by J. A. Kerr
Exhausted, Abbey slumped down on the chair as she heard a gentle knock on the door. It was Doctor Lewis, and she explained about Steve’s parents flying in from Spain. Her mum and dad came into the room next, with more tea and biscuits, followed by Mark. She quickly brought them up to speed with what was happening while her brain struggled to get to grips with the fact that Steve was gone. He would never open his eyes or smile at her again. The warm body in the bed would be gone in a day, as soon as she switched off the machines that were keeping him alive.
She shuddered; she wanted to run away, her life felt like a nightmare. Even Steve’s latest betrayal seemed to recede in her mind as she remembered how they’d met through mutual friends. She hadn’t even known who he was; that had annoyed him. He had stood patiently explaining who he played for and what a big star he was. Football didn’t interest her in the slightest, so she had remained unimpressed. Steve knew her though, which was a surprise, and she was flattered he had followed her career. Although attracted to him, she thought he was full of himself. She also discovered he had a bit of a reputation as a ladies’ man.
She declined his invitation to dinner, but he just wouldn’t give up, bombarding her daily with calls, texts, and flowers. He had wooed her with passionate determination, and she had succumbed to his pursuit. Those first eighteen months were the happiest of her life, as was her wedding day. She didn’t think about the rest, how the story of his first affair broke a few weeks after their anniversary. Four hours had passed since she had last called Liz and Kenny and still no news. She picked up her mobile and dialled Liz’s number, sighing in frustration as the voicemail clicked in. Were they delayed? God, this was torture, she was exhausted and just wanted to sleep, but how could she?
Abbey and her family waited all day and through the night for Liz and Kenny’s arrival. It was Olivia’s return to the hospital the next morning that changed everything. She’d put a colleague on a flight. The scene that had met her employee was that of chaos. Liz and Kenny were not packing to dash to their dying son’s bedside. They were both drunk and screaming abuse at each other. They refused to leave their villa, and in fact refused to let her colleague into the house. Told her to ‘fuck off’ or they’d get the police.
Abbey felt calmness come over her as she asked to be alone with Steve. She poured out her heart to him as she cried, telling him how much she had loved him and how afraid she felt until she had nothing left to say. She dried her tears and left the room to search for a nurse. Dr. Lewis, her family, and two nurses attended as the ventilator was switched off, and Steve slipped away. It was the saddest day of Abbey’s life, but it was dignified. Steve would have been grateful for that.
Chapter 38
THE BRAILLE CLUB
Braille Club, London, Present Day: Her dainty body clipped into the chair, her distinctive Aussie twang falls silent as she stops talking to herself and slips the hood over her head. She can feel the air change as the bells ring, and a powerful presence enters the room. Her heart is thumping wildly as she realises she has just handed herself over to a complete stranger.
Gabriella
Gabriella awoke with a feeling of intense pleasure. Her mind focused on the friend that had made it all possible, Alexis. This was her way of thanking Gabriella for saving her life. The killer she willingly invited into her life was alcohol. Alexis and Gabriella went back a long way and met whilst working in the airlines. It had seemed so innocent at first. Meeting up for drinks with the rest of the cabin crew after their shift finished was almost mandatory.
Alexis was always there till the end, always the one left standing alone at the bar. The young cabin crew was like one big family, and they covered for Alexis in the beginning. But her drinking got worse; it started to affect her job, then Gabriella met Max.
Alexis was sacked for being drunk. By the time Gabriella realised, she was in a bad way. Climbing through a window in her flat when Alexis didn’t answer the door, she found her collapsed, unrecognisable. Skin and bone, but alive. The doctors said they had never seen such a severe case. Together, family and friends helped Alexis recover. Her brother, Guy, a serving police officer back then was her rock. Alexis hadn’t wanted to see him or his disappointment, but he came anyway, showing her nothing but support and compassion, they all had. Guy had made the membership happen and she would be forever in his debt.
