"I will be."
Nick frowned. He tipped his head toward Jeremy. "What are you doing with this guy?"
"He's a friend."
"Really? Since when?"
"Since I went to L.A. looking for Serena."
"I'm Serena's neighbor," Jeremy offered. He extended a hand to Nick, who ignored it. Jeremy shrugged and dropped his hand to his side.
"Nick, don't be such a jerk," Lisa said. "He's just worried about his sister," she told Jeremy.
"I'm worried about your sister, too." Jeremy's glance moved from Maggie to Nick. "I wish I could say I'd heard a lot about you, but I can't."
"Likewise," Nick replied tersely. "And if you've been messing with Maggie--"
"Don't yell at him, Nick." Maggie straightened up. "He only tried to help me."
"By doing what, taking you on a wild-goose chase?"
"No, by listening to me and being there and not telling me I was crazy."
"You should have talked to your family.”
"I tried. You told me I needed to see a shrink." She sighed, "Although you were right." She turned to Lisa. "Keith is really dead."
"I know, honey."
"There was no mystery at all. The money was for my ring. He was leaving for L.A. that weekend. And our anniversary would have been a week later."
Lisa hugged her, and she couldn't help but cling for just a moment. She felt like the rug had been pulled out from under her for the second time in less than a year.
"It will be okay," Lisa murmured. She pulled back and gazed into Maggie's eyes. "You won't have to go through anything else alone, Maggie. I'll be there for you, whatever you need, whenever you need it."
"And so will I," Nick said.
Maggie smiled at their somber faces. "I didn't go nuts because you two weren't around, although I am happy to hear you'll be around a little more often in the future. It was me, all me. I created this in my mind. But I'm okay now."
"Are you ready to go home?" Lisa asked. "The children have missed you."
"Children?" Jeremy's sharp question drew her immediate attention.
She looked into his eyes and saw a mix of anger and pain. "Yes, I have three children. Roxy is thirteen. Dylan is eight, and Mary Bea is five. I have a dog, too. Her name is Sally. She likes to bring dead animals into the house. I'm a mom, Jeremy. A single mom with a house in the suburbs, a station wagon, and a lot of baggage."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want to ruin the fantasy,"' Maggie said in a whisper. She walked over to him and kissed him on the lips. "I'll never forget you."
"This is it? The end?"
"Do you think you could write a better one?"
"Hell, yes." He grabbed her by the shoulders. "You can't just walk out on me."
"Then walk out on me, Jeremy."
"No! Maggie..." He twisted a strand of hair through his fingers. "Last night..."
His husky words tore apart what little was left of her heart. She felt as if she had betrayed not only Keith but also Jeremy.
"Last night was incredible," she said, cupping his face with her hands. "But I have to go back to reality, to my kids. They need me. And I need them. It will be okay now, because I know the truth. I don't have any more questions. I'll find a way to live without Keith, and..." She stroked the side of Jeremy's face, feeling the tears well up behind her eyes once again. "And somehow I'll find a way to live without you, too."
"You don't have to."
"I do. I really do."
She pulled away from him, struggling to maintain the little control she had left. She turned to Nick. "Can I have a ride home?"
He nodded. "Of course you can. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."
"You were there. You just weren't the one I wanted." Maggie turned one last time to Jeremy. "Good-bye. Take care of yourself."
"You, too."
"Let's go home," Maggie said. "Let's all go home."
Chapter Twenty-Five
"There's no place like home," Lisa whispered as she unlocked the door to her condo and walked inside. It was Thursday afternoon, and she'd been gone almost a week. Six days away should not have changed her life, but they had, and her oasis of comfort and security suddenly seemed strange and unsettled.
The wallpaper she'd lovingly put up, the couch she'd paid bundles of money for, the pictures she'd chosen so carefully—it was all an illusion, a pretense of a normal life. But her life here in L.A. had never been normal or honest. She'd denied her past, her husband, her child, her mother and her friends. Now her condo didn't seem calm and cool and unfettered by emotion—it just felt lonely and empty.
