"We should head back," he said. He glanced down at his watch and saw the time. "Shit! I was supposed to be back forty minutes ago."
She followed him to the wheel, her eyes widening as she looked at the turbulent ocean. "Are we going to be all right?"
"We're fine. I just want to get back to the harbor before the storm blows in."
She wrapped her arms around her waist as he powered up the engine and turned toward home. "I don't like this," she muttered. "Everything feels so out of control out here."
"Man against nature."
"This doesn't bother you?"
He shook his head. "I like the ocean in all its moods, but I do respect it. And I don't take unnecessary chances."
"It scares me. I don't think you ever knew, but I never liked swimming in the ocean. The waves crashing over our heads, the current pulling against our legs. I was always happy when the weather was too cold to go in."
He sent her a quick look. "Why didn't you ever say that before?"
"I didn't want you to laugh at me. You were such a fish, and Alli was always willing to go in with you if I didn't."
"She liked challenging the ocean," Sam replied, seeing Alli in his mind charging full steam ahead into an oncoming wave. She'd been an avid body surfer, and she still loved to take Megan down to the beach in the summer and go swimming.
"Alli liked challenging everything and everyone," Tessa said. "And I'm not saying that to insult her, before you jump all over me again. Sometimes it was a good thing. I have to admit her forthrightness with the nurses at the hospital is good. She makes them answer her questions. I barely get more than a nod or a mumble. But Alli doesn't let up."
"Nope." Sam reached over, realizing the lights on the radio were off, meaning he'd either neglected to turn it on or he had a problem with the radio.
"Something wrong?"
He fiddled with the buttons on the radio, annoyed when he got only static. "Looks like the radio is on the blink."
"Is that a problem?"
Again, he heard barely concealed panic in her voice. "We're fine, Tessa, relax."
"I'm trying, but the motion is making me nauseous. I wish we'd stayed at Grams's house. I don't know why I agreed to come out here."
He was beginning to wonder why he'd asked her. He'd thought she'd enjoy the sail, but she'd been tense and on edge since she'd come on board.
"We should have brought someone else to help you sail," she said.
"I don't need anyone's help," he replied with irritation. "It's a small boat, not a cruise ship, for God's sake."
"The last boat I was on was a cruise ship. We went to the Caribbean. It was beautiful and warm, and you could hardly feel the motion of the boat. I felt like I was in a big, beautiful hotel."
"But this is better, because you actually get to feel the water beneath you. That's the point of sailing."
She shrugged. "I guess." Her nonchalance vanished as the boat went up the face of a wave and down the other side, much like a roller coaster. She grabbed his arm so hard he had to fight her to regain control of the steering. "I don't like this," she said, her voice shaking.
"Talk to me, Tessa. Tell me about your life. Tell me about Jimmy," he said, trying to distract her.
"Jimmy. What—what do you want to know? He's a photographer I work with sometimes."
"He seems pretty interested in you, and not just for business purposes."
"He's a flirt," she said dismissively. "I've never seen him stick with a woman for longer than a month."
"So you two aren't dating?"
"No."
"Then why is he hanging around?"
"Well..." She seemed thrown by the question. "I don't know. I guess he considers himself a friend and he thinks I could use one right about now."
"I think he looks at you with more than friendship in mind."
"Perhaps there's a little attraction, but it's nothing serious."
"You still don't get the fact that you're every man's dream girl, do you?"
"Most of it is an illusion. You know what I really look like, Sam. The magazine covers are of some woman with not a line on her face or a blemish on her skin or an ounce of fat on her body. It takes about four people to get me to look that good. I don't think most men would like the real thing." She let out a breath as they entered the far end of the harbor, protected at last from the rising waves. "This is much better."
He was amazed by her description of herself. "Are you kidding, Tessa? I'm looking at the real thing right now and it's pretty damn incredible."
"Then why couldn't you really kiss me? Afraid you wouldn't like it or afraid you wouldn't be able to stop?"
