by Gil McNeil
‘I bet she does. She’ll be on a mission to find out.’
‘I just say it had been coming for a while, and it was a mutual decision and all that. I mean I don’t want people feeling sorry for me.’
‘Of course not.’
‘Actually, coming to tea at Molly’s might be quite handy. Put pay to any rumours.’
‘Good. Well, it’s next week, but I’ll get her to call you.’
‘Fine. I spoke to her earlier, Lola I mean. She rang, mainly to let me know she’s seeing someone else, someone from work, and she’s rented a flat. She’s coming down this weekend to see the children. She had to cancel last weekend at the last minute – too much work or something.’
‘God, I don’t believe her sometimes.’
‘And she definitely wants a divorce now – she’s hired a lawyer. Some really expensive one. I’m sure I’ve seen his name in the papers.’
‘Do you mind?’
‘No. I thought I might but I really don’t. It’s a bit of a relief, actually. I suppose I’ll have to sort out someone to act for me, maybe someone local.’
‘Oh that’s a good idea. And then Lola’s flash London lawyer can completely screw you. Honestly, Charles, don’t you dare. Get someone really expensive, who can give as good as they get.’
‘You’re probably right.’
‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to be bossy, but just don’t let her walk all over you, all right?’
He gives me a funny little smile.
‘I promise.’
There’s a slightly awkward silence.
‘I’ve been meaning to ask you about the village school, actually. What do you think of it? Only I thought I might move Ezra.’
‘I think that’s a great idea. It’s nice and friendly, and the teachers are really kind. I’m sure they’d keep an eye on him.’
They’ll have to, because he’s been worse than usual lately, which isn’t surprising, I suppose. But even so I’m glad he won’t be in Alfie’s class.
‘He can be so sweet sometimes, you know. I mean admittedly he’s being pretty revolting at the moment. But really he’s quite shy and he desperately wants people to like him.’
I feel rather mean now.
‘They’re all revolting sometimes.’
‘Yes, but the trouble is he’s so jealous of Mabel. I don’t think I’ve handled that very well. I mean we got all the books and we talked about it but somehow we never really followed anything through.’
‘Why don’t you make a time, once a week or something, when just the two of you go out, just you and him. Drop Mabel off with me, if you like. And you can tell him how proud you are of him.’
Bloody hell. He’s gone quite red. I hope I haven’t said the wrong thing.
‘Oh Alice, that’s such a great idea. I think he’d really like that. Especially if Mabel was banned. Are you sure you wouldn’t mind? I could ask Mrs Bishop. Actually, my mother’s been offering to help. Maybe she could have Mabel once a week or something. She finds Ezra rather hard-going. I’ll call her tonight.’
‘Good. Well, let me know if she’s busy.’
I hope she can do it, because I’m really frantic with work at the moment, and Alfie’s going through a phase of not sleeping too well, so I’m extra knackered. I think it’s something to do with starting school – Mum says we were both the same when we started school, and he’ll soon settle down. I bloody hope so, because it’s very annoying being calm and reassuring at three in the morning.
And I hope Charles gets something sorted out with Ezra. It’s really sweet how hard he’s trying. I don’t suppose being packed off to boarding school is exactly the ideal preparation for parenthood, but at least he’s giving it his best shot. And I know it shouldn’t be more impressive when a man worries about his kids, Molly’s right, it really shouldn’t be, it’s absolute bollocks. But somehow it just sort of is, although I wouldn’t actually admit this out loud to anybody.
Molly’s tea party is a big success. Mrs Pomeroy’s in her element, and spends most of the afternoon showing people all her photographs. Everyone seems to have decided not to mention Lola. Apart from Elsie, of course.
‘So where’s your Lola got to then?’
‘Elsie, really.’
But you can tell Mrs Pomeroy’s agog for the answer too.
‘Well, nobody’s seen her for weeks. Gone off to London, has she? Well, good riddance, I say. Always seemed a bit too fond of the sound of her own voice, that one. She wasn’t good enough for you, if you ask me.’
