Frank went out into the world and settled into a traditionally successful career in a gray flannel suit. His younger brother, Greg, rebelled, retreated and drifted through life for a time and now owns a small organic bakery in Oregon. When Greg left, Riley was already at the Police Academy and wondered if Greg felt the same when Riley had left as he did when Frank had left. Five years separated Riley and Greg, and they just weren’t that close as younger children. They stopped talking a few years after Riley left the fold. Riley believed that Greg was too young to understand or hang out with him.
As a youth, Riley’s two biggest challenges were to find other kids his own age who understood his unusual perspectives: He was not conventionally religious and he had an ability to see the truth where others did not.
His belief system was quite out of the ordinary in his very religious hometown. And it was one he had developed even though he had grown up in a devout Catholic household and had participated in all the Catholic sacraments of childhood: first communion, confession, confirmation. But perhaps “not religious” isn’t quite accurate. Unlike the community of Hayden Lake and his parents, he just wasn’t committed to any one set of beliefs. He never disliked his parents’ religious beliefs; he simply did not share them as his own. Like his mother when she was a child, he had his own set of beliefs and they tended to be in direct conflict with their entrenched Christian belief system. Riley learned to hold back his beliefs in favor of keeping peace in the family.
His other big challenge was that Riley had the ability to see things for what they really were and not what they appeared to be. Unlike most of the children in his small provincial town, he understood diversities in life and never judged others for their life choices. This made him an outcast within his own community. Riley’s liberal critical thinking was not favored in this traditional-thinking rural town.
Although he found life in Hayden Lake challenging, Riley managed to fit in. He was a model son. He did chores without complaint and although he was not a straight-A student, he graduated near the top of his class and was a stand-out long distance runner. He was responsible to a fault. He never got into trouble and he made his parents proud.
But his real passion was tied to his desires for adventure. He had only read about the travels of others and he wanted to leave his small town in Idaho and explore the country and maybe learn to fly. He had been less interested in settling down and more interested in knowing the world on his terms.
Riley’s parents never truly understood that about him. They knew him to be a quiet and gentle boy. Riley would go to the library and read. His favorite books were A Wrinkle in Time and A Swiftly Tilting Planet. He longed to see the world and seek out adventure. He was interested in the cosmos and what lies in space and beyond. He hid his passion for adventure from his parents but kept it alive as he stole away hours in the library and under his covers at night using a flashlight to illuminate his adventures.
Riley graduated from high school at mid-term when he was seventeen. He attempted to further his education at the local community college. He explored courses in music and geography and wondered if these classes might ignite or inspire his interest in academics while satisfying his desires for exploration of his world. He wondered if a music career might help him find a way out his small town and geography seemed like and natural choice.
He gave it one year, but discovered he was not the academic type and the courses he tried were not what he had hoped for. He dropped out and left his hometown, following the best path he felt open to him after his first year in college. He decided to try the police academy, was accepted in Boise, applied himself to his studies, and graduated three months later on his nineteenth birthday.
His first job as a rookie cop was just after he turned 19 in the same town where Sarina grew up. Although this town was much like the one he had come from, the fact that he was out of his father’s house and an adult on his own opened a whole new life for Riley free from the bonds of his own traditional small town limitations and the strict conservative rules of his father, who was angry that he decided to drop out of college.
Riley was paired with a partner named Jennifer Banderas and they became close friends as police partners tend to do. Jennifer introduced Riley to expanded ways of thinking. She was so different from the girls he had known in his provincial home town. She showed him the world of astrology and numerology along with a chance to explore his spirituality in a non-religious setting. Riley remembered a few of the bitter stories his mother told him about his grandmother and her unorthodox life as a healer. He wondered if, somehow, Jennifer was showing him that the old ways of being a healer were valuable. Even as he knew very little about astrology or energy healing, Riley felt alive in his body. Something inside felt liberated and he spent a great deal of time with Jennifer when they were off duty exploring the ins and outs of spirituality and the greater meanings of life. She was his salvation to a degree. Riley was able to explore his spiritual beliefs in a way he could not with his own mother when he was a teenager. Jennifer was a perfect partner for him and he enjoyed her. These were good times for Riley and he believed his life was heading in a grand direction.
Riley connected with Jennifer in ways that were beyond description. He felt a peace with her. He was able to be himself and she accepted him without judgment. She was like the sister he had never had, but then there were those other feelings.
At times both Riley and Jennifer wondered about a romance, but they were so honest with each other and both agreed that a romance was not in their future. Their relationships as friends and police partners were too important to mess it up with a romance. This understanding seemed to serve them well. But Riley still wondered what it might be like to be in love with his best friend. Alas, Riley never got the chance.
Jennifer fell in love with a young assistant deputy attorney. They married and she had two daughters. Riley was happy for Jennifer yet somehow he was not able to let go of his feelings for her as their relationship slowly changed over time. Naturally, Jennifer’s attention focused on her husband and ultimately her children. Riley wanted to continue their journey exploring astrology and numerology, but it was too challenging for him to do it alone and the pain of missing Jennifer was too great.
