Jaxon left shortly after they returned. Things remained strained between them. Wolfsan’s abduction and Cookie’s death lay heavy on everyone. None more than he. Was it weak of her to want to curl into the strength of his arms and have him hold her until her fears were gone? Was it foolish to want to hear him tell her he loved her? That their angry words to one another were forgiven and forgotten?
At times, she thought she saw him look at her with caring and compassion, but his mood since they returned from Sarah’s remained shuttered. The night’s breeze only brought silence as she waited for him to return.
Another silence plagued her. Alice had barely spoken since the horrific scene at the cave. Annalise had been sensitive to her friend’s shock, but it wasn’t right for her to deal with it alone. There were too many questions still unanswered.
After padding down the stairs on bare feet, Annalise gave a light knock upon Alice’s door before peeking in. Moonlight shined bright through the open windows across an empty bed. The food tray she’d left on the nightstand earlier remained untouched. A gentle wind from the open patio doors crept through her thin sleeping gown and made her shiver. “Alice?”
Alice sat on the stone steps of the patio staring out into the gardens, wearing only her borrowed nightgown. Her hair was loose and hung straight and shining down her back. Anna sat beside her and wrapped a soft blanket around them.
“I had a moment just now standing in your rooms when I was sure this had been a dream. That you weren’t truly here, and I continued to be trapped in this bizarre nightmare.”
“I’m here.” Alice laced her fingers though Anna’s.
“I’m still in shock. Am I truly sitting holding your hand whispering in the dark like we were children again.”
“We aren’t children anymore.”
“No. We aren’t. Can you tell me what happened?”
Alice shook her head and swept the night air with her hand as if wiping an image away. “What’s done is done.”
“Please, I must know what happened after I left. We were foolish to think our simple plan would ever work. Things went wrong for me from the start. I’d been sick with worry about you, too, and then the locket…” Anna covered her mouth with her fingertips. She would never forget the horror of that moment as long as she lived.
Alice tucked the blanket tighter. “It could have been the end for both of us. We were saved beyond any hope or reason. There’s a true miracle in all of it. I’ve been sitting here trying to remind myself of just that.”
“Tell me what happened.”
“After you left London, I stayed near the docks, waiting on a ship to take me to Port St. Maria, just as we planned. I was worried about you, as well, and nervous wearing your gown. Trying to pass as gentry. Getting used to wearing your fussy gloves. Then I met Liam walking along the docks. You remember Liam?”
“The Harbor Master’s lad.”
“Yes. He didn’t recognize me at first, but he believed the lies we’d spread to lead Wolfsan on a merry chase. He told me how fortunate you’d gone north instead of boarding the Scarlet Night. That the Scarlet Night was sailing into the very gates of pirate hell, Port Royal. I couldn’t breathe, Anna. He spoke of all the unspeakable horrors he’d heard of from this lawless, brutal place. And you were heading straight into dangers greater than a thousand Wolfsans. I was sick with the thought of you at the mercy of those vicious barbarians. I was on my way to seek transport when Wolfsan’s men found me.”
“Oh, Alice.”
“We were both done for. You at the hands of fierce pirates, and me at the hands of evil himself. I refused to tell him where you’d gone. He must have learned from someone else, because the next thing I can recall, was bargaining for my life with his hired man, Sheffield.”
“The very thing we feared most. How did you ever get away?”
“Seems Sheffield could clean up after Wolfsan’s wickedness, but he couldn’t do the deed himself. It took me hours to convince him if Wolfsan came back and found me alive I wouldn’t be the only one to feel his wrath.”
Annalise wiped at her tears.
“I wonder if he’ll be relieved to hear Wolfsan’s wickedness is over?” Alice straightened her shoulders and looked out into the garden. “If only I could have reached Port Royal before him.” The breeze lifted her hair. She drew a shaky breath before letting out a pained sigh. “Dear Lord, I killed a man. And not just any man--a blasted duke.” She dropped her face into her hands and struggled for control. A muffled sob escaped her. Alice looked back at Annalise, her eyes awash with tears. “I’m a murderer.”