Charles laughs.
‘Oh, that’s very nice of you, Elsie, but I’m sure she wouldn’t agree.’
‘I bet she’ll turn up when the magazine people are here.’
‘I don’t think so. She’s rather busy at the moment.’
‘Oh she’ll find time, if it involves a bit of glory. Like some other people I could mention. We didn’t see a lot of them when it came down to digging in the pouring rain, did we? But now we’ve won a prize they’re all here.’
Mrs Pomeroy leads Elsie away, and makes a face at us behind her back, and Charles laughs.
‘I don’t know why you’re laughing – she’s right, you know. I bet she’ll turn up and try to take over.’
‘Oh no she won’t. We’ve already talked about it, and she told me to make sure she got proper credit, since it was all her idea. I told her to get stuffed.’
‘You didn’t.’
‘I did. It was marvellous. I said the Garden Society would keep any prizes, because they did most of the work, and the credit was all yours, for the design. She wasn’t very pleased, I can tell you.’
‘Oh good for you.’
I wish I could have seen her face.
Mr Channing comes over and starts to talk to Charles about winter-planting ideas, and Molly passes Jack to me.
‘He’ll scream if I put him down, but I need to collect up some cups.’
‘No problem. Is Alfie still in the garden with Dan?’
‘Yes, they’re looking at the new chicks.’
‘Jack’s really getting bigger now, isn’t he? He feels a lot heavier.’
‘That’s probably down to the fact that he never stops feeding. The only thing he’s not terribly keen on is sleeping at the moment.’
‘Alfie got a bit better when he started having baby rice and stuff. I think that helps.’
‘I’ve got a funny feeling it’s going to take more than baby rice to shut this one up.’
We walk into the kitchen and I sit down, but Jack starts to cry so I have to stand up and jiggle him a bit. I’d forgotten about the jiggling thing.
‘Doreen says Dan was a terrible sleeper too.’
‘How is she?’
‘Fine. Sort of. She still comes round and takes him out for walks, which is great. And she’s still being really bossy, but she’s saving most of it for Dan now.’
‘Oh dear.’
‘And I keep finding myself getting really angry with him for no reason, and then I see him sort of shut down and I hate it. But I can’t see any way out of it – I think we’ve just got to get through it. There are good bits too, when we’re all together and he’s playing with Lily or Jack, and he smiles at me. Things like that. But it’s a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.’
‘It’s bound to take time, Moll.’
‘I know. It just feels like it might be quite a long time.’
‘Well, at least you won’t have to worry about the gossip now. Everyone seems to have accepted you’re back together.’
‘Yes. Oh but I didn’t tell you, it was really sweet. Frank had a little word with Dan the other day, when he brought some onions round. Dan was mortified. He told him he hoped he realised what a bloody fool he’d been, and how he was glad he’d come to his senses, and did he realise how lucky he was that I’d let him come back.’
‘Oh bless him.’
‘Yes. And Bill’s still not speaking to him, not really. I mean he’s polite and everything, bu
t he avoids him.’
‘He’ll get over it.’
‘I know. I’m rather touched really. Dan is too in a funny sort of way.’
I take Jack out into the garden to see if a change of scenery will settle him down, and find Mr Channing and Frank hiding from Mrs Pomeroy.
‘She’ll find you in a minute.’
‘Yes, but at least we’ll have had a breather. She’s writing an article for the local paper now, you know. There’s no stopping her.’
‘Well, that’s quite a good idea, isn’t it?’
‘Yes. But she just takes over. I mean we might have a few ideas. Bill’s on the committee too, you know. But she just goes off without asking and does what she thinks best.’
‘Have you got any ideas then?’
‘Well, no, not as such, but we might. Give us time. We need to raise money to sort the roof out, that’s for definite. Or we might as well have our meetings outside. The rain was pouring in the other day.’
We talk about jumble sales and raffles and then Frank says we could do a calendar.
‘Like that WI one. They made a fortune.’
