by Joy Eileen
“Wait, you text Kill?” I was flabbergasted.
“Yeah, he asked me to keep an eye on you and to text him if anything happened. He knew you would keep it a secret.”
Kill stared at me, his face hard and unreadable, making me even more confused. Before I could get any more out of Ryan, DJ Smoke announced the singing waitress was up.
The regulars clapped and shouted for me. Breaking my gaze from Kill, I made my way toward the stage. I told myself I needed to keep it together long enough to get through this song and the rest of my shift. I ignored the questions flying around in my head; like what the fuck is Kill up to?
DJ Smoke smiled, revealing an enormous gap between his front two teeth, which surprisingly made him look like even more of a bad boy. “Are you ready, you sexy beast you?” he asked, while the person onstage finished up his rendition of 'Like A Virgin.'
“Yeah,” I replied. “Although, I don’t know how I'm going to top a bald biker with tattoos on his head singing ‘Like A Virgin’.”
Smoke just winked at me before he introduced me. “Let’s give a big hand for Tiny and his Madonna impersonation. Alright, you guys are in for a treat. If you weren’t here yesterday, one of our lovely waitresses kicked ass onstage. She's back for an encore. Please give it up for one of Ray’s girls, Faith.”
The bar clapped, and I heard the boys encouraging me. I took the stage and passed Tiny, who was anything but tiny, and got in front of the microphone.
The music to 'Coming Down' by Five Finger Death Punch started, and I lost myself in the music for a moment, forgetting everything but the words. When I finished, I blinked my eyes back to reality; the bar was clapping, but most of it was drowned out by the noise the boys were making.
Robert came over and gave me a hug, grinning widely.
“You were amazing. I can’t wait to get you to sing for me later. I'm definitely going to demand a solo concert.”
He said it with such confidence, my skin crawled. I second-guessed my decision immediately. I told him I needed to check on my tables before my boss fired me and made my escape.
Swallowing my pride I walked over to the boys since Jessie was busy and didn’t look like she had time to catch up just yet. They were all smiles as they talked excitedly to each other. I put my arm over D’s.
“How are you boys doing?”
They grinned at me and the look in their eyes made me nervous. “What?” I asked with dread in my voice, certain I was not going to like their answer.
“We're just thinking of a couple more songs we want you try,” Van said, as they nodded their heads in agreement.
I opened my mouth to tell them hell no, but before I could, Kill asked me. “Is that the guy that tried to hit on you at The Note?” He tipped his beer bottle toward Robert.
I feigned innocence. “Yeah, Amy let it slip I worked here the other night, and he came over to say hi.”
I omitted the part where I agreed to go out with him. I felt guilty even though I had no reason to.
“Is he bothering you?” Van asked, in full big brother mode.
“No, he just wanted to say hi. He's harmless,” I said, walking over to push Van back down into his chair.
Kill glared at me with narrowed eyes. I was sure he figured out I was neglecting to tell him something.
“Do you guys need anything?” I tried to change the subject.
Jet handed me his empty beer, and I took it, grateful for the distraction. The others ordered another round too, and I scurried off to get them.
I took my time delivering the orders to the rest of my tables. I avoided the pity-filled glances from Bambi.
“Where did ole’ Trent take off to?” Jet asked when I delivered their order.
I wanted to slap him in the back of the head for bringing up yet another subject I did not want to discuss.
“He had to go home; he worked hard today,” I lied.
I glanced up just in time to see Robert making his way over. I took off to intercept him, not wanting to have to explain anymore. The guilt I felt because of Kill was confusing, and I didn’t want to add to it. I cut off Robert before he made it to the boys, happy for the small miracle.
“That’s all of the JackholeS!” he said excitedly, looking over my shoulder.
“Yep, they're my roommates,” I muttered. I took his arm and pulled him back toward his table.
“Really? That's so fucking cool. Are you going to introduce me?” he asked as he tried to turn us back around.
