by A. K. Morgen
I’d decided to see this through. I had no illusions that living in this new world would be easy, but I decided. That distinction felt important to me. Everything else in my life had been out of control since my mom died, but in this one way at least, I’d made a decision. I might not have had a choice, fate might have dragged me back had I run in the other direction … but I’d wrested a little control back by deciding to face whatever came my way on my feet. My hold on the reins might have been tenuous, but when life stopped making sense, stopped being logical, you took what you could get.
At noon, I emerged from my room with a spring in my step that I figured Dad would notice as soon as he saw me. I hadn’t thought much about what I’d tell him, but I did know I wouldn’t hide my relationship with Dace from him. Dace and I were both adults. The only responsible thing for us to do was to tell Dad we were dating, but I didn’t want to tell him right away, either. I needed to let our decision settle a little more first.
Regardless of whether we talked about Dace or not, I would spend the day with Dad. We’d spent very little actual time together since I’d arrived, and I felt guilty about it. I may have lost my mom, but he’d lost a great friend. We’d spent even less time actually talking. For so long, I’d been afraid to talk to him, or anyone, afraid to let them see me cry, or to add to his already heavy burden.
Opening up to Dad and talking about Mom and my worries over starting a new semester at a new college didn’t seem like such a “must not do” any longer. In fact, talking to him felt the opposite. As if it were something I most definitely should do. I was supposed to hurt, Dace had said. I think maybe I’d needed to hear that; I’d needed someone to say I could cry and scream and break down and be afraid. I’d held it together for so long already. I’d needed someone to tell me to stop trying so hard, and grieve.
I found Dad in the kitchen, humming along to the Indiana Jones theme rumbling from the little television set in front of him. Aluminum foil covered half of the cabinet between the sink and the stove, with bottles of spices lining the cabinet in neat little rows. A giant roast sat on top of the foil, and enough vegetables to feed a small army were peeled and sitting in bowls to one side.
“Morning,” I greeted him with a smile.
“Morning, hon,” he said, still humming. “Did you have a good time last night?”
“I did,” I replied honestly. I had a great time up until the incident with Ronan and the confusion that came afterward, and not even that ruined my night completely. “Did you guys accomplish much with the renovations?”
Dad snorted before grabbing the bowl of potatoes and turning it upside down on the foil beside the roast. “A pipe burst, and we spent half the day trying to get it fixed. I offered to call a plumber, but Melinda wouldn’t hear of it. She decided we could fix it ourselves and that’s all that would do. You know how she is.”
I smiled. Despite Melinda’s complete ineptitude with a tool of any sort, she was a petite little battle-axe of a woman who hadn’t met a task she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, do. And she did them with so much energy and determination she was more than a little intimidating.
“You got it fixed though?” I opened the fridge then grabbed the pitcher of tea.
Dad nodded and started slicing potatoes. “Took us forever, but they’re fixed, and the natural order of things has been restored. Hall-e-lu-jah.”
I laughed at the way he drew out the word, and poured my tea. “Want some?” I held up the pitcher.
“Got some,” he said, nodding toward the glass sitting on the stove. “Do you have plans tonight?”
“No. I figured I’d hang around here today and catch up with you if you’re going to be home.”
“Good deal. Do you mind company this evening?”
”Company?” I put the pitcher back in the fridge, looking at him over my shoulder. “I don’t mind. Who’s coming?”
”Another professor. I thought I’d have him take a look at the manuscript and see what he thinks.” Dad finished cutting the potatoes then swept them back into the bowl. He hesitated. “I also thought I’d invite Dace as well since he’s the mind behind the madness as it were.”
My heart rate sped up. I hadn’t expected to see Dace today, but I wouldn’t complain. “Um … sounds good,” I answered, nonchalant as possible. “Who’s the other professor?”
“Thomas Edwards. He teaches English and Lit, but he’s great with the mythology stuff, too. You don’t mind?” He scrutinized my expression, seemingly searching for some doubt.
