by Lynsey James
I woke up from the nightmare in a cold sweat, ragged breaths struggling to escape from my chest. My eyes worked quickly to take in their surroundings, which were barely visible in dim half-light. The dawn was just on the outer reaches of the sky, its long tapered fingers ready to blast through the darkness and herald a new day.
I lay back on my pillow and stared at the ceiling, my eyes going funny from the swirly patterns. Once upon a time, there had been beautiful exposed beams on the ceiling, but Dad being the enthusiastic DIYer he was had decided covering them up with Artex would look much better. I immersed myself in the finer details of each swirl, willing my mind to banish the nightmare that was still clinging onto the periphery of my thoughts.
I’d expected it to come. After Diane had made such a big show of mentioning Vicky, it was pretty much inevitable. The events always happened in the same order and although I knew what was coming, it still terrified me. The feeling of helplessness and that the world had changed irreparably because of me… haunted me more than I cared to admit.
I rolled onto my other side and checked the time: just after four in the morning. Plenty of time to try to get some decent sleep. I let my heavy eyes close, snuggled down in my covers and prayed that the nightmare wouldn’t come back.
Jake was waiting for me when I went over to The Purple Partridge just after lunchtime. Elle and George had insisted on coming with me, given that last time I saw him in the pub I did a Tom Jones impression.
‘You need our expert guidance I think,’ Elle had said. ‘We’ll stage some sort of intervention if it even looks like you’re going to sing.’ And George had been more than happy to spend time with Elle. She’d managed to take his mind off the missed part in The Lion King and he was now settling into Luna Bay nicely. Jake hadn’t been able to give him any shifts at The Purple Partridge, but he’d managed to pick up some in a pub a few miles away. It was lovely to see George making a life for himself in Luna Bay. Switching from a busy life in the city to a slower, more sedate one on the Yorkshire coast was having a great effect on him. His trademark Cheshire-cat grin was back and it was clear to see how much he loved being in the village.
When I got to the pub, Jake came out from behind the bar and we went over to a little table while my two best friends chose one nearby. I was a bit disappointed to see his beautiful arm muscles were hidden under a cream jumper.
‘How’s the ankle?’ he asked without a hint of awkwardness.
I blushed as I thought of him caressing my sore ankle yesterday.
‘Oh it’s fine thanks!’
The memory of his touch made my skin tingle and my heart ache to feel it again. Stop right there, my brain said, before you get in too deep.
‘So,’ he said, offering me a hot mug of tea, ‘how are we going to save this place?’
I reached into my bag and brought out a spiral notebook with cartoon pandas on the front. This prompted a chuckle from Luna Bay’s moodiest barman, so I was quietly chuffed.
‘I’ve made lists of well-known cocktails according to country and ranked them in order of popularity. ’
Jake smiled wolfishly. ‘You’re enjoying every minute of this aren’t you?’
‘No!’ I felt myself blush. ‘OK yeah, I totally am. Do you have cocktail ingredients?’
‘Nope, but I could probably get some pretty easily. Should I hire a mixologist for the evening or something?’
I was touched to see he actually looked quite serious about this, instead of mildly amused like he normally did. To look at him, you’d think he had life completely sussed; after all, how could someone as gorgeous as him possibly have anything to be unhappy about? However, when no one was looking Jake looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
‘Nah, the cocktails themselves are pretty easy to mix usually. If you want someone to juggle the shakers around and do some fancy stuff, then OK but you could probably pull that off yourself.’
He nodded, looking deep in thought as he chewed his thumbnail. ‘Yeah probably not a good idea to spend more than I have to; I just need to keep this place open. I’ve got… Well I’ve got a lot riding on this and if it goes under, I’m screwed.’
He worried a hand across his face and glanced up at me with desperation as he hunched over on his chair. His eyes were heavy and he looked like he hadn’t slept for weeks. He ran his fingers through his hair, scratched his neck and began fiddling with the wooden beaded bracelet on his right wrist.