“No!” I shouted. “I mean no, they're very protective, and if they find out we're going to go on date they won't be nice.” I explained with a weak smile.
“Oh,” he said, with a wink. “Well, then maybe another time. After they figure out how head over heels you are for me.” He winked again, and I wanted to jab my fingers into his eyes so he wouldn’t ever wink again.
“Well, I need to get back to work,” I said, grateful when I was finally able to get him back to his table.
“Ok, I need to go anyway. I promised my buddies I would catch up with them later tonight.”
I wanted to do a happy dance, glad I was going to get rid of him.
“Well, I'll see you later,” I said, relieved he was leaving.
“You bet you will. I'll call you later.” He winked again.
I had the urge to puke in his lap. I didn’t. Instead, I went over to Ryan, who was staring at me with laughter in her eyes.
“Shut up. I know what you're going to say, and I'm hoping he never calls, so just hush.”
She laughed at my rant, and I waited for her comeback. “Oh honey, you're stupid if you think that boy isn’t going to call you. If I were you, I would come up with my excuse as soon as possible.”
I flipped her off before grabbing my tray she had filled up while laughing at my predicament.
As I was walking off, she yelled after me. “Anytime, sexy.”
I smiled at her as I rolled my eyes.
DJ Smoke packed everything up and the bar died down. Mentally I was exhausted from all of the drama. Jessie, Denise, and I closed up the bar, while Bambi sat with boys, flirting with Kill. She gave me dirty looks every time she caught my eye.
“If that girl touches my man one more time, I'm going to take one of these empty bottles and shove it somewhere most men have already been,” Jessie snarled.
Her remark made Denise cackle. I stared at her, wondering where in the hell she buried my best friend, and if there was room next to her for Bambi’s tiny carcass.
“Oh, honey, she doesn't have her sights on Van. Ever since Kill got her a job here her sights have been on him. They have something going on, I just can't figure it out,” Denise responded, after she contained her laughter.
I whipped my eyes over to the table, Denise all but confirming Bambi's story. Bambi leaned over the table to give Kill a clear shot of her plastic surgeon’s work. Kill looked her in the eyes, and I wanted to smirk since she wasn’t getting the attention she obviously wanted.
Then I thought back to her conversation in the bathroom, and realized she was getting the attention she wanted, just not in front of fragile me.
“I wish her the best of luck,” I said, as I went back to filling up the salt shakers.
Jessie and Denise looked at me like they didn’t believe a word I said, but I just shrugged as I put more concentration than necessary toward my task.
“What’s up bitches?” Ryan said as she plopped down in the seat next to me.
“We were just talking about what a great couple Kill and Bambi are,” Jessie responded, looking directly at me.
Ryan looked over at Kill, who was ignoring Bambi’s silicone parts pressed near his face.
“I don’t know how to respond to that. Except ewwww.” She was staring at Kill, studying him. He looked over at us, and we quickly averted our eyes, knowing we were caught.
I groaned when his chair scraped the floor. Ryan giggled, and I kicked her under the table.
“Ouch, shit F
aith, that hurt with those heels of yours.” She bent over to rub her shin just as Kill approached us.
“So are you guys going to tell me why you were staring at me?” he asked, leaning on my chair.
I subtly inhaled his scent as I let it wrap around me. We looked up at him innocently. He stared at us intently as he tried to get one of us to break. He blew out a defeated sigh when none of us did.
“I should have known girl code would keep you silent. I will get it out of you later.” He gave me a pointed look. “Almost ready to go, Slick?” he asked, as he grabbed the last salt shaker and filled it for me.
“Yeah, I'm done. Let me go grab my stuff.” I hopped up off the chair.
“Ok, you're driving since I drank tonight.”
We watched him walk away. Ryan had a huge, knowing smile on her face, and I was afraid to hear what was running around in that gorgeous head of hers.
“He can be dirty fun, Faith. As long as you go into it realizing it would be nothing more than hot, sweaty, monkey sex,” she said, as she wiggled her eyebrow.