I smiled, trying to reassure him. “I don’t mind. I’m looking forward to meeting him.” And to seeing Dace, I added silently. “What time are they coming?”
“Eh … Edwards usually pops in around seven or so. His wife writes romance and has a group over every other Sunday to chat men and mystery.” Dad chuckled and rolled his eyes dramatically. “We men prefer not to be there for those discussions, you know.”
“I can’t imagine why not,” I teased.
“No clue.” He grinned. “I haven’t invited Dace yet. I wanted to check with you first.” The question in his voice was evident, though I didn’t quite know what he was trying to ask.
I decided right then and there to tell him the truth instead of trying to guess. “I actually spent some time with Dace last night. He’s great, Dad. We decided to go out in a few days.” I looked him in the eye and smiled.
He examined my face for a minute, sighed, and then nodded. “I guess I don’t need to tell you to be careful again, do I?”
“No.” I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “I don’t think you do. But I do appreciate the thought.”
And that easily, Dad knew about Dace. No long, drawn-out conversations. No endless supply of questions. Just instant acceptance.
Chapter Eleven
By six, we’d cleaned, cooked, and chatted the day away. We didn’t talk about much of importance, choosing instead to keep our conversation light and easy. When I headed upstairs to get ready for the evening, I practically skipped, feeling lighter than I had in ages.
I showered and changed, looking forward to seeing Dace, and to meeting Professor Edwards. Dad talked a little about him over lunch, and he sounded like the kind of professor I always loved. The kind of endearing type who fumbled on occasion, but still challenged you to learn.
The doorbell rang while I applied a little blush to my cheeks. I looked more like my old self than I had in weeks. A bit of the sparkle had returned to my eyes. And with the blush, my skin looked less washed out and sallow. I needed to add a few more pounds to my frame and do something with my hair, but I’d take the minor improvements and be happy with that for the night.
I finished up, checked my reflection one final time, and then hurried out of the room, smiling to myself.
Dad met me on the stairs.
My smile fell at the half worried, half preoccupied furrow in his brow.
“Chelle Michaelson is here, Arionna,” he said without preamble, lifting his gaze to mine. “You haven’t heard from her sister, Dani, have you?”
“I haven’t heard from either of her sisters. Why?”
His shoulders slumped. “Chelle says Dani never made it home last night. She’s pretty worried.” He jerked his chin toward the kitchen. “I sent her in there to wait for you. I think she hoped you might know something.”
“Oh.” I looked toward the kitchen, frowning. I hadn’t seen Dani since before the entire showdown with Ronan. Beth or Mandy either, for that matter. “I’ll go talk to her.” I bounded down the stairs, past Dad.
He reached out and put a hand on my arm, halting me.
“Arionna … ?”
I turned toward him, fear creeping in and replacing the butterflies tumbling through my stomach. I knew that tone. And it never, ever boded well.
“I didn’t tell her, but they found a body in the woods out by Jack Carrington’s place about an hour ago. Female. Young. Beat up pretty badly.” He shook his head, his brown eyes clouded wi
th pity. “Melinda called about it a few minutes ago.”
My breath seized in my throat. “You think it’s … ?” I looked toward the kitchen, unable to finish the thought, let alone say it aloud.
“No one has been reported missing that I know of … I don’t know. Maybe.” He shifted, his gaze sliding away from mine.
Dad sucked at lying. He might not have known for certain if Dani had been killed, but he wasn’t expecting the victim to be anyone other than her. The deep furrow in his brow and the way he shifted from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable, left no doubts.
My heart began to splinter along already jagged cracks.
“I’m heading over there now. Stay with her until we know one way or another, okay?” He gave me a quick, tight hug, squeezing me as if doing so relieved him. “You might want to get her other sister over here, too. The Michaelsons are out of town this week. The girls don’t have any other family in the area.”