She dropped her overnight case on the floor and sat down on the couch, closing her eyes for one long, restful minute. As soon as she did, she was once again swept back to the day before. After driving Maggie home, the evening had been spent with family, and for a few hours Lisa had enjoyed being part of it all again. But when the kids and Maggie went to bed and her mother, aunt and in-laws finally went home, it was just her and Nick.
For several long minutes they'd stood in Maggie's living room just staring at each other. Then she'd finally found the strength to tell Nick she would be going home the next day.
His gaze had turned hard, bitter, angry, but it wasn't the anger that had bothered her the most, it was the disappointment. She'd wanted to make it go away, but there were no words. Apparently, he had no words either, because the silence had gone on and on. Finally, he'd just walked to the door and slammed it behind him. She'd run to the window to see if he looked back, but he didn't. He got into his car and drove away, and she was reminded that she'd once done exactly the same thing to him.
A wave of pain ran through her. Opening her eyes, she drew in a deep breath and tried to focus on the present. She'd made the right decision in leaving. She was home where she belonged, and her reunion with Nick was over.
Oh, damn. Her eyes filled with tears, and her stomach clenched into a familiar knot. She didn't want to miss Nick. Not now, not so soon. But making love to him had brought him alive in every possible way. She could still taste his lips, feel his hands on her body, smell his cologne, hear the timbre in his voice when he said her name.
God!
She pressed her fingers to her temples. It would pass, she told herself. She would forget him—the way she'd done before.
Liar. Her own conscience mocked her, and she tried not to listen, but the word ran around and around in her head. She'd never really forgotten Nick; she'd just locked him away and now he was free to torture her again with memories of loving him, memories that were all too recent.
Getting up, she walked over to the blinking red light on her answering machine and hit Play. It was time to get back to reality. There were three messages from Raymond on the machine, each one asking her to come to the office as soon as she got back, each one more impatient than the last. How could she blame him? She'd let him down. She'd let Nick down. She'd let everybody down. Why? Because she was a coward.
Moving toward the window, she gazed out at the sprawling city view, feeling more alone than she had in a long time. Her gaze moved to the nearby trees, searching for a very familiar bird, but the branches were empty.
"Fool," she whispered to herself. "There is no magic in life. Go to work. Forget him. You did it once. You can do it again."
* * *
Lisa reported to work at eight o'clock on Friday morning, still having no idea what she would say to Raymond. Fortunately, he was away at a meeting most of the day, so she closeted herself in her office and tried to work. She didn't get far. Nothing seemed to work any more. It was clear from her brief conversations with co-workers that Paul was handling the Nature Brand account, and while she wanted to drum up some healthy indignation about it, she couldn't find the energy. She couldn't seem to care—about any of it. Her mind kept driving back to San Diego, to the people she'd left behind, to the people who'd reminded her of the woman she'd once been, of the life she once led.
She'd
thought over the past eight years that she'd found a new life, a new normal. But it didn't seem to fit anymore. No one else had changed, but she had.
The office staff dwindled by six, but she lingered behind, knowing that she needed to speak to Raymond before another day passed. He returned around seven, walking into her office with a somewhat wary smile. "Elisabeth. Finally." She got up from her desk, accepting his kiss on the cheek with a shaky smile.
He stood back, his gaze growing serious. "It's over, isn't it?"
She sucked in a deep breath. "Yes. I'm sorry."
He nodded. "I am, too."
"I wasn't being honest with you, Raymond. And I'm not just talking about my secretive past. I wasn't being the real me. When my daughter died, I lost myself. I put a suit of armor on and went from Lisa to Elisabeth and I thought I could be happy living a completely different life, and for a long time I was."
"But going home changed that."
"It did," she admitted.
"Why did you come back?"
His question took her by surprise. "I—I came back to work. We can still work together, can't we?"
