by Hazel Hunter
“Then last night…”
Against her will, Gillian shuddered.
“That’s what happens when I touch people with my hands,” she said. “I can pick up images of who they are, what they’ve done, things like that. It’s only happened a handful of times, and each time, it was a major invasion of privacy that made me feel ill. It was terrible.”
“You learned all about that Templar’s life?”
Gillian nodded, pressing even closer to Shayne.
“It was terrible. He was nothing but anger. If he hadn’t been a Templar, he would have been something equally as nasty, just directed at some other group. His entire life was nothing but anger from start to finish.”
She turned to face Shayne.
“Did you kill him?”
“I did.”
Gillian thought for a moment. There was the revulsion and pity she felt for the fact that a man had lost his life, but she had been in that man’s head, been next to his soul.
“Good,” she whispered.
They were silent together for a long period of time. The morning grew brighter. Vlasti appeared briefly to investigate, but apparently found them dull. Shayne’s familiar winged off into the woods after ascertaining they were safe.
“Do I want to know what you know about me?”
Shayne’s voice was thin and tense.
“What?” Gillian blinked in surprise.
Shayne wasn’t looking at her. There was a tension to his body that hadn’t been there before. He had the look of a man who was braced to hear the worst.
“What do you know about me?” he asked. “I…have done things that I am not proud of. I think everyone has. But some of them are dark. Maybe they are as dark as what you saw in that Templar’s soul.”
Gillian turned to face him fully.
“What on earth are you talking about?” she exclaimed. “I’ve never touched you…with…”
She trailed off as she realized that her hand was bare. She remembered the way the Templar had ripped the glove off. She jerked back from Shayne as if she had been burned.
“I…my glove, I need it…”
Shayne pointed, and she realized that the glove had been neatly placed on the ground next to where she had been sleeping. She pounced on it, sliding her hand back into it with a hiss of relief.
“Are you all right?”
She nodded shakily. “I am. I just haven’t gone bare handed around other people for years. I–” She stared intently at him. “Did you touch me?”
Shayne winced.
“You touched me,” he said. “When you were unconscious, you reached for my hand. You held it very hard for a while, and then, after you calmed down a little, you let it go. I’m so sorry, Gillian. If I had known what your power was or how it would affect you, I would never…”
She shook her head slowly. She realized she was still holding the hand that had been bared. She made herself let go of it.
“No, there was nothing like that at all. I don’t remember holding your hand. Even if it had happened without my notice, though, I would still have the memories. I would have them for you, just as I had them for that Templar. And…I just don’t.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
Something like relief stole across Shayne’s face. It made her smile a little.
“Do you have so many dark secrets that you need to keep from me?” she asked.
Shayne smiled at her with something like his old careless charm.
“Not so many secrets to hide from you, simply the person I am,” he said. “You can ask me anything you like, and I’ll tell you as much of the truth as I can. There are simply dark parts here and there.”
Gillian smiled at him, but then the grin faded.
“My skill is excellent for my work, for the research I do. Many times I can figure out if an artifact is a fake simply by touching it. What happened with that Templar…” She shrugged. “It’s never been so intense before.”
“Do you think it will be all right?”
“I don’t know. Whenever I think of his memories, they’re right there. I don’t know what to do if they don’t fade.”
Shayne tentatively put his arm around her. The gentleness of the motion surprised her, as did the care that he used.
“Well, we’ll figure it out. I have to get you to Tenebris after all. This first step is just proving a little challenging.”
“Do I even want to know what’s going to qualify as really tough?”
Shayne’s laugh washed over her like sunlight.
“It involved a forced march on no sleep, fleas in every piece of clothing I owned, and a very angry man who came at me with what looked like tiger-claw, brass knuckles. So while this isn’t fun, I’ve had worse. I’d be lying if I said that the company didn’t help too.”
He brushed a butterfly-soft touch across her cheekbone, making her smile in surprise.
“Was that all right?”
“From you, yes,” she said softly. “Anything but my hands, unless my gloves are on. But after that, yes.”
Shayne’s grin was a little darker now. There was a new energy to his body. He leaned in, and then just as quickly, he pulled back. She had to kill the tiny rush of disappointment.
“Later,” he said. “Right now, I want to start walking again. We have a lot of ground to cover.”
“But later?” she asked, only half joking.
When she had felt that wave of desire roll off him, a part of her had responded in a way that startled her.
He hesitated. Instead of standing up, he slid his hand down over her side and settled it on her hip. He brought her close. Now she could feel the hard length of his body. It reminded her of the dream she’d had, and sent a delicious fire straight to her belly.
His mouth touched the curve of her cheek, then the point of her chin. Then it landed on the pulse point at her throat. He lapped at her delicate skin. Then she felt the silver-sharpness of his teeth there. He nibbled and suckled at the skin, taking her right to the point of pain and hovering there. The sensation of his teeth and the feel of his body next to hers made her squirm. She needed more. She needed him. She felt as if she were overflowing with sensation and desire. She wanted to feel his body between her legs. She wanted to be as close to him as two people could get.
