by Sean Geist
It was written on resort stationary. The handwriting was Lauren's. It was short and concise. My comfortable world was blown away by the words.
It read, “I know what you did.”
I knocked on the door. No answer. I opened it. The room was quiet, save for a few birds twittering in the distance, the sounds coming through the open balcony window.
There was no sign of Lauren or my brother. I looked around. My suitcase was still there, as were my clothes, safe in the drawer and closet, where my wife had unpacked them. Lauren's were not. Her drawers were empty. Her bag and passport were gone.
I looked in the studio. Richard's gear was also missing.
I was alone. My wife and brother were both gone.
Chapter Nine
A gaping hole had opened up in the middle of my chest. My heart ached, my stomach ached. I didn't know what to do. So I decided to go down and have breakfast. Maybe after a meal, I'd be able to organize my thoughts and figure out what to do next.
I took a quick shower, first. The spray of water on my face helped clear out a little of the fogginess obscuring my thoughts. I figured calling my wife to ask her what she was doing was the first thing I should do. She couldn't be too far. She was probably at the airport waiting for the next flight out.
I toweled myself off and threw on a pair of shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. I grabbed my phone and punched in her number. My hair was still wet and a few drops of water landed on the screen. I wiped them away and a few more landed. I realized they weren't drops of water, but tears. I was crying.
I waited for Lauren to answer. Anxiety began to build again. Was my life with my wife over? Had I killed my marriage? I hoped there was still time to save it.
I heard a buzz coming from the closet. I found Lauren's phone tucked in my jacket pocket.
Sadness turned to anger. I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled my arm back, preparing to throw the phone against the wall.
Luckily, a moment of clarity stopped me from destroying the expensive phone and possibly damaging the wall. Lashing out with violence wasn't going to solve anything. If Lauren wanted to be off the grid, I'd just have to deal with it. I put the phone back and headed down to the buffet.
I was surprised how hungry I was. I went back for seconds and when I was done with another helping of eggs and bacon and sausage I went back for a few more pastries.
Filling my face with food helped bury the feeling of loneliness, but it wouldn't last long. I went for a walk around the resort grounds. I wandered behind the buildings, on the cart path. A nice breeze blew through the trees and a numbing calm settled over me.
The path sloped downward past the laundry building and a few private residences, the spa and a cluster of tennis courts.
I saw a couple of older women, retirees maybe, hitting a ball back and forth, just for fun, nothing competitive.
I eventually made my way down to the beach. It was low tide and the wet sand stretched out much further then the last time I was here. Close to the tree line, I saw several locals trying to sell freelance massages and guided excursions to a nearby rainforest to the vacationers who had wandered off the resort property. It was all public beach and thus, fair game for the hustle.
Hearing the salesman patter on about mud baths and zip lines through the verdant canopy reminded me Lauren and I were suppose to be on one of those trips right now.
I politely waved away a woman offering discount meals to a local restaurant. I didn't mind what they did; it was their livelihood and they didn't need any hassle from me. I gently let them know I wasn't interested.
I walked a little ways up the beach, taking off my shoes to avoid getting sand in them.
There were a few people in the water splashing around. A young couple, a man and woman, were rolling around in the surf, pretending to be Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in From Here to Eternity. A mother steered her toddler around the two love birds.
A little ways farther, the wet shifting sand gave way to rocks and small tidal pools crawling with small fish darting back and forth and a few baby crabs scuttling about.
Lauren would have loved seeing this, I thought to myself. That sent my mind back to the young couple cavorting in the shallow water.
I went to climb across the slick rocks but slipped on a patch of algae and fell. I skinned my knee and decided to head back to the room to clean the wound.
Half hour later, I had wiped away the sand and blood with clean water, disinfected the cut with a little rubbing alcohol and slapped on a couple of bandages. I silently thanked my wife for packing the first aid kit and leaving it behind for me.