"Can we?" he challenged.
"Well, I guess if it's too uncomfortable to have your ex-fiancé--"
"It's not about that," he said, cutting her off. "I've had a few epiphanies myself in the last few days, and I don't think we're right for each other. I also don't think you're right for this company."
"That sounds like sour grapes," she said, feeling a rush of anger. "I've devoted myself to this company. I've worked hard for you, and I'm good, dammit."
"You are good, very creative, but you don't take risks. You play it safe, and we've gotten a lot of accounts that way. But I want to go big, Elisabeth. And I don't think you have the fight in you. I think too many times you take the easy way out."
His words shocked her, because he'd never spoken to her so frankly, so critically, and because his words had a ring of truth to them.
"Even now," he continued. "Why did you really come back here? You've already admitted you don't love me. Although, I should have figured that out when you couldn't get the invitations in the mail, but like you, I wanted to pretend it was going to happen. Because you seemed right. You seemed like the woman I was looking for. But we were both pretending. I thought you'd make me feel young, but in truth, you just made me feel old."
"I didn't realize..."
"It wasn't your fault. It was mine," he said with a small smile. "But I've stopped lying to myself, and you should do the same. I want employees who are willing to put their whole heart into this company. And I think your heart is in San Diego—maybe with your ex-husband. Take a few days, Elisabeth. Think about what you really want, and if it's this job, it's yours." He walked to the door, pausing. "If it's not, I wish you the best. You deserve to be happy. You also deserve to be you—maybe that's Lisa and not Elisabeth.”
* * *
Sunday morning Maggie carried a load of laundry out of the laundry room and headed toward the stairs. It was her second load that morning, and she was tired. Since returning from Santa Barbara, she'd fallen back into motherhood with a vengeance. Her adventure already seemed like a memory, a distant but beautiful memory.
She still couldn't believe Mary Bea had gone through surgery while she'd been away. That guilt would stay with her for a very long time, although Mary Bea didn't seem to hold it against her. In fact, the children had thrived with Lisa and Nick. They'd talked endlessly about their aunt and uncle, as well as their grandparents and Silvia and Carmela. It seemed everyone had rallied to take care of the children in her absence.
She was lucky. She might not have a husband, but she did have a lot of people in her life who loved her. And now that she had no more questions about Keith, she'd finally packed away his things. After convincing her parents and Nick that she was not about to go off the deep end again, she'd spent most of Friday going through Keith's clothes and other personal belongings, a task she had never been able to face.
Now it was done. They still had pictures of him in the family room. The children each had something of his to keep in their rooms, and Maggie had her wedding ring—tucked away in her jewelry box. She would keep it always, but she wouldn't wear it again.
She set the laundry basket down on the dining room table and bent over to pick up a trail of socks that had somehow escaped from the basket. She tried to concentrate on the mundane task, but her mind drifted to Jeremy. She wondered what he would think if he could see her now, a mother, a housekeeper, a cook, a gardener and everything else that came with the job titled Mom.
He'd probably be disappointed, she thought, as she stuffed the socks into the basket. This was the real Maggie, not that woman who'd made love to him with wild abandon in a hotel room. She smiled to herself. She'd surprised herself as much as him, and she would never regret that night of passion. Jeremy had brought out another side of her. He'd made her feel beautiful and sexy and adored. And he'd reminded her that she was a woman who had a lot of life left to live.
Although part of her felt guilty about being with a man other than Keith, Maggie knew Keith would have wanted her to be happy. He would have wanted her to love again. And she did. She loved Jeremy.
It was too soon, too fast, too much of a fantasy, but deep down in her heart, she knew that she had fallen in love with Jeremy, and it would be a long, long time before she got over him.
But she would get over him, she told herself firmly. She had no other choice.