“You are not.”
Alice pushed to her feet and pointed toward the stars. “In the eyes of God and the Crown, I am.” She swiped at her eyes. “The shot stopped him. He was on his knees. It was done. The captain freed his hands. I saw him. We could have gotten you away.” Alice drew a sharp breath, turning to face Annalise. “I picked up that sword. Something inside of me went cold and I pulled the cutlass out of its scabbard.” Tears ran unchecked. “It was heavy, but somehow I had the strength to lift it high.” Clawing torment sounded in her friend’s voice.
“You weren’t in your right mind.”
Alice shook her head wildly. “You’re wrong. I knew exactly what I was doing. I chose to kill Wolfsan. Knew just where to strike him. I could have stopped, but I didn’t, and I killed him with no remorse. I am a murderer.”
“No.” snapped Annalise. The blanket slid to the stone steps as she closed the distance between them and held Alice by the shoulders. “You had every reason to kill him. He was pure evil. He left a trail of bodies and broken lives in his wake, and you put an end to it. You saved me. Uncle Herbert. Nell. Cookie. You were their savior as well. Who knows how many lives he ended? You are not the murderer. He was.” Annalise started to cry. “You had to stop him. He would have killed Jaxon and you know what he would have done to me.”
“Don’t even think about that.” Alice wiped at Anna’s cheek.
The two touched foreheads.
“You’re everything that’s good. You’re brave and courageous. You’re a heroine,” Annalise whispered.
“So what do I do now?” Alice’s voice was small and desperate in the night.
“You’ll stay with me. I’ll take care of you. You’re my dearest friend, my sister. I love you. You never have to worry about anything ever again. You can be a lady.”
Alice pulled away and shook her head. “You still believe a new dress and gloves will make me a lady. It won’t. I was born and raised a servant. It is all I’ve known.”
“Not anymore.”
“Where will I go?”
Annalise smoothed Alice’s hair. “You’ll be with me. I’m never letting you leave my side again.”
“They’ll hang me in London.”
“I swear on my parent’s grave, they will not hang you in London. I promise. I’ll protect you.” She pulled her into an embrace and held tight. “I don’t know where we’ll go or what we’ll do, but you and I are together. We’ll work it out somehow. I give you my word.”
The two sat once more huddled together beneath the blanket, watching the stars follow each other across the sky.
“There is still one thing I need to know,” whispered Alice, giving her a nudge with her shoulder. “How is it you’ve come to love a pirate?”
CHAPTER 36
Jaxon stood in the study, pouring another healthy drink of brandy. While his body screamed for the warmth of his bed and Annalise’s arms, his mind allowed neither. The dull ache in his ribs provided a steady reminder of his decision. It was for the best. Now, if only the ache in his heart would cease.
“Jaxon?” Annalise stood in the doorway, her fiery hair falling in curls. A blanket wrapped around her against the night’s chill. The hems of her nightgown were damp with dew, with her feet bare and petite, peeking out beneath. Another breathtaking image to recall on the long, cold nights to come.
“Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I was waiting for you.” She took a step toward him. “Where did you go?”
The urge to sweep her into his arms and hold tight to her forever surged through him. He drained his glass and turned away to pour another. “I had business that I needed to attend to.”
“This late? Couldn’t it have waited until morning?”
“Nay, this couldn’t wait. The Cornwall sails on the noon tide.”
“The Cornwall?”
“I’ve secured a place for you and Mistress Tupper aboard the ship. You’ll be returning to London. That doesn’t leave you much time to pack your things, but if I remember, you prefer to travel light.”
Behind him, Annalise gasped. His words hit their mark. Better, that she leave hating him. “And if I refuse to go?”
He turned and met her gaze. The unshed tears in her eyes captured the flickering light of the fire.
“You have no choice. This is the best thing for all concerned. We discussed this already. It can’t be a surprise to you.”
“We didn’t discuss any of this. You decided in the midst of an argument. After all we’ve been through in the last day, you still want to send me away?”
