by Minkman, Jen
As Julia got up to get a refill of juice, Michael headed over to the fridge and stopped right next to her. “Wanna join me outside?” he mumbled, holding up a pack of smokes.
Julia looked at him nervously. “Uhm, yes, sure,” she stuttered. Admittedly, she wasn’t a real smoker, but she’d gladly make an exception today for having the chance to have him all to herself for a few minutes.
She put her glass in the sink and followed Michael out the door, ignoring Donna and Silke both eyeing her inquisitively. With wobbly knees, she walked down the stairs and to the back of the store. Michael pushed open the back door leading to the small quadrangle that was used for loading and unloading.
Julia hesitated when he held out the pack of cigarettes to her. “I don’t actually really smoke,” she was embarrassed to admit. “I mean, I know I did smoke that night I was at your place, but I wasn’t actually… you know…” She paused, looking for words. “I wasn’t being myself,” she spoke at last. Now that she said it out loud, she realized it was true. She’d pretended to be someone else that night, just to be able to meet his expectations.
Michael put away the cigarettes in his breast pocket. “To be honest, I’m not too fond of smoking myself anymore,” he shrugged. “Ever since the accident.” He looped an arm around her waist. “I just wanted to talk to you.”
Julia rested herself against his shoulder, closing her eyes and enjoying the moment. “I loved your poem,” she mumbled. “Thank you so much.”
He lifted her chin and looked at her searchingly. “You really mean it? Are you being… yourself now?”
Julia turned red. Looking back, the way she had desperately tried so hard to please him was cringe-worthy. “Yes, I really mean it,” she whispered.
He gave her a sweet smile. “I’m happy to hear that,” he mumbled, lowering his head to kiss her warmly. Julia clasped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, her heart beating wildly when his hands roamed over her body before landing on her waist and pulling her into him. When he touched her, it was like her body was at peace and at the mercy of a raging storm at the same time. He calmed and comforted her, but he also made her hot for him. She almost felt like pleading and begging for a few kisses more when he disentangled himself from their embrace and stepped backward. “I think we need to go upstairs again,” he observed, slightly out of breath.
“Too bad.” Julia pouted.
Michael took her hand in his. “I’m only working the morning shift tomorrow,” he said, hope evident in his voice. “What about you? Maybe we can go out in the afternoon. Like, hang around in the park or something. It’s such nice weather outside.”
Julia mentally sorted through her work schedule. “I’ll ask Martin to swap my Thursday afternoon off for tomorrow,” she replied, beaming at him. She could swear her heart almost burst with joy and love. He’d asked her out! And this time, he actually wanted to go somewhere – not just hang around in his room to see how far he could take things with her.
Michael smiled back happily. “I hope he’ll say yes,” he said with such a genuine sparkle in his eyes that it seemed like he was asking her out for the first time.
The fact that he’d brushed her off after their first date seemed like a distant memory, but it wasn’t completely erased from her mind – a small stab of insecurity went through Julia’s heart. She still had no idea what had changed him so much, but it wasn’t a very good idea to bring up the question straight away. She’d ask him later, after they had spent more time together. Or maybe she shouldn’t. It was also entirely possible he wasn’t even aware of his character change after that knock to the head, in which case she should keep her mouth shut forever. She’d rather get to know the new Michael than bother with his old alter ego.
When the clock struck five, Julia left the bookstore in high spirits. Everything had turned out the way she wanted: Martin had agreed to her taking the afternoon off tomorrow, plus she’d managed to buy all the discounted poetry books she’d wanted. Her boss had even given her sixty percent off instead of fifty. Now she’d be able to read Michael more poems when they went to the park together. She wasn’t shy about it anymore.
Donna was waiting at the bus stop and shot Julia a wicked grin when her colleague took a seat next to her. “So. Time to come clean. Where did you and Michael go during lunch break?”
Julia blushed. “Outside. Cigarette break.”
“Sure you were. I’m not buying it. I bet things got smoking hot between you, though.” Donna elbowed her in the side.
