed his eyes. “You need to have faith in yourself. You’re not the same guy who sat at home alone on prom night. You’re a famous author—”
“I’m not famous,” Brandon interjected. “At least not enough to be a household name.”
Colin shot him a disapproving look. “As I was saying, you’re a famous author with a large following of female fans. These fans love your work and can’t wait to buy every book you write. You’re financially stable, you own your own place—heck, you even got married before the rest of us.” He held up his hand when Brandon tried to cut in. “You proposed, she accepted, so you technically are married.”
“Only on paper.”
“That’s still one piece of paper the rest of us don’t have.” His expression turned serious. “Offering to marry Bria and having her and her son stay with you—that’s a huge deal. It goes to show how big your heart is. You inspire me. Not many people would have had the guts to do what you did.”
Brandon shook his head, refusing to accept Colin’s compliments. “You can call it guts; I call it being impulsive.”
Colin scoffed. “You are as steady as they come, Bran. I don’t recall you deciding to open an ice-cream shop after you watched a documentary about ice-cream on TV. I’ve got exclusive dibs on the word impulsive.”
“You’ve got a point there.” Brandon couldn’t help but chuckle. Colin did have many strengths, but he could also drive their family crazy with his spontaneous business ventures. “But the things you do are cool, you have to admit that.”
“And you’re a cooler person than you make yourself out to be. So be that guy and go get Bria back. You want her back, don’t you?”