Max was not in the bed beside her, but she knew where he was. The delicious smell of bacon was wafting up from downstairs. She followed the smells into the kitchen where Max had set the table, complete with fresh flowers. Wonderful music filled the room from the Bang & Olufsen wall mounted radio, and Max was humming along. Gabriella wanted to pinch herself; she felt she was in a dream. Sated and contented, happiness bubbled out of her. Max turned as she padded towards him, his eyes alive and twinkling, a huge smile on his lips.
“Morning. Are you hungry?” he enquired.
Gabriella nodded; she was ravenous, and sat at the table, her mouth salivating at the plate of food in front of her. Picking up her knife and fork, she waited until Max sat with his own plate of food before eating with relish. They didn't speak until both plates were empty, and they had refilled their coffee cups. They were grinning at each other like teenagers as Gabriella reached across the table and squeezed Max’s hand.
“I want you to tell me everything you know about The Braille Club,” said Max, smiling. “How did you hear about it?”
Gabriella smiled as she got up from the table and walked around to Max. “I will tell you everything I know, which isn’t much, to be honest. But I cannot reveal who recommended it to me; it’s just the way it works.”
“But I’m a member too, and I’m your husband; why can’t you tell me?” he asked.
Gabriella shrugged. “I gave my word they would remain anonymous, but I can tell you everything else I know.”
She reached down and stroked her husband’s cheek and he pulled her onto his lap. He held her as she placed soft kisses on his neck before taking her head in his hands and kissing her. The kiss was light at first but deepened quickly as their passion for each other grew. They pulled apart, gasping. Gabriella was naked below her gown and Max could see her hardened nipples strain against the fine fabric. He felt his own stirrings with joy and although not a religious man, he thanked whatever God had made this possible. He sighed as he felt Gabriella’s hands slip beneath his robe, and lost himself in the wondrous sensations. Sensations he thought lost to him. She was slow and gentle with her caresses, still unsure of her husband’s response. He tilted her chin towards him and kissed her deeply. Their caresses became more urgent, and without thinking, Gabriella straddled Max, pushing him deep inside her. They grinned as they both climaxed quickly.
Gabriella slowly got off her husband’s lap and turned in wonderment to look at Max, pure love burning brightly in her eyes. She excused herself to go to the bathroom, where her wobbly emotions grew in intensity. Gripping the sink, she felt the first sob rip through her, and it was like a dam had burst. She howled as the pain of the last year finally left her. She couldn’t stop even when she felt his arms holding her, hushing her; it only made her cry harder. She had missed him so much, had never stopped loving him, wanting him. The rejection had almost killed her both mentally and physically. This body she now owned, honed and toned to perfection, was because of Max. She thought if she was always at her best then it wasn’t her repulsive body that he didn’t want. She had what she needed and wanted…her husband…and now seemed strangely lost, as her mind reeled with this new information. Hiccupping and sniffing as her tears slowly stopped, she let Max guide her to the sofa and sit her down gently. He poured them both a brandy and handed it to her.
“Sip it,” he said hoarsely.
His eyes red, Gabriella could tell he’d been crying too.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” he murmured. “Gabriella, you did nothing wrong…it was me…I didn’t want to consider I had a problem. I didn’t understand it, couldn’t co
ntrol what was happening or what…wasn’t happening. I took making love to my wife for granted, and when it was taken from me I was shocked. I should have talked to you, but I kept thinking it would rectify itself, but it didn’t, and I got so angry with everything and everyone. Every time you approached me I would cringe. The pressure and expectation of your touch made me feel so cornered. It was easier to stay away on business; it was easier to pick a fight than let you get close to me.” Tears coursed down Max’s face. “Can you ever forgive me?”