‘Sorry,’ he said with a self-conscious chuckle, ‘you’ve probably got enough to deal with without hearing about my problems as well!’
He was so vulnerable, so desperately in need of help that I wanted to fling my arms around him and tell him everything would be OK.
‘You really should come to the book club, you know. I know you said it wasn’t your thing but give it a try eh? You look like you could do with some support and that’s what the club’s for.’
Jake straightened himself up and his bravado was instantly put back in place. Instead of giving me an answer about joining the Broken Hearts Book Club, he pored over the notes I’d made about other events to run in the pub. He must be desperate to avoid the subject, I thought, if he’s looking over events he didn’t even want to do.
I decided to drop my quest to get him to join – it obviously wasn’t going to work – and leaned in to discuss some of the other ideas I’d had. As my chair scraped forward, it lurched unexpectedly and my hand knocked against his.
‘Oh, sorry!’
A little shy smile sprouted at the corners of Jake’s full mouth and he gave a slow shrug. ‘Don’t worry about it.’
Then, just like that, he turned back to leafing through my notebook. I cursed every one of those cute cartoon pandas.
In the end I made it through the whole ninety minutes with Jake without bursting into song or falling over. Although when our hands brushed, I did have the urge to sing You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman.
‘So we’ll have the cocktail night in a couple of weeks then?’ he said, stepping back into his domain: behind the bar.
‘Yeah, the Saturday night would probably be the best. Unless you fancy doing it on the Friday? I’ve got my second book club meeting on Wednesday, so either day is good for me.’
‘You’re definitely going back then? I’m glad. You could do a lot of good there, provided you leave the piñata at home this time.’
He leaned his arm on one of the beer pumps and wore the laziest yet sexiest smile I’d ever seen. He went to rest his chin on top of his hand but applied too much pressure to the pump and soaked himself with Guinness.
‘Shit!’ he yelled, jumping back to get himself out of the way. It was too late; his lovely cream jumper was already covered with an ugly brown stain. ‘I’ll have to go and change. Nicole, could you look after the bar for a minute?’
A young, mousy-looking girl with unusually large brown eyes came over to him, her heels clicking on the parquet floor. As I looked at her, it became increasingly apparent just how much she resembled a Furby. Her huge brown eyes surveyed me with an air of suspicion and her little bow-like mouth was crafted into a simpering pout. She didn’t look happy to see me and threw a dirty look my way.
‘You called?’ Her voice was exactly how I imagined Barbie or Hello Kitty to sound: high-pitched and sickly sweet. ‘Ooh, look at your jumper! How did that happen?’
‘Faulty beer pump,’ Jake explained. ‘Would you be OK looking after things for five minutes while I go and get changed?’
Her lips curved into a smile and she put a protective hand on his chest. ‘Of course, you take as long as you need.’
Jake gently removed her hand and went through the door that led to the back of the pub. Through the little porthole window, I saw him take his jumper off and discard it carelessly on the floor. I could see every sinew and muscle in his back and shoulders stretch themselves out until he disappeared upstairs and out of sight.
Oh Mama.
Elle and Ge
orge, being the utterly lovely individuals they were, insisted on giving me a round of applause for getting through a period of social interaction without singing or doing something catastrophic. When I got back to the table, they stood up and gave me a standing ovation.
‘Well done!’ Elle said, patting me on the back. ‘We’ll make a normal human being out of you yet!’
‘I wouldn’t go that far!’ George winked. ‘Still, at least you didn’t sing.’
‘Haha, very bloody funny!’ I pulled up a spare seat. ‘There’s still time for me to belt out a number you know; I could go for Beyoncé or Lady Gaga this time.’
‘On that note,’ my lovely Welsh best friend said, rising from his seat, ‘I’m off to the bar!’
Elle stared after him for just a fraction too long then turned to me, after sensing me looking at her.
‘So now that it’s just us girls, how did it go with Luna Bay’s answer to Ryan Gosling?’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Sorry to disappoint you, but it was strictly business. Anyway, even if I was interested in him – which I’m not – he clearly thinks I’m some kind of all-singing, all-dancing lunatic who butchers Tom Jones songs.’