I nodded once and took a deep breath. I felt numb from head to toe, my mind stuck somewhere between Dani’s name and the possibility that she was lying out there somewhere, dead. Nineteen, like me … far too young.
“I’ll be back soon.” He headed down the last couple stairs then grabbed his coat from the tree. He looked over his shoulder at me, giving me a grim smile. “Love you.”
I stood there for a moment after he’d gone out, praying that the victim wasn’t Dani. I didn’t know her well, but I liked her. No one deserved to die, especially not someone like her. She was so full of life. Like Mom.
What were Chelle and Beth going to do?
How were they going to deal with this if Dad’s fears were confirmed?
Dace.
I think maybe he’d been waiting for me because he leapt to attention in my mind as soon as I thought his name.
You know. Those two words weren’t a question.
Is it her? Is it Dani? I asked, crossing my fingers and praying he told me no.
Where’s Chelle? His worry rippled through me alongside his question, and I knew.
Sweet, vivacious Dani … dead.
I sank down on the step, put my hands on my knees and took a deep breath, my still careening world crashing down around me all over again. Dace’s sorrow stung me like little rubber bands snapping against my skin. Anger and revulsion seethed beneath his grief, tightly contained, but leaking out around the edges. My own anger rose to match his, and I squeezed my eyes closed, taking deep breaths, trying to calm down before a repeat of last night’s emotional overload knocked me unconscious again.
Is Chelle with you, Arionna? His question came slowly, carefully, as if to calm me.
Yes. How was I supposed to hold myself together to be there for Chelle? Mom, Dani … both losses blended until I felt like I truly was going to crack apart. I took another deep breath, spots swimming before my eyes.
Arionna? Dace’s concern whispered through me with my name. Somehow he made me feel as if he was right there, wrapping his arms around me like he had last night. Calming thoughts lapped like gentle waves against my raw emotions.
I continued to breathe for a few minutes.
Dace waited patiently, holding me together.
I’m okay, I let him know when the desire to pass out diminished.
His relief was a soft breeze behind my eyes. I’m coming, Arionna. Tell Chelle to call Beth and Mandy, and her boyfriend, Gage. Lie to her if you have to, but don’t let her leave, and don’t let her find out until Gage gets there. I’ll be there soon, love.
I put my palms over my eyes and sat there for a long moment after he faded into the background, my heart aching. The fact he’d called me love should have mattered, but I couldn’t think about that when I needed to find the composure to get up and walk into the kitchen with a smile on my face.
Sweet, bubbly Dani was gone. How do you smile after learning something like that? How do you smile knowing you’ll have to open your mouth soon and deliver the worst news anyone could possibly hear?
I’d been so furious at the officer who’d come to tell me about Mom. For the first week, I hated him and for no reason other than him being the one to tell me. He’d been able to smile sympathetically as he held his hat in his hands and delivered the blow still tearing at my heart. The blow that would always hurt. Being on the other side now seemed particularly cruel. To be the one who had to deliver news that would break Chelle’s heart as surely as that officer broke mine.
I couldn’t walk away and leave her in the kitchen alone though.
Dace wanted her to call Beth and her boyfriend. We’d focus on that. She’d ask me about Dani, and I’d tell her to call Beth and Gage, that Dad went out to see if he could find out anything for her. I’d take a deep breath and lie through my teeth. And somehow, Dad or Dace would get here in time to keep me from falling apart too.
I dragged myself up from the step and walked on wooden legs to the kitchen. I took another deep breath and stepped inside.
Chelle turned toward me immediately, her eyes wide and worried.
I didn’t smile like that officer had when he visited. I couldn’t. “I haven’t seen her, Chelle,” I said instead, hoping to keep her from asking me. “Dace asked if you’d called Gage yet. He thinks maybe he and Beth and Mandy should come over here”—and then I lied through my teeth—”and we can tag team phoning all of her friends and usual hangouts to see if they know where she is.”
Narrowing her eyes, she cocked her head to the side like Dace did when trying to figure something out. And then her shoulders shook and she nodded.
