by Lynsey James
I sighed and ran my hand over the gate before pushing it open, ‘I’ve no idea Mum, I’m just trying to take this all in at the moment.’
I walked up the gravel path, loving that the crunch and scrunch beneath my feet drowned out the cacophony of voices in my head, which were all shouting equally bad advice. The air tasted of the sea – fresh and salty – and a light breeze bobbed in and out of the trees and long grass. There was a chill in the air – the last remnant of a classic Luna Bay winter – so I pulled my jacket closer around me and shivered. Weak sunlight fell in dappled shades across the gravel path as it sliced through the leaves on the trees. I unlocked the front door, which creaked when I pushed it open, and stepped inside.
The second I stepped in the hall though the smell of damp hit me right between the eyes. It was certainly different to the aroma of freshly baked bread that had greeted me before. I knew the house had been empty since Nana Lily had gone to live in a nursing home further up the coast. Spotlessly clean furniture had been engulfed by dust and grime and the house’s shiny, welcoming lustre had completely vanished. A sense of panic enveloped me. What was I supposed to do with this? The enormity of the potential task lying in front of me overwhelmed me.
Mum appeared at my side, smiling optimistically. ‘It needs some work, but it could be made really nice. Obviously it’s been a bit neglected for a while, but if you decide to stay, we could start doing it up together.’
I swallowed. I had the chance to live in the house I’d loved so much growing up, basking in all the fantastic memories that had been made here. However, to do that, I’d have to confront everything that made me leave Luna Bay behind. I wasn’t sure I was ready to do that just yet.
‘Yeah that’d be lovely. I just don’t know where to start!’
I couldn’t meet Mum’s gaze. I badly wanted to tell her about losing my job but the words died in my mouth.
‘It could be a nice little project,’ she continued, walking into the living room. ‘You could stay at home until it’s ready to live in, then do the rest up as you go along.’
The urge to tell her everything resurfaced again. I tried my best to tamp it down; no good could come of telling her I’d lied. Following her into the living room I caught sight of the breath-taking views of Luna Bay Beach through the stunning French windows that led out to the garden. I walked over to them and my fingers brushed against the ornate silver handle, making the door open a little. I looked out and allowed myself to drink in my surroundings. The sea gently lapped against the shore and a few families and dog walkers making the most of the fresh but chilly spring day were dotted along the vast cove. The sand stretched out into a thin ribbon as it curled around to the imposing black cliffs. It was only after seeing it again after so long that I realised how much I’d missed it.
This view, this life, it could all be mine again. All I had to do was reach out and grab it.
‘Some view eh?’ Mum echoed my thoughts and came over to stand beside me. ‘This room could be lovely if it was done up right. Just think, you could sit here with a glass of wine at night and look out at the sea –’
But as soon as she said that out loud I snapped. The weight of the decision I had to make, plus the strain of keeping my sacking a secret became too much to bear.
‘Don’t, OK, don’t! I moved away for a reason and you know that. I can’t come back here.’
‘That was a long time ago Lucy, things have moved on a lot since then!’ Mum’s voice was tired and weary. One look at her face and you could see the desperation etched into it.
I sighed and moved a few paces away from her, heading back towards the front door.
‘No they haven’t, not really. I saw Maggie Cunningham at Nana Lily’s wake yesterday and she certainly hasn’t moved on! Not that I can really blame her after what happened.’
I trailed off, stopping short of mentioning the terrible tragedy of eight years ago, the events that tore me away from the corner of the world I loved so much.
‘You need to stop blaming yourself for that!’ Mum said, calmly making me stop. ‘It all happened so long ago now and nobody could have stopped it. What happened to Vicky was tragic, but it was an accident. Nana Lily said she didn’t blame you in her letter and nobody else round here does either. Maggie might still hold a grudge and that’s not entirely surprising because of what happened, but for everyone else in this village time has moved on Lucy. I’d love to have you back here and not have to hop on a train for hours when I fancy seeing you. Just think about it, eh?’
