Not Quite Dating

by Catherine Bybee

  Danny coughed a couple of times and then said, “Better. I think I could go to the park later on.”

  Ah, yeah, right. “I don’t think that’s a good idea today. Maybe by tomorrow.” Or the day after.

  “I checked his temperature when he woke up,” Jack told her. “It was 101.2, so I gave him the Motrin like the doctor said to.”

  Jessie glanced between Jack and Danny before brushing Danny’s hair away from his eyes. Danny watched the TV, hardly glancing at her. She stood and walked into the kitchen, where the smell of toast filled the tiny space.

  “Thanks for helping Danny out.”

  “I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Mind? Jack, please, I appreciate it.”

  He leaned a hip against the counter and sipped his coffee.

  “I can’t believe I slept in. How long have you guys been up?”

  “About an hour. I heard Danny in the bathroom and thought I’d sneak out to check on him and let you sleep.”

  Jessie stepped around Jack and pulled him out of direct sight of Danny. She leaned up and kissed him. “Thanks,” she said before he pulled her down for a more satisfying kiss.

  When he let her go, she smiled and felt her cheeks warm. Jessie stared into the warmth of his gaze, unable to pull away. What is he thinking? She looked a mess. Hair brushed by her pillow, sleep in her eyes, but still he smiled at her as if she were dressed for the ball.

  “You’re beautiful,” he told her softly.

  “I’m a mess,” she corrected. But the fact he saw through her messy state first thing in the morning was a huge plus.

  He brushed his hand against the side of her face and stared directly into her eyes.

  “Marry me.”

  At first, Jessie thought she’d imagined his words. When Jack kept staring at her, a slight grin on his face, she knew she’d heard him correctly.

  “W-what did you say?”

  He laughed and wrapped a hand around her waist. “I said, marry me.”

  No, not this. Not now.

  The air in her lungs started to push through with difficulty, and not in a good way. From the expression on Jack’s face, she knew her face showed her confusion.

  Her smile fell, and her hands began to shake. Jessie’s head started to shake. “Jack,” she said breathlessly.

  “I want this, Jessie. You, me. Danny. I know you have reservations—”

  She pushed out of his arms. “No. Don’t do this. Please.” Dammit. He knew how she felt about dreamers and forever.

  Jessie glanced around the corner and saw that Danny had laid his head on a pillow. She grasped Jack’s hand and pulled him into her bedroom. There, she shut the door behind them and spoke in a hoarse whisper. “Why are you doing this? You know I can’t marry you.”

  Jack’s smile started to fade. The reality that she was turning him down started to sink in. “Because I’m not rich?”

  “N-No.” She spun away from him, away from the cold that started to penetrate his eyes. “I care for you. Really. Last night was amazing…”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “Think about it, Jack. We get married, you move in here. Then the newness wears off and the bills are making us snap at each other. Or you remember how much you love Texas, but then realize you can’t afford to move back there. You’ll want to run off and I’ll be here, holding on.” She was rambling. Barely making sense. Why did he have to do this to them? Couldn’t they just enjoy a physical relationship? Why make promises he’d want to break later on down the road?

  “That’s not going to happen.” He reached for her arm and she pulled away.

  “It will. You need to find someone who can run off with you to make your dreams come true. You don’t need me and a kid holding you back.” And he’d regret her and Danny before a year was out. Dreamers hated it when reality slapped them in the ass.

  “What if I told you I had money?”

  “Stop it! Just stop!” She hated this. Hated that she felt her heart breaking after it was so full of life only minutes before. “We’re friends, Jack. I don’t want to regret last night, because for a moment there I thought maybe we could be ‘friends with benefits’ or something stupid like that. Obviously that’s not the case.” She still saw hope in his eyes, and Jessie knew she needed to say something to get him to find his forever with someone else. “It was just sex, Jack.”

  “That’s all it was to you?” he asked harshly. His tone made her want to weep.

  Her lip quivered and tears stung her eyes. “Yes.” She did her best to sound convincing. When he continued to stare at her, she spun away. “I think you should go.”

