by Cher Carson
“I… missed you, too.” She bit her bottom lip. “You have to know that leaving Brant, and you, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t go on living that way. It was too damn hard.”
He got a taste of what he’d put her through when she left. A taste of his own medicine was a bitter pill to swallow, but he knew he deserved it. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Jess. I made so many mistakes. If I could go back…”
She shook her head. “Ah, if only we could request a do-over, right?” She smiled. “But of course we can’t. We have to live with the mistakes we’ve made, don’t we?”
Jake felt the weight of her words settle over him. Was she trying to tell him it was too late for them? He pulled the truck into his driveway and cut the engine. “Will you give me a chance to make this right? Please?” He knew he sounded desperate, but he was beyond caring. The only thing that mattered to him now was keeping her here with him, where she belonged.
She withdrew her hand from his. “I can’t make any promises, Jake. That wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”
His first impulse was to argue, to fight for them with everything he had, but he couldn’t bully her into loving him or agreeing to spend her life with him. She still loved him or she didn’t; either way, he had to know.
Jake got out of the truck and walked around to the passenger’s side to help her out of the big cab. He opened the door and offered her his hand. “You look so beautiful,” he whispered as he reached for the sparkly comb holding her hair in a fancy twist. The soft blonde waves fell around her shoulders like a veil. “When I saw you walk down that aisle today…”
She closed her eyes as she flattened her palm against his chest. “Please, don’t.”
He gripped her hand and set it over his heart. “I’m going to say what I need to say, no more holding back. I don’t care what anyone thinks. The only thing that matters from this moment forward is you and me, and how we feel about each other.”
She opened her eyes to look at him. “Why? What’s changed?”
“Baby, when I thought I lost you, everything changed. I’m not the same man I was when you left Brant.”
She looked down at their joined hands. “You don’t know how much I want to believe that, but…”
Jake bent down to kiss her lips. He wanted, needed, more, but there would be time for that later. He had a long way to go to earn her trust, and he wasn’t ready to re-claim her body until he knew it was for keeps this time. “Do you still love me?”
She swallowed as her eyes shone with unshed tears. “How can you even ask me that question? I’ve loved you forever. I couldn’t stop if my life depended on it.”
“But when you left…”
“I hoped I could find someone else, fall in love again, but that didn’t mean I expected to fall out of love with you. You’ll always have a piece of my heart, Jake.”
He wasn’t satisfied with a piece of her heart; he wanted it all. He needed her, heart, body, and soul, and he was willing to offer her the same in return. “When you left, there was this huge, gaping void in my life. Nothing seemed to matter anymore.” He smiled as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and watched her turn her cheek into his palm. “That’s when I realized you were the missing piece of the puzzle for me. I have a job I love, a great home and family, and a terrific kid. All in all, I thought I was pretty happy, but then you left, and I started to wonder if I could ever be happy again. It took me about a minute to realize I couldn’t, not without you.”
She shivered and he drew her into his arms. “Let’s get you inside.”
She allowed him to lead her up the stairs and watched him unlock the door.
For the first time in a long time, he felt his hands tremble. He was normally steady enough to hit the bull’s eye ninety percent of the time on the shooting range, but he always got another chance to get it right if he missed. This was his last chance with Jessica, and they both knew it. If he couldn’t convince her he was worth the risk, she would return to her new man and her new life and leave him here, alone, to try and find a way to move on without her.
She turned into his arms as soon as they crossed the threshold. “Jake, you know how much you mean to me, how much I’ll always care for you, but…”
Jake seized her head between his hands and lowered his mouth to hers. He wasn’t going to let her go without a fight this time. Even if it meant using every dirty trick in his arsenal to convince her she was where she needed to be, he was prepared to pull out all the stops. He would never forgive himself if he let her leave knowing he could have said or done more to convince her to stay.
He slipped his tongue past the crease in her mouth and he could sense her internal war.
Her response was tentative at first until she finally threaded her hands through his hair and surrendered to the force of a connection that was beyond their control.
Whether she realized it or not, she owned him. There would never be another woman who could make him feel this all-consuming, mind-numbing oblivion where nothing else mattered. The world, his world, began and ended with her, her unique flavor, the scent of her arousal coupled with the citrusy scent of her shampoo, the feel of her soft curves filling his hands.
“God, I need you,” he muttered, tearing his mouth away from her swollen lips. He was panting, breathless, barely able to form a cohesive thought, but there was so much that needed to be said before he allowed this to go any further.
“Let’s go upstairs,” she said as she reached for the buttons on his shirt. “I’ve missed this, being close to you like this.”
“Wait, not yet.”
She looked devastated. “But I thought you said you needed me?”
“I do, baby.” He kissed her bare shoulder. “But this is about so much more than sex. Last time, I let you believe that’s all it could be. I was wrong, so wrong.”
“Jake, you just ended your marriage. I know how difficult that was for you.”