Lauren, my wife – still, I hoped – always thought of me. She went out of her way to make sure my needs were met. She remembered to get the gifts for each wedding we were invited to. She found the best prices for hotel rooms and flights. She knew which new restaurant or night club would be worth the time waiting in line to get in.
What the fuck was I going to do without her?
I fell face first onto the bed, my head buried in Lauren's pillow. It smelled of her, and for a brief moment she was still with me. She was in the bathroom, putting on makeup. She was wearing her black bra and lacy black boy shorts, sporty and sexy. I imagined she was getting ready for a night out at the resort discotheque.
A relative calm came over me as the fantasy of Lauren still being with me played in my mind. The clock on the nightstand read 11:47, almost noon. I closed my eyes and looked again and it read three o'clock.
My stomach rumbled a little. I had slept through lunch, so I went down to the pool side restaurant to get a sandwich and a salad.
The restaurant was a covered affair, open to the air, but encased in a black nylon netting, the reason for which became quickly apparent.
My table was near the outer edge and when the waiter set down my turkey sandwich, one of the resort's avian residents landed right on the net, about eye height. It's talons gripped the nylon while the bird stuck its beak through the netting and begged for a bit of food. I took a piece of turkey and held it an inch away from the beast's beckoning maw. I looked the fucker in its beady little eyes and whispered, “Fuck off.” I popped the meat into my mouth.
The bird, to its credit, took my teasing in stride and flew on in search of an easier mark.
Lauren would have laughed at my little jape and jokingly told me how mean I was. I wondered if I'd ever find another woman who knew me so well.
After I finished my meal, I went to sit by the pool again. I tried to read a little more of my book but I couldn't even pretend to concentrate, so I put down the book and watched the other guests enjoying another afternoon of their vacations. They all looked like they were having a much better time than me.
“Drink, Señor?”
“Dos cervezas, por favor.”
“Is your wife joining you?”
“No.”
The waiter looked like he wanted to say something but he didn't. Instead, he moved on to take a few more orders. He'd seen some weird shit, working at a resort like this, people on holiday, far from home, had a tendency to lower their inhibitions. Lauren, Richard and I among them. Never the less, a husband chasing his wife away by having his twin brother fuck her, would be unique.
I contemplated heading up to the room and changing into my swim suit and floating around in the pool for a while, but the thought of trudging up the steps exhausted me, so instead, I reopened my book. My beers came and I read and I drank and I pushed all thoughts of the future away. I'd deal with Lauren and my marriage when I got back to the States. My wife obviously didn't care or she wouldn't have left me like this. Whether she was mad or depressed, I didn't know. Hell, she might have enjoyed herself so much that when she discovered my duplicity she felt guilty and couldn't bear to face me.
That was wishful thinking.
If I had to wager, I'd put my money on her being pissed. Lauren rarely acted on impulse. Leaving me alone, getting an expensive early flight home just so she didn't have
to face me was something she wouldn't do unless she was outrageously upset. I'm surprised she didn't smother me while I slept. No jury would convict her after she explained what I'd done. Even I'd acquit her.
I finished the book; to this day I can't tell you how it ended. After I closed the cover, I glanced up. The forest surrounding the resort glowed a fiery orange as the sun dipped below the tree tops. Every so often, one of the howlers would let its presence be known. I checked my phone. It was around 4:30. There were no messages. That bothered me until I realized Lauren didn't have her phone.
The pool area was starting to get crowded, with people returning from an afternoon exploring the countryside. A few relaxing by the water before going to dinner or off to bed.
I saw a feisty couple in the jacuzzi, splashing playfully in the foamy water. They would be heading off to their room soon to get down to serious fucking. The woman's large brown boobs were barely being restrained by the flimsy bikini top she wore and I'm sure the young pale skinned man with her was sporting an erection. The resort was strictly adults only, but I think the staff would still frown on open fucking in the public hot tub.
