by Premchand
‘Why don’t we wait for five or ten days? Tell them I am sick.’
‘Don’t talk like a crazy person.’
‘People will make fun of us!’
‘As far as auspicious occasions are concerned, I don’t really care what anyone says.’
‘Amma will not let you enter the house because of me. You will also get scolded.’
‘I don’t care about that. That is her habit.’
The tonga reached its destination. Indranath’s mother was a progressive woman. She welcomed the bride and led her in.
6
It was twelve o’clock when Gokul left for home. On the one hand, he had the joy of having completed an auspicious task, but on the other, he was scared of facing his family when they saw no sign of Maani returning. He decided to disclose everything the moment he reached home. It was pointless to hide anything. He would have to tell them the truth sooner or later. So why not today?
With this decision, he entered the house.
Opening the door, his mother said, ‘What were you up to till this late hour? Why didn’t you bring her along? Who will do the dishes and clean the kitchen in the morning?’
Bowing his head, Gokul said, ‘She may not come back now, Amma. Arrangements have been made for her stay in that house.’
Wide-eyed, his mother blurted out in surprise, ‘What nonsense! How can she live there?’
‘She is now married to Indranath.’
His mother felt as if she had fallen from the sky. She completely lost her senses and did not realize what ugly abuses she spouted on her own son—kulangaar, pimp, bastard and so on. Finally, Gokul could not contain himself. He lost his patience. His face turned red, his brows wrinkled. He said, ‘Amma, that’s enough. I don’t have the patience to take this any more. If I had done anything improper I would not have raised my head even if you had beaten me with your slippers. But I have done nothing. I only did my duty, as any decent human being would do under the circumstances. You are a fool. You have no idea how times have changed. I have listened to your abuses with patience so far. You and, sadly enough, father, too, had made Maani’s life a living hell. You treated her worse than one would treat an enemy. Just because she was dependent on you? Just because she was an orphan? She will not return to listen to your abuses any more. Hurt by your harsh words, she was going to commit suicide the day there was a wedding celebration in your house. If Indranath had not reached there on time, we, you and the entire family, would have been sitting in jail today.’
Mother rolled her eyes and said ironically, ‘Oh, what a great son you are—you saved the entire house from a disaster! And why not? This was your sister’s turn. Next you will dispose me off to someone, so you can live in luxury. This is the best way to make your living. What was the use of getting an education?’
Gokul’s heart ached and he writhed in agitation. In an anguished voice, he said, ‘God forbid that a child be born from the womb of a mother like you. It’s a sin to even look at your face.’
He left the house and walked away like a crazy man. A fierce wind was blowing but he felt as if there was no air for him to breathe.
7
A week went by but there was no sign of Gokul. Indranath had gone to Bombay, where he had found a place to live. After making arrangements for their stay, he wired his mother. Both she and Maani were to join him there. Vanshidhar had first suspected that Gokul might be hiding in Indranath’s house. When he could not find him there he started looking for him everywhere in the city. All his visits to acquaintances, friends and relatives drew a blank. After running around the whole day, when he came back in the evening, he would take his wife to task saying, ‘So, this is the result of cursing your son. Curse, curse, keep on cursing him again and again. God knows if you will ever come to your senses. The witch had left, you should have left the matter at that. Our burden had gone away. Keep a maidservant to manage the house. When she was not here, did we go hungry? Widows are getting married again, this is nothing unusual. If it were up to us, we would have thrown out the supporters of widow remarriage out of the country. We would have cursed them and burnt them alive but this is beyond our control. You too did not think it necessary to talk to me regarding this. I would have then done whatever I deemed fit. Did you think I would not come back from the office that day? That my last rites would be performed there? You just fell upon the boy! Now cry, cry as much as you can!’
Dusk had fallen. After scolding his wife Vanshidhar was walking restlessly outside his home. Time and again, he would get angry with Maani. My home has been ruined because of this devil. God knows in what inauspicious moment she chose to come to us—she just ruined us! Had she not come here, we would not have witnessed these hard times. He was such a promising, talented lad, I wonder where he’s gone! Suddenly, an old woman walked up to him and said, ‘Sir, I have this letter for you, please take it.’
