Emmett was watching her closely. He’d probably also noticed the excitement Elizabeth was trying—and failing—to conceal in her voice.
“Definitely!” Kristy said. “He said so himself.”
“Hmmm,” Elizabeth said. She wanted to say yes—so, so bad. “The only thing is, I’m taking two classes that start soon, and then I’ve got my job at the Sled Dog. I could probably cut back my bartending hours a little bit if I had to.”
“I’m sure they can work around whatever schedule limitations you have,” Kristy said. “Rob’s around all the time—it’s just that he needs to work in the barn with the horses. So when you’re available, he’d be freed up to do that. You see?”
“It sounds great,” Elizabeth said. “Can you hold on a minute?” She covered the phone and whispered to Emmett, “There’s a caregiving position available that I could do around my schedule at the Sled Dog, and it would come with housing, my own little cabin. Plus, I’d be paid, and we can put the money toward repairs. What do you think?”
“You should do it,” Emmett said immediately. “I’ll work on the renovations with Bruce and work on getting the house listed for sale.”
“And I’ll still pick up Dad when he gets released.”
“If it fits with your schedule,” Emmett said. “Otherwise, I can get him.”
Elizabeth’s heart was buoyed by the idea of being able to slip so easily into a new job, a new living situation—and hopefully a new chance with Jack. “You’re sure?”
“Definitely,” Emmett said. “We’re moving forward, remember? This is how you do that.”
He was right.
“Kristy?” she said into the phone. “I’ll do it if you’re sure it’s okay with Jack.”
“Trust me,” Kristy said. “It’s definitely okay with Jack.”
16
“What the hell is she doing here?”
Jack stood by the big window in the living room in his fire department-issue lounge pants and a long-sleeved wool base layer, having just woken from a much-needed nap.
He’d slept until midday, but he’d gotten next to no sleep on duty the night before. Just past midnight, there had been an electrical fire in an old vacant building on the edge of downtown. The building was so old and decrepit it should have been demolished long ago, but because it had some historic value and because Gordon Begay, the man who owned the building, was a loud-mouthed pain in the ass, they’d worked to salvage what they could without risking the lives of the firefighters. When Jack had gotten off shift, he’d begged off his weekly breakfast with Doc Bauer and instead come directly home, showered, and immediately fallen into bed.
Four hours later, he’d woken to her.
Elizabeth.
Unloading what looked like—yes, they definitely were—two suitcases from the back of her newly-repaired Bronco and carrying them into Cabin Three, the cabin closest to the main house. Kristy followed behind her, lugging a laundry basket filled with an assortment of shoes and boots. Trotting behind was Rugby, looking both cute and officious in a plaid jacket.
Jack hurried back to his bedroom and scrambled to get dressed, throwing on a clean pair of jeans. He did a quick brush of his teeth, ran his fingers through his thick dark hair, and grimaced at himself in the mirror. He wasn’t sure what was going on but knew it would get in the way of his mission to ignore Elizabeth Armstrong.
He realized it probably had to do with Charlene’s need for a caregiver. Kristy had asked if she could move someone into one of the cabins, but it hadn’t occurred to Jack that it might be Elizabeth. He never would have agreed, not because he thought Elizabeth was a poor choice but because he didn’t think he could withstand the temptation of having her so close. Staying in his cabin, living and working and sleeping … which made him wonder what she wore to bed. Jack shook his head to try to get rid of the delicious mental image of Elizabeth naked in his bed.
Truth be told, he’d given lots of consideration to what she’d be like in bed—what he wanted her to be like in bed.
Whenever he had short relationships, usually when he was traveling, sex was matter-of-fact and physical. There always seemed to be a recognition that time was short and bodies were made to intermingle. No further meaning was given to it other than the pleasant meeting of a physical need between two consenting adults.
In his imaginings of Elizabeth, though, sex would be more of a dance, complete with longing smiles, enticing gestures, and a gentle coming together. While he’d sensed a certain shyness on her part, his encounter with her in the stockroom of the Sled Dog indicated she wouldn’t be shy in bed. Instead, she’d be confident. Eager to please. Maybe even insatiable. She might talk dirty, and when she did, it wouldn’t sound porn-star corny.
