Once we’d hit all of the places we could, I pointed out the ice cream shop. We sat outside at a small white table and ate our ice cream cones as we watched people pass by.
“I love this.” Abby smiled as a big gob of ice cream slid down her chin.
“Ooh, mine is really yummy too.” I wiped the ice cream from her chin.
“No, not the ice cream. I like that too. I love this—seeing everything and being with you and Daddy.”
“I love it too.” I took a lick of my ice cream cone and leaned back in my chair. It warmed my heart to think that Abby valued spending time with us as much as we did with her.
“Me too,” Max agreed.
After we’d finished our ice cream, we took the ferry back to the other end of the bridge.
Abby pointed out the different sea life she spotted and asked tons of questions about how the boat worked. I answered what I could, and what I couldn’t, I looked up on my phone.
By the time we stepped off the ferry, I knew more about it and its mechanics than I’d ever known before.
We found ourselves right next to several carnival-style rides. While Abby enjoyed herself, Max and I watched from the sidewalk.
“She’s so brave, isn’t she?” Max smiled and waved to her as she boarded a small roller coaster. “I think at her age, I was probably scared of these things.”
“It’s not just this. She’s brave about everything. It’s like she has no fear.”
“Do you think it’s just the age? Or do you think she’s naturally this way?”
“I don’t know. I think she gets it from her daddy.”
“Me? No, I don’t think I’m that brave.”
“I think you are.” I looked into his eyes. “Every time I’ve been afraid of something, you’ve encouraged me to overcome that fear.”
“You do the same for me.”
“Now and then, maybe. But you—you helped me to be brave enough to create this life for us. That’s something I never could have done without you by my side.”
“It’s a beautiful life, isn’t it? We’re so lucky to be able to spend this time with her and with each other.”
He slid his arm around my waist and we watched as Abby waved her hands in the air and pretended to scream on the roller coaster.
On the way back to the house, I was certain that Abby would be tired out. She rested her head on my arm and her breathing grew heavy. Max winked at me. I smiled back. After a fun day exploring with Abby, I was eager to spend some time with Max.
When we reached the house. Abby stayed awake long enough for a quick dinner, then she fell asleep on the couch.
“I’ll take her to bed.” Max scooped her up.
I kissed her forehead, then he carried her past me into the small bedroom. While Max tucked her in, I poured us both a glass of wine. I froze when I heard Abby wake up. But then:
“Alright, I’ll lie with you for just a little while.”
I smiled when I heard Max’s voice giving in to her. She was sure to be fast asleep in no time after the busy day we’d had.
I sat down with my glass of wine and took a few sips. As my body relaxed, I closed my eyes for just a moment.
When I opened them again two hours had passed. I was flooded with guilt as I realized I’d slept through my time with Max.
When I ducked my head into the bedroom, I found our bed empty. I peeked in the smaller room and discovered that I wasn’t the only one who’d slept through our time. Max must have dozed off while he’d been waiting for Abby to fall asleep. Our plan was to tire her out, but we’d succeeded in tiring ourselves out as well.
I stood in the doorway for a moment and gazed at my husband and daughter. In that moment there was no question in my mind that I was the luckiest person on earth. I had everything I could dream of, and the immense gratitude I felt was overwhelming.
I managed to tuck myself in on the other side of Abby and fell right to sleep beside them both.
Chapter 14
I woke to the sound of Max’s voice.
“Sammy, are you awake?”
“I am now.” I smiled at him.
Abby was still sound asleep between us.
“I’m sorry about last night.” He frowned.
“Don’t be. I fell asleep too. I guess we all had a pretty adventurous day.”
“Yes, we did. It’s just past sunrise—maybe we can sneak in a few minutes on the patio before she wakes up?”
“Sounds great. I’ll grab us some coffee.”
As I got the pot brewing Max joined me in the kitchen. “So, I know that you wanted to experience the outback.”
“Right, I thought we could take a tour or something.”
“I wanted to surprise you. So I went ahead and booked a three-day camping tour with a hot air balloon ride at the end.”
“What?” My eyes widened. “Three days? Camping?”
“See, I knew you’d love it.” He grinned.
“No, this is shock.” I pointed to my face. “This is not love.”
“What’s not to love?” He furrowed a brow. “I thought you would enjoy it.”
“Sure, maybe if it was just you and me. But we’re talking about camping for three days with Abby—with a five-year-old. How is that going to be fun for any of us?”
“Abby likes to camp.”
“Overnight. Maybe two nights. Not three days—and through the outback? It’s going to be hot, and there will be wild animals. How are we going to keep her safe?”
“We’re her parents, Sammy, we’ll keep her safe.”
“Oh, really? I fall off surfboards and you get your body parts stuck in railings!”
“Sammy.” He laughed and rolled his eyes. “I think you’re being a little paranoid here.”
“Is it paranoid of me to worry about some kangaroo hopping off with Abby in its pouch?” As I heard the words leave my mouth, I already knew the answer.
Max struggled to keep a straight face.
I couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Okay, so maybe I’m a little paranoid. But you really should have talked to me about this first. It’s just not a good idea.”