I didn’t say anything to encourage Ryan’s train of thought. None of them knew what I had overheard in the bathroom. Not wanting to explain what was going on between Kill and I, since I didn’t understand it myself.
There were times he acted like he wanted to be around me, and then there were times he acted like he wanted to be inside of me. But with Bambi saying he was just worried about my fragile state, I couldn’t help but doubt his actions.
Bambi sauntered to her locker, ignoring me, which was perfectly fine by me. As I moved to leave, she finally spoke, with her back toward me.
“You're stupid if you think he would want anyone like you. I've seen the girls he takes home and believe me, you're nothing.”
I wanted to grab her by the hair and slam her into her locker, but I resisted. Jessie, Denise, and Ryan walked in. When Ryan saw Bambi, she made a crude gesture behind her back that had all of us holding back laughter.
“So, where are you staying tonight?” I asked Jessie, done with Bambi.
“Van wants to get something to eat. I'm not sure where we'll end up tonight.” She glanced over at Bambi, giving her a clear message Van was off limits.
“Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Night girls.” I waved at them and went to find Kill. Catcher was demonstrating a chokehold by crushing D in his arms.
Amy must have just shown up. She hung on Jet’s arm as she kissed his cheek. She waved at me with a bag of M&M’s in her hands. I leaned on the table to get some of the weight off of my feet. It had been a long night, and my feet were making sure I felt every step I made them take.
“What’s the matter, Slick? Are your torture devices getting to you?” Kill asked, coming up behind me and kneading my shoulders with his strong hands.
My eyes fluttered shut. He pulled me against him, and I was too tired to resist.
“Night Kill,” Bambi said, her voice implying more than just a simple good night.
I stiffened and tried to pull away, but Kill held me tightly, resting his chin on my head.
“Night, Bambi, see you tomorrow.”
I dissected every word, checking to see if there was a hidden meaning in them.
“Come on, Slick, let’s get you home.”
I resisted for a moment, not wanting to go anywhere with him. At least not until I got the answers to the questions I would never ask.
“Goodnight guys. I'll see you later,” I finally said.
I waved a defeated goodbye. Ryan quirked her eyebrow at me when she saw us. Kill hadn’t moved from his position behind me, still holding me close.
“See you two later,” she said with a wink.
I wanted to find a dark place to hide.
“Night,” Kill answered.
I didn’t respond, knowing full well what she was thinking. When we got to the car, Kill had my keys out and opened the driver’s door.
“I like the mace,” he said, eyeing the new addition to my key ring. “Are you alright to drive? You look dead on your feet. I can drive if you need me to,” he said, as he ran his finger down the side of my face.
“I thought you had too many to drive,” I replied. I wanted to ask so much more, but I knew this was as bold as I was going to get.
“I’m fine,” he replied. He gave me a half-smirk, and I wondered if he knew what was going through my head. Without a word I jumped into the driver’s seat. I needed to get my bearings, and driving would give me something to do.
He stood by my closed door for a second before he made his way over to the passenger side and slid in. I cranked the engine and headed toward home with both hands firmly planted on the steering wheel.
“Are you hungry, Slick?” he asked. He shifted toward me. His smell, as always, was intoxicating.
“No, I'm sleepy. I'm not used to working late yet, and I'm still adjusting.”
I could feel his gaze on my face as I concentrated on the road. I wanted to get home, and safely in bed before I did something that would change my world.
“You don’t eat enough,” he murmured. His gaze was still on me, and when I looked over at him a frown was marring his face.
“I don’t think I'll starve anytime soon. My body has enough to eat off of for quite some time,” I replied, trying to lighten the mood.
“You have no idea how beautiful you are. That asshole sure did a number on you." He turned to focus on the road, his frown still in place.
I let out a shaky breath when I finally parked. Getting my bag from the backseat, I got out of the car. He was next to me as we made our way toward the house, neither of us saying anything. I wanted to escape under my covers, done with the day.
