“That’s bullshit and you know it. But thanks.”
A part of me believed what I said. Another part of me whispered that Carley liked cute, popular guys. Basically, moody Samuel Cheshire to a T. Nick was just too nice.
“Someday girls will appreciate the nice guy I am,” Nick muttered. Before I could tell him that Carley appreciated him already, he got up and walked to the car. It was another five minutes before Carley showed up.
“Ready?” she demanded. She’d fixed her makeup and changed into a different shirt. “I don’t seem like I’m trying too hard, do I?” she asked, looking herself up and down.
“No, you’d never look like that,” I said. She missed the sarcasm in my voice, because she just raced to the car without waiting for an answer.
Nick didn’t say much on the drive over, but Carley didn’t notice because it was such a short trip. The whole way there she talked about Samuel Cheshire’s love life, or at least what she knew about it. I realized that it made me really uncomfortable to hear about it.
“Apparently Susan has always had a thing for him, but it’s like forbidden or something,” said Carley, rolling her eyes. “Seriously, if there was a guy that looked like Samuel Cheshire interested in my daughter or sister, I would be all for it.”
“You just want him to be cute?” Nick demanded.
Carley rolled her eyes. “He’s not just cute, Nick. He’s also smart, and athletic, and talented.”
“You don’t know that,” said Nick hotly. “He could be a real ass.”
“You’re friends with him,” Carley pointed out. Nick muttered something I couldn’t hear. It sounded like “girls are ridiculous,” but I wasn’t sure.
I couldn’t help myself. I asked the question I knew would drive me crazy if I didn’t have the answer to it. “Did Samuel like Susan back?”
“Not that I heard,” said Carley, shaking her head so that her blond curls hit the side of her headrest. “I really don’t think I’ve ever heard of him with a girl. I’ve just heard of girls trying....”
“Right,” I said, sitting back in the seat. Somehow I had never believed that Samuel didn’t date, that he truly wasn’t interested. But apparently what I had heard was true. He just hung out with his friends and family and that was enough. At least until I came along.
Now I wasn’t even sure what was going on with that. I knew he felt guilty about his mother, but he hadn’t said anything else about my choosing, or being with him instead of Holt. Maybe it was because Holt had left and Samuel didn’t want to remind me. I could appreciate that, because being reminded hurt, even though I thought about it all the time already.
The gates swung open soundlessly when we reached the front entrance, and Carley cooed in surprise. “There he is,” said Carley.
I was amazed that after seeing Samuel for the whole summer, Carley still got excited. It must have something to do with the Fairy thing, I thought. He wasn’t that exciting on his own, was he?
As usual he was dressed casually in khaki shorts and a dark t-shirt that made his bright blue eyes all the more brilliant.
“Hey,” he said, coming down the front steps.
“Hey,” said Nick.
Carley came dashing around the front of the car. “We brought you popcorn,” she said, grabbing the bag from Nick’s hand and presenting it to Samuel.
“Thanks,” he said. “We’ll make it before we watch the movie. Hey, Autumn.”
He barely looked at me when he said it. I had that old familiar feeling of cold, even though he had been so nice the last time I was at his house. But that had been before he started spending the night and before the argument about my safety. I knew I should apologize for what I had said, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Especially not in front of Nick and Carley.
Samuel led us into the house. This time I was prepared for his grandmother, even half hoping she’d be standing there with her gray cane. She would scare Nick and Carley, and Samuel would see that it wasn’t just me who frightened easily. But she was nowhere to be seen.
Relieved in spite of myself, I followed my friends into the living room. It was exactly as I had remembered it, only this time Carley was there to comment on everything from the furniture to the lighting, all the stuff I hadn’t paid any attention to. Samuel was happy to talk to her about all of it, which left Nick and me looking at the movie collection.
“I want to watch something bloody,” said Nick.
“No way,” Carley called from the other side of the room, where she and Samuel were looking out the big back windows at the yard.
Nick rolled his eyes and kept looking.
