by Nicole Thorn
We jumped out of the car using every bit of godlike power to move faster, getting us to the damage. Zander got there first, pausing when he did. It took me a moment to accept what I saw there, because my brain hadn’t been prepared. Jasmine laid on the floor, still and unconscious. My brother ran to her, his knees sliding across the carpet until he got to her.
“Jasmine,” he said, lifting her up. “Wake up, sweetheart. What happened? Can you hear me?”
She didn’t react, and her head hung limply as he cradled her. Then I noticed something ugly that I didn’t want to pay attention to. Silence. Such perfect silence from her. I should have heard a thump.
I went to her, my legs and hands shaking as I reached out. Zander noticed it too, but he didn’t say anything. His lips pressed to her wrist, and he held it there for a moment.
“No,” Verin said.
“Jasmine.” I took her arm, and pressed my fingers to her pulse. “Jasmine, wake up.”
She didn’t wake up, and she couldn’t wake up, and she wouldn’t wake up. Never again.
Not possible. Not possible that Jasmine was just . . . gone. She couldn’t have been, because she looked fine. Something hit her in the head, and she’d wake up soon. She always woke up.
“It’s fine,” Verin said. “She’s going to be fine. Fine.”
I turned my head to him, feeling too weak to say anything. I didn’t believe reality, because I didn’t want to. This day shouldn’t have happened for a long time. She was supposed to be old, and it was supposed to be peaceful.
“Do you smell that?” Verin said, tilting his head up.
I did, but denial felt much easier than admitting I smelled blood in the air. My legs still wobbled, and I felt myself swaying on my feet as I stood there, pretending.
Verin started moving, and I made myself follow him, leaving my brother. I had to see what made that smell, because my brain screamed at me. It told me things I didn’t want to hear. It gave me reasons the house was so quiet, and why the car had been right where we left it. I didn’t give a fuck about the logic, because I wouldn’t look at it.
It wasn’t a scream, but some other sound I couldn’t describe when we walked into the kitchen. Verin and I saw Juniper, and blood that coated the kitchen. The kitchen we had all been sitting in only a couple hours ago. Where Juniper sat on his lap, and he played with the hem of her skirt.
Now the world turned black, white, and red, and I couldn’t hear anything. Blood drew my eyes, and I couldn’t smell anything else. Verin rushed to Juniper, and I couldn’t hear him screaming her name. A violent gash in her throat, this girl who might have been my sister one day. She wasn’t anyone’s sister anymore.
It took Verin two seconds before he got coated in blood. His legs, and his chest as he clutched her body to his.
“I can fix it,” he promised her. “It’ll be okay,” he said, holding her face in his hands. “I’ll come get you, and you’ll be okay. Can you hear me? It’s fine.”
I started running, screaming for the one that I didn’t see. He’d be fine, because I didn’t see him. Something terrible happened, and Jasper hid. He hid somewhere safe until I could go find him. And this terrible black day, he would remember for the rest of his life. It would always hurt, but I would be there for Jasper. I could get him through the worst of it, and he would be okay.
I ran to the garage, because that was his favorite place. He went there when he needed peace, and comfort, and he would have gone there to hide. It would be sad when I found him, and we’d have to find a way to not let this break us. I felt terrible then, because I was the only one who hadn’t lost their person or family. Jasmine, Juniper . . . my brother and Verin wouldn’t recover. And it would be awful for Jasper too, having lost his sisters. I hoped part of them wouldn’t resent me for this.
Won’t matter.
I got to the door, and I pushed it open, hoping to find Jasper hiding.
He’s not hiding.
Then I realized he wouldn’t have had a place to hide in there.
No, he wouldn’t have.
I needed to check another room.
No, I don’t.
He would have been waiting for me.
He isn’t.
I didn’t want to keep him waiting, scared alone.
He’s not anything anymore.