The doorbell rang. Maggie groaned. Carmela and Silvia were early, and she was late, as usual. She was supposed to go with them to the cemetery to celebrate the anniversary of Robin's death. This year she would take all the children, including Mary Bea, who already felt well enough to walk slowly around the house, so that her daughter could begin to understand that while people die, they are celebrated forever in the heart.
Maggie opened the door. "Silvia, I'm sorry, we're not quite ready--" She stopped as she realized the person on the porch was not Silvia. "Jeremy."
"Hello, Maggie."
Maggie shifted the laundry basket to one hip, painfully conscious of how much she looked like a mom. Her hair was a frazzled mess, and she hadn't changed out of her blue jeans or put on any makeup. And Jeremy—Jeremy looked great in his beige slacks and white polo shirt. His dark hair was neatly combed, his skin tan, his eyes filled with energy, his lips curved into a warm, sexy smile that made her want to melt. "What are you doing here?" she asked, finally able to get some words out.
"Seeing you. And boy, have I missed seeing you."
Her body tingled under his intense gaze. Maggie cleared her throat. "It's only been a few days."
"It feels like a lifetime. Aren't you going to invite me in?"
"Uh—we're leaving soon."
"You're not gone yet." He took the basket out of her hands. "Let me help you with that."
Once her hands were free, Maggie had no choice but to step back and invite him in.
"Where do you want it?" he asked.
"You can set it down there," she said, pointing to the bottom stair.
Jeremy looked around her house, nodding approvingly. "Exactly as I pictured it."
"When did you picture my house?" Maggie asked.
"The first day I met you."
"The first day you met me you thought I was Crystal," she reminded him. "A swinging, single friend of Serena's."
He laughed. "I never thought of you that way. I'll admit the three kids took me by surprise. Where are they? I'd like to meet them,"
"Jeremy, you have to leave," Maggie said abruptly.
"Why? Are you ashamed of me?"
"No, but you and I—it's over. I'm a single mother."
"So what? I like kids."
"You do not. You told me you never wanted kids."
"I told you I'd never met the right woman. I think I have, now." He looked at her with sexy, loving eyes that brimmed with tenderness and compassion. "In case you haven't figured it out yet, I l
ove you, Maggie."
"You can't," she whispered. "You're a fantasy."
He pinched her and laughed when she said, "Ow.”
"Does that feel like a fantasy?''
She rubbed her arm. "No."
"Does this?" He covered her mouth with his, persuading her with his lips what he could not do with words.
"Wow!" she breathed against his mouth.
"I've still got it?"
"It's better than I remembered."
"So you have been thinking about me."
"How could I not?" Maggie asked as she pulled away from him. "You were so great, Jeremy. It was the best adventure I ever had."
"You think you wrote the end of our story, but I'm convinced there should be a sequel," Jeremy said.
"Really?" she asked, unable to stop the surge of impossible hope from spreading through her body. "What would it be about?"
"You and me and your kids, learning how to be a family." He touched her face. "I'm not letting you go, Maggie."
She didn't want him to let her go. She wanted him to hold on to her forever, make love to her, make her laugh, make her be silly, make her feel wanted. But what could she give him but a complicated mess of a life?
"Mom," Dylan cried, as he and Sally ran down the hall. "Sally found a dead lizard. Look."
Sally dropped her offering at Maggie's feet and barked excitedly.
Maggie made a face at the mangled bit of lizard lying on her hall floor. She couldn't stand to look at it. "Dylan, how many times have I told you not to let her in the house with those things. Make her take it out of here."
"She wanted to give it to you, Mom," Dylan said earnestly. "She missed you."
"I missed her, too. Make her take the lizard away."
When Dylan tried to pick up the lizard, Sally grabbed it with her teeth and headed back toward the yard with Dylan following at her heels.
"That was my son, Dylan. My middle child. Still want to stay?" she asked Jeremy,
Before he could reply, Roxy skipped down the stairs in a very short skirt and enough makeup to cover half of San Diego. She stopped when she saw Jeremy.
Summer Reads Box Set, Books 4-6 Page 29