“How about Pirates of the Caribbean? Already a classic,” he said.
Carley vetoed that too.
“If you want to pick which movie we’re watching, come over and do it,” Nick said.
“Why are you in such a rotten mood?” Carley asked, walking over with Samuel following.
Nick didn’t say anything. It was obvious that Carley’s flirting and her worry about what Samuel thought of her bothered Nick, but also that Nick either couldn’t or wouldn’t say anything to Carley about it.
We ended up watching Die Hard. I think Nick insisted on it out of revenge, and Samuel liked the idea. I didn’t mind watching an action movie, but I didn’t join in the argument. If Samuel hadn’t been there she would have had a fit when she didn’t get her way, which would have been to watch The Wedding Date. As it was, she sat in a huff for the first half of the movie, until Samuel asked her to help him make popcorn and get drinks. After that Nick and I could hear her laughing all the way in the kitchen.
“It’s like we’re on a date,” he said to me. He looked so unhappy about it I almost laughed.
“It’s nice Samuel is cheering her up,” I said.
Once the movie was over we just hung out and chatted. Nick and Samuel had spent a lot of time together that summer. It turned out they were both very good with computers, and they’d disappear for hours on end doing complicated things that Carley and I didn’t understand or care about.
At first I hadn’t been sure how I felt about their being friends. Part of me wanted to keep Samuel as far away as possible, because I felt like that would make what was going on, or not going on, with Holt easier. But I had noticed as the summer went on that Samuel had a calming influence on everyone. Unlike Holt with all of his warm summer power and blossom, Samuel was colder and more subdued, but that also made him easy to be around.
Nick stretched. “I should get going,” he said. It was well past midnight and he had to work in the morning.
Carley got up to follow him out. I waited a breath. Part of me wanted Samuel to invite me to stay; I knew he was still mad and I needed to apologize for not wanting him around.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” I said.
He shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.” Those always-bright blue eyes were locked on my face, and I wished just for once I could tell what he was thinking.
Since I couldn’t, I wanted to change the subject. I wanted to stop thinking about his eyes on me and I wanted the goose bumps to go away. “Where are Lydia and Leslie?” I asked.
“I told them that if they showed their faces while you were here and upset you I’d banish them to Florida for the winter.”
I laughed. “You can’t do that.”
He didn’t say anything. My eyes widened. “You can do that?”
Once the three of us were in Nick’s car and heading back to Carley’s, I realized that for someone who didn’t really like me, Samuel had spent a lot of time defending me.
Later that night, when I was lying awake in bed and I heard the rustle at the window that meant Samuel was there, I smiled a little. I’m not sure why. But I did.
Chapter Eight
In the midst of my own turmoil, I came home one night to find Carley crying on her front steps. She didn’t even bother to dab away the tears when she saw me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, sitting down next t
o her and bracing myself. I was already tired from working and walking home. Ever since I had been confronted by Lydia and Leslie in the dark, I had been afraid of walking on my own. Unfortunately, sometimes I just didn’t have a choice. It actually helped to concentrate on someone else’s problems instead of my own, but I didn’t want to see a friend in pain.
“Nick wants to date me!” Carley blubbered.
I almost laughed. Until this summer I would not have been able to see any reason why a guy you liked wanting to date you was a bad thing. Holt and Samuel, or at least Holt, had taught me differently. I didn’t even want to think about Samuel; I felt guilty every time I did.
“Why is that a bad thing?” I asked carefully, hoping not to make Carley explode.
“Because,” she cried, “I don’t want to date him. I made that clear from the beginning!”
“Carley, why would you hook up with one of your best friends if you didn’t want a relationship?” I asked. “Just go find someone you don’t like to hook up with.”
Carley gave me a venomous look. “Autumn, I don’t need you to be rational right now. I need you to go along with everything I say. Don’t you know that’s how you make friends feel better?” she demanded.
“Okay. So, he asked you out?”