Julia let out a nervous laugh. “Fine, you’re right. Something’s going on between us. Again.”
“Sounds good. Is that why you begged Martin to swap free afternoons?”
“Yeah. We’re going to the park tomorrow.” She smiled blissfully. “I still can’t quite believe it.”
Donna rolled her eyes. “I’ll be in for X-rated material around every corner, won’t I? Romance on the work floor – Mamma Mia. Don’t make me avert my eyes every time I walk into the stockroom and you guys are there, smoking.”
“We’ll keep it family-friendly, I promise.” At that moment, Julia’s bus crawled up to the bus stop. She waved at Donna before getting on. Her MP3 player had died, so she entertained herself by reading Michael’s poem so many times she knew it by heart when she got off at Birkensiedlung.
It was nice and quiet in her neighborhood after the bustle of the city and her day at work. Birds were singing in the trees lining the road Julia had to walk down to get to her house.
As she turned onto her street, Julia slowed down – acoustic guitar music was coming from the Ebner family’s yard. Curiously, she stuck her head around the corner of the hedge lining their lawn and spotted Thorsten sitting on the grass. He was playing a beautiful melody on a classical guitar. Julia listened to him breathlessly and regretted stepping too close when his head shot up and he stopped playing immediately.
“Sorry to interrupt,” she said guiltily.
Thorsten smiled. “You’re not interrupting. I’m just not used to having an audience.” He shrugged self-consciously.
“I’ll just leave, okay?” Julia mumbled, but he shook his head.
“No, not okay. I shouldn’t be silly. Come, sit next to me. Maybe you can sing something. I have no lyrics to accompany my song yet.” He beckoned her to sit down.
Julia gingerly pushed open the gate. Did she understand correctly that Thorsten had written the melody himself? That was amazing. She kept bumping into creative, handsome guys who seemed to like her, lately.
“I don’t really write lyrics to my own music, to be honest,” Julia admitted when she sat down. “I usually just play instrumental piano music.”
When Thorsten started playing his song again, however, she felt inspiration bubbling up despite her words. Michael’s poem was still stuck in her head, and without thinking, she started to sing it out loud, incorporating the words into Thorsten’s melody. All the feelings she had for Michael seeped into the song and it sounded astounding, combined with Thorsten’s delicate picking of the strings.
Julia gave him a surreptitious look full of surprise. She hadn’t thought making music together would be this simple. When she had sung the last stanza and the music faded away, she caught his gaze. Thorsten stared at her intently.
“That was really beautiful,” he said, his voice cracking. He put down his guitar and leaned into her. “You are really beautiful,” he softly mumbled.
For a beat or two, they both sat completely still. Julia’s heart leaped up in her throat when Thorsten’s hand landed in her neck and he inched even closer. Something in her stomach fluttered. She knew what he was about to do, but she couldn’t move, couldn’t speak to tell him no.
Or was it a question of not wanting to?
She had no time to ponder that question. Thorsten’s warm lips crushed hers. Julia involuntarily closed her eyes and felt the heat radiating off his skin from up close. His breath blew softly between her slightly opened lips and his fingers t
angled into her hair, caressing her neck. He kissed her again, softly, then more passionately, leaving his taste in her mouth. And then, he slowly let go of her and gazed into her eyes just inches away from her face.
“I couldn’t resist,” he whispered. “You were singing so beautifully, and you looked so innocent and sweet. You were angelic.”
Julia met his eyes, her face burning with shame. She had sounded innocent and sweet because she’d been singing Michael’s words. Because she was in love with him. And yet, she’d let Thorsten kiss her without any objection. She’d done nothing to stop him. What on earth was she thinking?!
The silence was becoming painful. She had to say something to him. “I’m… I don’t mind,” she stuttered, flinching instantly. “No, that’s not true. I do mind. I mean...”
A playful smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Well? What do you mean?”
She bit her lip. “I should have stopped you.”
“Yeah. Okay. That didn’t work out so well.” Thorsten grinned mischievously.