“On the contrary. It made it clearer to me that you are not safe here. Wolfsan aside, this world is one of constant danger. Wolfsan is dead. The threat to you in London is gone. It’s only sensible for you to return and carry on with your life as it should be.”
“Love isn’t sensible. I need you. No world is without danger. If it’s my safety you’re after, I’ve never felt safer than when I am in your arms.”
“You need someone better. You deserve a fine, rich life, Annalise. Certainly better than the one I can offer you. I’m a rogue. The bastard spawn of a man who wants my head on a sterling plate and will only send more after me to fetch it. A thief who battles for everything I can get. It doesn’t matter what a scroll of royal parchment says. I’m a bloody pirate. I’m not worthy of a woman like you.”
“But you’re a lord now.”
He shook his head and swallowed the last of his drink. “You hold the ring. Our marriage is to be dissolved. You’ll be free to find a new marquis. A new husband.”
“I don’t want a new husband. I want--”
“My mind is made up.”
“With no regard to my feelings?”
“Anna…”
“And what of your feelings? Are you standing there after all we’ve been through, after all we’ve shared… Are you going to deny you love me?”
A band tightened across his chest. “What I feel or don’t feel has nothing to do with this.”
“It has everything to do with this. If you can look into my eyes and tell me that those nights we spent in each other’s arms meant nothing to you, that you don’t love me, I’ll raise the sails of the Cornwall myself.”
Jaxon looked into those shimmering eyes and remembered her lying in his cot aboard the Scarlet Night after they’d found her. Remembered the slow lifting of those rusty lashes to peer into their golden depths for the first time. She’d stolen his heart in that moment. The way they sparked when she got angry and notched that stubborn chin of hers. And how those same treasure-gold eyes gazed up into his on the night they’d wed. She’d reached clear in to touch his soul and made him want to shout out to the starry heavens that he was the luckiest man alive.
He held tight to that golden gaze. Wouldn’t look away. “I don’t love you.”
Annalise sucked in a sharp breath. The tear that spilled over her lashes was like a sword straight through his heart.
“I-I…” She swiped the tear from her cheek and notched that stubborn, maddening, beautiful chin. “Alice and I will be packed within the hour.”
Jaxon turned away from her and shut his eyes. He’d battled on the seas for years and seen the life drain from the eyes of a dying man, but he’d never forget the look on Anna’s face just now. It was sure to haunt him for the rest of his days. Keeping his back to her, he poured another drink.
The silence in the room screamed in his ears. It was as if all the air stopped. Time stopped. His life stopped. Behind him, she moved. Walking past him, she placed the lord’s ring upon the desk and whispered, “It’s true then…pirates never give back.”
When she left, Jaxon’s fingers closed over the ring. The thin band cut into his palm.
* * * *
The sun was making its climb when Jaxon lifted himself into the carriage. He carried a red sail wrapped bundle tied with twine. Annalise and Alice sat arm in arm. Their meager belongings packed at their feet. He and Anna hadn’t spoken, but Bates relayed the message reminding him they’d promised to visit Sarah before leaving. He meant to keep that promise. He had business there as well before heading to the docks.
Jaxon hadn’t told Annalise everything about the package Wolfsan delivered to him. If she knew it contained Cookie’s peg, she would carry yet another scar from that sick bastard. It was time to lay to rest the man who was more like a father to him than a friend. It was fitting that the sea claimed Cookie’s body, but the land that Cookie called home, his home with Sarah, was where his peg should lie.
When they arrived, Sarah stood out front waiting for them. She pulled Annalise from the cart and hugged her. Jaxon helped Alice down. Sarah turned to him and patted his shoulder. “You go do what ye has to do. Sam-u-el will show ye where.”
Sarah slipped her arm around Annalise’s waist and pulled her away. “The fire queen comes with me.” To Alice, she pointed to the open door of her colorful home. “I left a good drink for ye, inside.” She tugged at Annalise. “Come.”
Jaxon headed in the opposite direction, walking away from the path deep into the emerald underbrush. He didn’t believe Sarah’s mystical assurance that Cookie would show him anything. He’d find the proper place without any divine guidance.
