The Lily and the Crown

by Roslyn Sinclair

  “But tell me,” she breathed in Ari’s ear, curling up behind her until their bodies touched from back to front and Ari thought she might faint from the heat. “What do you know about this? Anything at all?”

  And then her lips stroked down the side of Ari’s throat.

  Assistant’s lips were soft, and between them hid the hot tip of her tongue. Her breath was a warm puff of air. The three elements combined into one experience, the experience of a kiss such as Ari had never known, touching only her neck, but somehow making her scalp tingle and her toes curl. She tried to say something, but all that came out was a sob. Her body felt very strange—she couldn’t breathe normally, couldn’t keep her eyes open, couldn’t stop shaking—and she hurt, her breasts hurt and ached, her nipples were drawing up tiny and tight—

  Assistant let go of her with one hand. Ari gasped, but Assistant only reached over her and turned off the bedside lamp, drowning them in darkness.

  Then Assistant was on her. She rolled Ari over, pinned her beneath her own impossibly warm body, and she kissed Ari, kissed her until she couldn’t breathe.

  Ari had been kissed on the mouth once before, when she was sixteen, by a boy who hadn’t really liked her. She didn’t know if Assistant liked her, either. But she didn’t kiss like the boy had. She kissed Ari with her mouth open, with her tongue, never letting up, never letting Ari breathe or protest—not that Ari wanted to protest.

  Maybe Ari should protest, but no possibility had ever been less appealing in the history of the galaxy.

  When Assistant lifted her mouth, Ari tried to say something to her. But all that came out was “Oh,” a whimpering moan. She’d never made a noise like that before.

  Assistant hissed and kissed her again, and then began touching her nipples through the thin cotton of her nightgown.

  Ari arched up into her pinching, twisting fingers with a strangled gasp and grabbed Assistant by the shoulders, unable to do anything but hold on while Assistant coaxed reactions from her that surely science could never explain. She wriggled and writhed and tried to talk, to beg, but she didn’t know what to beg for and her voice wasn’t working anyway.

  Assistant’s hands slid down from her breasts to her hips, where they seized the skirt of Ari’s nightgown and pushed it up around her waist. She caressed Ari’s skin beneath and passed one palm over her navel.

  “Oh!” Ari gasped, shivering and shocked. Had her abdomen always been this sensitive? Assistant dipped one thumb into her navel, massaged it a little, and Ari throbbed between her legs. Assistant’s palms and fingertips felt cool against Ari’s fevered skin, and dry, too, while Ari was sweating through her nightgown. Was Assistant totally unmoved by this? How could anyone be—

  When Assistant’s hands swept down Ari’s hips and then down to her thighs, her breath caught, and she froze.

  Why? She wasn’t going to stop, was she? Ari croaked, “What’s—what’s wr—”

  “No underwear?” Assistant whispered, which had to be a rhetorical question under the circumstances.

  “N-no. I don’t usually wear—not to bed—”

  “All those nights I’ve been plodding around in the dirt out there, and you’ve been—” Instead of finishing, Assistant slid her thigh, still covered by her night tunic, between Ari’s. She parted Ari’s legs and pressed down against Ari. Now it was between Ari’s legs, and Ari was arching up against it, rubbing against it frantically because she couldn’t help herself. She felt as if she’d lost all control over her own body, which did whatever Assistant told it to do with her mouth and hands. And her words.

  “So responsive,” she purred in Ari’s ear, “yes, yes, do that…”

  Ari arched up against her, moving her hips faster than ever, realizing that she was getting wet and rubbing it all against Assistant’s tunic and making an awful mess.

  “Doesn’t it feel so good?” Assistant asked.

  “Uh…I…uh…” Even if she could talk, Ari would have had no idea how to answer that. Did it feel good?

  No. “Good” wasn’t good enough. She just knew this was turning her into somebody she didn’t recognize and had no control over, and she’d never realized it was somebody she wanted to be. Someone who could be hot, and hungry, and ready but not ready at all—

  “Please,” she cried, not sure what she was asking for. Maybe it was everything, every touch and feeling she’d ever been denied, or had denied herself. Maybe it was what had always been waiting beneath all the thoughts she’d had of protecting Assistant, staying by her side, looking into her eyes and at her beautiful body that suddenly seemed made to press against Ari’s own.