Julia blushed even harder and swallowed the lump in her throat. “Did I kiss you back?” she whispered almost inaudibly.
His blue eyes stared at her, and in the silence that ensued, she could hear the blood rushing in her ears and feel his hands still holding hers.
“It felt like that to me,” he replied quietly and earnestly.
“I’m so sorry,” she choked out. “I shouldn’t have. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Are you still in love with him?” Thorsten asked with a dull pain in his voice.
Julia awkwardly stared at her hands in his. “I’m going out with him tomorrow. Sorry. I honestly don’t know what my deal is. Well, I’m sending out mixed signals. And I shouldn’t be doing that. I...”
She stopped talking when Thorsten cupped her cheek with one hand. “It’s okay. I kind of caught you off guard, I guess. Just let me be your friend, okay?” He pressed a kiss to her forehead and struggled to his feet. “Have fun tomorrow.”
Thorsten picked up his guitar and hurried inside. Julia cursed inwardly – she was being such a bitch! It was obvious she’d hurt his feelings, even if he said he still wanted to be friends. It might be better to avoid him for a while now that she was dating Michael again. But how was she supposed to do that with him living across the street?
Feeling really fed up with herself, she got up and slogged out of the yard. Of course, Gaby would be here any minute now to hear all about Michael. She wasn’t sure she should include this episode in the summary of her eventful day, even though Gaby had recommended hanging out with both guys to decide who she liked better.
“I’m home,” she called into the direction of the kitchen when she stepped inside. No reply. Her mom was still at work, and Anne was most likely at her grandmother’s or with Sabine. Julia went upstairs to clear away the spare mattress from her room and write in her diary.
After putting the mattress back in the hallway closet, she sat down at her desk, opened her drawer and took out the photo album she used as a scrapbook, poetry book and diary all at once. She wanted to stick Michael’s poem in there. The song she’d written with Thorsten was playing in her head.
Julia’s gaze wandered outside and landed on the house across the street. Thorsten was just stepping out of the shed with a pile of wooden planks in his arms, which he put down on a bike trailer as directed by Sabine. She smiled. So he was helping them with their construction project in the woods again. Maybe she should ask him for inside information about the tree house so she’d have an idea when Anne would be finished.
While Sabine was busy hooking up the trailer to her bicycle, Thorsten looked up at her bedroom window. It was as if he had felt her eyes on him. He waved at her with a friendly smile. Julia feebly waved back. His clear, blue eyes didn’t look at her reproachfully, and yet she felt bad.
From the corner of her eye she could see Gaby rounding the corner of her street. Quickly, she stepped away from the window and rushed downstairs so she could drag her friend inside before Gaby would strike up a lengthy conversation with Thorsten. As she walked to the front door, she could hear Gaby shouting something to Thorsten, who was still helping his little sister. In a rush, she opened the door and grabbed Gaby’s upper arm. “Hey, Gab. Come inside.”
Gaby chuckled. “Eager to share your big news, are you?” She stepped inside and hugged her friend. “Let’s go to the kitchen, Aphrodite, so you can make us tea, open a pack of cookies and tell me everything from A to Z about what happened today.”
With a flushed face, Julia told her best friend everything that had transpired at the bookstore. Afterwards, she declaimed Michael’s poem by heart.
“That is so beautiful,” Gaby whispered. “So you’re going on a date tomorrow? Wow, Jules, it sounds like a dream.”
“Yes, it does. Sometimes, it’s like I am dreaming. It all still feels pretty surreal.” She stared at the teacup in her hands, clearing her throat before she continued. “Also, I sang a song today. Together with Thorsten.”
Gaby cocked an eyebrow. “Why? Is it someone’s birthday?”
Julia coughed nervously. “No, he was playing a song on his guitar when I walked past his house, and since he was actually composing the song, he asked if I wanted to join him and help him with lyrics. And at the end, he was so touched by my singing that he kissed me.”
Her friend went bug-eyed. “Say what? For real? And what did you do?”
“I… I think I kissed him back,” Julia stuttered with a red face. “I didn’t mean to, but the whole gesture was just so... so genuine.”