  I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry.

  “Jessie?”

  “Just go.” She didn’t turn around. She couldn’t. If he saw the pain in her eyes, he’d know he meant something to her and keep trying.

  Jessie held her breath until she heard him slip from the room. Then she sank to her bed because her legs simply couldn’t hold her up any longer. The sound of her apartment door opening and closing prompted the flood of tears she’d been holding back.

  Why? Why couldn’t he be happy with what they had?

  Regret was too small a word for the waterfall of pain that saturated her.

  She was right in cutting him loose. He would have grown to hate her for tying him down.

  But lord, it hurt.

  Like she’d let go of something that only came around once in a lifetime.

  Jack held back a strong urge to swipe the Christmas tree in the living room of his suite out the window.

  The drink in his hand wasn’t numbing him nearly enough. With every hour, his mind vacillated more and more between anger and depression. He blamed himself for blurting out his proposal. If he could have waited, had a ring and done it the right way…

  But no. Impulsive Jack jumped right into happily ever after, and now Jessie was out of his reach.

  It would be funny if he weren’t so miserable. Jessie had denied him marriage because she thought he was a broke loser with nothing to offer.

  How friggin’ ironic is that?

  Considering he’d called the damn car dealer that was working on her broken-down piece of crap and had all but given them a blank check.

  He drove away from her apartment thinking he could go back to what they were. Friends.

  There was no going back, and moving forward wasn’t an option. Damn. He and Jessie couldn’t even stand still.

  His head fell into his hands.

  The phone in his room rang, startling him. When he stood to answer it, the room started to spin.

  Jack glanced at the clock on his wall. It was six in the evening, and he still wore the clothes he’d tossed on in the middle of the night to rush Danny to the hospital.

  The phone kept ringing.

  “I’m coming,” he yelled at the phone. Clicking on to the call, Jack nearly dropped the phone before he brought it up to his ear. “What?”

  “Well, aren’t you just a ray of sunshine?” a female voice purred over the line.

  “Katie?”

  “Jesus, Jack, it’s what…six there? Isn’t it early for you to be partying?”

  Jack sat before he fell. “You don’t hold the rights to self-indulgence.” Besides, he’d had a bad day.

  “First, I hear you’re not coming home for Christmas, now you’re wasted in the middle of the day.”

  “I-It isn’t the middle of the day.”

  “Blurred speech takes some time to achieve, Jacko. What the hell is wrong with you?”

  Women! “Nothing. I’m fine.” Drunk, but fine. As long as he sat perfectly still, the room only swayed when he inhaled…or exhaled.

  Katie’s uppity voice dropped. “Who is she?”

  Damn woman. “I’m hanging up now.”

  “Jack. Don’t you dare. I’ll be the—”

  He lifted the phone in front of his eyes and hit the End button…twice.

  Then, because the bedroom wa
s too far away, Jack sat back and closed his eyes.

  The next twenty-four hours were a blur for Jessie. Danny’s fever rose and fell, but by nightfall, she thought she’d seen the worst of his symptoms. By tomorrow morning, he’d be hard to hold down.

  Danny asked about Jack too many times to count.

  Where was he?

  Was he coming back?

  Why did he leave?

  Would they be seeing him for Christmas?

  With every question, another nail was jammed into the coffin she’d made of her life. Monica was due back that night, and Jessie could hardly wait for her sister to get home so she could cry on her shoulder and hear what a fool she’d been.

  Without a doubt, Monica would be calling her all kinds of stupid for saying no.

  They would argue. Jessie would put into words why she had to cut Jack loose, and Monica would try to change her mind.

  But Jessie was older. She knew better.

  Her phone rang. Jessie’s heart leapt in her throat. What if it was Jack?

  Jessie waited for the answering machine to pick up.

  “This call is for Jessica Mann. Ms. Mann, this is Phil Gravis over at Upland Toyota…”

  Her car. She scrambled to pick up the phone. “Hello?”