  “Please,” she said again, whimpering it. Maybe Assistant would know what she meant.

  Assistant let go of her breasts, reached down, and cupped Ari’s rear firmly with her astonishingly strong hands. Then she pushed Ari harder against her thigh, moving Ari faster and rougher, bending down to suck and lick at Ari’s throat.

  Ari began to pant harder, feeling like she was one step away from hysteria as she shuddered her way closer and closer to something but close to what, to what?

  “Come now,” Assistant said harshly against her throat. “Come now, for me—”

  Ari had no idea what Assistant was talking about, or how she was supposed to come or go anywhere, but then Assistant pushed Ari up, pressed her thigh down, and began squeezing Ari’s bottom rhythmically. And Ari tossed her head back and wailed as something convulsed inside her, hard and fast, releasing all the trembling and the tension in her body while she writhed and sobbed in orgasm.

  It was better than anything Ari had ever felt in her life. Sort of like the end result of the timid explorations she’d done with her fingers as a teenager, but that were never quite satisfying enough, certainly not enough to distract her from her work or her thoughts.

  This was not that. This was pure ecstasy, a throb that went from between her legs all the way up to her head and all the way down to the tips of her toes. If she could have done that with her fingers, she’d never have stopped, and now she never wanted this to stop, either. This mind-blowing feeling that Assistant was taking such delight in giving her.

  Assistant kept whispering, kept saying, “Yes, like that, exactly like that, yes,” and kept Ari moving against her leg until, incredibly, the ecstasy began to fade.

  Ari simply couldn’t take it anymore and began pressing against Assistant’s shoulders because the convulsions were slowing down, lessening, and the joyful throb beginning to turn into discomfort. Nothing had ever seemed more unfair. Why did it have to end?

  “There,” Assistant said. “There now.” She rubbed her thumb against Ari’s hip. “Very good. Very good indeed.” She kissed Ari’s forehead softly. “Lovely.”

  “Oh.” Ari gulped and then whimpered, “Wow.”

  Assistant chuckled. “Quite.” She kissed Ari’s forehead again. “Shush, now.”

  Now wasn’t the moment to shush, was it? Ari had no idea what to say, but she wanted to say something—ask what on earth Assistant had meant by starting this, or say how amazing it had felt and ask if they could do it again really soon, or say something sweet or funny or clever.

  “I messed up your tunic,” she blurted.

  Then she winced. Shushing would have been a better idea.

  Assistant hummed, stroked her cheek, and rolled off Ari. Without her heat and energy, or that astonishing power, the recycled air of the station suddenly seemed cold. Maybe some of that was the sweat cooling on Ari’s sticky skin. Should she take a shower? The idea of getting out of this bed seemed as unthinkable as going for a stroll through the Exer gas clouds without a protective suit.

  Without meaning to, she made a soft, bereft noise. And Assistant, to her surprise, settled in next to her side and took her in her arms once more.

  “Utterly lovely,” she repeated, sounding very satisfied indeed.

  Lovely? Really? Assistant thought Ari was lovely?

  Ari blinked slowly. It wasn’t getting any e
asier to think. Now that the excitement was over, her body was growing soft and heavy, begging for rest. She should ask something, though. “Why did you do that?”

  Assistant tensed for a moment. “Did I hurt you?” she inquired, threading her fingers through Ari’s hair again.

  “No!” Ari said quickly. That was the last idea she wanted Assistant to get.

  The tension dissipated from Assistant’s frame. She sounded almost teasing when she asked, “Did you dislike it?”

  “No.” Now Ari couldn’t stop herself from giving Assistant an incredulous look, even though Assistant couldn’t see it in the dark. “Did it seem like I did?”

  “The ‘pleases’ didn’t seem to suggest that, no.”

  It could have been embarrassing, but the drawl in Assistant’s voice proved that she hadn’t minded it a bit. Ari felt her lips spread out in a smile that probably looked dopey but that she couldn’t help at all.