“No, not exactly,” she said, lifting one shoulder uncomfortably and wiping tears off her cheeks.
“So how do you know he still wants to date you?” I asked.
“Because he asked if I wanted to hang out on Friday night,” Carley explained.
“Don’t you hang out every Friday night anyway?”
“So?”
“Yeah, I don’t know why that could possibly matter,” I muttered.
“He asked me if I wanted to get dinner on Friday. I said no, obviously. We can’t go to dinner when we are hooking up, that should be obvious. But then he asked if I was having dinner with someone else, and I didn’t know what to say so I said yes. Then he asked if it was you and I said it wasn’t and he asked again and I told him I couldn’t tell him. I didn’t know who I would have dinner with if it wasn’t Nick or you or mom, so he got mad and stormed off.”
It’s a good thing Carley had told me not to say anything, because I wouldn’t have known what to say anyhow.
“Are you guys done then?” I asked. I wondered if the rest of the summer would be awkward and miserable. I couldn’t imagine being in Castleton without hanging out with Nick all the time.
“No,” Carley glowered at me. “I didn’t say we were and he didn’t either. Do you think he wants to be done?”
“I doubt it,” I said. “Since you aren’t having dinner with anyone.”
“Well, he wouldn’t like it if I did. Maybe I shouldn’t be involved with someone who gets jealous,” Carley mused.
“Nick doesn’t seem like the jealous type,” I said. I rubbed my arms. The nights were chilly and all I was wearing was a t-shirt and shorts.
“Maybe,” said Carley, chewing her lower lip.
A light flashed in the corner of my eye; a car was turning into Carley’s driveway.
“It’s probably Nick coming to apologize,” squealed Carley. “He can’t see me like this!” She dashed her palms over her cheeks and jumped to her feet. A second later the screen door slammed behind her retreating form.
I tried to watch the car come, but the lights were bright. Instead, I tilted my head up to the stars. The night was clear and a million lights were winking above me. Involuntarily I smiled.
The car had turned to park, and when I looked back at it. my heart squeezed. It was Holt’s car.
The door swung open and a blond guy stepped out. My smiling was widening. The blond guy looked up. He looked a lot like Holt, but I knew instantly that it wasn’t Holt. What was Logan Roth doing here?
He wore jeans and a light green shirt. If there had been more light, I’m sure it would have brought out his green eyes. I tried to smile.
“Hey Logan,” I said. I had become close to Holt’s cousin Susan, and Mrs. Roth was always kind and welcoming, but I hadn’t been around Logan much. He was nice enough whenever I saw him, and he reminded me of Holt, but I couldn’t imagine why he was at Carley’s.
“Hey Autumn,” he said. “How are you?”
“Good.” I said, rubbing my arms again. There was a creaking behind me, but by now I was used to it. Logan’s mere presence called to the plants nearby. He was a powerful Summer Fairy after all.
He sat down next to me on the seat left empty by Carley. He was so close that my thigh almost brushed against his.
“Where did Carley go?”
I shrugged. “I think she had stuff to do,” I said vaguely. “Were you looking for her? I could go get her.” I started to rise, glad to have something to do.
He put his hand on my arm. His touch was warm. I was so surprised I sank back down. Holt had refused to touch me for so long, and once he had it had been such a big deal, that Logan’s carelessness was worrisome. His eyes widened a little. I frowned, and he removed his hand.
“Sorry,” he murmured. I wondered if he hadn’t realized that would happen. Holt and Samuel had known instinctively not to touch me, but Logan was surprised by the heat under his hand. He had never questioned mine and Holt’s relationship, at least not that I knew of, but I wasn’t sure Holt would have told me if Logan had said something to him in private. Blood had been stronger than love for as long as anyone had used the word.
I raised my eyebrows at him. Sometimes the best way to express a feeling was without words.
“I was just wondering if you had heard from Holt,” said Logan.
It was like he had punched me. Some of the pain must have shown on my face, because he backtracked a little. “I haven’t heard from him myself. I just wanted to know what he was up to.”