Gabriella nodded and squeezed her husband’s hand, willing him to continue. “You wanted me to see a specialist, but I didn’t have the heart to tell you I already had. It didn’t appear to be a medical problem, more a mental block, they said. I was furious with them; I wanted a cure, and they put the blame firmly at my door. They recommended numerous therapies and support groups, couples therapy, sex therapy, and holistic remedies. I tried some of them, but it just seemed to make me angrier as I still couldn't make love to you. Eventually, I stopped going, and you stopped wanting me…”
“I didn’t, I always wanted you,” hiccupped Gabriella.
Max sighed. “I got very depressed, and it’s only through your love and support that I’ve gotten better. I owe everything to you and a new doctor I found. Between the two of you, I’ve steadily recovered. I wanted so much to touch you, but I’d lost all my confidence. It was easier just to build on our friendship than to risk another physical encounter going wrong. We were beginning to recover, and I could sense your happiness. We were both more relaxed with each other, and at least the fighting and recriminations had stopped. I was so frightened you’d leave me, while knowing you had every right to. I didn’t recognise the person I was turning into and if I hadn’t found Dr. Knowles, then I dread to think what would have happened,” said Max, shuddering.
“Max, I don’t care about the past. All I want is a future together. Promise you’ll never shut me out again?” said Gabriella shakily.
“Yes…oh yes, you are everything to me, Gabriella, and I want to prove it to you. Will you marry me again? I want to renew our vows with the boys as our witnesses.”
“Whoa, whoa, slow down, Max. Where is this all coming from?” said Gabriella, a big smile spreading across her face.
Max got down on one knee.
“Gabriella, will you marry me?” Max’s worried face melted Gabriella’s heart.
“Yes, yes of course I'll marry you…again.” She laughed. “I love you, always have and always will.” She smiled, pulling him to his feet and hugging him tight.
Max had a broad grin on his normally grave face that made Gabriella laugh again.
“Gabriella, I’m not sure how my experience at The Braille Club helped, but it did. I can’t stop thinking about it. One minute I was feeling the usual tension, the usual dread, and then somehow I started to relax. The smell, the ambience, and then you made me close my eyes, and it was like…it was like before…it was magical.” Max was blushing now, lost in the memory. “It felt so strange. I started to feel something, really feel something, and I thought it was a dream, but my God it’s real, Gabriella. You made it happen.”
Max grabbed her hand. “Tell me everything about Braille.”
Laughing, Gabriella explained about the membership, the sensory lessons, Elysian and the various other zones. Max sat listening with rapt attention, only interrupting to clarify details. What Gabriella did not share with her husband was that Guy had bent the rules for them. Allowing Max’s membership to be a surprise was a first, and letting her speak to Max to relax him broke a Braille commandment; she couldn’t have done it without his help. She would be forever in his debt, but was sworn to secrecy.
“I want to book into these sensory lessons as soon as possible.”
Gabriella laughed again at her husband’s excitement. “Okay, that’s easy to organise, but as I said, I’ve already had mine so you'll need to go it alone.” Max looked disappointed, and Gabriella smiled again. “We can book in together later this week if you want.”
“I want,” said Max, taking his wife in his arms. “I want to, but only with you.” His eyes were serious now.
“Of course it’s just us,” said Gabriella indignantly.
Max’s eyes twinkled again. “Well, what are you waiting for, Mrs. Ballantyne? Get it booked.” He kissed her. Gabriella walked through to the study, located her membership card, and lifted the phone and dialled. The call connected within a few rings…
“Good morning and welcome to Elysian. How may I help you?” came the efficient young voice.
“Good morning, I’d like to make a booking.”
Gabriella was desperate to contact Guy; she wanted to thank him over and over again for saving her marriage.