  “I liked it,” she managed.

  “Well, then.” Assistant petted her on the shoulder. “We’ll just have to do it again sometime, won’t we?”

  Nothing had sounded better, ever. But even though her body felt great, and exhausted, a few of Ari’s brain cells were starting to wake up. They were clearing their throats and suggesting that maybe Ari and Assistant should talk about this a little more, think it through, and establish what it meant.

  “Oh,” Ari said. “I don’t…I don’t know…” She tried to sound assured. “I don’t know if we should.” She added hastily, before Assistant could get the wrong idea, “That is, until we—”

  “There is no ‘should,’” Assistant said softly. “Not when it comes to this. Forget ‘should.’” She stroked Ari’s back, and Ari shivered. “Trust me,” she murmured. “Trust me.”

  “I do,” Ari whispered, because she did. However sharp-tongued she could be, Assistant had never lied to Ari. She looked out for her. She liked her. And if they were going to start doing this, then Ari could be willing to trust her just that much more.

  Especially if it felt that good all the time.

  Assistant touched her chin, and tilted Ari’s face so that she could kiss her mouth. It was much softer now, much gentler. She didn’t use her tongue. “It will be so good,” she said. “You don’t even know the half of what can be done. Of how I can make you feel.” She kissed Ari again. “There will be no pain. Only pleasure. Trust me,” she repeated.

  Ari’s eyelids were already drooping as she was lulled to sleep by Assistant’s soft words, strong body, and her own exhaustion. She tried to say “Okay” but didn’t quite manage it before she conked out.

  ~ ~ ~

  Ari woke an indeterminate time later to a loud, intrusive noise. She gasped, stiffened, and opened her eyes, in that order. Someone’s arms clung to her waist, someone was spooned up snugly behind her back. Someone was snoring right in her ear.

  Assistant. Ari gasped and blushed as she remembered what they’d done only—um—she squinted at the clock by the bed. Only three hours ago. But she was having a hard time thinking about that, because Assistant was snoring loudly enough to wake a hibernating Theriun bear. Ari hadn’t noticed she’d done that in her alcove. Maybe she was just really tired tonight.

  But it was dangerous to wake Assistant. Ari shivered at the memory. Then again, Assistant’s arms were wrapped securely around her—awfully securely, as if Assistant was making sure Ari wasn’t going anywhere. So she wouldn’t be able to wake up swinging. Still, better safe than sorry. Ari wriggled against her and cleared her throat loudly.

  It worked. Assistant snorted, twitched, and said, “Wha?”

  “You’re snoring,” Ari said.

  “What?” Assistant sounded blank and sleepy. Then, “I am not.”

  “You were too. Right in my ear. You woke me up.”

  “I don’t snore,” Assistant said, still sounding out of it. “Go back to sleep.”

  “I can’t sleep when you snore!” Ari protested. “Here. Let me get up.” She had some ointment that cleared up your sinuses when you smeared it below your nose. Sometimes it helped snoring, too. Or at the very least, she could make it to her cot and sleep there in peace and quiet.

  “No,” Assistant said, and without further ado, tightened her grip, hooked one leg over Ari, and went right back to sleep.

  Ari fought the urge to laugh hysterically. Assistant held her more tightly than any vine wrapped around a tree. Nope, Ari definitely wasn’t going anywhere. And she probably wasn’t getting any more sleep, either.

  But perhaps Assistant had taken Ari’s words to heart after all, because she didn’t snore after that. She just breathed, deeply and regularly, on the back of Ari’s neck, sending tingles down Ari’s spine. Ari, who wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep and stop thinking, couldn’t help remembering Assistant’s breath on her cheek and throat, her throaty voice whispering in Ari’s ear. Her offer of future pleasures that Ari was going to have a hard time refusing.

  Only…why should she refuse? It had been Assistant’s idea. And Assistant had promised not to hurt her. Something about it still felt wrong, though, in a way that had nothing to do with how she felt about Assistant, or even how Assistant might possibly feel about her.

  Talk about questions that would have to wait until morning. In the absence of Assistant’s snoring, and with the memory of pleasure still aching between her thighs, Ari fell into a very deep sleep indeed.