I saw him, but I didn’t see him. Jasper hung there, feet swinging and heart not beating. But he couldn’t have been gone. Wasn’t possible. I saw the bookshelf that held the cord hurting him, and I hurried to it. I used every drop of god blood in me, and I ran to it. I broke the thing down with one kick, and I ran to catch Jasper before he could hit the ground. I didn’t want him to be any sorer in the morning then he already would have been.
“I’ve got you,” I promised as I lowered him down to the ground. I had his head on my lap, and he laid so still. I broke the cord and threw it against the wall. “Breathe, okay? Breathe for me.”
He didn’t, and I listened closely. How long had he been in here without me? Afraid, and waiting? He would have been so scared, and I didn’t know how to make it up to him. I would find a way.
But he wasn’t breathing.
Hasn’t been for a while.
I had to give him CPR, because then he would be okay. Everything would be fine. I tilted his head back and pressed my mouth to his after I laid him down. They taught us this in school, and I never thought it I would have needed it. Funny.
I blew air into Jasper’s lungs, getting him air between chest compressions. His heart didn’t beat, but lots of people’s hearts stopped beating, and they turned out fine. He could be fine too. He would be fine.
Nothing is fine.
I kept going, and I didn’t know for how long. I went and went and went, and he didn’t come back to me. I pressed harder, my hand slipping. I heard a crack in his chest, and I screamed hysterically at the sound.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” I cried, tears running down my face. I didn’t know how long they’d been falling, because his shirt was wet. Not only with the blood that seemed to be everywhere, from cuts and other things, but from tears. So many tears. But I would have to have been crying for a while, and I must have only been going a few seconds. He would have been awake if I were at it much longer.
Jasper still didn’t move, and he didn’t breathe, and his heart didn’t beat. Why didn’t his heart beat?
I went still, and his body laid limp on the floor. I stared, not knowing what to do. He couldn’t have been gone, because it wasn’t supposed to happen yet. Not yet.
But he was, and it did, and I couldn’t undo it. Something ripped through my home and took the world away.
How long was he out here? How long did he suffer because I couldn’t get here in time? Did I have a chance? What if my standing out there with the others is why Jasper is . . . I wasted time. He feels warm, and I wasted the little time he had left. I could have gotten air to him, and he would be fine right now. Breathing. Alive. Here. Here with me. But he was alone out here. How long? How long? How long did he hang before I found him? How long was he all alone? I left him alone.
“I’m so sorry,” I breathed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know . . . I don’t know what to do.”
I wasn’t alone in the house. I had a brother, and another brother. Both broken. Both with their people dead at their feet.
I couldn’t leave Jasper alone in the garage, in this place he loved. My body trembled, but I picked him up in my arms. He felt like nothing and went limp as I held him. Already limp . . . but stayed limp. I carried him out, looking straight ahead of me
When I got to the living room, Zander hadn’t moved. Not a single fraction. My tears fell onto Jasper more as I approached Zander, and I knelt down with him. I set Jasper down and listened out for the sounds in the kitchen.
“It’s okay,” Verin said. “It won’t be a mess when you get back. I promise. I’ll fix the other stuff later.”
He came back into the living room, soaked in even
more blood than he had been before. Wild eyes found my Jasper, and the man looked at me. “He’ll be fine too.”
“Fine,” I rasped. “They’re dead. They’re all dead. We left, and they’re dead because of it.”
Verin shook his head. “No, it doesn’t matter. Medusa was supposed to be dead. Heracles died. Psyche died.”
“They’re humans,” I said. “The seers were human, and not favored by the gods.”
“Well they’re fuckin’ favored by me, and that’s enough. I need more rags. Juniper is going to be upset if she gets home to a bloody kitchen.”
Juniper had a hole in her throat, but I wouldn’t point that out. I let Verin run around cleaning, because what else could I have done? I didn’t want to move anyway.
He brought Juniper in, and I felt tremors run through my body. He laid her down, and I stared at the girl who I had spoken to not all that long ago. She had been fine before.