‘Which, to be fair, you are. But you’re awesome too; he’d be mad not to be interested in you.’
‘That’s what I’ve missed most about you these last eight years Elle; you really know how to pay someone a compliment!’
Our happy reverie was cut abruptly short by the pub door swinging open and Maggie Cunningham walking in. She slowly turned her head to look in our direction and had the expression of someone whose nostrils were permanently filled with a bad smell. For the first time in my life, I gulped. A proper old-style gulp like they do in horror movies. As always, when I saw her, my stomach lurched and my palms grew sweaty. Every time I saw her, the Vicky thing was brought right back to the front of my mind. One look at her was enough to dredge it back up from the deep recess I’d tried to bury it in. All the guilt, the pain and the regret came rushing back and there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was always there, lurking in the back of my mind just waiting for the perfect moment to strike. But now that I was back in Luna Bay, it seemed to be somewhat heightened.
‘Hello Maggie,’ Elle said, her voice glacially calm. ‘It’s nice to see you.’
‘I wish I could say the same. I was under the impression neither of you planned to stay in Luna Bay for very long. After you caused so much destruction here and given what people think of you, I wouldn’t think you’d want to hang around.’
I instantly began to imagine the residents of Luna Bay whispering about us and the terrible tragedy that happened eight years before. The thought made me sick to my stomach.
Tears filled Elle’s huge blue eyes and her cool, calm façade fell apart. I got up, my knees trembling, and decided to try and make peace once and for all.
‘Maggie, I know that nothing Elle or I say will change what happened to Vicky or make things any better, but please believe me when I say we’re truly sorry. We think about her every day, don’t we?’ Elle nodded as tears silently fell down her cheeks. ‘We all have to live here and it’d be a lot easier for everyone if we could at least be civil with one another. What do you say?’
Maggie’s face gave nothing away and her eyes were steely and emotionless. In one swift movement, she picked up a pint glass from a nearby table and threw the contents over me.
‘There you are, that clear enough for you?’ She spun on her heel and stormed out before one of the bar staff could throw her out.
Since I was drenched in beer, we had to make a pretty quick exit. I smelled like a brewery, as my two best friends delighted in pointing out. We fell into an easy, fun conversation about nothing at all, to help us forget all about Maggie’s creative way of declining my attempt at moving forward. As we walked through the high street, going nowhere in particular, I felt myself relax for the first time in what felt like ages. I knew where I stood with Maggie, at least for now. She’d made it abundantly clear that Elle and I would never be forgiven for our parts in what happened to Vicky, but that didn’t mean we were going to run off with our tails between our legs. Luna Bay was our home too and we had as much right to be here as Maggie did.
‘Lucy, wait up!’
I turned round to see Jake sprinting down the hill towards me. He skidded to a halt and put his hands on his jeans while he got his breath back.
‘I was… I wondered if I could ask you something?’ he asked.
‘Um, sure of course you can.’
I turned to Elle and George and said I’d see them at home. They gave me knowing glances and carried on down the road, Elle making a love heart with her fingers while I resisted the urge to do a ruder gesture back to her.
‘What is it?’ I flicked some of my soaking wet tendrils out of my face in an attempt to look attractive whilst covered in beer.
He paused, carefully selecting his words. ‘I’m going to sound like a complete moron here, but I was wondering if you fancied coming over for dinner one night? N-not as a date or anything, but we’ve still got loads of events plans to discuss. We got the cocktail party organised but it’d be good to talk about more things we could do.’
I frowned. If he hadn’t been so emphatic about it not being a date, I’d have thought he was interested in me. But he wasn’t. He couldn’t be, could he?
‘But we discussed doing a summer party and maybe a barbecue out on the deck, plus something at Christmas. What other ideas did you have?’
A furious blush crept into Jake’s cheeks and he shifted from foot to foot. ‘Oh you know, just this and that. W-we can talk about it properly over dinner. If you want to, that is.’