I could see the pleading in her eyes and it broke my heart. She’d just lost her mother and I knew how much it meant to her to have me home – but, I’d gotten used to the idea of being invisible, of losing myself in London’s urban sprawl. When I was there, nobody had to know what I’d done or how it had wrecked people’s lives. Guilt had kept me away from Luna Bay for so long and it was about to force me back to the purgatory of London again. But things were pretty much ruined there now: I’d be going back to no job and probably no flat either.
Yet Fate had thrown me a very intriguing yet impractical option… to return to this beautiful place with its dark secrets and bad memories. I definitely couldn’t stay here. Could I?
I heard a rustling noise coming from the corner of the room. Mum was rummaging through one of Nana Lily’s numerous boxes of things. Although she’d lived in a nursing home for the last portion of her life, most of her possessions had been kept at Rose Cottage.
‘Look at this,’ she said, peering at a slightly crumpled photograph. ‘It says “me and the Broken Hearts Book Club, December ’08.” That woman at the top is Diane from the Moonlight Café and that fella’s Frank who runs the corner shop. God, there’s quite a few familiar faces here!’
I went over and picked up the photo, but when I looked at the group of people in the photo I was hit with an overwhelming sense of grief. They were all smiling but I could tell none of them were truly happy. Their smiles were nothing more than masks used to convince the world they were OK when they weren’t. Some of them were faces I’d grown up with, whilst others weren’t so familiar. I’d gone to Frank’s shop for ten pence mixtures as a kid and Diane’s café had been the scene of many birthday treats. My relationship with her wasn’t the best any more though; she was Mrs Cunningham’s best friend and had taken her side after the accident.
And suddenly I knew, just by looking into their eyes, that I had to check out the Broken Hearts Book Club – even if it was just to see why they meant so much to Nana Lily. Diane probably wouldn’t make me feel very welcome, but I had to satisfy my own curiosity. Although I didn’t want to admit it, a strange excitement began to brew inside me. I began to wonder about the members and what their stories might be.
One thing was for certain though: I definitely wasn’t looking to take Nana Lily up on her posthumous offer to lead them and live in Luna Bay. As much as I loved Rose Cottage and the magical memories it conjured up, I couldn’t come back.
No way.
Chapter Three
Here’s an important lesson to learn about my dad: if he says he’ll have something sorted out in no time, don’t listen to him under any circumstances.
Mum and I returned from our trip to Rose Cottage to find the house even more flooded than when we’d left. According to Dad, the damp patch that had looked fit to burst had, well, burst.
‘I poked at it with the end of a paint roller and there was more water in it than I’d thought!’ he said with a bright, wide grin. ‘It’s fine though, bit of plaster will sort it – no problem!’
Mum stared around her at the sodden carpets, walls and furniture, looking absolutely horrified.
‘You said you’d sort it! Look at it, there’s no way we can stay here! What are we going to do?’
‘Don’t you worry,’ Dad replied. ‘I’ve got a plan! I phoned The Purple Partridge and spoke to that nice young man who runs it. Jake, his name is. You’ll like him, Lucy. He’s going to let us stay there f
or a couple of nights while the place dries out.’
Oh wonderful, I thought, I epically embarrass myself in front of the sexy barman by running out on him and now I’ll have to face him again.
Then again, I said to myself with a smile, the thought of seeing those gorgeous arm muscles wasn’t entirely unpleasant…
After a lot of hasty packing, the four of us traipsed over to The Purple Partridge where Fitty McFitterson – who I now knew as Jake – greeted us with a smile as we walked through the door, laden with bags and looking very sheepish. Everyone, that is, except Dad – who’d been the cause of it all. He looked as happy and carefree as usual, while Mum, George and I were all fed up and in need of a strong brew.
Stepping out from behind the bar, Jake’s eyes briefly caught mine and he smiled in recognition.
‘Oh dear David, what have you been up to this time?’ he asked while grabbing a bag from Mum.