Jennifer opted for a desk job with the department and Riley decided to advance through the police ranks to become a detective. He knew that this meant he might have to leave the small town and move on to a bigger city. He realized then that his heart had been broken and that leaving this small rural town was going to be his way of shutting out his feelings for his former partner.
Riley understood Jennifer’s new life direction and tried hard to accept it. But try as he would, the best he could do was retreating inside. He experienced a spiritual dormancy for a long period of time.
Riley tried a few romantic relationships, but they were short lived. He even got a dog. These were diversions from his deeper feelings for Jennifer and Riley knew that. He knew he longed for a committed relationship with a woman who was strong and connected to her own life’s journey. Riley also knew that he needed to be centered and balanced before engaging in any relationship. These were words Jennifer used and this made his connection with Jennifer indeed difficult to release.
When an opportunity came up in San Francisco, Riley jumped at the chance to work as a detective in the homicide division. He never regretted that decision. San Francisco was a city of more spiritual awakening and deep healing than any other part of the country and Riley knew this. He hoped this opportunity might put an end to his internal conflicts about his still very present feelings for Jennifer, which now seemed to surface again with this case and new unspoken, budding relationship with Sarina. He saw this as a solid move filled with new opportunities and yet he felt terrified inside.
Riley thought about these events as he talked with Sarina in Yumma’s. This chance meeting was turning out to not be chance at all as Riley felt something stir deep inside.
“
How much do you know about numerology or astrology?” asked Sarina.
“Jennifer talked about it and it interested me, but I never followed it the way she did. She did a reading for me all those years ago but I don’t remember much. I suppose I didn’t really believe in either so it was easy to let it all go when she got married and had kids. Maybe watching her move on with her life was too painful for me.”
Sarina was staring at Detective Holden as he was sharing this. She felt that pang in her heart again, this time it was stronger. “Well ... your numbers are likely quite amazing.” Sarina looked away from him and had been playing around on a napkin with the information she had. “What is you full name: first, middle and last?”
“Riley John Holden.”
‘And your date of birth?”
“April 4th 1961.”
Sarina worked Riley’s numbers and shared her numerological discoveries with him. “So here is what I have. These are what your numbers look like. Are you ready?”
“Sure. Go ahead.”
“Your Destiny (what you are here to DO) is revealed by your name numbers: Riley (33=Christ consciousness/unconditional love) John (20) Holden (31), which in turn result in these numerological combinations: 84 (33 + 20 + 31) / 12 (8 + 4) / 3 (1 + 2). Your destiny is that of one who uplifts and inspires others. You should play center-stage and develop your talent for expression and communication through drama, elocution, or foreign languages. Explore the arts. Study the religions of the world. This could be a constructive outlet for your energies, since you have a natural inclination toward spiritual philosophies. Your occupation could encompass therapy for others, as well as self-improvement.
“Your Life Path derives from your birthdate: 4/4/1961= 25 (4 + 4 + 1 + 9 + 6 +1) / 7 (2 + 5). You are here to use and develop your mind. You like to read, think, and meditate. Your words should be full of wisdom when you decide to talk.
“But despite your penchant for things of the mind and reason, your strong intuition helps in any line you choose and gives insight when needed. You may be an enigma to others, and even to yourself at times. Many times you have to rely on your soul-force to solve difficult material problems. You may delve into the occult, the mysterious, and the phenomenal side of life. Music and other arts are in harmony with your keynotes. You may be drawn to the church, science or research, and analysis. A career in mathematics or investigation could hold your interest.
“You should learn to spend time by yourself, in the woods, or by the seashore where you can get in touch with your inner self and your deepest thoughts because your destiny is to use your mind. You are strongly intuitive and often have prophetic dreams. You may be clairvoyant as well. These are qualities you have developed by overcoming many obstacles.
Your early years may have been difficult, and these trials may have helped you overcome instability. You have to awaken to the truths within and thereby acquire wisdom. What others see in you as intuition may be their own projection as merely a developed talent of observation and attention to details. However, these qualities will allow you to piece together the whole and arrive at conclusions much faster than others. If past experiences have not taught you to develop these qualities then you should begin now; otherwise, your impulsive nature can turn challenging situations into conflict.
“You have an alert, energetic mind that always seeks new enterprises, ideas, and locations. Your adventurous disposition tends to make you more mobile than most, and you may often change your place of residence to fulfill this wanderlust. You like nature and may prefer to live in the country rather than the city, perhaps near the water.
“A pioneering spirit and a quest for knowledge brings out the fiery missionary zeal within you, and you become a spiritual crusader.
“Generally, remain alert to various ways to overcome the obstacles you will meet and work hard to follow through with the job; then you will achieve leadership in any business or enterprise you embrace. If you express the negative aspects of your birthdate numbers, 25/7, it will cause conflict and a loss of energy. The job never gets done. Laxity and un-fulfilment can then bring on cruelty.”