Both, he decided. Because there was a fantasy of Tessa in his mind that he didn't want to lose, and yet here he had the opportunity to make that fantasy a reality and he couldn't seem to move forward.
"It was so good before," he muttered.
"It could be good again. Don't you think we should find out, Sam? Once and for all?"
* * *
"When I see Sam, remind me to kill him," Alli told Jimmy, who was standing on the dock taking photographs of her as she stood in the middle of a flat-bottom fishing boat next to a pile of squirming, smelly fish. She lowered her arm, encased in a yellow vinyl glove up to her elbow, and pulled out another fish and tossed it into a waiting crate.
"This is great stuff, Alli," Jimmy said. "You look terrific, your hair whipping around in the wind, your eyes on fire, your hands in a bucket of fish. I could sell this shot."
"To whom—Fisherman's Quarterly? You know, you could help."
He lowered the camera. "I don't think so. Can't mess up these lily white hands."
"You're such a hero."
"Like Sam?"
"He's not my hero," she said. "At the moment, he is lower than scum. And I plan to tell him that as soon as he gets here. If he ever gets here," she muttered, sneaking a quick look over her shoulder. She wasn't worried. She was not worried. Sam was a capable sailor. He could handle any boat. Still, the winds had kicked up and dark clouds were blowing through. The weather could change in a second on this part of the coast, and the thought of Sam getting caught out in a bad blow did nothing to ease the growing tension in her body.
"So, tell me again why you're doing this for him?" Jimmy asked.
"Because the fishing business is still half mine, and dammit, I'm not going to lose money because Sam and Tessa lost track of the time."
"So your motives are purely business oriented.”
"Absolutely."
"You're not just saving Sam's hide because you still love the guy and you don't want to see his business take a hit?"
"Absolutely not."
"Right."
Jimmy didn't believe her. Well, why should he? She didn't believe herself. Why was she here? She hated messing about with live, icky, squirmy fish. But someone had to do it. The fish had to be in Petrie's truck by two o'clock, and she was bound and determined to make that deadline.
Alli leaned over and grabbed another one, only to find the fish ripped in half. She now had fish guts dripping all over her jeans.
"Yuck, yuck, yuck," she squealed.
Jimmy laughed as she tossed the fish into the water next to the boat.
"I hate Sam Tucker," she cried.
"Well, here's your chance to tell him," Jimmy said as Sam's boat pulled into the slip next to them.
Alli saw Tessa step off the boat, looking pristine clean in her white jeans and blue windbreaker.
"Hey, babe," Jimmy called out to her.
Tessa walked over to them. "What on earth are you doing, Alli?"
Alli glared at her. "I'm playing with the fish, what does it look like I'm doing?"
"You're in a mood. What are you doing here, Jimmy?" Tessa asked, turning to the photographer.
"Waiting for you. Have a good trip?"
"It was all right."
"Anything exciting happen?" Jimmy asked.
Alli saw Tessa shake her head, t
hen tuck her hair behind her ear the way she always did when she wasn't telling the truth. Damn her. Something had happened on the boat. Something between Tessa and Sam? Had they made love? Was that why they were late?
The sickening truth overwhelmed Alli, and she felt like throwing up. What was she doing—saving Sam's business when he was more concerned with fooling around with Tessa. She was an idiot, a stupid, hopelessly in love idiot.
Sam finished tying up the boat, then came over to her, his expression wary. "Where's Billy? He was supposed to help with this."
"He's disappeared again and Josie said you turned off your radio."
"I didn't turn it off. It's broken."
"So you say," she said, tossing another fish into the crate. "Fifteen more minutes and your order with Petrie's was history."
"I appreciate your doing this."
"You're such a good little wife, Alli," Tessa said mockingly. "And I've never seen you look better."
"Oh, just shut up," Alli said. And on impulse she drew back her arm, and instead of tossing the fish into the bucket, she aimed it straight at Tessa.