He’s very proud of himself for coming up with such a brilliant idea. But I don’t think Bill’s so sure.
‘What, with us all starkers, you mean? Oh she wouldn’t like that.’
Frank looks even more keen now.
‘Well, so what? Elsie would be game, and we could stick Mrs P behind a wheelbarrow. If we could find one big enough.’
Actually, I’m not really sure I want to see Frank and Bill with just their hats on, but they’re getting really enthusiastic about the idea.
‘What are you three laughing at? It must be good, I could hear you in the house.’
‘Charles, Frank’s had a brilliant idea. We’re going to do a gardening calendar, to raise money for the new roof. Naked Gardeners. What do you think?’
‘Christ, you’re not serious, are you?’
‘Yes, we are. And we’ve elected you to be the person who explains it to Mrs Pomeroy.’
‘Good God.’
Alfie tells me on the way home that he thinks babies are really boring.
‘Lily says Jack just sleeps and cries all the time. That’s not very nice, is it Mummy?’
‘Well, all babies cry sometimes.’
‘Yes. But chickens don’t. And dogs don’t. I think we should get a puppy, you know. It would be lovely. Much better than a silly baby.’
‘You were a silly baby once, you know, Alfie.’
‘Yes, but now I’ve growed up. And I want a dog. Everybody at my school has got a dog except me. It’s awful.’
‘Alfie, that’s not true. Lily hasn’t got a dog, for a start.’
‘No, but she’s got chickens. And anyway she’s a girl. Girls don’t have dogs, they have rabbits.’
‘So you don’t want a rabbit any more then?’
‘No. They’re stupid. I want a dog.’
‘Alfie, I’ve told you, when you’re bigger, maybe.’
‘I can’t wait that long. I can’t. I hate you, Mummy. I double hate you.’
I’m at home trying to work on plans for another barn conversion which Malcolm has just dumped on me, but I keep getting interrupted. It’s all very well being part of village life, and doing the garden has definitely meant I feel much more part of things now, but it does all tend to mean people keep ringing up or dropping in.
So far this morning Mrs Pomeroy’s rung to say that the magazine people are coming down next week, and do I think we should let Elsie come, only you know what she’s like. And then Charles calls to say we must make sure Elsie’s not pushed out, and Frank drops in to say he’s not sure he wants to be in a magazine, and do I think he has to wear a suit, only Mrs Pomeroy says he does, but we’re meant to be gardeners and nobody wears a suit to do the garden except for poor Mr Pomeroy.
I suggest he checks with Mr Channing on the dress code, and then on his way out he tells me the roses need pruning and he’ll do it for me if I like, and by the time he’s left he’s spotted loads of other important jobs that need doing in the garden, and says he’ll bring Mr Channing round to help. So that will mean I’ll have both of them twittering on for hours, which is very kind of them, obviously, but god knows how I’m supposed to get any work done.
I’ve just sat down after getting rid of Frank when there’s another knock on the door. This is getting ridiculous. I open the door, ready to tell whoever it is to sod off and let me get on with some work.
It’s Harry.
‘Oh. Hello.’
‘I was just passing, so I thought I’d call in. Is that OK?’
‘Of course. Come in.’
Bugger. I’m wearing a tragic old jumper and jeans and I haven’t even brushed my hair this morning. Not that it matters, of course. But still.
‘Are you sure you’re not busy?’
‘No, not all. I was just going to make some coffee – do you want some?’
‘Please. The front garden’s looking pretty good. How’s the back doing?’
‘Go and have a look. I’ll bring the coffee out, if you like. It’s not too cold out there, is it?’
‘Not in the sun, no, it’s quite warm.’
‘We won, by the way, a silver medal, for the new garden.’
‘That’s great, congratulations.’
‘I’m sure your herbs helped.’
‘Good.’
Naturally I’ve run out of fresh coffee, so I make do with instant and take the mugs out into the garden.
‘So how are you then?’
‘Fine. But it’s all been a bit frantic. Lola and Charles have split up, and Molly and Dan nearly did too. Actually, they still might, I suppose.’