Vanshidhar, his heart palpitating with hope, leapt forward and took the letter from the old woman. Perhaps Gokul had sent it. He could not decipher anything in the dark so he asked, ‘Where did you get this from?’
The old woman replied, ‘The wife of the gentleman who lives in Husainganj and is now working in Bombay has sent this letter.’
Vanshidhar went to the room, lit the lamp and started reading the letter. The letter was from Maani.
Respected Chachaji,
Accept pranams from the unfortunate Maani.
I was very sorry to hear that Gokul Bhaiya has gone somewhere and his whereabouts are not known. I am the cause. This stigma was meant for me and it has stuck. I am sorry that you had to suffer so much because of me. But bhaiya will definitely come back—I am sure about it. I am leaving for Bombay by the nine o’clock train tonight. Please forgive me for the offences I have committed and convey my pranams to chachi. My only prayer to God is that Gokul Bhaiya returns in good health. God willing I will visit you and pay my respects to you at bhaiya’s wedding.
Vanshidhar tore the letter to pieces. He realized it was eight o’clock. Immediately, he changed his clothes, hired an ekka from the road and left for the station.
8
The Bombay Mail was waiting on the platform. There was a commotion among the passengers. The noisy call of the hawkers drowned out all other sounds. The train was about to leave. Maani and her mother-in-law were sitting in the ladies’ compartment. Moist-eyed, Maani was looking out into the distance. Past memories, however unpleasant, can have a tinge of sweetness. Maani was remembering her earlier days of suffering and feeling happy that they were over. Who knows when she would meet Gokul again! If only chachaji had come she would have had a chance to pay her respects. True, he had scolded her sometimes but it was always for her welfare. But he would not come. The train was about to leave. How could he come anyway? It would create a commotion in society. God willing I shall see him when I come here next.
Suddenly, she saw Vanshidhar approaching the train. She stepped out of the train and moved towards him. She was about to fall at his feet when he stepped back. Casting a wrathful glance at her, he said, ‘Don’t touch me, stay away, you . . . the unfortunate one. How dare you write to me after blackening your face! Why don’t you die! You have ruined my clan. Till today we do not know where Gokul is. Because of you he left home and here you are still sitting on my chest, torturing me deliberately. Is there no water left in the Ganges for you to drown in? Had I realized that you were so unchaste and disloyal, I would have strangled you the very first day. Now you are trying to demonstrate your devotion to me! Sinners like you are better dead than alive. That would lighten the burden on this earth.’
A crowd of hundreds had gathered on the platform. Vanshidhar was hurling abuses at her mercilessly. No one understood what the matter was. But in their hearts all of them were condemning Vanshidhar.
Maani stood frozen like a statue. Her entire dignity lay shattered. She wished the earth would burst open and swallow her, that someone would strike her with a thunderbolt and put an end to her insignificant life!
She had lost face in front of so many people. Not a drop of a tear fell from her eyes, for there were no tears left in her heart. There was a kind of burning forest fire instead which was fast engulfing her mind. Whose life could be more depraved than hers in this world?
Her mother-in-law called out, ‘Bahu, get into the train.’
9
As the train moved, her mother-in-law said, ‘I have never seen such a shameless person in my whole life. I am so enraged I wish I could have scratched his face.’
Maani did not raise her head.
Her mother-in-law said again, ‘God knows when these wretched people will come to their senses, now it is almost time for them to die. Somebody should ask him—what can we do if his son has run away! Why would this calamity befall him if he were not such a sinner?’
Maani once again did not open her mouth. Perhaps she was unable to hear anything. Perhaps she was not even aware of her existence. She was fixedly gazing at the window—what was she perceiving in the dark?
The train arrived at Kanpur. Her mother-in-law said, ‘Will you eat something, beti? Come, eat some sweets. It is past ten.’