Dad did an over-the-top gurn and shrugged his shoulders. ‘Flooded the bloody house, didn’t I?’
‘It’s like living with Norman Wisdom,’ Mum muttered. After realising we’d all heard her, she put on her best prim smile. ‘It’s ever so kind of you to put us up for a couple of nights, Jake. I’m sure we’ll be out of your hair by the weekend.’
Jake shook his head. ‘It’s no problem, really. We’ve got a couple of spare rooms upstairs going begging, so there’s plenty of room.’
Our eyes met again and I was sure I saw him smile.
‘Follow me guys, it’s just up here.’ He jabbed his thumb in the direction of the door leading to the pub’s upstairs area.
Up the stairs, the main living quarters consisted of five main doors. One had a lock on it and a brass number one attached which I guessed led to Jake’s flat.
‘The bedrooms are just here.’ He gestured to the first three doors. ‘And that’s the bathroom there. The plumbing’s not the best, but should be all right for a couple of days at least. Enjoy your stay; anything you need, just ask.’
He looked back at me as he retreated down the hall to return to the pub. A tiny raise of his eyebrows made my heart skip. This was going to be a very interesting couple of days.
***
My theory was proven right on our first day at The Purple Partridge. After a surprisingly restful night’s sleep, I made a mad early-morning dash for the bathroom before Mum or George could occupy it for hours on end or Dad had a chance to flood it.
When Jake said the plumbing ‘wasn’t the best’, he hadn’t been kidding. The taps were creaky, there was hardly any hot water and the pressure ranged from a drip to a deluge. However, there was a certain quirky charm about it and I reminded myself how lucky we were that Jake had been able to put us up.
Jake.
He popped into my mind uninvited and I felt my heart rate start to speed up. I’d never seen anyone quite so gorgeous for a long time and those arm muscles… I shook the thoughts free before I turned into a complete drooling mess. The last thing we needed was me making our temporary stay here more awkward than it needed to be by making eyes at the delectable landlord. Instead, I put my head back and allowed the tepid water to run down my hair and back – hoping some of my fears and anxieties about being back in Luna Bay would be washed away too.
I stepped out of the shower, wrapped a fluffy white towel around myself and prepared to make the dash back to my room. There was still so much to think about. While staying in Luna Bay and carrying out Nana Lily’s wishes definitely held an appeal, the thought of being confronted with everything I’d been running from scared the life out of me. I wanted to move on, really I did, but I wasn’t sure if Luna Bay’s residents – Maggie Cunningham in particular – would let me.
As I prepared to make a run for it, I heard a voice behind me.
‘Morning you. Sleep well?’
I jumped and spun round to see who the voice belonged to. In my haste, I let go of my towel and ended up showing Jake everything I had.
Great Lucy, way to make your stay here not awkward.
‘Oh bollocks!’
‘Well that was more than I bargained for!’ He laughed as I scrabbled around for the towel. I pulled it back around myself and clutched it tightly to my chest. I noticed him giving me an appraising look and didn’t feel particularly comfortable.
‘S-sorry… I-I was just having a shower…’
He nodded, still fixing me with that peculiar look. ‘Yeah, erm, I could see that. I was just coming up to see if you fancied some… some breakfast.’
I squeaked that I wasn’t hungry and ran back to my room as fast as I could. It was official: this latest screw-up had tipped me into a crisis and I needed to take some sort of action.
If ever I needed a sign to straighten my life out, flashing a sexy barman was it.
Of all the places to sort your mess of a life out, there are few better places than the Moonlight Café.
Perched at the very top of Luna Bay’s steep main street, its unparalleled views of the North Sea, beach house-style décor and freshly baked bread and cakes will have you forgetting your troubles in no time at all.
Unless you’re me, that is.
I found myself sitting there, several hours after my impromptu striptease, trying to sift through the debris of my life. I picked half-heartedly at my Victoria sponge while George sat opposite me, tucking into coffee cake like he hadn’t eaten for months. We’d been sat here since the early afternoon and now it was almost closing time and we were still no closer to picking our way through the wreckage of my life.