“Night Slick,” Kill called out, right before I closed my door.
I opened it back up to see him standing in front of my door with a look on his face that made heat pool between my legs.
“Night Killer,” I replied, giving him a halfhearted smile and closed the door.
I found a long t-shirt and ratty pair of gym shorts. Peeling off my work clothes, I changed quickly. Cracking my door open, I looked both ways to ensure Kill wasn’t lurking in the hallway.
When I verified it was clear, I dashed to the bathroom and got ready for bed. After putting everything on the charger, I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling.
I made a pact with myself; I wouldn't let Kill get any deeper into my heart. I was going to accept his friendship for what it was, just a friendship.
Also, I made a promise I would deal with Jason; it was obvious he wasn’t giving up on me. I couldn't keep ignoring him, and hoping he would go away. Turning on my side I buried myself deeper into the blankets.
Reminding myself I was strong enough to leave Jason, and because of that I was capable of fixing my messed up life. I felt better as I drifted off to sleep, hoping I was right.
Chapter 16
My alarm went off, pulling me out of a very vivid dream starring Kill. Blushing, I looked around, paranoid someone would to bust into my room and accuse me of having a sex dream about my confusing roommate/friend.
In the living room, Kill waited for me. His hair stuck up artfully around his head, and I wanted nothing more than to run my fingers through it, tugging on it while making his lips align with mine.
He raised an eyebrow at me as I blushed.
“Morning, Killer. How do you always end up awake before me?”
“I can’t give away all of my secrets, Slick,” he said with amusement in his voice.
My vagina bartered with me to let her maul him. I chanted Bambi’s name over and over again to get her to calm down.
“You need to eat more," he said eyeing the apple I was eating.
“I eat enough. I don’t like a lot of stuff in my stomach when I run,” I responded defensively.
“I get that, but then you don’t eat when we get home, and when you make us dinner, you barely eat.” His voice became agitated.
“Relax, Killer, I'm a girl. We don’
t eat as much. I eat enough; I just can’t handle manly portions, making it look like I don’t eat.”
Proud of my excuse, I hoped he bought it. I didn't want to admit my breakfast not only consisted of the apple I munched on but also a handful of Tums. He shook his head not letting it go.
“I understand you're a girl; that fact has never been questioned. I also know you are full of shit, and if you don’t start eating more, I will hold you down and force feed you.”
He leaned toward me, his eyes shimmering with challenge. Anger simmered through my veins, needing to protect my secret.
“I don’t need you mothering me. I've been taking care of myself for a long time. You're right, I could probably eat more, but my body's adjusting to my new schedule, so my appetite isn’t what it normally is. Back off,” I finished, leaning toward him also, accepting his challenge.
“Don’t push me, Slick,” he replied, anger coloring his voice.
Instead of making me back down it made me want to get in his beautiful face and vent all of my pent-up frustration.
“Don’t bully me, Killer,” I responded, my eyes narrowed as I shot venom through them.
The anger on his face vanished, replaced with hurt. I should have felt victorious, but instead I felt like a bitch for lumping him into the group of guys who used their physical dominance to get their way.
“I’m sorry. I'm just sensitive when people tell me what to do. I'll try to eat more, can we go run now?” I pleaded, wanting to run off the anger I wasn’t able to expel.
He smiled his half-smile, but it didn’t light up his face like it normal.
“Come on.” He got up and cleaned his glass out, sticking it in the dishwasher. Noticing it was full, I walked over and started it.
I wanted to make it better between us, so I put my arms around his waist, burying my face into his chest.
“Don’t be mad at me.”
His chest expanded as he took a deep breath. I closed my eyes and breathed him in. “I’m not mad at you. You just bring out my emotions. You make me feel…. raw.”
My heart squeezed, understanding exactly what he was trying to say.
“You make me feel the same way. That’s why I need to be friends with you. My heart couldn’t handle the amount of sensations you would bombard it with.”