We’re in the backyard, and I’m playing with some flowers. I grow them, and the kids squeal in delight. Jasper smiles, and the new crinkles around his eyes look more pronounced than they used to.
Jasper looked asleep, but I knew better now. I knew his heart wasn’t beating, and probably hadn’t been for a while. I should have been home. I should have been there to protect them.
Jasmine yells in triumph as she and two little girls that look like her, bolt away from their dad. They have water guns, and all three turn to assault him with them. She throws her hands up in victory, and Zander catches her around the waist. The kids cheer too, and then run past their parents.
Verin entered the room and sat with Juniper. He muttered about stains as his hands ran over her body, not quite touching it. He complained that her clothes couldn’t have been saved but promised he would get her new ones.
Juniper won’t sit in the grass, so Verin lays out a blanket for her. Three children toddle over and sit with the two of them. Nemo bends his head to them, and Juniper threatens him while the kids pat his heads. Everything is quiet. Everything is good, and I feel a warm hand in mine.
The colors faded, and I stared at this monotone world I wanted nothing to do with. It let me down, allowing me to come home to the ones I loved, dead. My mother failed me too, because she must have known. She knew why the visions stopped working, and she didn’t warn us. She let me get violated, and she didn’t tell anyone. She let the world crush me, and she didn’t lift a finger.
“I love you,” Verin told Juniper. “I’ll make this right.”
“You can’t make it right,” I said. “Nothing is going to be right anymore. It’s over.”
“No,” he refused, making me look at him, and the hard way he stared. “I will not allow this to be over. Do you understand me?”
“There’s nothing to do. No people for you to go slaughter. It didn’t bring your mother back, and it won’t bring . . . ” I stopped myself, feeling like a knife slid through my chest.
Verin’s jaw tightened. “My mother didn’t want to come back. I left it, because it was what she wanted. Juniper didn’t want to die at twenty-one. She didn’t want her brother and sister to die at twenty-one, and she sure as bloody hell didn’t want to leave me. So, I’m unfucking this up.”
“You can’t.”
“Yes,” he growled. “I can. I want my future, and I want what I was promised. I want my triplets that made Juniper so damn twitchy. I want to marry her, and I want to see the day she gets better. Then the day she gets a little better than that. And better than that. I want these things for you as well, and Zander, and Jasmine, and Jasper. I want us all to get what we are owed, and I will get it for us.”
“How?” I breathed.
Verin pressed his lips against Juniper’s head, and then he stood up. “With blood.”
He left the room, and I heard him when he went up the stairs. I couldn’t have been bothered to try and figure out what he was doing, because I got too lost in my head, hearing what Callie told us. The seers and demigods and how this story ended. Eyes will fall, and mountains will cry. Well, I couldn’t stop crying, not that I tried very hard. I felt heat on my face, and I worried that it wouldn’t ever stop. Who cared if it did?
Verin stomped down the stairs, his fist tightly closed, and the other holding a metal bucket. “Gather your loves,” he ordered us. “We’re going to be gone a while.”
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Backyard.”
I didn’t ask more questions, but I picked Jasper up again. He felt colder, and I whimpered at the feeling of his skin on mine. Wrong, everything about it was wrong. Not warm and comforting, but stiff and odd. I wanted it to be like it had been before. I wanted to close my eyes and wake up with Jasper in bed with me. I wanted this morning back.
“Zander,” Verin barked. “Wake up, mate. We have work to do.”
My brother, who I had hardly been able to look at, he had no expression. Infinite emptiness settled in his eyes as he watched Jasmine. She really did look asleep, and I wondered if he waited for her to wake up. Would he have sat there for days if we let him?
“Zander,” I said, gentler than Verin. “Can you hear me?”
He didn’t look up.
Verin knelt in front of him and kept his voice firm. “I know. I know, okay? But we need to go, right now. You want her back?”
Zander looked at him, but he might as well have been a hundred mile away.