I think she knew I was trying to divert her attention, but she played along, maybe for the same reason I did. Because the truth was too terrible to put to words.
“I’ll do that,” she said softly.
I nearly sighed; relieved she had something to focus on for the moment. I made my way around the kitchen table and to the coffee pot instead. “Have you eaten anything?”
She fished her phone from her coat pocket. “I’m not very hungry.”
“Coffee?”
“Tea, if you have any.” She flipped open the phone then dialed.
I started making a fresh pitcher. My hands trembled, and I sent up a quick prayer, beyond grateful that she was too occupied with her phone call to notice. I didn’t have another blatant lie in me. Had she asked, I couldn’t have kept pretending I knew nothing about Dani. I would have had to tell her.
I suddenly understood how she must have felt when I’d put her in the middle. I regretted doing that to her more in that moment than I’d ever regretted anything before. She’d spent the last night of her sister’s life trying to take care of me, only for me to repay her with harsh words and stony silence. I felt awful.
She finished her call and then made another.
I couldn’t hear her exact words, but I knew she talked to Beth this time, that she was trying to keep her calm.
My throat burned with unshed tears. I barely knew any of the girls, but I liked all three of them. Chelle especially. She was quiet and wise and gentle. A loyal friend. A quiet port. My heart broke for her and Beth, and for Dani.
Who could possibly want to hurt her? To kill her?
Comfort and concern came pouring through the link between me and Dace again. I’ll be there soon, he said.
I lacked the mental power to offer little more than a weak whisper in response. Hurry, please.
“Beth still hasn’t heard from her.” Chelle flipped her cell phone closed and took a deep, shaky breath. “It’s not like Dani. She always answers if Beth or I call. Something is wrong, Arionna.” Her shoulders shook.
“Have you tried to contact Ronan?”
Dace growled in my head as soon as I said Ronan’s name. I felt a little like growling myself.
“I don’t have his number.” Chelle’s entire body trembled this time.
My heart physically ached at the sight of her trembling with fear. I crossed the kitchen and laid my hand on her shoulder, trying the only way I could
to provide a little comfort. “We’ll figure it out, Chelle.”
“Thank you.” She squeezed my hand. “I didn’t think you’d seen her, but Gage was at work, and I didn’t know where else to go … .”
“I’m glad you came,” I told her, meaning it. I might not have wanted to be the one to deliver that horrible news to her, but knowing she felt comfortable enough to come touched me. I appreciated that she thought of me first when she needed a friend. “When did you see her last?”
Chelle seemed to think about the question for a minute. “When we left the rave. I talked to her for a minute before following you and Dace so he could … .” She shook her head as if she didn’t know why she’d taken over for Dace.
I hadn’t realized he’d been the one to take me to his place. I guess I should have known Chelle hadn’t been able to get me to his house, but the thought hadn’t registered.
“She wondered if Ronan had done something to upset you and wanted to know if you were okay. I told her you had a bad migraine, and Dace was taking you home. She didn’t believe me, but she didn’t pry. She said she hoped you got to feeling better.”
Tears threatened again. I cleared my throat roughly to keep them at bay. “She didn’t come home at all?”
Chelle’s expression fell further. “No. Beth said she got bored after Ronan left and decided to go home early. I thought she was still with Beth, and she thought Dani came home. We didn’t know she was missing until Beth got home from Mandy’s today. And she’s not answering her phone. That’s not like her. She always answers for us.”
I don’t think Chelle even realized that she’d already said that. I didn’t remind her. I squeezed her shoulder in silent support and searched for something else to say, for something else to ask. Nothing came to mind.
My silence didn’t seem to register with her. She simply sat there, staring down at the glass of tea in front of her. I think some part of her already knew things were as bad as she feared. Everyone always says multiples have that sort of instinct about one another. Watching her, I could believe it. She looked exactly how I’d felt in the days after Mom died.