She’d also be loving, which is what he knew he’d been missing all these years—the affection of a woman who wanted to be with him for a long time, maybe even forever. A woman who wanted his whole heart and would give hers to him in return.
Don’t even think it, he lectured himself. Her father is Nate Armstrong.
The thought was cold water dashed over his frankly unacceptable pining for this woman.
If she ever finds out that you knew her father was wrongly accused and did nothing to help clear his name, she’ll hate you.
That was enough to motivate Jack to pull his head out of the clouds. He put on his parka and boots and headed outside to get an explanation for what was going on. The women were inside the cabin by then, so Jack knocked.
Elizabeth threw open the door, looking sexier than hell in a pair of tight jeans, a black studded biker-chick belt, black biker boots, and a black lace camisole under an unbuttoned soft flannel shirt. He could see the barest edge of her taut stomach where the lace camisole ended. The flash of desire grew into a stronger flame as he remembered that night at the Sled Dog, the feel of her warm, smooth skin beneath his hands, her perfect small pink nipples, the delicacy of her petite body and the surprising strength it contained.
So that little peek of skin beneath her shirt was not helping his resolve.
What made things worse was that Elizabeth noticed the movement of his glance up and down her body, because he saw the heat in her own eyes in response, and she blushed the most adorable blush he’d ever seen. She just stood before him, holding open the door and letting all the cold air in.
Behind her, Rugby barked once and wagged his tail.
“May I come in?” he asked, not meaning to sound so formal. He didn’t wait for her reply, just stepped inside and closed the door behind him.
Elizabeth stepped back, her arresting blue eyes locked on his. “I guess we’re going to be neighbors,” she said, her smile uncertain.
Jack looked to Kristy. “She’s the caretaker you mentioned?”
“Oh!” Elizabeth covered her mouth with her hand as she realized Jack hadn’t known about her moving into one of his cabins.
“Yep,” Kristy said brightly. “She’s starting her nursing classes and needs the experience, so I figured she’s perfect. Isn’t it great?”
“Great,” Jack said, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. How was he supposed to forget about Elizabeth when she was staying mere yards away?
“Anywho, I’m gonna head out,” Kristy said. “Elizabeth, Charlene gets home from the hospital tomorrow.”
“I’ll be ready,” Elizabeth said, and her eagerness made Jack want to hold her close.
“Talk to you later, Kristy,” Jack said, giving his sole employee a disapproving look, because as much as his heart swooned to see Elizabeth there, looking a hell of a lot like she was settling in, it wasn’t good to have her so temptingly close. Not good at all. Not when she was forbidden to him, which she most definitely was.
After Kristy left, it was just the two of them in the intimate space of the well-appointed cabin. Elizabeth stood unmoving, watching him intently.
Jack tried to gain his composure as he took off his coat and hung it on the coat rack, but he couldn’t take his eyes off
her, either. His imagination was working double-time as he fantasized about grabbing her by the front of her tough-girl belt and hauling her close. After a deep, deep kiss, he’d unbuckle it and unzip her skintight jeans. She’d wiggle out of them eagerly and throw her arms around his neck. He’d lift her up; she’d wind her legs around his waist. She was so light. Too damned scrawny and slight. He wanted to fatten her up, but the idea of cupping her bony ass was undeniably hot. He’d press her into him, and whatever panties she was wearing wouldn’t stay on long. He’d make sure of that.
Elizabeth.
Beautiful Elizabeth.
He’d carry her over to the bed, lay her down, and spread her legs. He’d work his way up the inside of her thighs and make her shiver. He’d take his time, and work her lust into a frenzy. He imagined how when his tongue reached its final destination, she’d be dripping with desire. He’d taste her juices, and she’d cry out as she came.
Only then would he step back and unbuckle his own belt. Elizabeth’s eyes would widen when his throbbing cock burst free. Take me now, Jack, she’d say, thrusting towards him, inviting him inside. But he’d fully undress so she could touch him all over with her dainty, confident hands. He was sensitive to touch, and he knew that hers would drive him nearly insane.