  “Ms. Mann?”

  “Yes, this is her. Sorry, I was in the other room,” she lied. “Didn’t hear the phone.” Lie number two.

  “Not a problem. Ummm, about your car.”

  Oh, please…no more bad news. She really couldn’t take it. “Yes?”

  “We had a slight mishap here in the garage.”

  “Mishap?” That couldn’t be good.

  “A fire, actually.”

  Her car. Bad as it was, was only insurance for the other guy. Dammit, the sky was falling and Jessie was standing dead center of the funnel cloud.

  “A fire?”

  “Yes. A fire mishap. Don’t worry, your car is—”

  “Fine? My car is fine?”

  Mr. Gravis laughed. “Your car is a total loss.”

  Cue lightning, funnel clouds, and Dorothy’s house flying through the air. “That’s not funny.”

  “Well, the car was in need of a lot of work.” His voice was flat.

  “It’s my only transportation.” Her voice started to rise, panic started to set in.

  “Oh, Ms. Mann, please…it’s OK. We here at Toyota are completely responsible and want to invite you over to pick out a replacement vehicle.”

  “A replacement vehicle?” She was back to parroting his words.

  “Let me start over. I can tell you’re upset.”

  Understatement of the year.

  “There was a fire, your car is a total loss, but we are offering you a brand-new car in its place. Unless you have some kind of emotional attachment to the early-model Celica, this will turn out to be a good thing for you.”

  Thank goodness she was sitting, because when his words sunk in, Jessie felt light-headed.

  “A new car to replace my broken-down piece of liability?” Her car had probably caused the fire.

  “That’s right. When would be a good day for you to come in?”

  This wasn’t happening. She was having a dream and she really needed to wake up.

  “Ms. Mann?”

  She wasn’t waking up. “Yes?”

  “Can you come in tomorrow?”

  “Tomorrow?” She stared at the wall across the room.

  “Yes.”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes, you can come in tomorrow?”

  Jessie slowly started to nod. “Yes, I can come in tomorrow.” The fog started to lift. “Is nine too early?”

  “Nine would be great. Just ask for me.” He sounded amused.

  “This isn’t a joke, is it, Mr. Gravis? Because I’ve had a couple of really shitty days, and I can’t take a practical joke right now.”

  He laughed. “It’s not a joke, Ms. Mann. Be thinking about what kind of car you’d like to drive. Four doors, two doors, truck, crossover, or maybe you’d like a hybrid? Your choice.”

  She thought for a moment about Christmas, Danny, the medical bills that would be coming in. “Can I take the money and pick out a used car?”

  “Sorry. I was given specific instructions to offer you any new car we had on the lot.”

  “Instructions?” The parrot was back.

  He hesitated, coughed, and then said, “From my boss.”

  “Oh, OK. That sounded ungrateful of me. I’m very grateful. Really.” She was. It wasn’t the new bike Danny wanted, but a new car might make up for it a little. The money she’d save on repairs would help her afford more for her son in the long run. “I’ll see you at nine.”

  They hung up just as the door to the apartment opened.

  Monica stepped inside, still bundled in a parka.

  The sight of her sister reminded Jessie of Jack.

  Monica’s eyes caught hers. She opened her mouth to say something, and then her smile fell. “What happened?”

  Tears popped up out of nowhere. “I slept with Jack. He asked me to marry him. I said no. He left and hasn’t called. I think I may have made a huge mistake.”

  Monica dropped her bags at the door and walked to Jessie’s side. “Oh, Jessie.”

  Her sister’s arms around her brought on a new flood of tears.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Monica pushed Jessie onto the sofa and let her sob.

  “It’s OK,” Monica cooed. “I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

  No! It was worse.

  As her tears started to dry up, the words started tumbling from her mouth. “Danny spiked a fever night before last. I called Jack.” Just saying his name brought a physical pain to her chest.

  Monica reached over, grabbed a tissue from a box, and handed it to her.

  “Thanks.”

  “Jack gave you a ride to the doctor?”