“Why not?” He took my hands. “What are you afraid of?”
“She’ll get tired, she’ll get bored, she’ll throw tantrums.”
“So?” He shrugged. “It’s part of life to get tired and bored, isn’t it? Besides, I don’t think she’ll be bored. She loves to learn things, and this will be an amazing opportunity for her to learn all kinds of things. Just think what she can share with her class when school starts back up. She’ll be able to tell them all about the outback.”
“I know it would be a great experience for her, Max, I’m just not sure she’s ready for it.”
“Is it you or her that isn’t ready?” He picked up his cup of coffee. “It’s so easy to look at her as just a little girl, Sammy, but I think she’s shown us both that she has a wide-open mind. Why are we limiting her?”
“Why? Because she’s our little girl. Because she could get hurt, and I would never forgive myself.” I carried my cup of coffee out onto the patio.
Max followed behind me.
“Don’t think I’m not afraid of losing her too, Sammy. I can’t even watch the news anymore. But we can’t shelter her because of our fear.”
“Maybe not.” I took a sip of my coffee and closed my eyes as I recalled the moment I’d decided to go after the koala that stole her stuffed bear. If I hadn’t done that out of fear, she wouldn’t have experienced the koala giving it back to her. “I guess you’re right, Max. We might never come back here, and to have her miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime experience just because I’m afraid wouldn’t be right.”
“Look, we don’t leave until tomorrow. Let’s keep the reservation for now. We can always cancel it later today if we decide to.”
“Okay. I do think it’s sweet that you wanted to surprise me. I’m sorry if I didn’t react the way you were hoping.”
“It’s alright. I understand why. Some
times I get these grand ideas and I don’t always think them through.”
“It is a grand idea.” I smiled at him. “I think we’re going to have a great time.”
“If we go.” He winked at me.
“Go where?” Abby hopped right up into my lap.
“Oh, look at you. I didn’t know you were awake. Don’t you ever sleep?” I grinned.
“I slept. Now I want to play!”
“I bet you do. Maybe we could have some breakfast first?”
“Can I have ice cream?”
“I thought we were eating healthy?”
“Maybe I can have ice cream for breakfast and then breakfast for dessert?”
“I don’t think so.” Max chuckled. “Besides, I like looking forward to my ice cream at the end of the day.”
“What do you say you have some cereal and then we’ll head to the zoo?”
“A zoo? Great!” She clapped her hands. “I can’t wait to see all the animals.”
After we had breakfast I helped Abby get dressed. “Would you like me to brush your hair for you?”
“Will you put it up, please?”
“Sure. How would you like it?”
“Pigtails!”
“Okay, you got it.” I combed her hair into pigtails then handed her a mirror to take a look.
“I like it!” She tugged at one of the pigtails. “Am I pretty like you, Mommy?”
The question startled me for a few reasons. One, I didn’t like the idea that she already wanted to classify herself as pretty. Two, I didn’t really consider myself pretty, so I wasn’t sure how to answer her. Yet there she was with a sweet smile and wide curious eyes waiting for an answer.
“Yes, my love, you’re beautiful. But remember, you don’t have to look any certain way to be beautiful. You’re beautiful no matter what, and what’s always most important is that you’re beautiful on the inside.” I put my hand lightly on the center of her chest as I spoke the words.
“I know that, silly.” She laughed and kissed my cheek.
The way she spoke inspired a wide smile.
Abby didn’t have the slightest doubt in her beauty. She knew who she was and she wasn’t afraid to take giant risks. My little girl was the type of person I hoped I would grow to be. Now all I had to do was keep her from losing that confidence.
Chapter 15
Abby seemed to have a special connection with each animal that we visited. She told me all about the special qualities of the animal, such as their claws, teeth, and thick fur. Some of the information she got right, some was a little outlandish, and the rest was made up. But the most important thing to me was that she was excited and eager to learn.
I found it hard to believe that she would have any trouble in school considering how responsive she was to the information I gave her. But then learning about a kangaroo was far different than learning to read. Perhaps she only excelled in the moment because she had an interest in the subject.
When we stopped in the gift shop, I picked up a book about kangaroos. It was a bit above her reading level, but I thought we could practice with it.
We ate lunch at a restaurant in the zoo that had giant paintings of animals on the walls.
“So, Abby, now that you’ve seen all of these animals, are koalas still your favorite?”
“I don’t know. I really like the kangaroos too. Maybe I can have more than one favorite?”
“Of course you can. What do you think, Max? What’s your favorite animal?”
“I’m rather fond of that sea gull we met on the beach yesterday.” He smiled and reached across the table to pat my hand.
“Not me!” I laughed. “He was a little thief.”
“He just wanted to see your pretty face.”
“Mommy, do you think that animals get sad too?”
I looked over at Abby and nodded. “I think so. Maybe not exactly like we do, but yes, I think they get sad.”
“But they’re so lucky.” She sighed.
“Lucky?” Max turned his attention toward her. “How so?”