Jack, take me now, she’d say again, and it would be an order this time, and so he would. And afterward, he’d pull her close and make her feel loved.
Because she was. He barely knew the woman, but he knew what love felt like, and it felt like this.
Which was a problem.
He pushed away all thought of how much he wanted her.
“So you’re here to help Charlene?” he asked. Kristy had already told him that, but he didn’t know what else to say.
“Kristy said she’d talked to you!” Elizabeth looked like she wanted to cry. “I never would have come otherwise! I swear I’m not throwing myself at you, Jack—she said she’d talked with you, and that you definitely wanted me here.”
If you only knew how badly I want you …
Jack shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. “Listen, I feel like I should explain.”
“You don’t need to,” Elizabeth said, looking crestfallen. “Believe me, I’m used to your reaction.”
“No, it’s got nothing to do with—here, have a seat.”
There was a little two-person table by the window, and they took seats there. Jack stopped to reach down and pet Rugby. The dog licked his hand once and then curled up on the rug.
The reflection of the sun off the fresh snow outside the window cast Elizabeth’s face into stark, angelic lines. Jack wanted to take her hand in his, to kiss it, to lay his head in her lap, to show her with gestures things he’d never be able to tell her with words. But instead, he looked into her gorgeous river-blue eyes and felt his heart breaking.
His voice came out as gruff. “Clearly, there’s something between us.” He fumbled to define it. “Some chemistry, some …”
Elizabeth’s bow-shaped mouth turned up with the smallest of smiles, and she tucked her hair behind her ear. He wanted to reach out and do it for her, and then to trace his hand down her soft cheek. To caress her, to ...
“Go on,” she said.
“I just … when I’m with you, I feel …” He grimaced as words failed him. “I can’t explain. It’s disconcerting.”
Elizabeth leaned forward across the table, put her hands on his thighs, and kissed him. It was so gentle, and it happened so fast that he couldn’t think. He could only feel, and he could only return her kiss with tender kisses of his own. Soon, her hand was on his cheek, stroking the two-day growth of beard he hadn’t yet shaved. He pulled her onto his lap, snuck his hands under her flannel shirt, and the kisses got deeper. All the things he couldn’t articulate with words seemed to come through just fine in his kisses.
“Maybe what’s between us is written in the stars, Jack,” she said when they separated. “I’m surprised you haven’t figured that out yet.”
He had that sense, too—that theirs could be one of the great love stories if given the chance.
Cut this right the hell off, he told himself. You ruined her family, ruined her father, ruined her childhood. Nip this right in the bud before you ruin the rest of her life, too.
It was damn hard to do with her in his lap, her breasts rising and falling as she breathed, smelling of fresh mint and sugarplum and everything good.
Cradling her in his arms, Jack stood and carefully set her down.
“Elizabeth, it can never work between us.” He hated saying it. Hated seeing the suddenly hollow look in her eyes as she pulled her shirt around herself. He had to give her at least a somewhat valid reason for why they couldn’t be together—she deserved that much. “I got a bit of a talking-to at work the other day for how I handled your accident. For the first time in my career, I had my judgment questioned by my superior. It felt awful, and I can’t have it happen again. To start seeing you—especially this soon, right after the incident—it could affect my job. My career.”
Her eyes had widened. “Oh, no. I didn’t mean for you to get in trouble because of me, Jack. I’m so sorry. And I understand, believe me. I’d never want you to risk your reputation because of me. Trust me, when your name’s no good, it makes everything a lot harder.”
He felt an overwhelming ache at her response. Not only at the idea of having to let her go before he even had her, but because her family reputation had been ruined, at least in part, by his father’s actions and his own inaction.
“But do you mind if I stay?” she asked, her voice tentative as if she was an imposition. “With my dad coming home soon, my house is kind of unlivable with renovations. Plus, next week I’m starting the pre-req classes for a nursing degree, and helping Charlene would be great experience for me, which I really need.”