Maani said, ‘I am not hungry now, Amma. I will eat later.’
Her mother-in-law went to sleep. Maani also lay down but her uncle’s face loomed large in front of her eyes and his words rang in her ears. ‘Alas,’ she moaned. ‘I am so depraved, so low that the earth will be less burdened if I die.’ She recalled Vanshidhar’s words—Don’t show your face again if you are your parents’ daughter. I would not. If a face has been branded by slander, one does not feel like showing it to anyone.
The train moved on, piercing the heart of darkness. Maani opened her trunk and put away her ornaments. Then she took out Indranath’s photograph and looked at it for a long time. Her eyes shone with a glint of pride. She put the photograph aside and said to herself, ‘No, no, I cannot blot your life. You are godlike, you have taken pity on me. I am atoning for the sins of my past. You picked me up and pressed me close to your heart and I will not taint you. You love me and you will tolerate disrespect, insult and slander for me, but I will not be a burden on your life.’
The train chugged on. Maani kept gazing at the stars till they disappeared. She saw her mother’s face in the dark so bright, so vivid that she closed her eyes with a start. Then she looked inside the compartment to see her mother-in-law sleeping.
10
God knows how much of the night had passed. Maani’s mother-in-law woke up at the sound of the door opening. The train was moving very fast but there was no sign of her bahu. She rubbed her eyes, sat up and called out, ‘Bahu, bahu.’ But there was no reply.
Her heart started beating very fast. She cast a glance at the upper berth, looked inside the toilet, below the benches—bahu was nowhere. Then she stood at the doorway. She got suspicious—who had opened this door? Had someone come in? Her heart grew restless. She shut the door and started crying loudly. Who could she ask? The mail train would not stop for a while. I had told her—Bahu, let’s sit in the male compartment but she did not listen to me. She said, ‘Amma, you will have trouble sleeping in a male compartment.’ Now is this the comfort she has given me?
Suddenly she remembered the alarm chain. She pulled the chain vigorously many times. The train stopped after several minutes. The guard arrived. A few more passengers joined in from the next compartment. They searched the entire compartment. They checked the boards below carefully. There was no trace of blood. They checked the luggage. Bedroll, box, small box, utensils—everything was there. All locks were intact. Nothing was missing. If someone had entered the compartment from outside where could he have gone from a moving train? It was impossible to jump from a train carrying a woman. From these signs, all those present concluded that Maani must have fallen down after losing her grip on the handlebar. The guard was a nice fellow. He got off the train and searched for Maani for one mile on both sides of the railway track. There was no trace of her. What more could be done at night beyond that! Some people insisted upon taking Mataji to the men’s compartment. It was decided that Mataji should get off the train at the next station and a full search operation be carried out in the morning.
We start depending on others in times of adversity. Mataji looked around for help here and there. Her plaintive eyes seemed to be saying—Why can’t someone bring back my daughter? Oh, she had barely tasted marital joy, she was so excited about going to her husband! Someone should go to that wicked Vanshidhar and tell him, ‘Look, your desire has been fulfilled. Are you happy now?
The old woman sat crying and the train kept moving, breaking through the darkness.
11
It was Sunday evening. Indranath was sitting on the terrace with a couple of friends. There was fun and laughter all around as Maani‘s arrival was awaited. A friend said, ‘Why, Indra, you have some experience of married life, what do you advise us? Shall we build a nest somewhere or shall we spend the rest of our lives sitting on the branches? From journals and magazines it seems that there is little difference between married life and hell.’
Indranath smiled and said, ‘This is a matter of destiny, absolutely a stroke of luck. If married life is like hell on the one hand, it is no less than heaven on the other.’
Another friend said, ‘Will there be this kind of freedom?’
Indranath said, ‘Not even one per cent of this. If you wish to return from a movie at midnight, to wake up at nine o’clock. and play cards after returning from office at four, then marriage will not bring you any happiness. If you can get a suit stitched every month now, then you may not even get one in a year.’