I decided to head up to the bar to drown my sorrows with more alcohol. Each step up to the main building was rough. The spacing was odd and I had to vary my stride all the way up the seventy-five fucking steps. Yes, I counted.
The bartender had my Johnny Walker Black poured before I even sat down. He took one look at my face and left me alone. I nursed the drink and tried to figure out what I would do when I got home. I tried to imagine life without Lauren. Waking up in an empty bed. Eating breakfast alone. No one to discuss the news with. No one to see movies or go jogging with me. My life had revolved around being part of a family, being a couple – being in love. I had squandered that life and now I was by myself and I would have to adapt.
I was trying to predict which of us would be moving out of the townhouse, when the stool next to mine was pulled out.
“This seat taken?”
All the other stools in the bar were available, but she had to pick the one next to me.
“No.” I spoke to my drink, stirring the single ice cube with my finger. I licked the smokey remnant off my finger. I tried to appear like I wanted to be left alone, but I guess I failed at that, too.
“Buy me a drink?”
“That's mighty for—” I looked to the woman next to me and choked on my words. Her brilliant hazel eyes nearly blew me off my stool. Her newly tanned skin glistened. Her face, framed by her curly black hair, glowed with a breathtaking beauty. “Lauren.”
“Roger. You, okay?”
“I. No. Wha?” My words were failing me.
“Okay. Don't try to say anything and just buy me a drink.”
I got the bartender's attention, but couldn't for the life of me remember what my wife said she wanted to drink. “What did you say you wanted?”
“I didn't.”
Lauren laughed at my confusion.
My mind was reeling. I didn't expect to see my wife so soon. “I thought you left me.”
“First, a drink, sweetheart, then we'll talk. Gin and tonic.”
She called me sweetheart. My heart, having sunk to depths I'd never fathomed, rose. I got light-headed. “So, you're not mad at me?”
“Oh, no. I am mad.”
“But?”
“Drink.”
The bartender came over and took Lauren's drink order.
I looked at my wife. She looked at me. Her smile glowed, but I think it was mostly due to the contrast between her pearly white teeth and her tanned skin. Her eyes told a different story, a subtle sadness, disappointment, maybe.
“I'm so sorry.”
The pain in her expression lessened. “That's good to hear. A start. Thank you.”
The bartender set down her gin and tonic. Lauren took a sip of the cool drink. She closed her eyes and sighed as the alcohol and tonic water flowed down her throat.
“Nice.”
I could hold in my joy no longer. I reached over and enveloped my wife in a hug. “Where were you? I thought you'd left me.” Dozens of questions crossed my mind. “Where's Richard?”
“Calm down, Roger. Let's take this over to a table.” Lauren lowered her voice and added, “away from prying ears.”
I glanced at the bartender. He was cutting lemon wedges, his attention focused on the fruit and his blade. I'm sure he would have loved to eavesdrop on our conversation. We got up and moved to a private table in the corner.
“Are we good?” I was nervous.
Lauren looked at me. Her hazel eyes burrowed through my soul. “I don't know. We'll see.”
A chill ran through me. I had been so happy to see Lauren again, that I hadn't even considered our marriage might still be over. I'd have to tread lightly.
“Where've you been?”
“I went on the rainforest tour we booked.”
“Why didn't you wake me? After you figured out about Richard.”
“Roger, you silly idiot. I knew Richard wasn't you from the moment he walked into our room, two nights ago. Do you really think you could fool me? With a simple haircut and shave?”
“Yes?” I whispered.
Lauren laughed. “Come on. I've seen you naked just about every night and day since we've been married. Roger, I know every inch of your body. Probably better than you do.”
“Even in the dark?”
“Yes. Plus he smelled different. Behaved different. Sounded different.”
“And you still let him fuck you? Treat you rough?”
“I almost didn't. I almost screamed.”
“But you didn't. You weren't mad?”