‘What should I do, George? Should I stay here, move into Rose Cottage and try to make a go of things or book the next train back to London?’
My question broke his frenzied attack on the slab of cake in front of him. He sighed and looked up at me with those huge brown eyes of his.
‘Luce, I learned long ago that I can’t tell you what to do. If it was me and I’d inherited a gorgeous house in this part of the country, I’d jump at the chance to live there rather than in a shoebox in Kentish Town. But from what I’ve gathered, it’s not as simple as all that, is it?’
I shook my head. ‘I wish it was, it’d be a no-brainer then.’
He reached his hands across the table and linked our fingers together, gently caressing the backs of my hands with his thumbs.
‘You know I only want you to be happy, don’t you? Tell me what happened here all those years ago and we’ll see if we can put it right. Then your choice will be loads easier, won’t it?’
‘I can’t.’ My voice was small and meek, like all the life and colour had been drained from it. ‘I just can’t George, you’ll hate me if I do.’ Then I registered the look on his face. ‘Is there something you want to tell me?’
‘Nothing that can’t wait. Luce, every time I’ve tried to talk to you about your past you shut me down. I kept saying to myself you must have a good reason for doing that, but I think it’s time you stopped running away from it. If you tell me what’s going on, maybe I can help you. That way, you can decide whether you’re staying here or coming back to London.’
He looked at me, his eyes pleading with me to share my secrets with him. I looked back at him, my mouth forming words I knew I couldn’t say. I felt terrible that I couldn’t tell him what had happened, but it was too awful. I’d valued his friendship over the last two years and letting him in on my dark little secret would spoil everything.
‘You know the drill,’ I replied, ‘no talking about the past. So come on, what do you want to tell me?’
He sighed, knowing he’d been defeated, and his eyes dropped to the white wooden table we were sitting at.
‘I’ve been putting off telling you this, but a couple of guys I met doing Jesus Christ Superstar asked if I fancied taking the spare room at their place in Lewisham. I haven’t given them an answer yet because I don’t know what the situation is with you. If you’re coming back then we’ll find a way to keep the flat in Kentish Town, but if you’re not I need some kind of back-up
plan.’
My heart sank to my shoes and I felt like the worst person in the world. I tried to pull my hands away but George wouldn’t let go.
‘My to-ing and fro-ing isn’t doing anyone any favours is it?’ I asked with a sad sigh.
I hated the thought of George being in limbo while I was still trying to figure out my life. The decision was simple: I could either stay here or go back to London. Although there were many obstacles in my way, I couldn’t deny that staying in Luna Bay excited me. Yet I couldn’t quite make the leap to commit to staying.
‘I just need to know where I stand, that’s all. I know this won’t be an easy decision for you. Maybe you could see about going to one of the meetings? That way, you can meet the members and see if you could handle it.’
I couldn’t bear the thought of not living with George any more. He’d been my flatmate for almost two amazing years in London and not having him around would create a huge void in my life that I wasn’t sure I could fill, but I couldn’t leave him hanging.
Just then, a group of very familiar people shuffled through the front door and made their way to the back of the room, disappearing behind a gingham-print curtain. Diane, the café’s owner, took her apron off and prepared to follow suit. The smattering of customers still in the café took that as their cue to leave.
‘Come on, I think it’s chucking-out time now.’ George got up and stretched his lithe dancer’s muscles. ‘We could go down to the cottage if you like, see if we can find anything else out about this Broken Hearts Book Club?’
I hushed him as I heard some muffled voices coming from behind the curtain.
‘I think that might be them,’ I whispered. ‘The book club.’
The old floorboards creaked when I stepped on them and I winced. Being discovered snooping on a private meeting of broken-hearted people wouldn’t do my reputation in Luna Bay any good.
‘You go,’ I said to George. ‘I’ll be along in a minute; I’m just going to check this meeting out. I’ll meet you back at the pub.’