But then he saw it, and the hair on his arms stood on end. He could almost hear Cookie laughing in his head. It was the perfect spot. A large palm soared above his head. Into the leathered bark, Cookie had carved his name with Sarah’s encircled with a heart like a young man’s first crush.
Jaxon used his knife and added the date of 1683 below Cookie’s name. He used the same knife to dig the hole in the soft sand where he placed his friend’s wooden leg.
“There. Now you can rest in peace, ye old sot.” Jaxon sat with his back to the tree and brushed the dirt from his knees. Jaxon smoothed the sand with his hand. “Ye scurvy bastard… What am I to do without your ugly mug in my face every day?”
Jaxon pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. “I’m sorry it ended like it did. You didn’t deserve to die at the hands of that cowardly prick. You should have met your maker swinging over to some sweet French deck, rattling your sword and firing that fancy pearl-handled pistol you stole off that Spanish fop.
“I got it back from the prick, and I’m giving it to Robbins. You owe him. Nearly made the boy mad with your spirit talk. Perhaps now you can haunt him for real.” Jaxon tried to laugh, but it caught in his throat.
“Still busting my bullocks at how hard I’ve ‘fallen for a skirt.’ I’m sure you’d be giving me grief for the mess I’ve made of everything, too. Ye know she’ll be better off back in London away from here. Away from me. I can hear ye cussing, calling me a bloody fool. I could always count on you for that no matter how many times I threatened to remove your tongue. But you’d be right, I am a bloody, mule-headed, stupid fool. Even dead you’re still smarter than me.”
Jaxon sat for a time. Listening. It was time to go. He wiped his knife on his pants, stood, and slid it back into his boot. “Rest well, Samuel Cookie Burrows. My friend. I’ll miss you.”
* * * *
Sarah led Annalise along a path in the opposite direction from the one Jaxon had taken.
A large bird with red wings and a blue tail swooped in front of them. It flew into the green of the trees.
> Leading her into a small grotto, Sarah reached into a stoned arch nearly hidden by vines and growth. She withdrew a bundle wrapped in a bit of bright fabric. Kissing it, she handed the bundle to her. “I want te give ye a gift.”
When Anna opened it, an exquisite gold necklace was inside, made from hammered links held together with disks of varying sizes, burnished and a soft buttery yellow.
“Sam-u-el gave dis to me. I want to give it te you.”
“I can’t take this.”Annalise shook her head.
Sarah’s dark face was solemn and wise. It seemed as if her eyes held the secrets of the world. “I want ye to have it. It is fit for a Fire Queen. It’s for you. Ye’re goin’ away, and I want ye to always remember me. And remember Sam-u-el, too. He says he luved ye like his own.” She pushed the necklace back at Annalise. “Ye need te remember.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I could never forget you, Sarah. Or Cookie.” She held the necklace to her heart. “Thank you.”
Then Sarah got an odd expression on her face. She ran her fingers from the top of Anna’s head, over her shoulders, and down her arms. Grasping Annalise’s hand, she laid a kiss in the palm and pressed it against the flat of Anna’s stomach. A wide smile graced Sarah’s round dark face.
Black-brown eyes sparkled into Anna’s. Sarah spoke low and soft. “Ye’re te have a man child. Wit the hair of flames and de eyes like de sky.”
Releasing her hands, Sarah patted Anna’s cheek and turned back toward her hut.
A myriad of emotions raced through Anna as she stood in stunned silence. A baby? Jaxon’s baby? The jungle’s colors and sounds surrounded her. “Ye’re to have a man child. Wit the hair of flames and de eyes like de sky.”
Her fingers splayed over her skirt. How could Sarah know? When she turned to ask, Sarah had disappeared.
Annalise rushed from the forest. Joy and heartbreak tore at her when she saw Jaxon waiting for her. She couldn’t tell him. It would change nothing, and yet it changed everything. If she could not love him, she would love his son. At least she’d have a part of him.
Within a Captain's Hold Page 23