‘Bloody hell, what brought all that on?’
‘Lola and Dan were having an affair.’
‘Crikey, he must be a total idiot. Why on earth would you want to go off with someone like Lola if you’ve got a woman like Molly at home?’
I’ve remembered why I liked him so much. Damn.
‘Well, it’s all right now. I mean Molly and Dan are back together, and they’re trying to make it work. And the baby’s really lovely.’
‘Good, and how’s Alfie?’
‘Fine. He’s started school.’
‘Oh, of course. Does he like it?’
‘Yes, so far. Although he’s not too keen on dance. He tends to gallop about instead of being a tree.’
‘I hated dance. We had to learn how to waltz with other boys. It was dreadful. And then they brought the girls in at the end of term, and that was even worse.’
‘Alfie’s not too keen on girls at the moment either. They’re going through a rather macho phase in reception.’
‘Oh I’m sure he’ll come round eventually. Most of us do.’
Oh god, I think he’s going to Say Something.
‘I was wondering, actually, if you might fancy a drink or something one night. Maybe?’
‘Oh Harry. I don’t know. The past few weeks have only made things more complicated really. It’s so hard just to avoid damaging each other, let alone getting it right. It’s sort of made me even more determined not to screw everything up, for Alfie mainly, but me too, I suppose. I think it has to feel overwhelming if it’s going to work. Like you just don’t have a choice.’
‘Oh. Right. Bugger. Well, I’m sure you’re probably right. Just thought I’d mention it. You do know you’re supposed to cut that parsley back, don’t you? It’ll go all leggy if you leave it like that. And that lavender needs cutting too.’
We talk about the garden for a bit, and I end up with another long list of vital jobs.
‘Well I’d better be off, but thanks for the coffee. And maybe I’ll see you, after a decent interval and all that, for me to get over my heartbreak.’
‘I’d like that. And you’re not really heartbroken, are you, Harry?’
‘No. Disappointed, but not heartbroken. I’m not really the heartbroken type.’
Thank god
for that. I really don’t know what I would have done if he’d said yes, he was completely devastated. Seeing him again has reminded me just how much I like him, but I’m sure now that I’ve done the right thing. I just wish you could sleep with someone sort of off the record; although everyone knows that off the record has a horrible habit of becoming right back on the record just when you least expect it.
As he walks down the path to his car I’m very tempted to say I’ve changed my mind, because I’ve always really liked the way he walks, and he’s got such great shoulders. But I manage to resist. Which is a good job too because apart from anything else I’ve still got the bloody plans to finish, and it’s nearly time to pick Alfie up.
Alfie’s learning the recorder, which is bad enough, but the really bad news is that he has to bring the flaming thing home to practise. Every night. Lily’s learning too. They’re both standing tooting away in the playground when we arrive to collect them. Molly’s walked up, and Jack is fast asleep in his pram. Not for long, I bet.
‘Lily, that’s lovely, but put it in the pram now, and we can walk home.’
They both run around tooting.
I ask Molly if she thinks I can throw Alfie’s recorder out of the car window on the way home, and blame it on a freak gust of wind.
‘Good plan. Let me know if it works, and I’ll try it tomorrow. I don’t remember signing any forms for this. In fact I’m sure I didn’t.’
‘Yes we did, at the start of term – don’t you remember? I thought they’d just do it in school time. Honestly. They might have said. If I’d known the idea was they brought them home I’d have said no.’
Alfie has found a new use for his recorder now, and is batting a small boy on the head with it.
‘Alfie, stop that.’
‘He started it.’
‘Well, you stop it, right now. Come on, get in the car.’
‘No. I want to walk home with Lily and Baby Jack. We’re going to play our corders all the way home.’
‘He can if he wants, I don’t mind, and you know we should be looking on the bright side really.’
‘How do you make that one out, Pollyanna?’
‘Well, they do the trumpet at my school. Just think. They could both have trumpets.’
‘Christ. Really?’