“Yeah, it was so hard because I had to come to terms with the fact that I made a mistake, a huge mistake. I married the wrong woman, Jess. It should have been you.” He could see the shock mixed with hope on her beautiful face. She wanted to believe him, but he had given her too many reasons to doubt him over the years.
She held her fingers up to cover her trembling lips, but she couldn’t stop the tears from slipping down her cheeks. “You have no idea how much I wanted it to be me. I felt terrible wishing, praying that you would realize you and Diane weren’t right for each other.”
“I’m so sorry for what I put you through. I was an idiot. I should have been man enough to admit what I felt for you back then.”
“Now it’s more complicated. You have a little boy to consider, I understand that. Jared has to come first.”
“You’re right.” He caught her tears with his thumbs. “Jared’s opinion is important to me. That’s why I asked him how he would feel if we got married and gave him a little brother or sister.”
She sobbed before covering her mouth with her hand.
“You know what he said?”
She shook her head, her eyes wide.
“He said he’d love to have you as his second mama.” He pulled her into his arms, cradling her head against his chest as he kissed the top of her head.
“I love that little boy so much,” she whispered. “You don’t know how much I missed talking to him. Hearing his little voice used to make my day.”
“Yeah, well, you might be hearing a lot more of it, if you’re okay with that?”
She tipped her head back to look at him. “What do you mean?”
“I want to fight for full custody of Jared. I want him to come and live with us, sweetheart.”
“You want him to live with us?” She frowned. “Jake, I’m not sure…”
He was screwing this up, getting ahead of himself. He took a deep breath as he reached into the breast pocket of his blazer and withdrew the small velvet box from his pocket
. She had earned the right to have him grovel at her feet, so he dropped to one knee and took her hand.
She cried as she covered her mouth with her other hand.
“Jessica, you have loved me, supported me, and cared for me, even when I didn’t deserve it.” He cleared his throat. “You have been my friend, my lover, my son’s sounding board…” He didn’t know how he was going to get through this. There was no way to put into words how much she meant to him, so he decided to sum it up by saying, “You can spend the rest of your life searching, and you may find a smarter man, a stronger man, a richer man, but you will never find another who loves you as much as I do. Jess, I can’t live without you, it’s as simple as that. Please, baby, please, say you’ll be my wife.”
She fell to her knees and pulled him into her arms. “Yes,” she whispered. “I’ve fantasized about this moment a hundred times. I can’t believe it’s actually happening.”
Jake grinned as he buried his face in her neck. “You are everything to me.” He pulled back to open the velvet box. The ring was a single carat diamond on a narrow, white gold band. He’d agonized over his decision for hours, trying to find the ideal ring to signify his love for her, but there was no diamond big enough or bright enough to capture the sentiment. He decided he would simply have to spend every day for the rest of their lives showing her how much she meant to him.
She held her trembling hand out as he slipped the ring on her finger. “It’s perfect. I love it.”
“You’re perfect,” he whispered before kissing her lips.
He stood up and reached for her hand. “Come here. There’s something I want to show you.” He had spent the countless hours since she’d left making significant changes to his house. He wanted this to be their home, not just his anymore. He flipped the switch and bathed the family room in light.
She walked into the room slowly, taking in the changes. “This is the furniture I pointed out that afternoon we drove in to Lindsay. I said I’d like to get it for my new condo.”
He watched her, smiling at her reaction. “That’s right.”
“I can’t believe you remembered that.”
“I remember everything, baby.” He pointed to the mantle. “Check those out.”
“Oh my God,” she said, moving in to take a closer look at the newly framed photographs. “Hey, that was the afternoon last summer when we took Jared to the beach, right?” She smiled. “That was a great day.”
It was perfect. They felt like more of a family that day than he, Jared, and Diane ever had.
“Oh, and look, there’s you and me at Mama and Daddy’s Memorial Day barbeque… oh, and here we are at the Fourth of July celebration at…” She covered her mouth with her hand as she shook her head.
He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “What’s wrong, baby?” He kissed her neck. “I thought this would make you happy.”
“I was just thinking, in every one of those pictures, I was dying a little inside because I believed you would never love me the way I loved you.”
Jake turned her into his arms and framed her face with his hands. “Honey, I was a fool. I’m sorry. I’ll spend the rest of our lives making it up to you, I promise.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist and settled her head against his chest as she looked at the rest of the framed photographs scattered across the small tables. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Jake. I’m just so grateful we got to this place.” She pointed to a small collection of photos. “God, we have so much history, don’t we?”
“A lifetime of amazing memories,” he whispered, brushing his lips against her hair.
“How do you think our families will feel about this?”
He grinned. “I happen to know for a fact that they’re thrilled.”
Jessica tipped her head back to look at him. “You told them… how you felt about me?”
“You mean that I’m completely in love with you and I’m desperate to make you my wife?” He kissed the tip of her nose when she giggled. “Yeah, they know.”
“How did they react?”