  CHAPTER 8

  In the morning, Assistant was no longer in Ari’s bed, although the spot where she’d lain was still warm. Ari heard her moving around in the kitchen. No doubt she’d already called for breakfast.

  Abruptly, Ari remembered Paxium nollinium and cried out, “Oh!” Then she flew out of bed, straightening her nightgown around her as she bolted into the garden, the cool dirt pressing into her bare feet. She’d neglected him for hours. The stars only knew what…

  Whew. He was okay, though obviously drooping. Ari reached for the nearest watering can with shaking hands. If she’d been just another hour later—really, how careless of her. If anything had happened to Paxium nollinium, she never would have forgiven herself. Or any of her plants. They depended on her for their food and water, their proper upkeep—their lives. She was responsible for them. They were more of a family to her than her father was. Or anybody else, except maybe Assistant, and Ari wasn’t so sure about that, either.

  She didn’t know what Assistant was to her now. A companion, someone to help around the garden, make Ari eat, talk with her—and, apparently, surprise her with brain-melting sex in the middle of the night.

  Last night, all Ari had been able to think about was that she desperately wanted to do that again. Now, in the garden and without Assistant’s arms around her, matters didn’t seem that simple. They weren’t simple at all. Had last night been a mistake? Would it ruin whatever it was she and Assistant already had?

  Right before she’d gone back to sleep, when Assistant had stopped snoring, she’d felt in the pit of her stomach that something about this was not okay. It wasn’t about how good anything felt; it was about something Ari couldn’t name but absolutely had to figure out.

  “What’s wrong?” Assistant demanded behind her.

  Ari jumped about a foot in the air, sloshing water everywhere. It spattered on her feet and ankles. She whirled around to see Assistant, fully dressed and looking like she always did, frowning at her.

  “I heard you cry out,” Assistant said.

  “Oh.” Ari grabbed the watering can tighter. “I realized, when I woke up…” She nodded toward Paxium nollinium. “I almost forgot about him. He wasn’t looking so good.” Quickly, she turned her back to Assistant and poured the water into Paxium’s pot, her hands still unsteady.

  “I almost forgot him,” she repeated.

  “Well, you didn’t.”

  Although Ari didn’t look at her, she figured that Assistant probably understood what Ari was thinking about. She usually seemed to. Would Ari ever be able to return
the favor?

  “Come and have breakfast.”

  Assistant said it as if this was any normal day. Like Ari was just supposed to sit down, eat breakfast, and talk about the garden or whatever the newsfeeds said, instead of thinking about Assistant’s hands on her skin. She looked around frantically until her gaze lighted on a tiny billinallis seedling. “No, I need to take care of this, too. I’ve got too much to do. I’ll eat later. I’ll—”

  Assistant’s hand was cool and firm as it closed around Ari’s elbow and spun her around. Her grip was strong as she tugged Ari into her arms, bent down, and kissed her.

  After one dizzy second, Ari couldn’t think about anything but her mouth, and the way Assistant’s own mouth felt against it—firm and hot. Assistant cradled her chin in one hand, tilting Ari’s head to exactly where she wanted it to be.

  Then she pulled away and nipped softly at Ari’s bottom lip. Ari squeaked and felt Assistant’s smile against her own lips. “You’re delicious,” she said.

  Delicious. Lovely. Since when did Assistant call Ari these things? Maybe it was just the sort of thing everyone said in passionate moments. The sort of thing you had to say.

  Had to. Ari froze against Assistant as she finally figured out what that wrong feeling was.

  When Assistant bent down for another kiss, Ari turned her face to the side, and gasped, “No!” with enough conviction that it stopped Assistant, who looked astonished. That seemed fair enough, given how Ari was practically melting against her.

  “No?” Assistant repeated, her eyebrows drawing together.

  “You’re—you’re a slave,” Ari said softly, looking at Assistant’s chin instead of her eyes. That was good enough for her to see Assistant’s jaw tense. Ari tried not to shove her away as she spoke the words she’d never wanted to say, that it hurt to admit. They were the truth, and this was a moment for truth.

  “And?” Assistant said tightly.