‘Your respected spouse is coming by train tonight, isn’t she?’
‘Yes, by mail train. Why don’t you come to the station to receive her?’
‘You don’t have to ask me. Why go home now? But you will have to treat us to dinner tomorrow.’
Suddenly, the postman came and handed Indranath an envelope.
Indranath’s face lit up. He slit open the envelope and started reading it at once. As soon as he read it, his heart was paralysed, his breathing stopped and his head reeled. He lost his vision, as though a black curtain had enveloped the earth. He flung the telegram to his friends and started crying bitterly, his face covered with both his hands. Perturbed, his friends picked up the telegram nervously and looked at the wall. They recalled what they had been looking forward to and look what had happened!
The telegram read like this:
Maani jumped off the train. Her corpse was discovered three miles from Laalpur. I am in Laalpur. Come immediately.
One of the friends said, ‘An enemy might have sent a false report.’
The second friend said, ‘Yes, sometimes people indulge in such mischief.’
Indranath looked at them blankly but said nothing.
For many minutes, all three sat quiet and motionless. Suddenly, Indranath stood up and said, ‘I shall leave by this very train.’
The train was to leave Bombay at nine. Both friends quickly wrapped the bedroll and got it ready. One picked up the bedroll and the other, the box. Indranath hurriedly changed his clothes and left for the station. Despair led and hope followed.
12
One week had passed. Vanshidhar had just arrived home from office when Indranath came and offered his respects. Vanshidhar was startled to see him, not at his unexpected arrival but at his dishevelled appearance.
Vanshidhar asked, ‘You had gone to Bombay, no?’
Indranath said, ‘Yes, I have only just come back.’
Vanshidhar said in a sharp tone, ‘You destroyed Gokul.’
Indranath looked at his ring and said, ‘He is at my place.’
Vanshidhar’s sad face lit up. He said, ‘Why didn’t he come here? Where did you meet Gokul? Had he gone to Bombay?’
‘No, I met him at the railway station yesterday when I got off the train.’
‘Then go get him. Let bygones be bygones.’
Saying this, In
dranath ran towards the house. In a minute, Gokul’s mother called him indoors.
Gokul’s mother looked at him from head to toe and said, ‘Were you sick, bhaiya? Why do you look so crestfallen?’
Gokul’s mother gave him a lota full of water and said, ‘Wash your hands and face, son. Gokul is all right, I suppose? Where were you all these days? How many times I have prayed for his return! Why has he not come?’
Indranath said, washing his hands and face, ‘I did suggest that he should come but he didn’t out of fear.’
‘Where was he all these days?’
‘He said he was roaming around in the villages.’
‘So, you have come alone from Bombay?’
‘Not really, Amma has also come with me.’
Gokul’s mother asked with some hesitation, ‘Maani is in a good place, isn’t she?’
Indranath smiled and said, ‘Yes, she is in great bliss now. She is free from all earthly bonds.’
His mother said in disbelief, ‘Don’t be naughty now. Are you cursing the poor girl? But tell me, why have you come back from Bombay so soon?’
Indranath said with a smile again, ‘What could I do? I got a telegram from Mataji saying that Maani had jumped off the train and ended her life. Her body was lying in Laalpur. I rushed there. That’s where I performed the cremation and other rites. I returned home only today. Please forgive my offence now.’
He could say no more. Tears welled up and choked his throat. He took out a letter from his pocket and kept it in front of her and said, ‘I found only this letter in her box.’
For a long time, Gokul’s mother sat in speechless anguish, gazing at the floor. Grief and more aptly repentance had overpowered her senses. She picked up the letter and started reading it.
Swami!
When you get this letter in your hands, I will be gone from this world. I am very unfortunate. I have no place in this world. Because of me, you too will be in trouble and be condemned. I thought about it and decided that it is best for me to die. How do I reciprocate the compassion you have showered on me? I had never desired anything in life but I regret not dying at your feet. My last request to you is that you do not mourn for me. May God always keep you happy.