“Well, my mama slapped me upside the head and asked me why it took me so long to come to my senses.” He smirked at the memory. “She wasn’t the only one who felt that way. It seemed to be the general consensus.”
Jessica flattened her palm against her chest. “I’m so glad. I have to admit, I was a little worried about how everyone might react.”
He chuckled. “I think the only thing you have to worry about is how you’re gonna keep our mamas from inviting everyone in Brant and all the neighboring counties within a hundred mile radius to the wedding.”
She giggled. “I don’t care how many people they want to invite.” She reached up to kiss his lips. “I want the whole damn world to know that I’m finally, finally marrying the love of my life.”
Jake didn’t want to ruin this night, but he had to know. “Did you sleep with him?”
She frowned. “Bill? No, God no! How can you even ask me that?”
He brushed the hair off her face as he allowed himself to breathe again. “Do you know how much it means to me that I’ve been the only one for you? The only man you’ve ever loved or made love to…” He kissed her lips. “I can’t say I feel I’ve earned that honor yet, but it means everything to me, you need to know that.”
She pressed kisses to his cheek, jaw, and neck. “It wouldn’t have felt right with anyone else. I would have been pretending, just going through the motions. It may sound like a silly romantic notion, but I believe in soul mates, and in my heart, you are mine. No one else could take your place.”
Jake couldn’t wait one more minute to show his gratitude. He scooped her up and practically ran up the stairs to their bedroom.
“Oh wow,” she whispered as she nudged the door open with her foot. “This looks incredible.” Another tear slipped down her cheek and he kissed it away. “We were sitting out by my parents’ pool last summer and I was looking at that decorating magazine. I showed you a picture of a bedroom…”
He reached over and snagged a magazine clipping off the dresser. “You mean this one?”
“Oh my God, I can’t believe you kept it.”
He shrugged. “At the time, I was thinking the bedding would be a nice housewarming gift when you got your own place.”
“You’re amazing.” She cupped his cheek in her palm as she kissed his lips. “Thank you, I love it.”
“I just wanted this to feel like your home, baby. I want to re-decorate Jared’s room too. You know, to give us all a fresh start, but I thought I’d let him decide what he might like.” He nodded to the smaller bedroom across the hall. “I had the painters paint that one a pale yellow. I thought it would be nice and neutral for a nursery.”
She looked up at him, obviously surprised. “Nursery?”
“Uh listen, if you want to wait a bit, we can.” But he didn’t want to wait another minute to start a family with her. She was already wonderful with his son. He couldn’t wait to see her with their baby.
“I don’t want to wait,” she whispered. “I want to have your baby, Jake. It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted.”
He grinned. “How about we start practicing right now?”
Her face fell. “Oh damn, I forgot my pills. They’re in my suitcase at…”
He kissed her. “You don’t need them.”
“You don’t mind using a condom tonight?”
He kissed her neck, a series of moist, open mouth licks and nibbles. “If you want me to, I will.”
“Jake, you’re not suggesting…”
“Would it be so terrible if you got pregnant now?” he asked, drawing her earlobe between his teeth. Just the thought of her tight, flat stomach protruding with the weight of his baby was getting him hard.
“Uh, aside from the fact that my daddy and brother would kill you?”
He threw his head back and laughed. “Okay, point taken. We’ll use protection until after the wedding.”
<
br /> She licked her lips. “But on our honeymoon, all bets are off, deal?”
“Oh, baby, you can count on it.”
Chapter Fifteen
Jessica watched her fiancée peel his clothes off and she could hardly believe he was all hers, finally. This was their bed now. She didn’t have to go home at the end of the night. She was home, at last.
“What’re you smiling about, gorgeous?” he asked, climbing on top of her.
She held up her engagement ring to admire it in the soft glow of the bedside lamp. “It just seems so surreal, you know?” She tipped her head back as he started to kiss her neck. “I can’t believe by this time next year you’ll be my husband.”
He raised his head, a scowl on his handsome face. “You must be kidding? You think I’m going to wait a whole year to make you mine?”
She ran her hands up the smooth expanse of his back. She couldn’t help but admire the muscles bunching under her fingertips as he supported his weight above her. “Honey, you know I’ve always been yours.”
He grunted. “Yeah, but I want the world to know it. And they will, just as soon as I get that little band of gold on your finger. As far as I’m concerned, it can’t be soon enough.”
She was thrilled that he was as anxious as she was to make it official. She had waited all of her adult life to become Mrs. Jake McCoy, and he was right; another year seemed like a lifetime. She closed her eyes as he licked a path up one side of her neck and down the other. “Hmm… these things take time to plan, Jake.”
“Baby, can we whip the calendar out later? In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a little busy right now.”
She laughed as she raised her hands above her head, content to let him explore her body with that masterful mouth. “I promise, not another peep.”
“Hey, I didn’t say that. Contented sighs, moans, whimpers… my name on your lips as you explode around my cock…” He said the last words with his mouth a whisper away from her lips. “All permissible.”