He was unexpectedly touched at the idea of her being a nurse like his mom had been. He remembered many a childhood illness in which his mom’s loving attention made all the difference to his spirits. Good nurses made everything better.
“Of course you can stay,” he said.
She smiled. “Rugby, too?”
“Rugby, too.”
“Maybe we can even … you know … be friends or something?” she said.
Lovers, he thought, knowing it couldn’t happen. Let’s be lovers, Elizabeth. Let’s show the world how it’s done.
“Friends,” he said.
“But no benefits.” She wagged her finger teasingly, her face strict but her eyes sparkling. “Thank you so much. We’re selling our house, so I needed to find a new place to live, anyway. When Kristy called, it was a big relief.”
“You’re selling your house? I didn’t know that.”
“We are,” she said. “Your dad’s actually helping us with that. He’s helping us fix it up, too. Said he needed something to do since he’s not helping Josh with the sled dogs anymore.”
Jack felt more than the familiar bubble of anger that cropped up whenever his dad was mentioned. This time, he felt pure rage.
“Let me guess,” he said. “It was my dad’s idea for you to sell the house, and he probably also convinced you to sell it fast.”
He saw he was right by how Elizabeth thought back and nodded.
“The thing is,” she said, “my dad’s not going to have an easy time of it when he gets released if he comes back to Golden Falls.” She picked up Rugby and nuzzled her face into his fur. “But my dad’s stubborn, so Emmett and I had to take the decision into our own hands. We want him to move to Anchorage with Emmett and start a new life there.”
“And I’ll bet that was all my dad’s idea.”
So this is how he’s going to try and handle it, Jack thought. He’s going to try to banish Nate. Take away his hometown when he’s already taken so much.
“So?” Elizabeth said. “As long as it’s a good idea, it shouldn’t matter where it came from. Am I missing something?”
Yes, you are, Elizabeth.
You’re missing a hell of a lot. Like why my dad is involving himself at all.
Sure, part of him wished Nate never came back, either, but it was the cowardly part. Nate’s continuing absence would sure make things easier—but it wouldn’t make them right. It wouldn’t absolve Jack of his sin of omission, and it wouldn’t let him be with Elizabeth in the desperate way he wanted to be—not with the secret that would remain between them.
Jack went to the window and took in the view. It was nice here. Safe. Quiet. Peaceful. If Elizabeth stayed in the cabin, she’d have a chance to unwind for probably the first time in her life. He could fatten her up with hearty stew, and maybe they could go horseback riding together.
“You’re okay with your dad and brother moving away?” he asked.
“I’m more than okay with it,” she said, joining him to look out the window, close but not touching him. “I’m relieved. I was hardly letting myself think how much I didn’t want to deal with my dad’s return—and now I don’t have to. It’s completely selfish, I know—but sometimes we have to be selfish, don’t we?”
“Sometimes,” Jack said.
He decided to let it go. If Nate moving to Anchorage was best for Elizabeth, if that’s what she wanted, then he wouldn’t do anything to get in the way.
He just had to ignore the nagging feeling that he was being selfish, too, because not only could his dad’s efforts help keep their shameful secret protected, but it would keep Elizabeth nearby, too.
In Golden Falls.
In his cabin.
In his life.
Which, despite everything he’d ever said to the contrary, he very much wanted.
17
The next day, Elizabeth walked down the packed-snow trail that led from Jack’s Caribou Vacation Cabins to Pickens Stables next door. She brought her anatomy textbook with her, hoping to get a head start on reading for her upcoming class, and a box of chocolate cupcake tea that she intended to be a pick-me-up for Charlene.
As she walked over, her teeth chattered, more from nervousness than cold. She’d met Charlene Pickens just the one brief time, and because it had entailed Elizabeth falling on her ass in the snow, it hadn’t been the most graceful of introductions. Because of her last name, it was inevitable, too, that questions would come up about Nate, and that opinions would be given. At this point, she was almost numb to it. It was just something to be gotten through, but it was something to which she never looked forward.
From The Ashes (Golden Falls Fire Book 3) Page 12