“Maybe you should call him,” I said tightly. “I’m sure you know where he is.”
Logan shook his head. “I may know where he is, but he said he needed some time. I thought that if there was anyone here he would have talked to, it would be you.”
“Why?”
“Well,” said Logan. He looked reluctant to articulate whatever he was thinking, but he managed to go on. “Because of what happened with Mrs. Cheshire.”
I was relieved that he didn’t come right out and say that Samuel’s mother had tried to kill everyone; I tried not to think about it like that.
“Are you waiting for him?” Logan asked.
I recoiled. That was none of his business. And of course.
I shrugged. I didn’t want to tell Logan off, because he looked worried. I’m sure he missed Holt too.
The door banged open behind us. Carley had retouched her makeup so that there was no sign she’d been crying. When she saw Logan her smile faltered for a fraction of a second, then got wider than ever. She’d also brought my oldest, most attractive hoodie, and she flung it at me.
“Hi,” she said. “You’re Logan? You weren’t who I was expecting! I don’t think we’ve met before.”
Logan stood up. Charm walking. “I don’t think we have either,” he said, sticking out his hand. My eyes narrowed. “It’s a pleasure.”
Carley beamed. “What are you doing sitting out here in the cold? Autumn, that’s so rude,” she chided, without even looking at me. “Want to come inside?”
Logan’s smile grew. “Thank you, but I should get going. I just wanted to tell Autumn that Holt sends his regards.”
Another jolt to my stomach.
“Yeah, thanks,” I said. Logan gave me the most sympathetic look imaginable.
I tried not to glare at the ground.
“Have a good night, Autumn,” he said. I smiled at him and watched him walk away.
“He’s not as cute as Holt,” said Carley consideringly when he was out of earshot. “Don’t get me wrong. He’s dreamy, but Nick’s cuter.” A blushed brightened her cheeks.
“Have you heard from him?”
Her smiled disappeared. “No, he hasn’t called.”<
br />
“Call him,” I said. “You know we can’t go twenty-four hours without hanging out with him anyway.”
Carley brightened. “Do you want to call him?”
“What would I say? ‘Sorry, Carley lied to you about dinner and thought you were asking her out again, when you might not have been’?”
Carley rolled her eyes. “That’s not what happened at all. You should listen more closely.” She grabbed my sleeve and tugged me inside. “Just call him and see if he wants to hang out tomorrow. At some point slip into the conversation that I’ll probably be there, because I’m your only friend here.”
I rolled my eyes and Carley laughed.
Rain wasn’t forecast for the next day, which is why I was so unhappy when I couldn’t see three feet out the window the next morning because it was pouring. Every sunny day, it seemed, was a gift that said: go outside and enjoy the sunny weather! Even if there weren’t a lot of days with bad weather, I resented all of them.
I was in the kitchen eating my cereal when I heard Carley get up. A few steps later and I could hear her grumbling all the way down the stairs, through the hall and into the kitchen.
“This is crap,” she announced, pointing out the window.
I nodded. “I was just thinking the same thing. What are we going to do inside all day?”
“Psh,” said Carley. “We aren’t staying inside.”
I raise my eyebrows. “I don’t want to go outside.”
“I’m sure Nick will take us somewhere...if you ask him.”
“Seriously? Not that again. You are the most stubborn person I have ever met,” I said between bites of cereal.
“Takes one to know one,” Carley pointed out as she got her own bowl and spoon. She pointed to my phone.
Samuel had texted me twice. He hadn’t said much, just asked what I was doing. He was talking to me more, and I had to wonder if it was because Holt was gone. I found that odd, since technically Samuel had a claim on me and Holt did not. But Samuel really didn’t seem to care much. I found myself wishing that Lydia and Leslie and I were on better terms, so that maybe I could ask them what their cousin was thinking. I quickly squashed that idea, though. I did NOT want to be on good terms with Lydia and Leslie.
August Page 9