“I can get her back. I promise it. My life depends on this, because I shan’t be mugging ‘round topside if my person isn’t. You help me right now, and I’ll bring you to Jasmine. They’ll all come back here, and we’ll have a three-couple wedding. Sound good to you, mate?”
My brother didn’t respond.
Verin sighed. “I need you. Kezia needs you. Jasmine needs you too. Pick her up and bring her out with me. We need to get them somewhere safe. Follow me.”
I didn’t think it would happen, but Zander rose up with Jasmine in his arms. It made my stomach turn, seeing her limp body. They were all limp, and I never wanted to see it again.
When we got through the broken back door, I heard Nemo wailing. It made me lose it, unable to silently cry anymore. I sobbed over the body in my arms and followed Verin to Nemo.
“Hey,” he said to the creature, his voice shaking. “I need a favor. Protect them while we’re gone, okay? I’m gonna bring ‘em back, but I need this from you.”
The hydra dipped his head, but I didn’t know if he understood.
We all laid the bodies on the ground outside, the rain coming down on us. It hit the blood covering us, making it run onto the grass. It washed away so much, and I didn’t like it. It made me forget for a moment that I lost something today. Three somethings that I couldn’t survive without. It made me feel sick, thinking about how I had to leave my love out here.
“I’ll be back to you soon,” Verin said to Juniper. “You can rest, and I’ll clean up the house. We’ll have to get you a new dress. I’m sorry. I would have changed you, but . . . well, it’s okay.”
I had my hand with Jasper’s, staring at his face as the rain came down to soak us. I didn’t want to go away, leaving him again. If I stayed home, then he wouldn’t have died. I could have protected him from whatever stole him from me.
“Luv,” Verin said to me, pulling at my shoulders. I realized the boys had already stood. “I swear to you, this isn’t forever.”
“It feels like it is.”
“Six mountains,” he said. “She promised.”
I stood up and held my hands out in front of me. From beneath us, the ground moved, rumbling with what I called on. Vines broke through, and I told them to cover the bodies. To protect them from whatever might have come. I created a cage of sorts, making sure that nothing else would touch them.
Verin set down a metal bucket and pulled a knife from his pocket. “Don’t be alarmed.”
Before I could ask why, he sliced himself from wrist to elbow, and blood poured out of him like a waterfall. He held his arm
over the bucket, letting it soak into the thing.
I blinked, and then held my arms out for him. “You sure?” he asked.
“Take it all.”
He cut me too, and I didn’t care about the stinging. When my flesh opened, I made sure all the blood got into the bucket. It started filling fast, and then my brother held his arms out too. Verin cut him, and then his other arm, and we stood there as crimson left us.
Our arms healed by the time the bucket had gotten filled, and the rain cleaned us off. I didn’t care about being clean. Verin still had Juniper’s blood all over his clothes, and I tried not to look at it.
He struck a match and dropped it into the bucket. The thing went up with blue fire, and the rain had no power over it. I smelled our blood in the air, taking over my senses completely. Good, because I was sick of smelling other people’s blood. I deserved to bleed.
Faster. I should have gotten home faster. We didn’t need to chat with Medusa as much as we had. I thought they would have been safe at home, and I got proved wrong in the most painful way. I didn’t feel real anymore. I felt like some plastic thing that looked like Kezia. I didn’t want to be real anymore, so that worked out.
He was supposed to get old. I was supposed to need to help him up the stairs, and have people wonder why I constantly held hands with the most handsome old man they had ever seen. I had been promised a lifetime with him, filled with all the things that everyone else got. I wanted the things Verin talked about. A wedding, kids, a future. I decided I could do this, because I would get some time. But my time had been stolen away, and I didn’t know what to do with myself now.
I watched the blood burn away, meant to be like a scream to the god we summoned. Something that they couldn’t ignore, because this wasn’t something we would allow them to let go. They let our seers die, and the gods would hear about it. They would regret every choice they made today, because I would make sure of it. I didn’t care about their world down here, and I would have been more than happy to start burning it down until they listened to me. That, or until they had me killed.