  Jessie nodded. “Yeah. Danny’s fever was so high. I got scared.”

  Monica glanced toward the hall. “Is he OK?”

  “The doctor prescribed an antibiotic. He’s sleeping now.”

  Jessie grasped a pillow from the sofa and hugged it as she talked. “Jack insisted on staying the night. In case we needed to go back to the hospital.”

  “Sounds reasonable. How did the sleeping together fall into place?”

  She squeezed her eyes shut. “I caved. I couldn’t hold off anymore…ya know?”

  Mo smiled and lifted her eyebrows. “I would have given in sooner than you. You guys have been sniffing around this attraction since you met.”

  Jessie’s eyes filled with a new pool of tears. “It was w-wonderful. P-perfect,” she stuttered. “Everything I ever wanted.” The tears wouldn’t stop. Monica handed her fresh tissues and waited for the sobs to calm again.

  “Then what happened?”

  “Everything was…”

  “Perfect, yeah, I get that,” Monica said. “When did he ask you to marry him?”

  “Out of the blue. The next morning. He helped Danny with breakfast, kissed me, then wham. He asked me to marry him.” Even now, the memory shocked her.

  “I take it you weren’t happy.”

  “I was shocked. I mean, we’d only just slept together. Who goes from sleeping together to marriage overnight?”

  “Jack does…apparently.”

  “But he knows more than anyone that I wouldn’t jump on board the marital train like that. I got scared, Mo.”

  Monica curled her knee up on the couch. “You told him no?”

  “I told him he’d regret marrying me.”

  “Regret?”

  “Yeah, sooner or later he’d realize that marrying a woman with a child would be a burden and he’d hate the fact that we’d hold him back. He has so many ambitions, Mo. Even more than I do.” As she said the words again, she felt some of her pride returning.

  “So your saying no has less to do with his lack of money and more to do with what you want for him.” Monica gave her a half
smile.

  “Of course. He might think he’d be happy married to me. But he wouldn’t. I have a ton of baggage. Becoming an instant dad might sound novel, but it’s a job. I can’t chance Danny thinking he finally has a father, only to have Jack up and leave.” Danny would just have to wait a little longer for a positive male figure to enter his life.

  Dammit.

  “Jack isn’t like our father, Jessie.”

  “I know that,” she said, tapping her head. “In here. But in here,” she tapped her chest, “I can’t risk it.”

  Monica took her hand and squeezed. “If you really feel that way, then why are you so upset and torn?”

  “Because the thought of never seeing him again hurts. The pain is so deep, and the air is so thick I can’t breathe. What if I’m wrong? What if we could work it out? He stormed out of here so fast. I’ve never seen him so angry.” She brushed away a tear and forced the rest back.

  “He asked you to marry him and you said no. He’s probably hurt, too.”

  Jessie’s lip quivered. “I know.”

  “Do you love him?” Monica whispered.

  Jessie drew in a sharp breath. “I can’t, Mo. I can’t.” But God help her, she did.

  “You know what I think?” Monica tapped her hands and smiled. “I think if he really wants you, loves you, he’ll be back.”

  Jessie started to shake her head.

  “And if he doesn’t love you, he won’t be back. And if that’s the case, then you made the right decision.”

  “You’re right.” Thank God her sister was there to talk reason into her.

  “I’m right. But it still hurts.”

  “It does.”

  When Monica hugged her again, the last of the day’s tears fell.

  Jack’s eyes fluttered open as lightning attacked his brain. With his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth and the taste and smell of stale whiskey coating his lips, he thought maybe he had woken in hell.

  “So, you decided to wake up?” The unsympathetic voice of his sister forced his gaze across the room.

  Katie lounged in a chair opposite him. Her slim legs poked out from under a tight skirt while her high-heeled foot tapped against thin air.

  Maybe he was still asleep. Jack closed his eyes and ignored the pain exploding in his head.

  “Oh, no you don’t, Jacko. I’ve been watching you sleep for too many hours to let you fall back under again.”