Tessa screamed and jumped aside as the fish writhed at her feet. "Get it away from me. Get it away from me," she said, closing her eyes, apparently frozen in place.
Jimmy reached over and picked up the fish, tossing it back into the bucket. "It's okay, you're safe now, Tessa." He put his arm around her and flashed a smile Alli's way. "I'll protect you," he said to Tessa.
"I just want to get out of here," Tessa replied, and without even bothering to say good-bye to Sam or to Alli, she let Jimmy lead her up to the main road.
"I'm surprised you didn't jump in front of her, protect her from her nasty little sister," Alli said to Sam.
"I don't think I need to get between you two any more than I already have."
"Is that where you are—between us? Or are you with Tessa now? You never run late, Sam. You never forget about your business. Oh, you can forget to come home for dinner or buy me a birthday present or show up for our anniversary, but you never forget business—until now. I guess Tessa must have kept you occupied."
"It wasn't like that. We were talking."
"Oh, sure, talking. God, I hate you." She felt the anger rage within her, and she just couldn't stop it from bursting out. She picked up a fish and threw at him. "I hate that you took her out on our boat." She threw another fish at his head, as he stepped around the first shot. "I hate that you can lose track of time with her but not with me."
Sam sidestepped another throw. "Alli, calm down."
"And I hate it when you tell me to calm down," she cried, launching another fish in his direction.
This time he caught the fish, tossed it into the crate, and jumped onto the boat next to her. "Don't," he said, grabbing her hands with his. "Don't."
She looked up into his face, her eyes blurring with furious tears. "I hate you."
"No you don't," he whispered. Then he put his mouth over hers and she was lost.
His kiss was hungry, seeking, demanding. She tried to resist. She tried to keep her lips closed, but his tongue teased her mouth and she couldn't help but open, letting him slip inside, letting him taste her the way she wanted to taste him. She threw her arms around his back, forgetting that her gloves were soaking wet, forgetting that they were standing literally in a pile of snapping fish. Forgetting that he'd just come off a boat trip with her sister. No, she couldn't forget that.
She yanked her mouth away from his, her breath coming out in ragged, jerky gasps. "Did you kiss Tessa like that? Did you kiss her like she was the only woman in the world and you couldn't live without her. Why do I let you do this to me? Stay away from me, Sam. Just stay away from me."
She peeled off her gloves and tossed them onto the deck. "I don't want you anymore. I don't want to be second choice, second best, second whatever. I don't want to be the one who trails after you like some stupid lost puppy dog. I don't want to be the one you got stuck with after the one you loved got away. She's here, Sam. Tessa is right here in Tucker's Landing. You want to make love to someone. Make love to her."
Chapter Sixteen
Sam walked into Phoebe's hospital room later that afternoon and said hello to William, who sat in a chair by the bed, watching the news on television. The older man looked tired, but there was still a determination in his expression that refused to weaken.
"Hello, Sam."
"How's Phoebe?"
"Sleeping. They put her through some physical therapy earlier. She's talking better, moving better. I think she's on her way back to us."
"That's good news. Do you want to take a break? I'll stay with her for a while."
"I wouldn't mind stretching my legs, maybe getting a bite to eat. Not that there is much in that cafeteria that's appealing. Still, it's convenient." He got up, then hesitated as he saw Phoebe's eyes flutter open. "Phoebe?"
She smiled sleepily at William, her expression growing sweeter as it came to rest on Sam. He smiled back at her, thinking she looked almost normal. There was color in her cheeks and sparkle in her eyes. "Hi, Phoebe? Are you behaving yourself?"
"As if I could do anything else.”
"I'm taking a walk," William said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll be back soon. Do you need anything?"
"No, thank you." Phoebe patted the mattress next to her as Sam hovered at the end of the bed. "Come here and sit beside me."
Sam did as he was told, sitting down on the edge of the bed. There was plenty of room. Phoebe was so small, she barely took any space.
"Did Alli and Tessa find the pearl?" she asked.