“Oh, I was mad. But I was also a little tipsy and very horny, so I thought I'd play your game and scold you for it, later. Let me tell you, Roger, I would not have been so forgiving if I found out after Richard had cum inside me.”
Another wave of relief swept over me. “I'm so sorry. I'll do anything to make it up to you.”
“Bet your cute little ass you will.”
“You're not leaving? I was so afraid you'd left me, went back to New York.”
“I wanted you to think that, that's why I packed up my clothes. Left you my phone. I was hurt. You went behind my back, getting your brother to fuck me while you watched, just to satisfy your little fetish. That was so fucking wrong. You're going to be paying me back for that for a very long time.”
I opened my mouth to say something.
“No. Let me finish. I need to get this out. I'm so disappointed in you, Roger. You know how I feel about you sneaking around, trying to catch me cheating. You think it's hot. I don't. Having your brother switch places without telling me, that's damn close to rape.”
The words stung, more so, because she was right.
“Divorcing you is the least I could have done. I could have called the cops. I was so mad, for a moment I thought about letting you both know the jig was up. But I quickly figured the best punishment was to give you exactly what you wanted. Plus I was horny as hell and needed a cock inside me.”
I was confused. She was mad, but not. She knew about my brother, but, what about? “So, when you said it was the best sex. That was, a lie?”
Lauren gave me a wicked smile. She leaned in close. “You really want to believe that, don't you?”
The chill returned.
“Was it worth it? Watching your brother satisfy me like that? Bring me to such a powerful orgasm?”
“No.”
“Liar.”
“Yes. And, no.”
“What did you expect to happen, Roger? You watch me have sex, maybe I come, maybe not. You get your rocks off and we pretend nothing happened?”
She had me there. “Yeah. I was stupid.”
“Damn right you were stupid. I'm telling the truth, Roger. The sex was great. I was surprised. I really enjoyed it. More than I expected to. That's kinda why I'm not too upset right now.”
“But. When Richard took my place yeste
rday. Why didn't you say something?”
“Because I'm the one who asked him to do it. I snuck him the camera while you were asleep. I told him to make the switch. I thought you'd enjoy it.”
“Ren! I thought my brother had betrayed me.”
“Like you betrayed me?”
“Hon.”
“Quiet. I wanted to keep playing, but on my terms. So I told him to sneak out. I knew you wouldn't intervene, since you still thought I was ignorant of your scheme.”
I couldn't argue with her, and truth is, I didn't want to. “So you took him down to the beach and gave him a blow job.” I spit out my words.
Again, Lauren's face morphed into a sly grin. “That must have burned you. Thinking I was pleasuring your brother, but you couldn't watch.”
“It was hot, I'll admit. But I was still hurt.”
“It didn't happen.”
“What?”
“We didn't have sex on the beach, honey. I was playing this game for your pleasure. I was mind fucking you, not actually fucking your brother.”
“So, the anal. That wasn't real?” My spirits rose again. Maybe my wife still was an ass virgin. Maybe I would get to pop that cherry. If I played—
Lauren was shaking her head no, and smiling. What did that mean?
“You're shaking your head. Does that mean you didn't let him fuck you in the ass, or I'm wrong and you did?”
“Oh, he did. And it felt good.”
I slumped my shoulders.
“Don't feel too bad. I told you I wanted us to try it, and I do. We'll do it again – oops, no – we'll do it for the first time, eventually. You just won't be able to say you're my first.
“That's so humiliating.”
“But isn't that part of the fun? Being humiliated?”
I had to think about that one. The jealousy was arousing. The humiliation, I wasn't so sure of.
“Every thing I did, Roger, I did for you. If I went too far, I'm sorry.”
“Lauren, you have nothing to be sorry about. I deserve all the punishment you've dished out. I planned for my brother to fuck you. Without your consent. I deserve it all. The pain. The humiliation. All of it. I suck.”
I paused, to let Lauren say something.