A grin split Gaby’s face in two as she grabbed another chocolate chip cookie from the plate. “No way! I was right in nicknaming you Aphrodite. Seriously, Jules, kissing two guys in one day?”
“Look, I’m not planning on making it a habit. I’m going out with Michael tomorrow, and I told Thorsten that, too. I don’t want to put him on the wrong track.”
At that moment, they heard keys in the front door. “Hello!” Julia’s mother announced herself. “I’m home.” She popped her head around the kitchen door. “Servus, Gaby. Are you staying for dinner?”
Gaby shook her head. “No, I, uhm... I’m going out to dinner with Axel tonight. He asked me whether I wanted to try out that new Mexican restaurant in town, and he doesn’t really know anyone else who loves spicy food and jalapeño and that kind of stuff, so he asked me… and I didn’t have anything better to do, so I thought, what the hell, you know. And besides, they’ve got this introduction deal going on where you get two entrees for the price of one, so that’s why it made sense for him to ask me, too.”
“Right.” Ms. Gunther slowly nodded, looking slightly bewildered. She disappeared into the hallway, leaving the two girls behind in awkward silence.
Gaby stared down at the table top, a pink blush on her cheeks, until Julia burst out giggling. “Wow, thanks for the very clear explanation. What’s next, you reading out the entire menu?”
Gaby’s blush reddened. “Oh, come on, you get me, right? I didn’t want to give you the wrong impression.”
“Ah. What wrong impression might that be?”
“Well, just, you thinking it’s a date or something,” Gaby mumbled.
“No, because going on a date with Axel would be downright idiotic.”
“No! I don’t mean it like that. But he’s your cousin, you know. And a good friend of mine.” Gaby picked up another cookie from the big plate and started chewing like her life depended on it.
Julia chuckled. “Don’t go and ruin your appetite now. After all, you still have an entire menu to look forward to.”
Gaby glowered at her. “Stop harassing me! I’m just...”
“Nervous? Tense? Happy? Excited?”
“Never mind. I’m never telling you anything ever again.”
They stared each other down for a moment, then both erupted in fits of laughter. By the time Julia’s mother returned to the kitchen, the air had been cleared. Gaby had
even promised Julia to text her tomorrow and let her know how The Mexican Job had worked out.
After tea, Julia walked Gaby to the front door. “Can you tell Anne to come home?” her mom called out after them. “She’s probably still with the neighbors across the street.”
“I don’t know about that,” Julia called back as she waved Gaby goodbye. “I believe Sabine and Anne are busy in the woods again. Before Gaby got here, I saw Thorsten lugging around big piles of wood that would put The Home Depot to shame.”
“Well, go find out. We’re having dinner in a few minutes. Thorsten might know where the girls are.”
Dragging her feet, Julia crossed the street to do what her mother had asked. Now she had to talk to Thorsten again. Ignoring him turned out to be an impossible task.
Much to her relief, she saw Sabine getting off her bike and unhooking the now empty trailer in the yard. “Hey, Sabine,” she said. “Is Anne with you?”
The little girl shook her head. “I just dropped off some planks at the spot where we’re busy building our tree house, but she was already gone. Didn’t she come home?”
“No.” Julia frowned in dismay. It was all very nice that Anne loved nature and solitude, but it was irresponsible of her to take off like this. She was probably just trying to get inspiration for her book, but this would surely put her mom on edge again.
Julia dug up her phone. Anne should have her cell phone on her too, so it was worth trying to give her a call. After three rings, the phone switched to voice mail, but it didn’t take long for Anne to call her back.
“Hey,” Anne’s tinny voice sounded through the speaker. “I’m coming home now.”
“Whereabouts are you?”
“Oh, nowhere in particular. I was making some sketches for my story. I’ll be there soon.”
After ten minutes, Anne cycled into the yard. Julia was waiting for her at the door. “I’m glad you had your phone with you,” she said sternly. “You shouldn’t do that again – staying out for too long without telling anyone where you are.”