"No yet, but we haven't given up. So don't worry."
"Tomorrow is what day?"
"Friday."
"We don't have much time left before the Fourth."
"We're going tomorrow at low tide to check the oyster farm by Vista Point. Alli said you used to have good luck there. We'll take Megan, too. She'll get to spend some time with her aunt."
Phoebe smiled. "All of you together. That's nice."
"It might be."
She lifted her hand to him and he took it. "You have to make it all right, Sam."
"I'm the problem, not the solution." He shook his head in frustration. "Alli keeps throwing me at Tessa, and Tessa seems to think maybe we could have something now that Alli is backing off. They both look at me like I know the answer to some question, only I don't know the answer. In fact, I'm not even sure what the question is."
"What do you want? That's the question."
"I don't know anymore." He let out a sigh. "I loved Tessa once. You know I did. But Alli and I married for better or worse. I made those vows in good faith. I always meant to keep them, until Alli decided to change the rules." He took a breath, thinking of all that had happened. "For a long time I thought that Tessa was always the right one and Alli was always the mistake. Now I look at Tessa and wonder how I could fit into her life, how could she fit into mine. Then I look at Alli and wonder the same thing. Alli is moving on without me. Her business is going well. She's more confident than I've ever seen her. She used to need me for that. But she doesn't anymore."
"She still needs you," Phoebe said, patting his hand. "But do you need her?"
"I know I miss her more than I ever thought I would."
Phoebe's eyes softened with the wisdom of her years. "That's a start. The rest will come, as long as you're all talking to each other. Can I tell you a little secret?"
"A secret?" Sam groaned. "Do I really want to know?"
"I gave you that box of photos to shake things up."
"Well, you certainly did that."
"Don't be angry with me, Sam. I couldn't stand watching you and Alli drift along in unhappiness, never talking about that elephant in the living room, the one named Tessa. And I got tired of waiting for Tessa to wake up and come home. Life is short, Sam. You and Alli were wasting far too much of it." She paused. "I never thought Alli would ask you for a divorce, though. I didn't see that coming."
"It shocked the hell out of me, too."
"Because you didn't know what you had to lose until you lost it. And Alli didn't either. Now the two of you need to stop being stubborn and proud and work things out." She drew a deep breath that seemed to come from deep within her soul. "I'm so tired. I wish I could talk to you longer. I wish I could fix this."
"It's all right. You need to rest."
"If I made things worse, I'm sorry."
"You didn't make anything worse. You just speeded up the inevitable."
She smiled sadly. "I hope that's not true. You and Alli have something worth saving."
"I'm not sure what we have."
"Then it's time to find out."
He nodded. "It would be a lot easier if Tessa weren't around. She confuses things."
"You might think you can choose who you want to love, Sam, but that's not the way it works. Love chooses you."
He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"One more thing." She hesitated, her expression reflecting her worry. "If something happens to me, will you watch out for them both? They don't have anyone else."
"Nothing is going to happen to you," he said confidently, although he felt a ripple of uneasiness run through him. But she was getting better, talking better. He was imagining things.
"Promise me, Sam."
"I promise," he said.
"Thank you."
He watched as Phoebe's eyelashes swept across her cheek and she drifted off to sleep. He hoped he wouldn't have to make good on his promise for a long, long time.
William re-entered the room with a cup of coffee in his hand. "She's asleep," he said with disappointment.
"Yes. She seems so tired."
"I know." He set his coffee down on the side table. "It's awful getting old, Sam."
"I've never thought of Phoebe as old."
"Time passes more quickly than we realize. I look back at all the things I should have said, should have done. Why didn't I?" He gave a regretful shake of his head. "Don't waste time, Sam. Not a second. You'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did, no matter what kind of a hash you made of them. Living is about doing, not watching, not waiting." He sat down in the chair next to Phoebe. "I should know. I've waited forever."
Summer Reads Box Set, Books 4-6 Page 46