When he drew away, Gillian couldn’t look away from how red his lips were. There was a faint throbbing where his mouth had been. She touched her neck gently with wondering fingers.
“You marked me,” she said with faint indignation.
“I did,” he said with a mischievous grin. “I wanted to see my mouth on you whenever I looked at you today.”
When he put it like that, she felt her face go red with embarrassment mixed with arousal. The thought of being marked as Shayne’s made her want to roll over and take him. Instead, she grumbled and allowed herself to be helped to her feet. They broke camp, and began their walk down the river.
As she walked, though, Gillian quickly realized that she was in trouble. The red mist of rage was still present. Sitting with Shayne had dissipated it for a moment, but the minute they began to walk it was back. Now that she knew it was there, she noticed how it was trying to affect her. It told her that she was angry, that she was suffering, that everything in the world had conspired to make her miserable. It turned up old memories that she had thought long buried. It made every offhanded slight a purposeful insult. Gillian felt her anger mounting up, higher and higher, until she thought that she would scream. It was all she could do to keep her mouth shut.
Shayne glanced at her once in a while. She wondered if he could tell the battle that she was fighting. The fact that he might not have been aware contributed to her rage. She knew it was illogical, but that didn’t help. By the time the sun was high in the air, she was ready to scream from the sheer weight of the boiling emotion.
They stopped for water and for more of the protein bars that Shayne had. She took hers in silence. She
only nodded when Shayne told her to take a seat on a boulder, and that he was going to look around for some food. Their supplies were all right, especially if he could catch another fish, but they’d need more than that soon.
Gillian sat on the rock feeling as if the world was going to crash down on her. She felt too hot, as if she was feverish. She wanted to cry and scream all at once.
I want to kill someone.
The thought was ice cold and shocking. It made her lurch to her feet, staring at the running water in a panic.
I need to get away from this, she thought frantically. I can’t be like this, I just can’t. I can’t have this thing in me.
There was something ugly in her mind. It told her that she didn’t have to live like this, she could simply plunge herself into the water. She could let the cold depths take her. Shayne wouldn’t mind. He would be relieved she was gone. He would be grateful he didn’t have to deal with a bitch of a witch like her. The foreignness of the thoughts finally broke through to her. These weren’t her thoughts, but they were powerful. Now tears were streaming down her cheeks. She needed something to break the cycle, something that would make the thoughts go away.
She shoved her fingers through her tangled hair restlessly. Almost by chance, Gillian touched the bite mark on her neck. The careless touch made the throbbing start up again. The potent mix of pain and pleasure drew some of the poison from her soul. It reminded her that Shayne was there. He cared about her. Even if she was just a mission, he would see this through to the end. The throbbing made her think of his smile, his laugh, and the way he felt next to her.
“Gillian?”
She looked up to see him standing there, his expression concerned. There was nothing there but curiosity and care. She was barely aware that she had risen to her feet, before she threw herself into his arms.
“Make it go away,” she said softly. “Please, Shayne, I need it to go away.”
For a moment, his holding her was enough. It was enough to feel his arms around her and the mass of his body against hers. Then it became too stultifying, too binding, and she pushed away.
Though he released her, Shayne kept his hand on her shoulder.
“All right, sweetheart, what do you need?”
Gillian laughed slightly. She heard the slight tone of hysteria in her voice. She cut it off, shaking her head.
“I don’t know,” she whispered. “I don’t know. All I know is that there’s this…this anger in my head. Oh Shayne, it needs to go somewhere. I can’t deal with this. This hurts. I can’t.”
“All right, let’s see what we can do. Will you take off your clothes for me?”
Gillian stared at him, slightly shocked. Chagrined, Shayne shook his head.
“Give me a little credit. I like my lovers willing and firmly of their own minds. I just want to bathe you. You feel hot to the touch, and that might help a little. Go ahead and leave your gloves on. Even if I didn’t trigger that response before, that’s not something I want to take a chance with.”
Silently, Gillian stripped down. She paused at her underwear, but after a moment, the feeling of being entirely stripped bare was too tempting. She knew that there was a slight chill to the autumn day. It barely registered against her skin that felt too tight, too hot. At this point, it felt as if she was beyond words. All she could do was fend off the red rage in her head as best as she could while staring at Shayne imploringly.
Help me, she would have said if she could.
Even if the plea went unvoiced, it was clear that Shayne understood. He came to her, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.
“All right, beautiful. You’re going to feel right as rain.”
He put down the folded parachute on a large rock that stuck out over the river. He helped her sit down on it. From where she sat, she could dangle her legs in the water. For a moment, that comforted her. When she tried to lean towards the water, Shayne held her back.
“Here, let me. It’s all right.”
She watched mutely as he removed a slightly tattered but still clean white handkerchief from his pocket. He soaked it in the cool water, wringing it out. When he touched the damp, cool cloth to her face, she nearly moaned with relief. This was what she had wanted. This was enough to drive back that red rage.