‘Yeah I’d love to. When do you fancy doing it?’ Oh shit, this is no time for euphemisms Lucy. ‘Having dinner I mean!’
The blush on Jake’s cheeks darkened. He was now the colour of a plum. ‘Say Wednesday? You could have the book club meeting in the back room if you like, then we could discuss some ideas afterwards.’
‘And you could come to the meeting,’ I added with a wink. ‘Just kidding.’
‘You’re like a dog with a bloody bone when you get going!’ He chuckled and dug his hands deep into his pockets. ‘So we’re on for Wednesday?’
‘We sure are!’ I slapped my thigh and immediately wondered what the hell I’d just done.
Fortunately, Jake didn’t seem too weirded out by that. ‘OK great, I’ll see you then.’
As I walked back down the road, I thought of what advice I could use for my upcoming evening with Luna Bay’s hunkiest – and moodiest – barman. One piece in particular stood out: if at all possible, try not to slap my thigh and say things that make me sound like a children’s TV presenter.
Chapter Eleven
As renovations on Rose Cottage kicked off, I learned two things: damp proofing isn’t as easy as it looks and water makes a hell of a mess.
Nobby No-Jobs, the man I paid quite a lot of money to damp proof Rose Cottage, managed to make a section of the kitchen ceiling collapse. I had no idea how and, as it turned out, he didn’t either. I went down to see how he was getting on and discovered the kitchen was partially buried under mounds of plaster, rubble and broken wooden beams This was clearly my punishment for hiring a man nicknamed Nobby No-Jobs, famed for his lack of clientele.
‘What the hell is this?!’ I waded into the debris and stared blankly at it, wondering how on earth it could ever be fixed.
‘Sorry love, these things happen sometimes,’ he said, using a dirty hand to mop some sweat off his brow. ‘It’s these old houses you see, full of surprises.’
‘Well can you fix it?’ was what I wanted to know.
Nobby did the typical sucking-air-through-his-teeth thing tradesmen were famous for and gave a grave shake of his head.
‘I’m not a builder sweetheart; you’ll have to get a professional in to sort this trouble out. It’ll be quite a hefty cost too, I’d imagine.’
I wasn’t sure wheth
er to laugh or cry; in the end I chose the latter. I sank to the floor and burst into tears. Huge mournful wails burst from my chest as I tried to work out what to do next. Now it wasn’t only my attempt to run a Broken Hearts Book Club meeting that had gone wrong. Rose Cottage was now crumbling down around me too!
‘I can’t afford a professional!’ I shrieked. ‘I barely had enough money to pay you and now look what’s happened!’
I gestured to the utter devastation surrounding me and threw my hands up in defeat. ‘That’s it. I’m screwed. Thanks very much Nobby!’
Nobby No-Jobs smiled, revealing a set of very rotten brown teeth, and started talking about all the reasons why it wasn’t his fault. He did offer to help me clear the rubble out, but wouldn’t be putting up any money towards hiring a builder to mend the ceiling.
I looked up at the massive hole in the ceiling and started to cry again. It was safe to say my dream house wasn’t off to a very good start. In fact, I doubted things could get much worse.
‘Ow, shit!’
I hopped around on one foot, clutching the other and yelping in pain. I’d managed to drop some rubble from the ceiling on it when I was trying to clear it away. With great difficulty, I managed to hobble over to one of the ancient kitchen chairs and threw myself down onto it.
‘Well this is just bloody brilliant!’ I thought aloud. I looked around the empty, derelict room and shook my head. ‘Is this what you had in mind for me when you left me this place, Nana? Knocking holes in the ceiling and nearly breaking my foot?’
Then it occurred to me that if she could see me now, Nana Lily would be in stitches. She always saw the funny side to things, always brought out the best in every bad situation. Right now, I could picture her offering me a cup of tea and an ice pack for my sore foot, trying not to laugh at my misfortunes.
‘You always were clumsy,’ she’d say with a smile, ‘like a bull in a china shop!’