“They get to do whatever they want. They wake up when they want. They sleep when they want. They don’t have to go to school or work or brush their teeth.”
“Do those things make you sad, Abby?”
“Sometimes.” She shrugged. “I just think it would be fun to be an animal. Then I could go anywhere and explore anything.”
“What kind of animal would you be?” Max smiled. “Something that flies, maybe?”
“Maybe.” She looked down at her food and took the last bite of it.
I sat back in my chair as Max and Abby discussed the advantages of being different animals. He saw an opportunity to challenge her knowledge. I saw a window into my child’s psyche.
Already at five she knew she wasn’t free, not like the animals. She knew she had rules to follow and places that she had to go. She had to wake up at a certain time and go to sleep at a certain time. She didn’t get to choose where she went or what she explored. She didn’t even get to decide what she was going to eat. Her entire life was preprogrammed for her based on what her parents, teachers, and society thought was best for her. But was it?
“Ready, Sammy? We still have more animals to see.” Max’s voice brought me back to reality.
I nodded and gathered up the trash from our lunch.
As we walked along I couldn’t stop the debate in my mind. If, as an adult, I’d taught myself to embrace life—to trust and to basically unlearn so much of what my childhood had engrained in me—why was I teaching my daughter the same things?
When she got a few feet ahead of us, I bit my tongue and didn’t call her back. I watched as she raced straight for the enclosure that she wanted to see.
Nothing disastrous happened.
“Abby—”
“Wait, Max.” I slipped my hand into his. “Look at her.”
“She’s pretty far away, Sammy.”
“And she’s just fine. Isn’t she?”
“Yes, but anything could happen.”
“But it’s not.” I squeezed his hand as we caught up with her.
I’d become very aware that the majority of Abby’s tantrums were demands for her freedom. Of course that didn’t mean I should give in to them, or that the behavior should continue, but I understood now why she got so very angry.
I’d be angry too, if someone told me that I had to wear pants when I wanted to wear shorts—if every time something piqued my interest, I was pulled away from it and directed to something else.
“What did you find, Abby?”
“Wallaby!” She pointed to the animal and laughed. Then she began to mimic the animal’s movements.
I joined in and mimicked the movements as well.
When we walked to the next enclosure Abby released a blood-curdling shriek. I had to clamp my hands over my ears. I wasn’t the only one. Other people near us covered their ears as well.
“What’s wrong, Abby?” Max frowned.
“Monster!” She pointed into the enclosure.
I looked past the wired fence and saw what looked like a porcupine with a strange long nose.
“It’s not a monster, honey, it’s an echidna.”
“No, it’s scary!” She jumped up into Max’s arms.
I was surprised to see that she wasn’t so brave when it came to some things.
“It’s just like a spiny anteater, that’s all.” I smiled at her. “Remember the anteaters that suck up ants?”
“Yes.” She hid her face in Max’s shoulder.
“Well, this is just like that. It’s nothing to be afraid of, I promise.”
“It looks like the monster in one of my books.”
“But the monster in your book is just pretend. This animal is real and its not going to hurt you. It’s just minding its own business. See?” I pointed to the animal as it waddled off. “It’s busy.”
“Oh.” She lifted her head and looked toward the animal again. “Where’s it going?”
/> “I’m not sure. Do you want to find out?”
“Yes.”
Max put her down on the ground and Abby followed me over to the fence. We watched as the animal hid beneath a shelter of rocks.
“See, Abby, he’s scared too.”
“Aw, do you think my scream scared him?”
“I think it might have.” I grinned.
“Poor thing. I’m sorry!” She waved to the animal.
As we continued through the rest of the zoo, Abby was friendly to all the animals and careful not to scream.
When we left the zoo it was already dark. We’d spent so much time there, and I hadn’t even realized it.
Abby was hungry, so we stopped at a small cafe before heading back to the house.
She was sound asleep on Max’s shoulder as we walked up to the front door.
Max settled her in her bed and she didn’t wake up.
As I was putting away the souvenirs from the zoo, Max grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into the bedroom.
Chapter 16
“Max, wait a minute!” I laughed.
“Sh, don’t you dare wake her.” He kissed me with such passion that I could barely catch my breath before he tugged me down onto the bed with him.
“Max, settle down.” I laughed again and he flopped back on the bed with a growl.
“You’re killing me, Sammy.”
“Am I?” I kissed his cheek, then the side of his neck.
He opened one eye and looked at me. “Now you’re confusing me.”
“I just wanted to talk for a minute.”
“Oh. Alright.” He turned toward me. “Talk away.” He began to unbutton my shirt.
I rolled my eyes and tried not to be distracted by his wandering touches. “I think we should do it.”
“I know—that’s kind of my point here.” He kissed my collarbone.
“No, not that. I mean, we should go on the camping trip—on the tour.”
“Oh.” He took a deep breath in the curve of my neck. “Mm-hm.” He nuzzled my ear.
“I really think it’ll be good for Abby—”
“Sammy.” He flopped back against the bed again.
Christmas Down Under (Single Wide Female: Happily Ever After #1) Page 5