“Yes, please, yes,” she murmured.
Gillian surrendered herself to Shayne’s touch. It was everything that she could have wanted. The coolness of the water made her skin feel like it was hers again. She could feel the grime and dried sweat of the last few days being washed away. The rage was held off by the shock of the cold and the care in Shayne’s touch. The cloth dipped into the water again and again. It swiped her limbs clean, gliding with gentle thoroughness over the rest of her body. She sighed as it slid along her neck and under her arms, underneath the curve of her heavy breasts and down along her hips. In the cold, her nipples tightened. The pleasure was unexpected, but it helped push her farther away from the pain that had consumed her.
Her eyes were open, staring at nothing at all. She felt as if every bone in her body had melted, leaving behind something purer, sweeter and surer.
“How are you feeling?”
Shayne’s words didn’t break her out of her reverie. Instead, they only brought him into it. Shayne was here, as much a part of the soothing calm that she felt as anything else.
“Amazing,” she whispered. “I feel good. I feel far above everything. I feel as if I could float right up into the sky.”
Shayne’s warm chuckle vibrated through her.
“Well that’s good. That’s better.”
“I’ll be up in a moment,” she whispered. “I will be. Just let me be here for a little bit longer, maybe. Just a little bit longer, a little bit more?”
“We can stay as long as you need to, sweetheart. We’ll figure something out. I’m not afraid of these woods, and I swear that you don’t have to be either. You’ll be fine. Just get yourself together.”
He had put away the cloth now. Instead, it was his hands that ran over her skin. It was warmer, more intimate. He moved from gentle slides to a soft massaging motion that filled her with pleasure. It felt good to let herself go like this, to simply float while Shayne created exciting sensations in her body.
After several long moments, he drew back. Gillian sat up, shielding her eyes and looking overhead. The sun was closer to the horizon than it had been before.
“I’ve kept us from the trail,” she said unhappily.
Shayne shook his head.
“If you had been walking like that the whole way, trouble would have found us. You would have walked between a bear and her cub, or you would have missed your footing and ended up sprawled down in a ravine. This was better.”
“Really?”
Shayne’s grin was as sly as it was warm.
“Are you going to seriously ask me whether I prefer the idea of roving through the bracken or running my hands over your body?”
Gillian knew that she was grinning like a loon. Turning, she started to slip her clothes on. They were still filthy, but she found she could bear it now that she herself was clean. She turned back to find that Shayne was stripping instead.
“What are you doing?”
“Well, it did you a world of good, so I thought I might wash up myself. I don’t actually like smelling like campfire and sweat.”
He looked as if he were perfectly innocent of the way his naked body would affect her. He stripped with all the graceful carelessness of an ancient Greek athlete, and after a moment, she realized that he had a build to match. He was firmly muscled, his body a weapon. She caught a glimpse of his cock, soft between his legs, before she turned away, blushing.
Shayne’s laughter was teasing. Then there was a splash as he entered the water. He moved swiftly to the center where the water was the deepest, ducking under and coming back up with his hair black and sleek.
Gillian seated herself on a rock to watch him, her knees pulled up to her chin. There was
something primal about seeing him like this. He was entirely bare and unaffected, as wild as the creatures who came to drink from the water. There was nothing that told her he was a Magus Corps officer or her escort. In the midst of this wilderness, he was only a man.
As Gillian watched, she could feel a different kind of heat steal over her. It wasn’t rage this time. Instead it was hunger. She had never been easy to arouse. A few careful experiments after her awakening had proved to be unsatisfactory. She hadn’t given up on the idea of finding the kind of fulfillment that some of the witches spoke of, but it had never been a priority. Some part of her, the part shaped by her years on her own, hungry and wary, hung back. It was afraid of giving up any kind of power. It feared the strength that a man, especially a man as powerful as Shayne, could have over her.
I don’t have to give that control to him, she thought abruptly.
At that moment, she didn’t know whether that was her or the ghost of the Templar. She didn’t care. All she knew was want.
Shayne rose up out of the water, coming towards her with a smile. He opened his mouth to speak, but then she was on him, her body pressed against his. This close, it was impossible to escape how much larger he was than her. It didn’t matter though.
“I’m going to touch you,” she said softly, running her hand down his wet chest.
She saw with pleasure that his nipples hardened right away. When she ran her hand down his six pack, she could tell that his cock noticed as well.
“All right,” he said, his eyes smoky with desire. “Let me–”
“No, come here instead. Lie down.”
She could feel the sharp intake of breath, but he did as she said. He stretched himself on the rock where she had lain earlier. With the light of the sun hitting him, he was so beautiful. Gillian ran her hands over his body. Where his touch had been gentle and caring, hers was deliberately sensual. She felt his body twitch. When he started to reach for her, she pressed his hands down.
“Let me.”
“All right, darling, whatever you want.”