“What about your numerology,” Riley asked.
“My birthdate is 5/31/1963 and adds up to 55 (5 + 31 + 1 + 9 + 6 + 3) / 10 (5 + 5) / 1 (1 + 0), the same number as your full life path number. The 1 life path: I must learn to be original, strong willed, creative, and innovative. I am exuberant and energetic. I react intensely and am capable of extremes in all endeavors and pursuits. I should have the courage and drive to go ahead into new fields of expression and be a pioneer. I am perceptive and therefore equipped mentally to explore any project, idea, or concept. I have the ability to reason and the talent to write.
“This number dominates religion and morals and combined with my other qualities, I strive to be a dominating leader who reflects honest, high-minded, and ethical ideals, which inspire others to follow me. Thus, I am a champion of right and seek swift justice to maintain balance. I believe in law and order and try to remain balanced between mercy and severity. This balance may draw me toward the law or the ministry where I can most adequately express my keen sense of mercy and justice.
“This numerological combination also affirms many qualities that I have shown repeatedly in my studies and work as a journalist. I love all things related to communication. I can ferret out information that others would overlook. I am a natural researcher. Words fascinate me, and writing is another area in which I can fulfill my basic need to explore and reveal the secrets of life. My writings may have tangible values for others. Through my love of communication, I will meet many different types of individuals in my lifetime.
“Many children may grace my home, in keeping with my productive nature. My children will benefit from my principles and may achieve distinction in their given fields.”
“Wow. That was fascinating. What about us together?”
Sarina read on. “The fact that your birth DAY number is a 4 and my birth DAY number is 4 (3 + 1) means both of us tend to use our hands, are drawn to nature and prone to be stubborn. We are of the Earth and are practical people. Your 7 Life Path and 3 Destiny is a challenging combo with mine. The inner reflection in contradiction with the outer charisma means a battle may ensue within our relationship. Serious, yet spontaneous in nature means you and I will have to learn to go with the flow. We may change careers in later life, becoming a writer or discovering a hidden talent. We will gradually learn to trust ourselves and will be known for at least one major contribution in life.”
They talked for hours about what felt true and what was less true about the readings and closed down the restaurant. The owner allowed the two to remain and chat as the staff cleaned up. The midnight bell sounded and Sarina and Riley knew it was time to leave. Neither wanted the conversation to end, but both knew they had plenty of time to get to know one another.
They walked to Sarina’s apartment and said good night. It was clear that they were both experiencing some feeling for each other and that boundaries needed to remain intact for the time being. This journey was, after all, just beginning. Gentle nudges were happening but these nudges were not so strong. They seemed more like suggestions and less like commands.
Boundaries understood did not mean a hug was not allowed. Sarina and Riley gazed into each other’s eyes with a knowing of connection and hugged each other good night. The electrical pulse was there and when they released their embrace, they both smiled.
Riley walked home filled with new life and many questions. His emotions were telling him how great this felt while his mind was fighting to stay in control. He knew that balance was the key but his mind was used to being the commander. If only he knew how to let his mind go, to give his mind a job that felt inclusive. He was a detective and that meant for him that he needed to remain sharp and alert. How was he going to enable his mind without allowing it to take control?
Riley was lost in his thoughts and feelings when he passed a dark shadow on the sidewalk. This happ
ened all the time in San Francisco and Riley normally thought nothing of it, but this time something felt different. He wasn’t sure what it was he was experiencing, but a sweet putrid smell hung in the air. The only real reference he had to this smell was that of Japanese Camellias when the blossoms begin to fall and rot on the ground. But that happened in late spring and early summer and this was the wrong season. The first word that came to Riley’s mind was “darkness.” How was darkness a smell, he thought to himself.
Riley snapped around but the figure was no longer visible. Was it ever really there? he heard himself ask. Riley stopped and listened. He felt a nudge but this time with some force as if being pushed backwards. He tried to take a step forward but was pushed back again. He turned around facing the direction of Sarina’s apartment and then a powerful “kick” hit him. He stumbled forward and began walking and then running back to Sarina’s apartment in a sprint. He caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of his eye as he rounded the first corner.
His instinct told him to pursue who- or whatever he saw. He had no time to call for back up. He turned quick on his feet in hot pursuit. The figure was only a few yards ahead of him but no matter how fast he ran, the dark figure managed to keep just ahead of him. “STOP!” Riley shouted. But the figure kept moving. At one point Riley thought he caught a piece of the figure’s cloak that billowed behind with the movement of the air. Riley was not certain if the person was male or female. Male, he thought judging by how the figure moved.
Riley grabbed for his police issued Glock 22 from its hidden holster in one swift maneuver. Riley loved this weapon. It was designed as a no-nonsense hard working pistol and was balanced just right for fast foot pursuit. He rarely needed to use it other than to get his point across in a tight spot. He was glad he kept up his practice at the firing range. He felt secure with it in his hand.
The Song_A mysterious tale of the Mayan spirit world and the Mayan calendar Page 14