Chapter 39
THE BRAILLE CLUB
Braille Club, London, Present Day: Although the booths are identical in Elysian, the chairs located in the centre of them are not. Some are shaped like a wide bike saddle with a narrow padded back rest, while others are more like a table where Assignees can choose to lie either face up or face down…
London, 2012
Siena
Siena’s pulse was racing, and her breathing was coming in short spurts as she entered the room and moved towards her table. She searched the room for Nick and almost wept with relief not to see his typically angry and suspicious face. God, she hated herself right at this very moment. She was a cheat and a coward, and worst of all, she was dragging her parents into the whole dirty business, but she couldn’t stop. She gasped as she saw Benedict get up from his seat, leading the stunning Ava onto the dance floor. Ridiculously, Siena felt her hackles rise although she knew it was Benedict’s twin, Alex, who was pulling the girl in close, his hand possessively around her waist. Nick’s arrival distracted her from this floor show; he looked both relieved and annoyed to see her.
“Where were you?” he demanded, sitting down, a scowl etched across his face.
“I went back to the room for some medication, Nick; I’ve got a bad headache,” said Siena. “I’m not feeling good.”
Nick stared at her for a long moment. “I’ve just been to look for you, how did we miss each other?” Siena felt her panic rising but used all her self-control to remain calm. She had left pain medication out earlier on the bathroom counter just in case, carefully removing a couple of tablets knowing he would check if he found it.
“What have you taken for the pain?” he asked, trying to sound casual but failing.
“Just Tylenol, but it’s not working,” said Siena, pretending to grimace. “Where were you?” she asked, trying to change the subject. “I couldn’t find you when I got back.”
“I was worried about you so…I went to the room. I must have just missed you.” His voice sounded sceptical.
Siena glanced away, not daring to meet his eye.
“Yes, it’s strange we didn’t bump into each other, but it’s a large hotel, I guess. I need to check if my mom has anything.”
“I’d rather you didn’t,” Nick replied angrily. “Your mom is like a walking pharmacy, and I don’t agree with the way she self-medicates.”
Siena turned to Nick, angry now as well. “So, what do you suggest I do? My head feels like it’s going to explode.”
“Okay, we’ll cut our evening short and go upstairs.”
Appalled by the idea of spending the night with Nick, she had to do something.
“No, Nick, that would be rude, we have a full table of guests,” said Siena, sighing.
“They’ll be just fine, and I’m sure they’ll understand if you’re sick,” replied Nick in a way that broached no further argument.
His gaze was focused on who he thought was Benedict on the dance floor. It was plain to see the obvious attraction between the couple. Siena noticed him studying them closely, no doubt assessing their body language and saw the tension of the last few weeks slowly start to leave his face. She had nodded to the real Benedict earlier in the evening, feeling Nick tense as
she did but other than that, nothing.
She felt Nick would be further reassured when the couple kissed briefly, hoping there was no more doubt in his mind now. Everyone could see that Benedict Harrison only had eyes for his date.
“Nick, I’m going to turn in, could you hold the fort for a little longer?” Her voice was pleading and Nick, his suspicions and fears allayed, assented to stay behind, offering to take Siena to the room, but she insisted this wasn’t necessary, so he relented.
Siena felt the fatigue tug at her as she hurried from the room. She sent Benedict a text, and he had immediately replied. She made her way from the lift to his room, knowing it was crazy, dangerous. Nick was downstairs and could at this very second be making his way to their room, but she couldn’t help herself, she had to see him. She tapped the door; it opened, and he pulled her into his arms, her heart beating as his lips found hers as they kissed frantically, his hands travelling over her body as he undressed her.
“Let me finish what I started earlier,” said Benedict huskily.
She tried to resist but found she couldn’t and gave in to her desires. She didn’t want to talk; she didn’t want to fight, she just wanted him. Like an addict, her body hurting until she got her next fix of him, her flesh on fire as her body touched the cool crisp cotton sheets, and Benedict’s mouth found hers.
Siena closed her eyes and let the pleasure wash over her as she felt Benedict’s lips move onto her neck. Nick popped into her mind and she shivered with real fear, but still she remained with Benedict, putting everything at risk. Why? Was it lust? Was it love? She didn’t have any answers; she was behaving appallingly.
